Sokka on... Maikka!

"I'm not actually on Maikka. That makes it sound like I'm taking it like a drug, or standing on Mai's back, or something weird like that. I'm just going to be, you know, talking about it. Maikka. That's me and Mai, apparently. Together as a couple. Oh, and we're both from the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon. So, yeah, I think that's the preliminaries out of the way. Oh, and I'm going to be talking, like, way fast for the rest of this, because that's apparently how these things are done. I don't know, I'm just trying to get by.

"All right so I'm like this awesome Water Tribe Warrior who's handsome and really really smart NO THIS ISN'T THE UNRELIABLE NARRATOR PART THIS ALL COMES FROM GIRLS I KNOW PLUS MY SISTER WAIT THE SMART PART COMES FROM MY SISTER NOT THE HANDSOME PART and I come from the Southern Water Tribe not the Northern and I hang out with the Avatar and hit evil Firebenders with my club and that's all I can think of right now. For a guy who never even met a girl WHO WASN'T MY SISTER until a year after I was supposed to have my Rite of Passage ice-dodging test that would make me a MAN I actually did really well with all the ladies I met because every single one of them EXCEPT FOR THAT UGLY GIRL WHO WAS THE FORTUNETELLER'S ASSISTANT BUT SHE WAS CRAZY immediately got the hots for me and flirted with me to such a degree that I honestly had trouble keeping all their names straight especially that time I was jumped by an entire poetry club's worth of giggling teenagers.

"Oh yeah, they want me.

"Anyway it wasn't just Firebenders we were fighting because OOPS MAYBE YOU NEED MORE DETAIL you see the Fire Nation was totally trying to take over the whole world and they were evil so I was fighting them with the Avatar and later we picked up a new friend named Toph who smells kind of funny and can be mean a lot but she's an awesome Earthbender and a lot of fun to joke with and my sister was there too. So of course the Firebenders wanted to stop us BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN THE FIRE NATION DUH YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A WATER TRIBE GENIUS TO KNOW THAT but it wasn't just Firebenders because not everyone is a bender over there THAT'S ONE THING THE FIRE NATION GOT RIGHT BECAUSE WARRIORS ARE COOL BUT NOT AS COOL AS THE SOUTH POLE RIMSHOT and two of the Fire Warriors we had to fight were these girls called Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee was really cute and friendly but I'm a very practical guy KATARA YOU CAN STOP LAUGHING and I was kind of scared how she was cute and friendly WHILE TRYING KILL ME so even though she obviously really had the hots for me I didn't give her any attention. Mai was kind of quiet and gloomy and I never really heard her talk except for a few battle taunts that could have been directed at Toph instead of me and they weren't even very clever taunts and the way I was taught was to concentrate on the fighting and then do your taunting afterwards so that you do both to the best of your ability THAT'S A VERBATIM LESSON FROM MY DAD HE'S EVEN COOLER THAN ME AND I BET HE HAD ALL THE GIRLS FOLLOWING HIM TOO so the way I figure it Mai didn't have a lot going on in the brains department.

"But I heard that maybe she kind of likes me EVEN THOUGH SHE'S ZUKO'S GIRLFRIEND and that some people on that scary internet thing like us as a couple or something but I don't really see how it would work at all. For one thing she's kind of ugly because she looks really Fire Nation-y and I just don't go for that look but I will grant that her hair is really shiny SERIOUSLY YOU CAN SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN IT WHEN YOU GET UP CLOSE TO IT AND IT SMELLS LIKE FIRE LILLIES and I guess her figure is okay but then she stands next to Ty Lee and suddenly looks like a boy AND TRUST ME I LIKES ME THE LADIES and her voice is scary. I'm told that her personality is like mine in that she's always negative and sarcastic but I think that's really misreading me because I'm not negative I'm just realistic while Mai is really just obsessed with the worst in everything like the time she said the moonlight was ugly. And besides LIKE I SAID BEFORE she's Zuko's girlfriend and they're always making out and Zuko really likes her for some reason but Zuko likes being unhappy so I guess Mai works for him that way and I have Suki who is usually really nice when she isn't being cranky and she's way hotter than Mai and gets along with Katara so why would I trade a good thing for a new set of problems?

"Of course if everyone thinks she's totally into me I can always spend a little time with her and let her down gently FROM BEHIND A SHIELD and maybe check her out some so that I can say I gave her an honest assessment in the name of SCIENCE because I'm nothing if not thorough and devoted to the scientific method.

"My La, how can... anyone talk like that... for so... long? I'm... way out of... breathe here... someone... bring me... water... and don't tell... Mai I... said any... of this because... she'll seriously kill me. Thanks."

END

Author's Note: Maikka Week 2010 has been announced. For full information, check out my deviantArt profile at loopy777 at deviantart dot com, but the basic gist is that Maikka Week will start on September 19th, and end on October 2nd. There are a total of 28 prompts, but of course it isn't mandatory to do them all:

Corvus Themes: Thunderstorm, Sidekick, Compromise, Infiltration, Match, Note, Hair
Rhopalocera Themes: Turnabout, Father, Hurt, Tied Off, Behave, Just Deal, Pragmatic
Acrimony Themes: Servant, Vice, Poke, Wrap It Up, Illicit, Wilderness, Siblings
[Character] + Maikka: Yue, Zuko, Katara, Toph, Suki, Tom-Tom, Kya