A/N: They're Whedon's, I merely fangirl.
"I heard shooting," the man on the catwalk said. The gun in his hands was one of Zoe's, but he didn't look too uncomfortable handling it. The woman crouched behind him, on the other hand… "Kaylee and I were gonna stage a rescue mission."
"Considering how we weren't but twelve feet away, you'd have likely gotten captured yourselves," the captain replied. "But there ain't nothin' to worry about, Wash. This here's Jayne Cobb." The brown-haired man motioned to the larger fellow who walked between him and Zoe. "He's had a recent change of employment."
"I gotta split profits with them, too?" Jayne complained around his cigar.
"You'll get the same percentage we agreed upon," Mal said. "And a bunk to yourself."
"No arguments from me about that last part," Wash said, sheathing the gun and fanning his nose. "Where did you pick up the ape?"
"He followed us home, dear. Can we keep him?" Zoe managed to keep a straight face. Jayne was coming to believe that nothing got past that cool dark exterior.
The smaller, younger woman on the catwalk did not exactly throw the pistol she'd been holding down with delight, but she looked much calmer once the captain had given the all clear. Prettier, too, Jayne decided… "Why wouldn't we, Zoe?" she asked, scrambling down the stairs. "It can get more'n a mite lonely when we're out in the black, with no fellas here but Wash and the Cap'n… I mean, I bet you've got all sorts of interestin' new stories, don'tcha, Jayne?" The pale little bantam of a man held back, wrapping an arm protectively about Zoe, but the sandy-haired girl bounded right over to their newest crewmember, acting for all the 'Verse like she'd never met a hired gun before.
Jayne gave her his best rougish grin. "I reckon I got all kinds o' tales you ain't heard the like of," he told her, careful not to crush her little hand in his grip. It wasn't so much that she looked particularly fragile, what with the engine grease on her cheek, but she just vibrated so that he was afraid to touch her. She was like some delicate, complicated machinery or butterfly that made him feel all awkward and apelike about.
"And I reckon you got all kinds o' stories that lil' Kaylee shouldn't be hearin'," Mal interrupted. The girl gave her captain a censuring glance, the kind Jayne's own sisters had always used to tell him to butt out of where a brother wasn't wanted. "We'll keep him, mei mei, but I ain't certain he's entirely housebroken yet."
"Make sure he doesn't come unannouced into my shuttle, then." The most beautiful woman Jayne Cobb had yet seen walked out into the cargo bay.
"I'll show him the sign." Mal put a hand towards Jayne's shoulder, stopping just short of actually making contact. The other hand extended towards the gorgeous woman as if in introduction. "Inara, this is Jayne Cobb. Cobb, this is the ship's Companion. She don't service crew, and Zoe and I don't have to kill no one on the ship."
To think, he'd once wanted his own bunk.