I Do Not Own Harry Potter or DC Comics
This story Features FemHarry and is a One-Shot Response to Blood Brandy's Vegas Vacation Challenge.
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Bruce Wayne did not usually drink.
This was for a few reasons. The biggest was he almost always had to be prepared to be Batman at a moments notice. He had gotten pretty good at acting drunk, at at the many parties he threw to both maintain the illusion that he couldn't possibly be Batman and to raise money for numerous charities, he often arranged with Alfred to drink apple juice, or other drinks that could be mistaken for alcohol.
Unfortunately, this led to the fact that, as he rarely actually drank to excess, he actually had a fairly low tolerance for alcohol.
Which was no doubt how Bruce ended up in his current predicament.
He had been nominated for a humanitarian award, thanks to his numerous donations and fund-raising efforts. The ceremony for said award had been in Las Vegas. With some help from Dick Grayson, his eldest son (adopted), the first Robin, and the current hero Nightwing, who had dressed up as Batman to patrol in Gotham, and add even more to the illusion that Bruce wasn't Batman, Bruce likely wouldn't have left Gotham. It helped that Joker was currently in Arkham, and the major villains that Bruce usually dealt with were laying low at the moment.
Bruce was usually able to predict nights when big things would happen. Not a hundred percent of the time, but there were certain signs on the streets of Gotham that something big was going to go down. Bruce didn't always know what it was, but he could usually predict when, probably about 90 percent of the time. And nothing big had gone down since Ivy and Harley escaped from Arkham two weeks earlier.
The two villains had been laying low, no doubt so as not to attract his attention.
The ceremony was held in Caesar's Palace, and Bruce had won the award. Unfortunately, Bruce hadn't been able to fake drinking.
And he had a reputation to live up to.
Which meant he had made frequent trips to the bar.
Bruce's last clear memory before waking up had been seeing Selina Kyle, better known as Catwoman, his on-and-off again love interest at the bar, to his surprise.
Everything after that was a blur.
He had flashes of memories, including someone with pink hair and Elvis for some reason, but that was it.
Then he woke up...
...Naked...
...In bed with five naked women...
...Including three he recognized...
….and one that appeared to be a teenager...
-with a wedding band on his finger...
Alfred was going to kill him. Bruce knew it.
The three women he recognized were Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley, and Selina Kyle. Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman respectively.
The two he didn't were the teenager...who had black hair, and numerous scars that Bruce could see, and a woman with short, spiky pink hair.
Despite his headache, Bruce quickly took in this information, and began analyzing the room, trying to figure out what happened and he moved, potentially waking his bed-mates.
First, all five women had wedding bands on their fingers, clothes were scattered everywhere, and there were several empty vials on the floor, six to exact.
Second, the blinds were closed, but this was obviously not his room at Caesar's Palace. Based on the decor, Bruce was guessing this was Macedonia, a casino owned by LexCorp.
Third, there were three large dufflebags in a corner, that Bruce could tell were filled with money.
Last, on the nightstand were a pair of glasses, and two holsters, that apparently held finely carved sticks.
Alfred wasn't just going to kill Bruce, he was going to do it slowly.
Dick, Tim, Damian, and Barbara were going to laugh themselves to death.
Bruce had no doubt he'd somehow gotten involved with magic, while drunk. Those finely carved sticks were no doubt wands, which meant that their owners had to be close, most likely the two women he didn't recognize, currently in bed with him. And Bruce hated dealing with magic period.
It was one thing he could never be fully prepared for, and went against all logic. Whenever he thought he had a handle on it, something would happen that proved he knew nothing.
Movement from the corner of his eye alerted him to the fact the teenager was about to roll out of the bed.
Sure enough, with a dull thump and a groan, she did just that.
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Elizabeth 'Liz' Potter groaned.
Between the floor waking her up, and the massive headache and queasy feeling in her stomach, she felt like shit.
She, reluctantly, opened her eyes, only to see nothing but blurs. She obviously wasn't wearing her glasses, so about all Liz could determine was that the blur of the room she was in didn't match the blur of the room she and Tonks had been staying in.
"Tonks," she called, hoping her friend hadn't abandoned her...especially as she was beginning to take notice of an ache between her legs, and was registering the fact she was naked and that that ache was accomplished by a sticky feeling.
"I think she's still sleeping," an unfamiliar masculine voice responded.
Oh joy...she and Tonks had apparently gone back to a mans hotel room. Considering the feeling between her legs, it didn't take Liz any time to figure out they likely had a threesome with him.
"Yep, she's snoring," another unfamiliar voice said, though this one was a woman's.
Okay, they had a foursome.
"I see your up Miss Isley," the male voice responded.
"Alcohol doesn't really affect me," the feminine voice replied. "I've been up, even before you." There was a slight pause. "And call me Ivy. After last night, I think you earned that right" From the tone of the woman's voice, Liz was sure the woman was smirking.
"Will you two shut-up, some of us are trying to sleep here," a woman commented, speaking with a Brooklyn accent.
Forget foursome, she and Tonks had participated in a freaking orgy.
Yet another new and feminine voice spoke up, "Or were before they had a blonde yell in their ear...Good morning Bruce...uh, two questions. Why are Harley and Ivy in bed with us, along with another woman I don't recognize? And what the hell happened last night?
"There's another girl that just rolled off the bed," the man, Bruce replied.
Liz made out a blur that she recognized as a person, poke their head off the bed.
"Sorry I didn't see you down there sweetie," the woman told her.
"No problem," Liz told her. "But uh...could someone tell me where my glasses are, everything's a blur at the moment?"
The blur that was someone disappeared, only to reappear a minute later, to hand Liz her needed glasses. "Here you go sweetie."
After putting them on, Liz was able to make out the attractive dark haired woman looking down at her. "Thanks...uh..."
"Selina," the woman said, giving Liz a small smile.
"Liz...and the snoring woman is probably Tonks, unless my math is off."
"I hope not," Selina commented, looking over her shoulder.
"It's not," the voice Liz had identified as Ivy spoke up.
Both Selina and Liz breathed a sigh of relief.
Selina looked back down at her. "Need help up?"
Liz waved her off. "I'm good. I think I'll stay down here until my stomach tells me it's safe to stand with puking."
Selina disappeared, no doubt sitting up on the bed. "You still haven't answered my questions Bruce?"
"That's because, aside from the obvious fact that we all had sex, I have no idea what happened," Bruce admitted.
Liz noticed the bed move. "That's it. If you guys won't let me sleep, I'm ordering room service," Brooklyn voice said. Being within sight of the door, Liz noticed a blonde woman open the door and walk into a living area...which meant this was either a hotel suite or an apartment. Based on the room service comment, Liz was betting on suite. In a much cheerier voice, she continued, "I'm ordering waffles."
"Food!" Tonks said abruptly. She likely just shot up as well judging from the movement of the mattress. "Ohhh..."
"Good morning Nymphadora," Liz said slowly.
"Don't call me that!" Tonks snapped, before she groaned again...this was followed a moment later by. "Liz, who are these people?"
"No idea," she admitted. "But please tell me you have hangover potion stashed away somewhere."
"In my bag...which I don't see."
"Ladies," Bruce interrupted. "Perhaps we should all get dressed, eat, and then, since she apparently isn't affected by alcohol, Miss Isley...
"Ivy," the woman in question corrected.
Bruce continued. "...Can tell us what exactly happened."
"Fuck that, I'm not putting my clothes back on with your cum dripping from my cunt," Tonks replied, "At least not without knowing where the rest of my clothes are. I'm taking a shower."
"I'll take one after," Selina said.
"I suppose I should take on too," Liz added from her spot on the floor.
Ivy didn't say anything, though the bed moved after, and a red hared, green skinned woman took a robe that was hanging on the door and wrapped it around herself. "While you lot are cleaning yourselves up, I'll make sure Harley doesn't go overboard with breakfast, and remind her to take a shower herself."
"Aren't you going to take one Ivy," Selina asked.
The redhead just smirked. "I already absorbed everything, she answered, walking from the room.
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After showers, clothes hunting, formal introductions, and breakfast, the six sat in the living area of the suite as Ivy explained what had happened, or at least what she knew of what happened.
She and Harley had been laying low in Vegas after escaping from Arkham Asylum, when they ran onto Tonks and Liz, who were already drunk, at a casino. Harley had, for some reason, taken a shine to them, and the four of them began hanging out. Eventually, they ran across Selina and Bruce, also drunk.
The group ended up gripping and complaining much to Ivy's amusement, as the only sober one present. Harley had made a comment about getting married, and Tonks had commented on a magical marriage. Ivy had, at everyone agreeing to get married to Bruce, who agreed with the idea, tried to stop them. Harley had commented that the only reason she didn't want to get married was that she was a lesbian who couldn't have kids. At that point Tonks asked why she couldn't have kids. Ivy had snapped as she explained her physiology prevented her from getting pregnant.
Tonks had suggested that magic could help with that.
A stunned Ivy had let Tonks lead the group to Las Vegas' magical district. What followed was a group wedding, the clinic wouldn't treat a non-magical unless they were family to a magical, and Ivy had been to excited at the idea of finally having children to protest. Magicals had no laws against polyamory apparently, so it had been no problem. Then a trip to the clinic where Ivy was examined...while the others did lord knows what.
Ivy was told all she needed was a fertility potion. After informing the others, Tonks led them to a shop, where she bought "Enough for everyone"...along with a vitality potion for Bruce so that he could perform for all of them on their wedding night.
Harley wanted to go to another casino, and they did...Macedonia.
Liz began playing roulette, and began winning, big time. She apparently won them the room they were in, along with 36 million dollars. They then retired to the room and, while only Ivy needed the fertility potion, all the girls drank one, while Bruce drank the vitality potion.
They then proceeded to have the orgy the all awoke from this morning.
Tonks groaned, as Selina asked, "I assume the fertility potion does what it sounds like?"
"That and more," Tonks explained. "Fertility potions not only ensure that a woman get's pregnant, but protects the fetus from any attempts to abort said pregnancy. It takes a near death experience for the mother for the fetus to be aborted. Add in the vitality potion Bruce took, and I guarantee that not only are we all married, but in nine months, we'll each give birth to his sprogs."
"Tonks," Liz said, drawing the older witch's attention. "Is there anyway to confirm that we're...well, pregnant?"
The pink haired witch was silent a moment as she thought. "Maybe. There's a spell that tells a witch, but only after her eggs are fertilized. If I remember my biology, it takes a few days for sperm to actually reach a woman's eggs...but the potions may have sped things up."
"So if we do the spell now, and it says no, we'll need to do it again in a few days is what you're saying?" Ivy clarified.
"Yeah," the metamorphmagus confirmed.
"Well then," what are we waiting for?" Selina asked.
Tonks cast the spell on herself first. When it came back positive, she proceeded to cast the spell on each of the women...it came back positive each time.
"Well Bruce, looks like you're gonna be a daddy," Selina said without looking at him. "Five times."
The thump caused all the girls to turn, to find Bruce passed out on the floor.
""He fainted," Harley said with a giggle.
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The exit from Vegas, to Gotham City (since it was home for Four of the six) didn't take long to organize. Though while Tonks and Liz were checking out of the hotel they were originally staying at, they stopped a robbery in progress thanks to some subtle use of magic.
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Alfred Pennyworth just barely managed to hide his smile.
The last few months had been...interesting to say the least. Finding out that Bruce had not only impregnated, but married five women, had been a shock. Finding out those women were Miss Isley, Miss Quinzel, Miss Kyle, and two witches, one of whom had only just turned sixteen, was an even greater shock. And to tell the truth, Alfred hadn't known whether to yell at Bruce or laugh.
Dick and Barbara had both laughed when they found out. Tim had just grinned maniacally. And Damien...He'd gotten a serious look on his face.
Damien had been acting more protective of the women than Bruce had.
Then Harley stumbled upon the Batcave.
The following conversation between Bruce, Nymphadora, Elizabeth, Pamela, and Harleen had been...humorous, it only got more so when Selina (who had already known Bruce was Batman) got dragged into it, and he'd had to excuse himself to laugh in private.
The situation only got more hilarious when Mr. Kent found out. Granted, he'd found out only after Bruce had spoken to him about the madman in England that Elizabeth and Tonks told him about, Voldemort. But it was still interesting to hear Superman bluntly, and seriously, tell Bruce to stay away from Kara (his cousin).
The deadpan look Bruce gave the Man of Steel for his serious comment almost made Alfred break.
Bruce, along with the Justice League, had resolved the problem in England, Alfred wasn't exactly sure how, as he was busy trying to care for five pregnant women.
Elizabeth, had been the first to give birth to twins, a boy and girl, named James Thomas Wayne and Lily Martha Wayne, after her and Bruce's parents. A few days later, Harleen gave birth to Victoria Leann Wayne. Pamela and Nymphadora had gone into labor the same day. With Ivy giving birth to Hawthorn Rose Wayne and Nymphadora giving birth to Theodore Bruce Wayne. Selina was last to give birth, giving birth to Helena Isis Wayne.
And Bruce was currently asleep n the corner of the nursery where a rocking chair was kept, a book he had been reading to the children, hanging from his hand. And all five of his wives had taken pictures.
Alfred would deny it if anyone asked, but he'd managed to sneak a few pictures himself, hence his smile.
One thing the old butler was positive was, with Bruce Wayne as their father, and Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Damien Wayne as elder brothers, god help any boy that took an interest in Lily, Victoria, Hawthorn, and Helena when they got older. Especially if they grew to be as beautiful as their mothers.
And Alfred had no doubts, James and Theodore would be any less protective.
And if they weren't...well, he was a former SAS officer before becoming a butler.
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I wrote this mostly to get back into writing after being unable to lately.
Please Review and Check Out the Challenges in my Forum and the Stories I have for Adoption under the Title: Please Adopt Me!