First chapter! This is an AGSZC aka One true fivesome fanfiction with the possibility of Cloud/vincent and very minor Clerith (This one will go nowhere)
This story will jump from past to present and feature flash backs and alternating POVs.
Warning: Minor swearing and suggestive themes/violence.
Also I'm terrible at updating but I plan to finish this story to the end but it may take time. But PLEASE don't let that discourage you from reading. I'm constantly rewriting and updating the path in which I want this fic to take. Sometimes in order to out-write myself from what I feel is a corner or to inspire my muse.
If your rereading this, don't be alarmed if this is very different from the first time you may have read it. To new comers I hope you enjoy it!
(Past/Angeal's POV)
He couldn't take his eyes off of the being before him.
In and out, up and down went a surprisingly muscular, yet somehow still small looking chest.
Fragile...almost...though he knew that not to be true. A blemish on the side of his face seemed to throb in agreement.
It was quiet, save for the shallow steady breaths of the sleep induced blond. Thanks to quick thinking and a handy materia.
Meanwhile his own hollow breath seemed in that moment just a bit to loud for his own ears.
He wondered absentmindedly how things could have gone so wrong. It had been sudden, unexpected...well...at least for Genesis and he.
The 1st decided he would have to have a talk with a certain 'puppy' and General. That is when and if they decided to show their faces again.
He was just glad that Cloud had not been there to bare witness to the explosive conversation that had ensued. The Banora native knew he never wanted his youngest lover to be subjugated to the harsh words and accusations spilling from the lips of this doppelganger.
Even if it is the truth? A voice whisper mournfully in the back of his mind. He was painfully aware of its similarity to his own.
Granted however, it seemed that the harsh words were only directed at them and not the teen. He was grateful for that at least. However, these so-called truths that spilled from petal lips...
Lies, he told himself. Head nodding in agreement.
If only he could actually believe that.
Still...he was certain he didn't want Cloud around the unknown man lying now so placidly on the bed in front of him.
Even if they looked like twins.
Up and down, in and out. A gentle sigh escaping pink lips.
The ravenette couldn't help instinctively reaching for the materia within his pocket. Ready to cast it if he needed. However, the man made not another noise nor movement and slowly the 1st could feel himself relax. Yet, the edge could not leave him.
How could someone have eyes burn with the icy flames of hell? Yet, wear the face of an angel?
It was without a doubt worrisome. Everything that the man had said to them. His claims, all the allegations shooting holes through their hearts in only a few short moments. Exploiting their darkest lies and unknowns. So rapidly and effortlessly as he tore away the veil from their eyes.
And they...well, they could do nothing but listen. It was something that tore them apart, yet the ravenette couldn't help the sense of relief that had washed over him as well. There were somethings that had needed to air but it had been to deep, to personal...to dark to touch.
With good reason too.
Now here they were...
He wish he could say he wasn't all that surprised. The signs had been right in front of him the entire time. He could even feel the signs inside himself.
Yet, he still wished that the rust-haired commander would have at least confided in them...in him...even if just a little. Shared even the tiniest snips of the pain he was feeling.
Instead of having someone else spill the truth and plunge a knife through their hearts.
The ravenette wasn't sure how he could've help but he could of at least given his support to his long time lover. Could've done something, anything...they could have found the solution together or at the very least tried.
They could be there for one another when they need it most. When he needed it.
He sighed.
In the end he found he really couldn't blame Genesis for hiding something such as that..after all wasn't he doing the same?
Though this man had said nothing. The 1st knew that this man's words had held the implications, the suggestion of the boat Genesis and he road...together.
Would he truly end up like that? His hand ran through his hair, glaring mildly at the onyx strands. Almost daring.
He loved the color of silver. It was the color of stars on a cloudless night against the rich velvet of the sky, It was the precious gleam of his family heirloom after a good shining, it was the color of love from the silky strands of his lover.
But on him...no...it was the color of death.
He couldn't blame the red-head for storming off in a flurry of fury either. He was surprised however, when it had been Sephiroth who had immediately gone after the materia user. Usually it was him that had to go after and consequently calm the fiery man. Yet, even jealousy couldn't bare to rear its head as the gravity of the situation filled him.
But, that had been hours ago and had ended up leaving him alone with a harsh icy-blue gaze that seemed to do nothing but burn holes into him.
...and look how well that had ended... He mused.
Tearing his gaze from the still sleeping blond he looked out an adjacent window. Grimly he watched as the sky slowly but steadily grew darker as the day turned to night.
Silently he wondered, What would tomorrow bring?
He always thought himself level headed. That he wasn't one to have his head in the clouds. Wasn't one to take things lightly.
But, he knew for certain he had been careless. He had taken his peace for granted...and now nothing would be the same again.
Lips pursuing as they continued to take in the setting sun. His gaze eventually sought out the only other figure in the room.
If this man, swordsman, SOLDIER? Was truly-
His eyes closed as he frowned. Grimacing at the possibility.
Why did that even have to be a option?
Cloud was...Cloud was...He was too innocent...too kind...sweet...He was...
The Commander often had nightmares of the young Nibelheimer getting hurt on missions. Even during the day he was plagued by the idea that teen was out there somewhere in pain.
...And as cruel as it was to admit, even to just himself. He was glad that Cloud had never made it into SOLDIER. He would be even happier if the blond quit the army all together. It would be a little harder to do things together...but the blond would be safe. And that was all that mattered, right?...
Every time the infantryman came home with so much as bruise, the tiniest scrape, even a small scratch. The ravenette felt his heart clench in fear.
He had long since understood his own desires and the possessiveness he held. More than anything he knew how wrong it could be. It didn't stop his thoughts though. His urges and instincts often overriding rhyme and reason whenever the blond was involved.
That's why he dread the day when Cloud picked up his gun or sword knowing it would be his last.
The ravenette didn't think he was ready. Knew he wasn't.
Not about the possibility of losing his young lover or the fate that may await him in the future.
Especially it this was what awaited him.
How could things have ever gone so wrong?
He didn't want to admit it. Admit that the man before him was indeed their Cloud and that they...that he...had hurt him, and badly. Very badly.
But, somehow that seemed to still be putting it mildly.
What had he been thinking? Had he been thinking at all?
He couldn't, didn't want to believe he could ever hurt his lover. Especially not his sweet little blond. His fingers unconsciously twisted the fabric of his pants, the leather of his gloves squeaking in protest.
Cloud...
His head was starting to hurt...again.
Nightmares were his constant companion these last few months and daylight brought no relief.
...I am perfect. A perfect... monster...
His eyes squeezed shut until the whispers faded. Forgotten images dancing just out of his reach. Sometimes it was his heart that hurt more than his head after these...attacks?...or whatever they were. He wasn't sure and was too afraid to ask Hollander or Gaia forbid Hojo about them. Yet, telling his lovers seemed just as forbidden.
Slowly blue revealed once more to gaze upon a slumbering blond.
Was this truly Cloud? Their beloved?
He was hesitant to accept that fact despite all the evidence. All that had transgressed.
Hesitant to accept that their shy, innocent, caring little blonde, their little spitfire with a hidden backbone that could make grown men weep in awe...could ever look at him with such contempt, eyes filled with so much hatred and most of all fear. Towards them...towards him.
What had he done to earn such looks?
Oh he wasn't naive. He knew those kinds of gazes well, he was perhaps not as feared as Sephiroth or even Genesis, but he too had earn his own fair share of enemies. Even fellow SOLDIERs and civilians carried their own brands of respectable fears and righteous disdain.
But, never did he think he would ever see that look on one of his beloveds...or at least someone who looked so much like them.
As if his soul would be blind enough to be fooled by looks.
His heart yearned with a burning need, so ready to consume him with the acceptance of this person. As if already so familiar to them. His mind however screamed with all it might against it.
What a losing battle he faced.
He leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees as his brows drew together in deep thought.
Would the world truly be so cruel to allow such a fate to happen? To allow an angel to fall to the hands of the devil?
His soul cried as heart and mind battled against one another to a pointless end.
There was no use arguing. He already knew who was right.
Though he tried desperately to squash it. He wasn't ready to admit, not yet...not ever. His eyes grew distant, barely registering his feet picking him up out of his chair and over to the slumbering blond.
He didn't want to thinking about...
His hand twitched by his side.
...to feel it...
Fingers graced a pale cheek, puffs of hot air hitting his glove.
...to be the reason...
Warm and soft. This close he could smell under the musk and leather the sweet scent of winter air and homemade bread.
...the cause...
His lips grazed soft pink ones before he realized what he was doing. Throwing himself back in shock, face red as a hand covered his mouth.
The factor...as to why this person that lay seemingly so peaceful; was in truth every bit the opposite.
He thumped against the wall, slowly sliding down it.
What was he doing?
He felt fire and ice fill his heart.
What have we done to you?
The SOLDIER took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart.
This man was not Cloud. He couldn't be. He was too mistrustful, harsh and cold.
But hadn't Cloud been the same way until they got him to open up?
He shook his head
No. Of course not, he told himself...Okay, maybe the blond hadn't always been the warmest but Cloud had never been as callous as this man. At least never to this extend and even with maturity and battle experience the blond wouldn't fall to such lows...or so he hoped...
After all hadn't they done everything to ensure that Cloud would never be able to?
Yet, looking at this man he could just barely see the shy but, eager eyed teen he had come to love. Instead he saw...He saw a man that looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. As if life's only purpose was out to get him.
Like death awaited him around every corner and maybe it did or maybe...something far worse...
Still was it possible for someone that held such minuscule amounts of someone he loved, truly be his beloved?
Even with their precautions was it truly possible for one person to change so much? Could an angel really be striped of their wings?
And who...whoever would dare to break someone so lovely?
The frightened look this man held in his eyes burned in the back of his mind.
no... His mind could only whisper in a silent mantra.
He took in a particularly deep breath, he knew somehow he had caused this person pain. Whether they were truly Cloud or not. Whether by accident or...purpose but there was something that worried him far greater than his own actions.
Eyes that burned brightly with so much emotion and...something else.
His fists un-clenched, fingers twitching sporadically as he tried to calm himself.
Let's say he did entertain the thought that this person was Cloud.
Only there was one major problem.
Cloud had failed the SOLDIER testing.
Why then?
Sure someone could retake the exams but it was easy if all you had failed was the physical or even classroom tests. The psychological portion however, was much harder for one to gain entrance back into.
With good reason, ShinRa couldn't afford to have a bunch of super charged men with fragile minds running amok. Not good for business.
And Cloud had failed that part. It had been for the best...
To soft, forgiving of everyone but himself. Guilty complex or so they had announced. A great leader and teammate but someone who could easily fall prey to depression and self-destruction and for ShinRa it meant weakness. Weakness was not something they could afford for such powerful soldiers.
Why then?
Cloud was meant to be the normal one. The pure one, untainted by Mako or ShinRa.
Why then?
He wasn't blind and he knew he had done some less than honorable things in his life. Some of which haunted his darkest hours and it was something they had all agreed Cloud should never experience.
Yet...here lie a man that might as well crush all his hopes and dreams.
Surely Cloud would not be able to take the exam again. Perhaps with their connections they could arrange something, maybe. But that was a big if? As in if they would actually use them...they wouldn't.
Truly he was a despicable person, worse than dirt. Silently he begged Cloud would forgive him should the blond ever find out.
He could only hope the blond would understand.
He had to, they had to. It was for the best, for the teen's safety, his happiness.
Since when do living lies equals happiness? The same painfully mournful voice muttered.
He tensed, breath stalling as he processed the words.
His heart started to race on it's own accord. Trying not to look at one place for too long as his vision faded in and out.
It was happing again. Would that show itself? What if the others came. They couldn't see it.
He was sure his eyes must be dilated at this point.
He had to calm down. Now was not the time to argue with a voice inside his head. Even if he was sure it wasn't just a voice.
He couldn't allow it to use his guilt against him.
What was done was done. It's what had been done for the best. For Cloud's future.
And look where that got you...
His eyes widened, his own mind couldn't be implying that this man was the result of...of...their actions. It couldn't be true...
No...No they just wanted Cloud to be safe and happy. The wars and battle of nations and men would never touch him.
They would make sure of it. Had promised that no matter what they would always be there.
They would protect him.
You didn't...
For a moment he felt his entire body freeze.
They didn't...
He didn't...
He didn't...
He didn't...
...and Cloud suffered for it.
Slowly he got up. Feet trudging again to the side of the bed.
His gaze plastered itself to the te- man's face.
Of all the people to look like. Why him? Why did it have to be him?
It was so easy to see his lover lying there and not a reaper clothed in black.
This man was far more unassuming, almost peaceful as he sleeped. Mouth open just the slightest to let tiny wisps of air to escape pink lips.
He had to stop himself from leaning forward.
There was a tiny knit of eyebrows, while blond hair created a mockery of a halo against the pillow. Head titled against fabric as it so delicately caressed a heart shaped face.
It was a sight he was all too familiar with and one of which was all too wrong in that moment.
Everything about the man screamed familiarity. He could image caressing pale skin, he could see his hands roam head to toe over barely there freckles on warm skin.
His fingers twitched in anticipation, he would not give into their urges.
The ravenette could almost feel the taste of those pouted lips against his. All the while he could clearly picture running his fingers through ever gravity defying hair, knowing it to be baby soft.
His body begged to be united.
Cloud was beautiful that was undeniable, Genesis often said he was positively angelic looking. It was something the broadsword commander both loved and loathed.
There were too many eyes and wandering hands for his liking. All of which he knew wished to corrupt such innocent beauty.
And this man looked far too innocent for someone who's eyes blazed with Mako.
Denying his own wants, the 1st knew he had to listen to reason. He couldn't allow his judgement to be clouded by looks or feral urges.
This wasn't Cloud... at least not the one he knew. Not the one of now.
Regardless of who this blond truly was, at the moment he was a danger.
Gloved hand running gently across his own throat, the ravenette could still feel the phantom caress of the man's blade against his throat.
Despite that battle having long since past.
His head started to ache again and he had to steady himself on the night stand. Sending a lamp crashing to the floor.
Luckily the blond stayed deep asleep. Unaware of the inner turmoil the Commander was facing.
In and out
In and out
In and out, the 1st breathed. Eyes closed as images bombarded him. Only this time one stood out.
The silver of blade and something white. Yet, the feeling of desperation and overwhelming guilt filled him. Someone else was near him. Yet their face always remained blurred, voice muffled.
He was glad.
He didn't want to know who it was.
This person who had struck him down,
Who he had given his most precious possession to...
Because he had a feeling he already knew...
Body and mind finally began steadying themselves.
He shook his head, trying to clear the remnants of the ill fated dream.
Memory, his mind whispered.
"You're crying."
Not for the first time his body seized in shocked. But it was not a voice inside his head that spoke to him now.
Slowly he looked up to see see electric blues staring blankly back at him. Accentuated by golden lashes and pale skin.
They weren't a bad fit, however he still preferred baby blue.
Okay I promise this is the last time I redo this chapter. Much to my own dislike, I did end up omitting a large chunk of the original chapter. Hopefully I took care of misspelled words and made the sentences more suitable for reading.
Added a few references from chapters further down the line (Which may or may not change), which as you guessed it might change the plot a bit.
Hopefully you the readers will still enjoy this and don't be afraid to leave reviews with feedback, questions, comments or concerns. I love writing and this is a ship I enjoy writing for others.