Title: Precautions
Author: Beth Pryor
Rating: T
Summary: An extension of the "bandage" scene between Annie and Auggie at the end of 4x02 when Annie returns from her ill-fated mission. Discussion turns to Joan's "predicament" and how that may affect their lives. Contains spoilers for that episode and the beginning of the Fourth Season.
Disclaimer: Covert Affairs and its characters belong to the USA Network.
Precautions
"It's Henry. He wants to meet me tomorrow." Annie's voice quivered as she struggled to counteract the adrenaline coursing through her body.
Auggie found her hand and carefully grazed her bruised knuckles. He needed to keep her calm. "Let's finish cleaning you up, okay?"
She nodded as she approached him. "Okay." She took a seat sideways on a barstool and directed his hands as he bandaged the rest of her scrapes. She found his touch comforting at first, but then as the Patrón kicked in, arousing. She eased her body against his, and he felt her exhale finally. Her hands found their way under his shirt as she clung to him.
"Bedroom?" He asked, taking her much calmer but still slightly tremulous hands into his as they disengaged.
"Yeah." She followed him there where she stepped out of her pants and balled them up, shrugging painfully out of her tank immediately afterward. She dropped her clothes into the hamper before crawling into the bed beside him. She felt the tequila warming her tightening muscles, realizing she had effectively displaced her feelings for the moment. But what she really needed was for Auggie to tell her that everything would be okay – whether or not it really would be. And he had. And he was beside her, ready to take away whatever she chose to give him.
He'd undressed as well, she noted as she snuggled up beside him. Usually he took the lead, but suddenly, his face contorted into a expression she could only describe as stricken as he almost pushed her away.
"What's wrong?" Maybe he was worried about hurting her. "I'm fine," she assured.
"I don't mean to be crass, but should we be, um, safer here?" Auggie inquired, moving away from her again as though his touch would addle her mind and vice versa.
With her nerves already on edge and her shoulder aching more than she cared to admit, Annie really wasn't in the mood for whatever this was. "I'm not sleeping with anyone else. Are you?"
"Of course not. And that's not what I mean. Obviously." He rolled to his right and sat up on the edge of the bed, facing away from her. "I just didn't think you were interested in having a baby right now." She didn't answer. He must have talked to Joan. Annie had kept her word and the older woman's secret. "It's not a super stable time for any of us," he continued as he felt around half-heartedly for his pants.
Annie hopped across the bed and wrapped her arms around his torso. She kissed his neck. "Hey!" She reached for his hands to quiet them. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." She felt him tensing under her embrace.
"I'm just saying I don't think Joan was planning on any of this."
"Auggie. Of course she wasn't. She's what, 42, 43? And her husband just told everyone we work with, as well as the entire world, that he cheated on her – even though he actually didn't." Annie paused. "When did you talk to her?"
"This afternoon. She asked me about checking into evidence of Arthur's affair, and right before her polygraph she came to see what I'd found. I told her I had nothing. Because there isn't anything to find." He ran a hand through his hair. "Arthur had gone to all that trouble, and she didn't ask me outright, but it felt like I was lying to her." He leaned back on Annie. "I started to tell her, but she totally blindsided me with the baby."
"She came right out and told you? She told me Arthur didn't know yet. And she only told me because I heard her puking in the bathroom."
He shrugged. "Maybe she was letting you off the hook, so you didn't have to keep it from me. She made a point of telling me that you were the only person who knew."
"Maybe."
He really didn't want to get into his relationship with Joan. He turned the conversation back to them. "But back to the here and now. I haven't been terribly responsible."
"Do you want to start wearing condoms? Because usually relationships go the other way." Annie tried to sound indignant but finished the statement with a snicker.
"Well, no, but if you want me to I will."
She realized how serious about this he was trying to be and that she was going to have to give him a more complete explanation. "Oh no, Auggie. It's really not necessary. I've got it covered."
"Okay." He assumed that she did, but he wanted to be on the record as having asked.
"Like really covered. Like it doesn't matter if I'm in a Russian prison for a few weeks or undercover for six months."
"Oh?" He seemed confused.
"Haven't you seen the commercial on TV?" As soon as she said it, she laughed. "Right. Probably not."
"Can't say that I have, Sweetie."
"Right, well I have a Mirena.
"Like you have the right to remain silent?"
Annie smiled at his ability to maintain humor even in the most serious of conversations. It was his way of showing her that they were still them despite everything swirling around them.
"No. Like birth control that lasts for five years without me doing anything. An IUD."
"Oh."
"But…"
"But what?"
"But I'm about four years into this one. I've been thinking about what to do when the time for my next appointment comes."
"That's months from now," he pointed out.
"I know." She paused. "But we're not really getting any younger."
It felt like ages before Auggie answered her. "Are you serious?" he stuttered.
"I don't know. Maybe. Does that freak you out?" Obviously it did.
"Yeah. Honestly, it does."
Annie's head suddenly felt clearer than she had since returning from the bridge. "Yeah?"
"For a couple of different reasons, one is your skill in the field. I don't know how you can realistically do both. Or that you should want to." He thought about his best friend and now sister-in-law calling him in Boston all those years ago to tell him she was pregnant with his brother's babies. "Babies change things."
Annie slid from behind him to take a seat beside him on the bed. "Of course they do. I'm not saying that things would be the same, but we would figure it out."
Auggie shook his head. "I don't think this is something we can just 'wing.' You can't realistically say 'Oh, I'm not available for this assignment because I have to breastfeed' or whatever. I've been there a long time, Annie. Female covert field operatives don't have babies."
"That's not completely true, and you know it."
"Okay – maybe if they become a department head or director or it's part of a long-term deep cover, but not in the job you have."
Annie leaned her head against his shoulder. "And the one thing a baby won't change is that you'll still be blind."
Auggie exhaled raggedly and after a few seconds, he nodded.
She stood and moved in front of him. She leaned her head down on his. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her toward him.
"Auggie," she whispered, as she kissed his slightly salty cheeks. He didn't cry very often. And almost only when it involved her.
"I can handle me. I can handle you when you're out there, but if something happened to you." He inhaled a hitched breath. "I couldn't do it without you. I'd fuck it all up."
She kissed him again. "You wouldn't. And you wouldn't have to. I'll be here with you."
"You can't promise that, Annie."
"And you can't promise me that you won't get hit by a car crossing the street." She crawled behind him and began massaging his tense shoulders and neck.
"You're trying to disarm me. That's not fair."
She kissed his neck and then his ears. "No one needs to be up in arms."
"You won't even agree to marry me. Now you want a baby?"
"I'll marry you when you ask me. At the right time. But these are things we should talk about before that happens. Don't you think?"
"Yeah. But tonight?"
"Everything with Joan and Arthur? Seth Newman trying to kill me? Henry Wilcox having it out for us all? Yeah. Tonight seemed appropriate."
"You know I love you, right? And in theory, I want us to have the 2.5 kids and a dog and the picket fence in Forest Hills with my brothers, but I don't know if that's for us. I don't see how it's possible."
"You don't think I'll really leave the field?"
"No. I don't think I can leave the Agency." He rubbed his eyes. "What would I do out there in the real world?"
"Auggie. You can't be serious."
"You think I would have a position like this just anywhere?"
She guided him back to his pillow and moved into the crook of his arm. "Of course you could."
"You overestimate me."
"You underestimate others." She countered. "Things have changed out there since you got back." He'd gone straight back to the Agency when he'd returned from rehab. "The job situation for everyone was bad in 2008, multiply that by about 100 for returning and disabled Vets. Things are different now for a lot of reasons, and you have five more years experience here. That's like gold in the private sector. You'd find a job in a matter of days if you were looking – Internet security is huge right now."
"Annie," he still sounded skeptical.
"You think I'm blowing smoke up you ass, but I'm not."
He wrapped his left arm around her a little tighter. "Regardless, I can't leave Arthur and Joan until Henry is dead or back in prison. You can understand that, right?"
"I understand."
"But then?"
"Then we see what happens."
"Like Bravo?"
"What?"
"The channel with the Housewives shows you pretend not to watch. I hear things."
Annie laughed. "It's 'Watch What Happens,' but you're close."
Auggie shrugged. "I generally am."
"I love you, Auggie."
"I love you, Annie, and I'm glad that you're safe."
"I know you hate this," she offered.
"I miss not being out there with you. I can pretend that I don't, but I wish I'd been there tonight."
"To protect me?"
"Nah. You can handle yourself out there. I just hate missing out on all the fun." She could tell by the tone of his voice in the dark that this was a completely genuine response.
"Believe me – tonight wasn't fun."
"But that buzzing of excitement as the blood and adrenaline rush to your head, and the feeling that you're actually running for your life. I'd like to feel that in an appropriate situation, as opposed to trying to cross the street or on the Metro or shopping for socks."
"I think you're probably the only person in the world who's longing to run for his life, you know?"
"It's all in your perspective, I guess."
"I suppose so. And I'd like to have the perspective of you being on top of me, if you're in agreement with that."
He rolled to face her and kissed her longingly. "Oh, I'm sure I can oblige that request and any others you may have along those lines."
Annie reached for him. He took her into his sturdy arms, and she let it all go.
FIN