Weight of the World (Small in your Hands) Chapter 1, a fire emblem fanfic

There's a rush of movement and Alm feels Falchion go through Celica's stomach when he wakes up in a panic, cold sweat beading on his forehead.

It's just a dream.

Just...a dream.

The rocking of the ship lulls him into complacency, as does Celica's breathing from beside him. They're returning from Archanea, having stopped Forneus's schemes involving the construct...whatever it was. But, it still fell, and now, it's time to go back home.

Home.

Gods, Alm thinks (and isn't that a laugh), what is he going to do?

"Alm?" Celica wakes up briefly, but it's slurred, so it sounds more like "aarmm?"

"Go back to sleep, Celica. It's alright," Alm rubs her bare shoulder peeking from the blanket, but she pulls herself up to wrap herself around her beloved.

"Only with you," she mumbles and pulls them back down to the mattress.

"Were you dreaming again?" She asks before sleep overtakes them both, Alm's eyes wide open.

"Yeah."

"It's not...your fault," Celica yawns and presses her forehead into the crook of Alm's neck, breathing into his skin. "Just...be happy we're here. Together." Her right hand lays atop Alm's left, Brands touching and Alm falls asleep.

"Milord, please refer to Chancellor Mycen as such in the next council meeting, if you do not mind," Massena walks up behind Alm and Alm knows he's bowing as he speaks.

Yeah, calling Mycen "grandpa" or "grandpapa" probably isn't the right move in front of judgmental Rigelian nobles. But whatever. Thinking quickly, he writes on a piece of paper, the ink of the pen bleeding onto his hand. He stamps it firmly and brandishes it to Massena. The general reads aloud, "by...decree of Albein Rudolf the second, I induct...general Mycen into the royal house? Your highness - "

"Know he's my grandpa."

Celica laughs (she's not there but she knows,) but she knows he's right. That's what they're supposed to be doing - separating right from right, what's actually good and what's been done for centuries, following the gods.

A few months after returning from Archanea, letters start coming to Valentia. Word from continents like Jugdral and Archanea, letters direct from Emperors Hardin and Arvis themselves! Alm paces back and forth as he reads them to Celica as she sits in his bed (their bed, soon, hopefully).

"Listen to this, Celica. Hardin compliments our 'tact and bravery', and is eager to ally with in the future! And Emperor Arvis says that we should be proud of what we've done! Can you believe it?"

"You know how adorable you are when you act like this?" Celica has a twinkle in her eyes, and Alm flushes heavily.

With a shaky hand, Alm signs his letters and acts "Albein Rudolf, of Rigel." That's not him. That's not who he's going to be, once his wedding happens. He's content with a ring on her finger - the memento Berkut dropped (and isn't that a sad thought, but he banishes it quickly), but they both want more. He can't help himself, like how General Massena tells him he probably shouldn't call Chancellor Mycen "grandfather", or more embarrassingly, "grandpapa." So he passes a bill that makes Mycen his grandfather.

But things seem to be settling down, a bit. Jesse leads Dean, Saber and Kamui to start their own kingdom, "Freeman's Land". Alm promises aid if they need it and with Celica's help (she knows them better than he does), they establish trade with Rigel and Zofia, borders and leylines for the mages to route their magic. Silque eventually goes with them with Genny in tow, Nomah creates a church that has thousands of followers, and the knights join the army.

Faye goes back to Ram Village, and Mae and Boey are already expecting their first child. Kliff leaves for a land with no name, only leaving a letter behind. Tobin and Gray settle into the castle as Alm's guards, Clair hesitantly following. Clive and Mathilda move to Rigel and Delthea and Luthier scheme and plan their wedding (it's more Delthea who cackles at her plans, Luthier just looks annoyed). Sonya sends letters frequently from across the continent, and Celica smiles whenever she reads them. Atlas goes home, and things settle down.

Of course, it's a little uncomfortable in the castle. Tobin and Gray stop their jokes mid-sentence, and Gray and Clair's relationship stumbles in his presence.

"It's just me! I haven't changed!" Alm wants to yell, but he can't.

Alm's never really had an older brother or father figure before - it was just him, Mycen, and the other Ram villagers that flitted about with him. So when Conrad - senator Conrad, next in line for the Chancellor, Celica's older brother, wants to talk to him, Alm panics. A bit. Celica knows, though.

"He's just my older brother, dear," she places a comforting hand in his as he stands outside Conrad's office at Zofia castle. "Nothing to be afraid of."

"I've seen your brother take down necrodragons single-handedly."

"And you've defeated not one but two gods. It'll be fine."

Alm swallows and grips Celica's hand a bit tighter.

"Come in," Conrad's voice echoes through his door and Celica lets go and pushes Alm forward, a cat-like grin on her lips. "Good luck!"

"Ah, come in, your highness," Conrad doesn't look up as he works, gesturing for Alm to come closer. "Take a seat."

"Senator Conrad. Good to see you. How are you doing?"

"I'm well, thanks. But that's not the point of you being here. The point of you being here is thus - what are your intentions with my sister?"

Oh gods, he's getting the shovel talk. Like Mycen hadn't drilled courtly behavior into his head.

"Once we settle all state and international relations, I plan on marrying her. We're already engaged with a ring, you see."

"I see. Good. I imagine Sir Clive helped with the process?"

"A bit."

"Good. Good. I just want to make something clear," Conrad looks up into Alm's eyes and his tone drops into something serious and dark, his 'masked knight' persona if Alm had to guess. "If you hurt my sister, I won't be the one coming for you first. She will. And she will make it painful."

"I don't plan on it," Alm crosses his arms almost petulantly, like a child. "I love her with all my heart. I have no plans on breaking her heart."

Conrad smiles, and he has the same lines on his face Celica does. "That's good to know. Now, out. I have important matters to attend to."

Alm laughs and leaves Conrad's office, Celica slipping a hand through his arm as she leads him to her quarters.

Celica notices it first - she's always been the more observant of the two, she likes to quip. The refugees. They first come in from the west, from Jugdral, they say. A dark cult taking and killing children and all who resist. Then, they come from the east, from Archanea, they say. Emperor Hardin has gone mad and rebellion has sprung up. When Alm reads the second notice, Zeke tenses up and bows his head.

"I beg a leave of absence, your highness."

"Why? Is it because of what's happening in Archanea?"

"Yes...somewhat."

"Ah, I get it," Alm leans back in his chair. Like him, Zeke has a partner and companion in Tatiana, like he does with Celica. "How else am I going to learn things without you here?"

Zeke smiles wryly and secures his lance. "I'm sure you'll survive. After all, you're getting married soon, are you not?"

It happens at Clive and Mathilda's wedding. It's a lovely ceremony presided by Tatiana, and at the reception it's delightful. At the main table, Clive attempts to feed Mathilda wedding cake and gets it all over her face. The newlyweds laugh and Alm does too, from where he dances with Celica. The band is playing a piece he's never heard directly - only from Mycen humming or whistling - it's 'over the floral hills', a traditional wedding piece.

"What is it?" Celica smiles up at him. "Usually you're scowling when we dance. Because you're terrible at it." It's true, but it doesn't make it hurt less.

"Nah, just looking at Clive and Mathilda. I was witness to their battlefield flirting - it was gross. To see them happily married, well, it makes me happy as well."

"Well...good. Do you see us doing that soon?"

Alm leans down to whisper in her ear, "more than anything."

The two spin together for a few minutes more, and as the band finishes the song, a page comes up to the couple.

"I have a message for you, your highness."

Alm glares so hard that Celica could swear the page could catch on fire.

"What is it?" He snaps and walks arm-in-arm with Celica off the dance floor, the page trailing behind.

"We have a massive influx of refugees heading towards our ports. They are estimated to arrive in the next day or two."

Gods above.

Word is...not good. The refugees from Jugdral talk more about these child hunts and the Loptyrian cults, and a 'Scion of Light' rising up to combat them. The refugees from Archanea talk about the total chaos that has engulfed the continent, how Emperor Hardin has gone mad. Alm pens quick letters to both Arvis and Hardin, asking if he can send supplies, troops, anything.

The refugees arrive and further wedding plans are pushed back, too much work to do. With the gods gone the land continues to grow, but with several hundred (the most recent report says over a thousand now), they struggle to find food and shelter for everyone. Lukas suggests using the old Deliverance headquarters and refugees start moving there, and soon past dungeons are being cleared out and housing refugees.

In the meantime, Celica and Tatiana don't become friends...they become people who drink tea together and talk about their lives. It's quite sweet to see, and Alm bristles as nobles protest, asking for a replacement for General Zeke. Alm bites his tongue and bides his time.

Finally, after more than a year of sending letters and dealing with citizenship, Zeke returns with news of the war in Archanea's end, and a letter from Emperor Seliph states that they are doing well. It's accompanied by a King Leif of Thracia and his bride, Nanna. Alm is more than proud to present Zeke back to the dismissive nobles, certain that Tatiana can patch him up. Alm and Leif seem to get along fine, sharing war stories quickly as Celica coos over Nanna's baby daughter.

"Look at her cute little eyes and toes!" Celica gushes as the baby grabs her finger. It's a strong grip, and when Celica says so, Nanna laughs.

"Of course it is! She's got Hezul's blood in her."

Now, Celica knows about the Jugdrali gods and bloodlines. There were books from all over the world in Novis Priory, after all.

"So," Nanna says conspiratorially, "when's the baby?"

Celica blushes, "We haven't gotten married yet! Let alone thinking about a baby."

"Well," Nanna winks, "if you need any tips on the sex - "

"Nope. Stopping you right there."

"Your highness, my name is King Leif of Thracia. I bring good tidings from Jugdral." Leif sweeps into Alm's study, having left Nanna with Celica.

"Ah, King Lief! I am...Emperor Albein Rudolf, but please, call me Alm."

"Alm? That's a good name." Leef sits on the chair opposite Alm, and almost carelessly adjusts the sword on his belt. Alm isn't a moron and can tell it's a magic weapon, almost like a thunder sword, but not.

"As is yours. What bring you here? I read the letter, but why come here?" Alm leans forward so his elbows rest on his desk, and he feels the heavy weight of his crown.

"Emperor Seliph wants to expand our trade and boundaries, create friendships across waters. We've both noticed it in our wars; friends make us stronger. How does that song go? 'Together we ride'?"

Alm joins in with Leif as they hum the first few bars, apparently recognizable across the globe. Alm notes Leif has a trill to his letters, and when a messenger comes in and speaks what must be Thracian to his lord, Alm recognizes that must be the accent.

"Is something the matter?" Alm inquires.

"It's nothing. Isabelle must be acting up again, so Nanna needs me. One moment, my lord."

"I insist, call me Alm."

"Only if you call me Leif," the Thracian has an unmistakeable grin on his face, untempered by the two wars he's lead.

Finally, after Tatiana nearly breaks her staff over her love's head a few times and Zeke is all patched up, he finally discusses what happened.

"Were you able to help?" Alm broaches. He and Celica are arm-in-arm across from the general as he peers into a mug and drains it in one go.

"...In a sense. Let me start from the beginning. It involves a man named Camus, a woman named Nyna, and a treasure we called the 'Fire Emblem'."

And so Zeke begins his tale, spanning years and years. Eventually, Zeke wraps up his story, and Alm and Celica tremble. It's a tale of sorrow and despair, yet also of hope. It is not a tale of fighting the gods and winning, but of yielding to their decree, and Alm's blood burns hot and cold at the same time. But there is love, between Marth and Caeda, of the missed kindness of Camus and Nyna, Hardin's twisted obsession that lead to his demise.

Alm thinks to himself about what he's done, who he has killed. Why? To end the reign of the gods? His war - Valentia's war - did exactly what Rudolf wanted, when he gave Alm away all those years ago, and when Alm saw it through Mila's Turnwheel. It brought heroes into the world and cleansed and healed, yet when Zeke talks about King Marth and Caeda and the three pegasus knights who fought with Celica, his heart breaks.

"But don't worry, your highness."

Alm looks up to his general, and he smiles up above Alm. He turns, and there is Tatiana, stepping forward to wrap an arm around Zeke's waist. He presses a gentle kiss to the crown of her head and she laughs that bright sunshine laugh.

"You don't need to change. Just be you, Alm."

It's a day like any other - maybe two years after Alm learned the truth of his heritage. On that day, the wedding still an invisible day in the sometime future, Celica leaves a note near Alm's lunch. He reads swiftly and stands abruptly, chair going back a foot.

"Your highness?" A nearby servant asks, "is the food not to your liking?"

"It's fine, Alec," Alm secures his sword and crown, and dashes out, "just an emergency!"

When he gets to his room, Celica is there, with a smile.

"You might want to sit down, Alm."

"What? Why?"

"I'm pregnant. It's yours."

Alm feels his brand pulse with his heartbeat and blood rushes to his ears.

He's...going to be a father?

"And what if he - "

"Or she,"

"Or she, thank you, is just like me? I was a terrible child! I don't know how to father anyone! My own was...what if turn into my father?"

"Alm." Celica snaps him out of his focus, and he turns to look at her.

"It's going to be fine. But at least we can have the wedding soon."

He smiles, and he wonders what he ever could have done without her.

"I always thought one day I'd be able to do this," Mycen says, still in his armor. He and Celica are arm-in-arm, a small bump rounding Celica's stomach. She's resplendent in a pure white dress; it is her wedding, after all. In the distance she can see Alm in his suit with Nomah at the altar, Tobin and Gray as his best men. In the stands are all their friends and allies; ambassadors from Freeman's Land, all the knights in the regiments, everyone. Delthea is a bit old to be the flower girl, but what can they do? Boey and Mae's children are too young, only a year or two old. They're here as well, since Mae is Celica's maid of honor, who is standing at the altar across from Tobin and Gray.

"I've always wanted to give you away, my dear. And now I can." Mycen discretely rubs at his eye, and he can tell Celica saw from the way her lips quirk up.

"Thank you...grandfather." And then the music starts up, and they are walking down the aisle, as everyone oohs and aahs. Celica doesn't know if it takes a year or a second to reach the altar and Mycen trails away she ascends it. Alm's speechless and his jaw is on the floor, Gray and Tobin nudge each other, and Mae is already on the verge of tears.

"Welcome," Nomah's voice booms as Celica and Alm face each other. 'You look stunning,' Alm mouths, and Celica beams.

"Welcome, everyone. We are gathered here today in matrimony to wed and crown our new sovereigns of One Kingdom - Alm and Celica."

That's right, Alm thinks. He's not going to be King Albein Rudolf et cetera et cetera of Valentia - he will be King Alm I. Neither Alm nor Celica are paying attention until Nomah says it's time to say the vows, and Alm starts.

"Celica, we've known each other since we were six or seven, and since then I've always thought of you. I've been in love with you for years, and here we are. I will dedicate my entire life and heart to you and only you, if you would accept it. I vow to never leave you, in sickness and in health, and to always be there for you. And no matter what happens, I promise to always stay by your side."

"Thank you. Celica?" Nomah has a light in his eyes that's always been there, Celica knows. But today, it seems a bit brighter. Hearing Mae let out a short sniffle, Celica starts.

"Alm...we've been through a lot. I couldn't tell you how hurt I was when we finally met after seven years and yelled at you. It broke my heart. But even through that, and through everything we've done, we've been together. I've been in love with you since the day I saw you, and my heart is yours - if you say yes." Alm is now tearing up, and he squeezes their linked hands harder.

"So I vow to love you and cherish you for all my days. Now and forever."

"Thank you," Nomah bows and his staff thuds against the ground. "Some questions. Albein Alm Rudolf - do you take Anthiese Lima as your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to cherish and protect her for all your days, in sickness and in health?"

"I do."

"And you, Anthiese Lima - do you take Albein Alm Rudolf as your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to cherish and protect him for all your days, in sickness and in health? I know you can protect him. Your magic is quite potent." The congregation chuckles and Celica does too, with a small hiccup.

"I do."

"Now, we have some paperwork to fill out - joy of joys," the congregation laughs at this. "If I could have the best men and maid of honor sign the document."

Tobin and Gray have a short glaring contest before Gray lets Tobin sign first, and Mae mouths 'I'm so proud' at Celica, who feels a tear roll down the apple of her cheek.

"The rings, please," Nomah gestures, and Mae and Tobin give them to the priest. He slides them onto Alm and Celica's fingers, and they link hands again. "Now, would you please sign the document, and accept your crown as ruler of Valentia?" Alm lets go with one hand and shakily signs the document, passing the quill to Celica as tears run down her face. They're honestly both crying. They then get to their knees, and Nomah places crowns on their heads, and bids them to rise.

"I am more than proud to crown you as King Alm I and Queen Celica of the One Kingdom. Alm - you may kiss the bride."

He brushes the veil away from Celica's face, wipes the salty tear-tracks with the pad of his thumb, and smiles.

And then they kiss. Celica wraps her arms around Alm's neck like they're a puzzle piece fitting together, and Alm becomes bold, dipping her back. Eventually they come up for air and press their foreheads together, laughing.

They've done it.

"I honestly can't believe it."

It's the reception, and Alm is still terrible at dancing.

"Believe what, Alm?"

"That we're married. That now I can do this," he bends down to kiss her on the mouth solidly as they spin, "whenever I want."

"Cheeky, hmm?"

"And maybe a little protective. After all, I've got two people I need to protect."

"Oh, Alm. Have you thought of names?"

"Isn't that more your responsibility?"

"Well, you should have an input."

"Hmm. Well, I don't want to keep the name 'Rudolf' in the line. But if it's the boy I was thinking...Mycen."

"I like it. And if it's a girl?"

"What about Eve? Back in Ram Village, Eve was a common name that indicated a great future."

"I think it's a lovely name."

And so it is. And Tobin and Gray settle in, and Gray and Clair iron out their relationship, and Zeke and Tatiana are back together, and everything seems...right. Right.

Waking up in the morning as a married couple is a lot different than as an unmarried couple. Only last time it was whispered words and either Alm or Celica sneaking back to their guest rooms as dawn breaks, a sneaky kiss before court. Now, it's sour heat and sunlight through the blinds, muttered demands for more blanket. Waking up holding hands and legs entwined in a braid. Aside from the morning breath Celica smells how she always does, like holy fire and mint, her light red hair getting everywhere. The comforter feels as light as cloud as Alm dozes in and out of sleep, Celica a comfortable presence at his side.

He wakes up later to feel a hand card through his hair, his head in Celica's lap.

"Morning," Alm mumbles as he pulls her hand down to kiss her palm, right on her Brand.

"Morning, Alm. Sleep well?"

"Always with you," Alm clambers up to capture her lips in a kiss, slowly and leisurely. His hands knot in her hair and he deepens the kiss, Celica sighing. Suddenly she breaks away and gasps.

"What is it?"

She smiles, and her eyes glow. "Someone's saying hello."

Alm's eyes go wide and he slides down to place an ear to Celica's belly, where he feels someone thump against the wall.

"Hey there, son."

"Daughter."

"Daughter?"

"One thousand years of daughters, and the chain isn't going to break."

"Why'd you let me think it might be a boy?"

Celica lifts a hand to cover her mouth as she laughs a small chuckle.

"Then hello, darling daughter," and a tear escapes Alm's eye.

The last Alm saw of his wife was a few hours ago when she was ushered behind doors with the clerics. Her water had just broken, and luckily the walls were thick enough that he couldn't hear her screams. If he did, he'd charge in there.

"Your highness." Alm turns and Clive is there, sitting down next to him outside.

"Sir Clive. Good to see you. What brings you here?"

"Just here to see an old friend. Was considering going down to the old Tower of Duma to lay a wreath for Fernand. It was hard for me when Mathilda gave birth to our son, and I'm here to support you if you need it."

"Thank you."

The two men sit in silence until a nursemaid opens the door, a tired but happy smile on her face.

"The queen has given birth to a healthy baby girl that will be called Eve. Her highness asked to see you, your highness."

Clive pats Alm on the back, "Congratulations, Alm. You're a father. Best of luck."

Alm stands up and gestures for the nursemaid to lead the way, which she does.

"Hey, Celica."

"Alm. Would you like to meet our daughter?" There in Celica's arms is a small bundle of blanket, but he can see a small mop of blue-green hair. He walks over to sit in the chair next to the bed, reaching a finger out to his daughter. She instinctively reaches out and grabs for it, surprising him with her speed and strength.

"Seems she got her father's strength."

"And without a doubt her mother's kindness and magic."

They sit in silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet.

"Would you like to hold her?" Celica extends the blanket towards him, but he panics and raises his hands.

"I...I shouldn't. What if I drop her?"

Celica laughs, "don't be silly, Alm. Here, like this, supporting the head and neck."

Within seconds he is holding onto his daughter, and it feels like he's holding the weight of the world. Eve reaches out with both hands, and there on the top of both hands are Mila's and Duma's brands; on her right and left hands respectively.

"Hello, Eve," Alm stutters, unnatural for him. He's conquered gods and monsters, yet is brought low by his daughter. "I'm your father, and it's so very nice to meet you."

Eventually she begins to cry, and Alm hands her back over to her mother.

He wonders how his father could do it - base all his plans on a small bundle of blanket and hair, so sure that a tiny mark on a hand would ensure the continent's fate. His father was mad, probably. Almost as much as Hardin was, presumably. But then he looks up from his doldrums and Celica is smiling at him, so full of hope and happiness and life. She understands. Always has. Always will.

And in a land where people can build their own destinies free of gods or fate, a loving couple coo over their newborn child, a symbol of life and hope for the world.