I sat there in the dark all alone in the apartment. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Ricky had left with John to go visit his parents and I told him I wasn't feeling well and would like to stay home. He agreed and left. I couldn't tell him the truth. That I found out today by my doctor I was pregnant. All I wanted to do is scream I was so angry that I was in the position again.
It all started about a week ago. I was cleaning up and working on the laundry while Ricky was at work. My reminder went off on my phone telling me to take my birth control pill. When I opened it up I realized that It was on the last pill. As I went to swallow I realized that I hadn't gotten my period for that month. I was normally regular so me being late was not something I was used to. I decided that I give a few more days and not to say anything to Ricky because I didn't want to get him upset if it was nothing. Things went on as always and I started to forget about it which was a good thing cause otherwise I would me a wreck and I know people would see that. Then that's when symptoms started to appear. I remember getting ready to eat dinner with Ricky when all the sudden the smell of the freshly cooked chicken sent me to straight to the bathroom and barfing so badly. Then the next day I woke up with breast pain and a headache. It didn't stop. I noticed that my boobs began to get larger and I was getting so so tired at the end of the day that I would fall asleep sitting up.
With all of these things suddenly happening I almost knew without a doubt I had to be pregnant. But What I couldn't understand was how. I had been so careful. We used birth control pills and condoms for the most part. Where did we go wrong?
Well according to the doctor It was exactly our faults. You see I had gotten sick about a month and half ago and was put on a antibiotic. At the end of my visit the doctor was about to ask me if I had any question and if I was taking any medication but before I had the chance to answer she was rushed away for a emergency patient.
I didn't know until later that you can get pregnant while on the pill and taking antibiotics. I guess it cause the pill to stop working and Ricky hadn't been so good at wanting to use condoms lately since we got engaged. He kept saying don't worry you will be fine. Your on the pill.
If only I knew that I was very fertile at that moment and that we were going to get knocked up. It was the night that we were fooling around in the bath tub. We went straight to the bed. And before we knew we were making love. It was so great! And then the bombshell that I never saw coming. He told me that he though we should get married in a few years. That was icing on the cake for that night.
All I could think was how was I going to tell him this. He was so happy that we were engaged and were starting to talk about wedding plans. He seems so happy. This was going to kill him. We were already living pay check to paycheck and living in a one bedroom apartment. How was this going to work? Would he want to leave me once he found out? My head was a mess. Then not to mention he was starting college soon and I would be in my senior year of high school. People would think I was the stupidest person in the world getting pregnant again. What was wrong with me and Ricky?
After what seem like hours of crying I finally had to pull it together because I knew they be back. I pulled out the bed and turned out the lights and got into bed. Ricky came in and released I was asleep so he didn't turn much light on and put John straight to bed. He then came and join me in bed and gave me a kiss and went to bed.
The next morning I was the first to get up and get moving for the day. I got ready for summer school and woke Ricky up. Lucky him he didn't have anything to do over the summer other than work so I gave him a kiss and said see you later and took john to daycare. He on the other hand said he was going to work on getting things lined up for college and finish paperwork up.
At school I couldn't focus. All I thought about was I was going to have to tell him and my family soon because I could tell I was starting to show already. I was 8 weeks pregnant and since this was my second time around it wasn't going to be as easy as the first time with my weight.
After school I went to work and then headed home. Ricky was still working so I had the apartment to myself. I decided to get on the computer and see just how hard the GED test was going to be. I figure that I wouldn't want to finish my senior year pregnant and I knew we would need more income so I figured I should start looking for a second job.
Ricky finally came home and started on dinner. He asks me if I had finished my homework and how my day was. I replied yeah and it was okay. He continued to talk to me but my mind was too focused on job applications and GED stuff. When I stop talking to him and started to get a little annoyed. He asks me what was so important that I could not talk to him. I said I'm sorry sweetheart I'm just looking at email in hopes he leave it alone. He said well we need to start talking about our wedding when we want to have it and so on. I guess his parents were too excited and same with him and he wanted it to happen right away. I on the other hand was thinking it was going to be after I finished high school and then with the baby news I just got very annoyed and didn't want to talk about it.
Ricky took my attitude about this stuff as I was not ready to get married and reply with angry "If you don't want to get married you are going to have to say so!"
With that I walked out of the room. I could stand it. Later on that night after I put John to bed I knew we have to talk and so I went into the living room and sat down on the bed. He reached his hand out and said what's wrong? We need to talk about earlier. Are you having second thoughts?
I reply no it's just that this is my last summer before everything is going to change. We grew up because we had john and missed out on a lot but after this year we really have to grow and focused on college and getting real jobs and it's like our last summer of fun and I just want to forget about stuff until the fall. Can we just do that?
He smiled at me and said is that all? I can handle that. I just don't want you to change your mind on me. I thought you wanted out of the relationship or something.
No I said never! And with that we kissed and went to bed in each other's arms.
That next week seem to be calm and great and now worries until Ricky started to notice I wasn't in the mood for sex. It been about a week and a half and I never turn down sex but since I had gotten pregnant sex seem to be the last thing on my mind. And besides I was kind of afraid he notices my stomach starting to get bigger and my boobs and that would end up leading to questions I was not ready to answer yet.
He seemed annoyed but left it alone. Later on that week at school I did something stupid and decided to take the blame for Ethan trying to steal condoms from the nurses office. While trying to take the blame I ended up getting suspended and that started another fight with Ricky.
He didn't understand what was going on with me lately. But that was not the worst part. In helping Ethan I had to condoms in my bag and when Ricky found them he got even more upset thinking I was messing around with someone since me and him didn't really wear condoms anymore and with that he stormed out.
I sat at home crying because I knew that I had only a few more days when I would have to tell him. So I went over and over it in my head how I was going to tell him. He finally came back later that night. He walked in the door and just looked at me. He said what's going on with you? He then became to list everything that he had noticed was going on with me. After he finished he looked at me and said OMG…You're not pregnant are you?
All I could do is cry and shake my head. He then did something I didn't think he would do and ran over to me and hug me. He told me that it would be okay and that we can get through this. I could talk all I did was sit on the bed and curl up in a ball and he held me all night long.
The next morning we decide to talk about it and we cleared up everything from how I got pregnant to what I want to do about our situation. After that he said he would support me on everything I wanted to do and that I didn't have to get my GED and a 2nd job but if that's what I wanted to do It was okay.
I asked him the question that was killing me for so long. Are you mad? I mean how are you dealing with this?
He replied back with the best answer ever. I'm really okay with this. I mean yeah we picked a bad time for this to happen but I love you! The baby was conceived in Love, and we are about to get married. I used to think that John was the worst thing to happen while you were pregnant but I was so wrong and we can handle this. I'm not going anywhere and I hope you aren't' and we can truly be a family now!
An with that I felt so so much better. He gave me a big kiss and then placed his hand over my stomach and said I am going to be here during everything from doctor appointments to the actual birth to raising our second kid together. Now to tell the parents….