A/N: I've had Pitterpat by Erin McCarley on repeat for some time now and this idea hit me. Try reading it and if you like it, leave a review and continue reading :). If you don't, I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: I'm afraid I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters.

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Pain Takes My Heart's Place

Chapter One

The longest shift of Meredith's life had finally reached its end. Of course Meredith loved her job and the people she worked with, but sometimes… Sometimes, she just wanted to leave the hospital and spend time with her Black Labrador, her fiancé, and a nice, comfortable outfit. She took one last glance at the large hospital behind her and let out a sigh before she continued walking toward her car.

The rain continued to fall, so Meredith couldn't help but be grateful for the fact that she decided to park close to the Mount Sinai Medical Center early that morning. She eventually found herself situated in the driver's seat and then started the car, before she shifted the car into gear and pulled out of her parking space.

Dug the moon into the ground,
Turn this bedroom upside-down tonight.
I took my faith and I breathed it out,
Walked right through a cloud of flashing lights,
Bright light.

For whatever reason, Meredith found that the fall of the rain and the constant sound of the windshield wipers relaxed her, so she didn't bother turning on the radio. She allowed thoughts to rush her mind and simply enjoyed the rain – a rainy day in New York, she loved it. Meredith never really cared for rain or thunderstorms when she lived in Boston, but the move to New York changed many things about her, for the better, and that included her love of the rain.

After a short time, the black and speedy car Meredith drove pulled up in front of her Brownstone home, and she parallel parked said car in front of it. She reached for her bags while still in the car so she wouldn't have to mess around with them while she stood getting drenched in the rain. Meredith let out a deep breath before she opened the car door and stepped out of the car, taking the blows from the rain.

Pain takes my heart's place.
The love we made, we can't erase it.
Don't want to face it.

The door to her and her fiancé's home stood unlocked which did worry Meredith a little bit. Mark's car stayed parked next to hers, though, so she knew that he was in their place somewhere. She dropped her bags and took off her coat, setting them in their designated places, still without any word from Mark. She figured he was taking a shower or doing something else so she brushed it off and headed over toward the kitchen counter, deciding to go through the mail.

With the mail grasped in one of her tiny hands, Meredith turned from the counter to sit at the kitchen table. That happened, of course, after she made herself a cup of decaffeinated coffee. It took her a few minutes or so to glance over the mail and she decided that she should at least see what Mark was doing. So, she began her trek up the stairs with her coffee in one hand.

Pitterpat, the angel on my shoulder is haunting me tonight.
Tick-tock, the clock is getting louder, ready for me to decide.

That's when she saw the black stiletto on the ground that most definitely did not belong to her. The stiletto looked familiar though, and Meredith slowed her stroll to her and Mark's bedroom; nausea started to overcome her. The stiletto belonged to Addison, that she knew, but she never wore shoes in Meredith's home. They were best friends; Meredith knew her habits.

Meredith arrived in front of her bedroom door and hesitated a moment before she reached for the door knob and opened the door. She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth slightly agape, when she saw Addison newly showered and in Meredith's robe, on her bed. But there could have been a reason for that maybe, so Meredith relaxed the slightest bit. Until her fiancé stepped out of the connected bathroom, newly showered and in his robe as well.

I've lost my sense of right and wrong,
When justified, my soul to carry on.
I feel so damn good to write off the rules,
but when a new day breaks, I'm left a fool.
I'm such a fool.

After a few glances around her room, Meredith felt tears sting her eyes and the shocked and dumbfounded look on Mark's face only seemed to make matters worse. She sent Mark a glance that said so much and so little at the same time – How could you? Why would you? With her? … It's over. So over. Meredith dropped her mug of coffee and left the room as quickly as she could. Her vision blurred with tears but she couldn't stop walking. Not then, not ever. Mark had promised her a lifetime and there he was, with her best friend. She couldn't handle that.

Meredith finally made it down the stairs and then halfway slid on her coat, grabbed her bags, and grabbed her dog, too. She knew she was leaving New York and heading toward the airport. It was time to leave New York and leave everything that had just happened behind. Once in the car, and her well trained Black Lab seated comfortably in the passenger seat next to her, she drove off without taking a single glance back at her—Mark's Brownstone, where he stood on the stairs and watched her drive off with tears stinging his own eyes.

Pain takes my heart's place,
Your sweet, sweet love,
I can taste it,
But still can't face it.

She reached over and gently began to pet Molly, her dog that Mark named, and tried to keep her cool and ensure the dog that everything was going to be fine. Or maybe Meredith was trying to ensure herself. The tears continued to roll down her cheeks... The sobs wracked her body. Gasp. No air. I can't breathe. She just wanted the images to stop, that's all. The constant replay needed to stop. Pause, at least. Meredith figured that was not asking for much considering all that had happened – she found it amazing how such little time could change so much. One second. One moment. Everything she knew... Gone. Because I'm not Addison Montgomery.

Her eyes fell on her engagement ring and another sob wracked her tiny body. Gasp. Choking. Breathe. Blink. Once. Twice. She couldn't bring herself to take off the ring. They had already spent so much time together; three Christmases, three New Years, three Thanksgivings, three of Meredith's birthdays, three of Mark's. She couldn't simply throw that away, not even after what had happened. The worst of it seemed to be the fact that their wedding date was only a month and a half away, and Meredith thought she was done.

Pitterpat, the angel on my shoulder is haunting me tonight.
Tick-tock, the clock is getting louder, ready for me to decide.
The sun is coming down on me;
Could fate be so unkind?