Disclaimer: I do not own anything of the Phantom of the Opera. I am just a fan.
Chapter 1 – Wide Eyed Fears
With a heavy heart, Christine entered the little chapel of the opera house as she had done many times before. Still wearing the gown she wore to the cemetery that morning, she kneeled before the alter and began to pray. This time, however, she did not pray for her late father, but for her fallen angel. After what happened in the cemetery she knew he was lost to her forever. There was no going back now. How could there be? They could never be together now. He killed any hope that they had.
She prayed fervently, asking God to help her hate him. How desperate she must be to end this mad feeling that she held in her heart. She must be mad herself. How could she still have feelings for this insanely beautiful man?
He had fallen into the darkest place of his mind and had taken her with him. She knew it was not right to feel the way she did. Why did she? She feared him and yet she was drawn to him. He excited her. She saw the disfigured side of his face and yet it was a face she adored. His eyes held so much sadness and adoration. She could see his soul and hers as well. And his voice was like Heaven. It was magical, so powerful that it could render her helpless and take her to complete ecstasy or complete terror.
She tried to resist him, but her deep desire for him was too strong. Oh, if there was only a way to make things right. She would do anything. She did not want to let go. She wouldn't let go. She held onto the remaining shreds of hope that she had. She wished she could turn back time to happier days. Oh, how she wished with all of her broken heart. Why? She asked herself. Why did things go so wrong? What lead them all to this moment? Deep down she knew the answer.
He was a man who never knew love or compassion. His life had been nothing but cruelty and sorrow. He was a disfigured monster, the contempt of the world, and they made him pay for it. And when love finally came to him, it drove him mad. Her poor Erik, her poor angel. Angel. That's when it all began.
In Christine he found a kindred spirit. She was alone and empty inside. He wanted to be loved, to mean something to someone. She wanted an angel of music. He saw his opportunity and he took it. In her innocent mind he thrived and devoted himself to her. He could guide and protect her and share his genius with her. He molded her into his masterpiece, his obsession. She had never been happier in her life. And now at this moment she had never felt more sorrow and pain, not since the death of her father.
She was soon brought out of her thought by the sound of someone entering the chapel. She turned to find Raoul standing in the doorway. He had a concerned look on his face, his body tired and wounded. The white shirt that he wore was soaked in blood.
She turned from him and sighed in anguish. She felt fear and remorse. He could have been killed. And it would have been her fault. She dragged him into this mess, which it now was, a horrible, tragic mess. She should have told him the truth before things went too far. She loved him, but not enough to make a future with him.
His world was different. It was a privileged and noble world, but it was a confining one as well. She grew up in an environment where life was art, where people loved and fought passionately, where expression and creativity were without limits. She would never be happy in Raoul's society. She would be told what to do and when to do it. It was the price of wealth she supposed. But it would cost her everything that money couldn't buy. She would feel like a bird in a gilded cage, never allowed to spread her wings.
Perhaps if she were in love with him it would have been worth it. It would make things more bearable. Poor Raoul. He was worthy of her love. He was a good man. But he was not Erik. There was no music when she is with him. His kisses were warm and tender, but they lacked the passion that she craved. They always left her unfulfilled and wanting more. Erik could set her a flame with just one look or just by saying her name. He could touch her in ways that Raoul never could.
She knew that he was in love with her. He proved that this morning by fighting off the man that truly meant everything to her. She felt guilt. She was frightened for Erik, fearing that the man who was her fiancé would kill him. She thought of the anger and hurt in Erik's eyes. She remembered the fury as he lashed out at Raoul, desperately trying to vanquish him from their lives. Even now as Raoul stood mere feet from her, bloodied and battered, her thoughts were only of Erik.
Raoul walked towards her with love and concern in his eyes. What had this morning's events done to her? he wondered. She seemed so small and helpless kneeling on the cold floor. "Are you alright, Christine?"
She sighed and her body stiffened as she felt his hands on her shoulders. He sat next to her and gently touched her face and turned her towards him.
"I'm so sorry, Little Lotte. I know this is very painful for you. But now can you see what a dangerous man he is? What he is capable of? He must be stopped once and for all if we are ever to move on with our lives. I know you feel compassion for him. In a strange way I even feel pity for the poor devil. But he will haunt us until we're dead if we do not do something now. I need your help, Christine. Will you do this for me?"
Tears were now streaming down her face. She felt the weight of Raoul's words. She knew he was right. But she could not bring herself to surrender all hope. If she could not be with Erik, she wanted him to be spared. She could not bring herself to betray him.
"Raoul, I understand what you are saying. Do you realize what you are asking me to do? You are asking me to betray the man who has nurtured and cared for me all these years, the one who has been the inspiration for my voice, the one who made it possible for us to be reunited. I can't. Please don't ask me to do this."
"I am asking you to help me bring to justice a liar and a murderer. Everything that he has ever told you is a lie. Your whole relationship was based on a lie, Christine." He couldn't understand why she did not see that.
"I can't do it. It scares me. Please don't make me do this." She began to sob. She did not believe that everything that she shared with Erik was a lie. They were truly happy at one time. He taught her and believed in her. He comforted her in her sorrows and shared in her joys. He lived only for her. He denied her nothing.
It was true that there was so much that she did not know about him. There were things that he did not he tell her. She only knew that his life had been hell and she wanted to give him Heaven. "Please don't put me through this ordeal by fire."
Raoul looked at her with compassion. He knew it would be difficult for Christine. He knew she would refuse. But he knew he had to convince her somehow. He wouldn't press her further at the moment. Knowing this morning's events were still fresh in her mind. He would let her rest and calm down and then he would approach her once more.
"I'm sorry, dearest. I won't say anything further. You need to rest. I will walk you back to Madam Giry's room. I don't want you alone. I don't really like the idea of you staying here anymore. It is not safe."
He was very uncomfortable with Christine staying at the opera house. He didn't like the idea of her staying with Madam Giry either. He didn't think he could really trust her because of her association with the wretch. There was no telling when he would attempt to see Christine again.
He wanted to make arrangements to have her stay somewhere safe, away from the opera house. And he would do so as soon as he had the chance. But he needed to speak to the managers at once to plan their next step. He needed to come up with a plan to apprehend this so called phantom and he needed their cooperation. As soon as he left Christine with Madam Giry he made his way to the managers' office.
Of course upon seeing Raoul in the state he was in and not his usual pristine self was completely unnerving to already unnerved Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur Andre. He wasted no time in telling them what had happened. He also told them that he had an idea on how to "ensnare our clever friend" as he put it. But he would need everyone's full cooperation. They of course agreed at once. They would do anything to free themselves of this madman's outrageous demands and hefty salary.
As the meeting went on they came up with a plan that would include performing the Phantom's opera, 'Don Juan Triumphant' with Christine in the lead role. This would guarantee his being in attendance. They would also have the building under lock down with a full staff of arm police officers.
They went over every detail and left nothing over looked. It was full proof. It was sure to work. And, as they hoped, by the end of the evening the nightmare would be over. Little did they know that someone else was listening to their plan and he began to make plans for his own.
Erik stood under the floorboards of the managers office carefully listening to every detail of the Viscount's so-called full proof plan. He stood there in wonder. Haven't these fools learned by now that nothing goes on in this opera house without his knowing about it? He had to give them some credit for the effort he supposed.
He knew what he had to do. But he needed to see Christine first. He needed to explain is actions. He needed to somehow make her understand. All he kept thinking about was the look in her eyes, the fear and sadness that they held. He didn't mean for things to get so out of control. But he couldn't help himself. Whenever he saw the Viscount something inside him just snapped. All he could see was that arrogant boy taking Christine away from him.
Every since that boy came into their lives everything changed. They used to be so happy. She was his angel and he was hers. Why did that boy have to come and ruin everything? Raoul was rich, handsome, and worldly. He could have had any woman he wanted. Why did he have to want Christine, my Christine? He thought bitterly.
Had it not been for his face, Erik could have openly courted Christine the way she deserved to be. Raoul would not have stood a chance. Had it not been for his face, Erik could have had the world in the palm of his hand and he would have gladly given it to all to her. All he dreamed and hoped for was now gone. The boy had seen to that. He just needed to see her one more time. He turned and stalked back into the dark passages of the opera house and headed for Madam Giry's room.
Christine tried to rest. She was glad that there were no rehearsals today. She was too tired and her mind was in chaos. Madam Giry left her alone to try and get some sleep. She knew she was supposed to be guarding Christine, but knew it would be useless. If Erik wanted to see Christine then nothing or no one would stop him.
Christine couldn't sleep. She thought about Erik, Raoul, and everything that had happened in her life up to this point. She thought about her childhood and the innocent friendship she shared with Raoul during those happy times by the sea. She thought about her father and everything he taught her. She remembered his promise to her. She remembered the day when his promise was finally fulfilled. The day the "angel of music" finally came to her. How happy and hopeful she was. The felt her soul come back to life. She regained something that she thought was lost and buried forever with her father. He brought music back to her and helped her achieve things she never dreamed possible. He made her spirit sore with the sound of his beautiful voice.
As time passed on she became more and more drawn to him. They shared a bond so deep that she could not imagine her life without him. He became everything to her. She fell hopelessly in love with him. It was an impossible love though. How could she ever expect an angel to share the same kind of love that she felt for him?
Then the day came that changed everything. It was the night of the gala. She sang for him and only him. If only he could be here in flesh and blood she had thought at the time. At that moment she wished he could sweep her up into his arms and truly share in their triumph.
But it wasn't her angel who came to her at that moment it was Raoul. And because of that reunion, her angel decided to come out from the shadows. He came to her not as an apparition, but as the man he truly was. When she discovered that her "angel" was no angel but indeed a man, she was not as disappointed as she probably should have been. It was more like relief she felt because she realized that he was real and that maybe they could be together.
She remembered when she first saw him. He looked nothing like she had imagined. Of course, she had always expected an actual angel, complete with halo and wings. This man was very tall, handsome, and distinguished, the picture of perfection. His hair was as dark as the night. And his eyes were like ice on fire. He was breathtaking. But there was the mask. Then she knew who he really was. She remembered all the stories that she heard. She never imagined that her angel and the feared phantom of the opera were one in the same.
But she didn't fear him at the time. He was none of the horrible things that were said about him. He was still her angel. And he took her to his world of music where he was king and he made her his queen. And she became lost in its splendor. She never imagined that darkness could be so beautiful. Don't fear the night, Christine. God created night as well as day. He told her.
She surrendered herself to it and her spirit soared. She felt free and wanted to know everything about this amazing man whom she loved. She wanted no secrets between them. The mask signified that. Whatever lied beneath it did not matter to her. She wanted to prove that to him. So she removed it and the dream was shattered. Her angel became a demon right before her eyes. His anger and his fury made her blood run cold.
She never heard a voice so full of rage sound so beautiful. She never saw eyes that burned with so much anger express so much of love. The anger subsided into complete despair. He had wanted to be perfect for her and now he could never be. What had she done? She was remorseful and there was nothing she could do to take it back. He was never the same after that. His love and devotion for her were without question. But he became more possessive and jealous. He was quick tempered and distrusting. She loved him but she was becoming frightened of him. All she wanted was to love him and be loved by him forever. But his pride and temper drove her away.
She ran to the security of an old and familiar friend. Raoul. He had been there for her when she was at her most vulnerable moment. Even though she loved her angel, she fled to Raoul's warm embrace. No matter how she tried to find forgetfulness in Raoul's arms, she could not. She shared a bond with Erik that could never be broken. Her heart and her soul belonged to him. Even though she was now engaged to Raoul, she would always belong to Erik.
She didn't know what to do. She could not have foreseen the consequences of her actions. In trying to deny her true feelings she only made things worse, much worse. Erik was devastated when Christine left him. In a fit of jealous rage, he killed Joseph Buquet, a scene shifter. She could not believe that he was capable of such a thing as murder. Then there were his actions at the cemetery and she didn't know what to believe anymore. Why, Erik, why?
Okay let me have it. This is my first fan fic! Please review and let me know what you think.