Summary: Hermione sits on the side watching Ginny, remembering and fantasizing.

Warning: Okay kiddies this is where I tell you there is a little slash in this so it is your decision to go back or read on. Please don't send me anything telling me how perverted or disgusting I am. Trust me I already know.

Rating: PG-13 for the possibility of sex but it's not bad. It could be worse let me tell you...

Chp. One: Surveillance and Recollection

She sits before the fire book in hand and her new cat at her feet. The calico takes to her owner as if no one else exists. I see that slender beautiful hand reach out and stroke the soft fur. How I want to reach out my own hand and take hers. But enough lines have been crossed in my endeavor to become closer to her.

We spent the summer together and I stayed in her room at her house and she in mine at my house. It tortured me to be that close to her and unable to touch her. So close but yet so far.

I came to understand my feelings. Feelings that are accepted in the wizarding world but looked down upon in the muggle one. In my world. The world I grew up in. Ah the cruelness of our society. The cruelness done to my heart.

In the nights that I watched her sleep I knew that I felt something more than physical attraction. I know her so well and that's why it's cruel. Because I know where her heart lies. It lies in the one of emerald eyes. Harry. My best friend.

I want to cry and scream and leave them all together when I think of that moment last Christmas when that joke was played on Ginny. A joke that hurt me, because no one knew. The twins enchanted the mistletoe. Enchanted it so that it would lock those under it together until the kiss was complete. How were they to know it was magicked? No one was told. It was suppose to be hysterical when Harry and Ginny were caught beneath it. It was suppose to be funny but it broke my heart to see him wrap his arms around her and kiss her. Kiss her deeply. Kiss her like I wanted to.

When it was over her skin was flushed and her eyes were bright. Bright because she got the best Christmas gift she could hope for. But it faded and was replaced with concern when she saw the wetness in my eyes. "What's wrong?" she had asked. I had told her I was fine and waved her away. I couldn't look at her without the previous scene flickering through my mind.

Ron knew me better than that and when he saw me leave the Christmas party, he cornered me and demanded to know what was wrong. I couldn't tell him. Tell him that I was in love with his sister and she just kissed my best friend? No. I couldn't say anything. Tears just leaked from my eyes and I dissolved into sobs. He held me close but his eyes still held confusion in them when I drew away. He had said my name but I barely heard it as more tears leaked from my eyes and I turned up the steps to the girls' dormitories.

I couldn't look anyone straight in the eyes for days and I spent a majority of my time in the library. Not that it was unusual for me to be in the library, it was just unusual because we had no holiday homework.

When the holiday was over I skipped classes for the first time ever and I received a detention for it. That was served two days later with Hagrid.

The detention was suppose to have been spent cleaning out the paddocks and pens of the magical creatures but somehow we never got around to that. The moment he saw me he knew that something was wrong. The time we had spent together third year had made us closer. And because of it he knew when I was upset.

The moment I had approached him and his shovel he had asked me what was wrong. The shovel was left outside and we had spent the next hour drinking tea and talking. I never gave him any names but somehow I think he knew who it was anyway. From that point on he knew that my heart didn't lie with Ron, like commonly thought, but with another. Another girl. He never laughed or scolded or anything like that, just smiled warmly and listened as I talked.

I felt better after that but I still had to face them. And with Hagrid's encouraging words, I did. I never said anything about the mistletoe. I just got back into my regular routine and returned to being myself. Return to watching her.

Ginny...

She is so beautiful. Almost glamorous beautiful. Almost. I don't think I would like her as much if she was glamorous beautiful like Cho Chang or Fleur Delacour. Then again it wouldn't matter much to me. She is graceful and beautiful to me either way and that's all that matters.

Under my vigilant eyes I see her. See her long slender fingers brush across her cat's fur. Watch as her silky hair comes loose when she shakes her head.

Stare with a longing looking in my eyes as a few ginger strands fall into her bright blue eyes. Eyes that make me drown. Drown in longing. Drown in thoses pools that are her eyes.

She stands and moves like dancer. Instilled and balanced. Sweet and calm. Dedicated and poised. Her fading robes billow about her feet as she claims her cat in her arms and turn to the dormitories. How I long to follow into that room. Follow to her bed. Watch as she undresses. Watch as she slips beneath the sheets. How I long to follow. Follow under the bedclothes. Wrap my arms around her small waist and feel the slope of her hip beneath my fingers. Touch her shoulders with feather light kisses brushing away the straps of her nightgown as I do it. Kiss her neck as she tilts it back allowing my access to it. Tasting her freckles that adorn her pale skin, which I'm sure taste of cinnamon. Then finally claim her lips as my own. Claim them as Harry had only months ago. Hear her moan my name.

My name. My head snaps up and my eyes fly up to meet hers as I hear her say it. "Are you alright?" Am I? I don't know. Will I be? I don't know. Want to help find out? No probably not. "Yeah I'm fine". Do I need mental help? Definitely.

"Well goodnight Hermione"

Authors Note: I know some people don't like the idea of lessie-ness. Particularly because it's Hermione, but oh well. There was a warning at the top and if you didn't read it tough shit. This one was done because a friend requested it. I liked it. It was a spur of the moment type of thing but that doesn't matter much...does it? I'm gonna try to continue this but I kinda got summer holiday homework to worry about (procrastinator that I am) so it might be a while. But anyway...

Disclaimer: This story contains characters, locations, and other random things created and/or owned by J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic, Inc., etc. Since no money is being made, no infringement is intended. Section 102(b) of the U.S. Copyright Act states that copyright protection does not extend to ideas, procedures, concepts, principles or discoveries, but the actual words used to express those things.