Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, Flash or anything else you may recognize
Just an idea I have had in my head for a while. A crack fic. I hope you enjoy.
"Does anyone have just cause why these two should not be married?" the minister asked everyone who were attending the wedding of Barry Allen and Iris West, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I am not really someone who holds my peace", a man in a red and black suit with a sword on his back said as he arrived, "So I must say, I have a lot of just causes."
"Who the hell are you?" Oliver Queen asked him as he started fingering his device which could turn into a bow.
"The name's Wade Wilson", the man said, "But you can call me Deadpool. And I must say, I hate what CW has done to you in this season, Oliver."
Oliver looked at him in confusion.
"I'm sorry, who invited you?" Barry asked him.
"I invited myself", Wade said, "Plus, with all my badassery, every place is open to me. But like I said, I have some just causes."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Iris West asked him angrily.
"Sir, are you sure you're all right?" Kara Danvers asked him.
"If these two get married, I won't be", Wade said bluntly before turning to look at everyone, "First of all, I am a big fan of their relationship in the comics. But the Arrowverse has made it really disgusting."
Turning to Joe West, he asked, "And how the hell can you even support it? It doesn't make any sense."
Before Joe could respond, Wade said to everyone, "After the impossible tragedy our poor Barry faced which shaped him into the man he will become, he was adopted by Joe West and Iris West was his foster sister. In Season 1, they have even referred to each other as brother and sister numerous times. Now let that sink in."
Everyone's jaws were now wide open as they realized the depths of Wade's words.
Turning to Barry and Joe, he then said, "And it destroys the characters of both of you. Barry, you're a great, helpful hero. But she makes you look like some stalker. You sabotaged your own relationships with Linda and Patty to be with her."
Barry sighed and finally admitted the one thing he had never admitted, even to himself, "Yeah. You're right. I did that."
"What?" a shocked Joe West asked him.
"Don't act all surprised, old man", Wade said, "You are supposed to be a perfect father figure. Yet you support incest between your own kids?"
Everyone in the church could be heard saying "Ewwwwwww."
Turning to Iris, he then said, "And you, Iris West, are the biggest bitch ever know to television."
"Hey! You can't talk to my daughter like that", Joe said angrily.
"Your daughter has made the lives of every fan of this show miserable", Wade said, "I mean, come on, "We are the Flash?" LOL."
Iris tried to say, "It was just an exp-"
"Oliver", Wade said as he turned to him, "How would you feel if Felicity said to you, "We are the Green Arrow?""
"Ugh", Oliver said in a disgusted tone, "Sounds really bad."
"Point proven", Wade said as he turned back to Iris, "And by the way, breaking up with him right after Wally was trapped and he was beaten by Savitar by showing off you ringless finger? Dick move, Iris."
As Iris looked down in shame, Wade said, "And you also tried to sabotage his relationship with Linda, didn't you?"
"What?" Joe asked Iris, "You did that?"
"I never thought you could be worse than Blondie over there", Wade said as he pointed at Felicity who looked offended, "But you have proven me horribly wrong. And your WestAllen is so bad that Olicity looks like an epic love story. And if a romance makes a romance made by Marc Guggenheim look good, then that romance really is a new level of crap."
"Oh God!" Barry muttered to himself.
"And you", Wade said as he pointed to the minister, "You're America's Greatest Hero. I didn't expect you to support this pairing. I am disappointed."
"I'm sorry", the minister said to Wade, "I have failed this country."
"You're right", Barry said to Wade, "This wedding shouldn't happen."
"Yeah" Joe said, "You have raised very good points."
Iris tried to say, "But-"
"No", the minister said, "Wade Wilson is right."
A chorus of "Aye" echoed in the church.
That moment, someone was heard saying, "Are you done, clown?"
Everyone turned to look at a flying woman and an archer wearing masks. With them were people wearing Nazi uniforms.
"Nazis?" Oliver muttered as he looked at them.
"I hate Nazis", Oliver, Barry and Kara said simultaneously.
"Hey, Nazis", Wade said to them, "You were all such a pathetic disappointment in this crossover. I mean, you don't even behave like Nazis."
"We will show you how we behave", Dark Arrow said as he notched an arrow.
"You can't do a thing", Wade said and everyone looked at him in confusion, "You see, I didn't come here alone. There is another person here. Someone admired, feared and respected by all. I begged him to come with me. He refused. So I told him something that has made him really pissed at you all."
"What are you talking about, clown?" Overgirl asked in an annoyed tone.
Suddenly, a figure crashed from the roof of the church and landed next to Wade, forming a crater where it had landed.
The figure straightened, revealing himself to be a green-shirted youth, with maroon pants and blonde hair and a rough goatee of the same shade.
"This can go two ways, punk", the man declared to Dark Arrow with a glare, "One, you walk away. Two, I walk on your face."
Mocking laughter echoed in the church at the youth's declaration.
"YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA!" Wade screamed, making them stop laughing, "You are no match for his power."
"Now", the man said as he walked towards the Earth-X villains, "Where is Scooby?"
"Who the hell is Scooby?" Overgirl asked in a puzzled tone.
Suddenly, all the Nazis were vaporized. Dark Arrow, Overgirl and Prometheus looked around in confusion.
"How?" Overgirl asked in shock.
"His mere presence is enough to vaporize any mortals", Wade said, "But he focused it on your people."
As Prometheus rushed the youth, he said with a smirk, "Your choice."
The youth grabbed his sword and shattered it before blocking a punch and throwing him to the other side of the church. Prometheus crashed through the wall and died.
Dark Arrow then rushed him. He fired two arrows. To everyone's shock, when the arrows neared him, they turned the other way and flew off on their own accord. Dark Arrow continued rushing him.
The youth flipped and kicked Dark Arrow so hard on the chin that his head detached from the body and flew right through the roof, shattering it in the process.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Overgirl wailed in despair.
"This wasn't even 0.0001% of my power", the youth declared to everyone around him.
"You will pay for this!" Overgirl said angrily.
She flew towards him at superspeed with a punch.
Next moment, the youth blocked her punch. She tried to free her fist from his grip but failed.
"Heh. Not bad", the youth said, "You made me use 10% of my power."
He then punched her away. She fired her heat vision but he slowly disappeared to avoid it, though his afterimage was still clear. He then tapped Overgirl on the shoulder from behind and then kicked her away.
Roaring with rage, Overgirl got back up and said, "It's time to end this!"
"Fair enough", the youth said as he shimmered a slight blue-grey color.
"He is in a merciful mood today as he let you live this long", Wade told Overgirl.
Overgirl charged but the youth punched her so hard in the chest that she died while frozen in unadulterated fear.
Everyone else just watched in awe at the spectacle.
"Well, cast of the Arrowverse", Wade said, "You have just witnessed the power of Shaggy Rogers. Be thankful that your worthless selves got the rare opportunity to experience 10% of his power."
Shaggy laughed in zoinks at the fact that Wade considered his power finite.
But when he stopped laughing and looked around, Wade was gone.
"Where the hell did that annoying merc go?" Shaggy asked everyone around him.
"Oh Great Shaggy Rogers!" Oliver Queen said as him, Barry, Kara and the rest of the Arrowverse kneeled in front of him with awe, "He said he lied about them kidnapping Scooby Doo."
"You have shown me what the 'S' on my suit stands for", Kara said, "Thank you for that. I owe you."
"Looks like Wade wants to experience my power", Shaggy said before disappearing, leaving the entire Arrowverse in awe at his power.
Originally, this was just meant to be Wade interrupting the WestAllen wedding and then stopping it. Then I thought about him using kryptonite to defeat Overgirl and everyone else.
But after the recent memes on Shaggy Rogers, I couldn't resist putting him in here.
I hope I captured Wade's humor properly. But there is no way to capture the power of Shaggy Rogers.
Please review. I always appreciate your feedback.
Until next time.
Aragorn II Elessar.