As Long As You Forgive Me
/pb/
Author: Mavrik
/pb/
Note: Mavrik doesn't own the character etc, and all that disclaimer stuff .
/pb/
A little stuck on the other ones at the moment, know exactly where I'm going but having trouble writing it as in a way I like it at the moment, this was another idea stuck in my head for ages so thought I'd get it out to clear my head, this is a oneshot at the moment, also for those that wanted a Heero / Usa pairing for Five Gundams And A Baby. More chapters should be up soon of the other stories I have going, now that this is out of my head. Enjoy, might figure out more for this at a later date, but at the moment, its just a short(ish) little thing.
/pb/
"Please."
"No."
"Please…he's my brother."
"No."
"Heero…please."
"No, I won't let you go, you're mine." The male grunted tightening his hold around her waist, refusing to let her out.
"Heero…you need to stop being so possessive…" she sighed his hold tightening, almost painful as he kissed her possessively, violently. She was his, his! HIS!
"He won't have you, he won't touch you." Heero hissed, his hands possessing her, claiming her
"Heero-" she gasped as he restrained her, binding her to the bed, he wouldn't let her leave, not even if she wanted to, she didn't fight him, she knew he needed to possess her, dominate her, she understood that, she understood him.
"I won't lose you, not you, never you. You won't leave me, I won't let you." Heero hissed, he couldn't. Not her, never her, after everything he had lost in his life, The hell he had lived and been through, he refused to lose her.
/pb/
She stared at the roof, legs bruised and still tied as he rested against her crying after they had made love, she laid silently and stroked his hair letting him cry his pain out, he hated it when he got like this, he always regretted hurting her like this, forcing her like this, but he couldn't help himself sometimes. It was a rare happening, but he felt guilt or months afterwards
"I'm sorry." Heero whispered into the darkness, his lover not yelling at him, hating him, instead she just continued to run her hands through his sweat soaked hair soothingly.
"Sleep love." She murmured after his tears had finally begun to calm, no one but her had ever seen him cry, and no one ever would. I'm sorry he repeated in his head, jus clinging to the one woman that he hurt more then anyone, and the one woman that he loved above everything, and forgave him everything he did, even if he hurt her.
/pb/
"Heero Yuy, a moment." The lecturer called as the brown haired 22 year old ex-pilot stopped and turned to look at the lecturer, his expression the same blank it had been 6 years ago during the war. After the Mariemaia Incident he had disappeared like before, dropping of the radar so no one could find him, but eventually had decided to try a normal life, after all, he couldn't always forge his education, so he had applied at a little known university on one of the colonies, therefore here he was, having to answer to some lecturer
"Yes?" he asked the man shortly, the lecturer pulling out some papers, selecting the ones he wanted from the pile
"Your last assignment, I…don't really think the topic was…appropriate." The man said, Heero frowning at the man
"Why?"
"The recent war…isn't really a topic people are ready to discuss.." the man put as delicately as he could, Heero frowning at him, though his frown was closer to a glare.
"It's happened, it's valid as a history subject." Heero said as the lecturer frowned, Heero wasn't going to budge on this topic it seemed, and he was right, it was a valid subject technically, that didn't mean that people were ready to discuss it, and so emotionlessly and un-biased as Heero had done
"Alright…that's all…" he sighed, hero walking off without another word, there was nothing he could do, Heero was right, he knew though, that his marks would suffer from the opinions of those marking his work. There was something…different about that boy…
/pb/
"Yuy." A male voice called as Heero glanced over at the man running towards him, the captain of the Basketball team, Heero frowning at his room mate
"Bista." He greeted as Simon Bista grinned at the shorter Japanese man
"We're a man short this weekend, you free?" he asked as Heero frowned, Heero helped out with some of the sport teams when they were short on people, refusing to join any
"Hn." Heero grunted his attention elsewhere, Simon following his gaze to the young woman they all knew the Japanese man had interest in, the Japanese blond pixie Usagi Tsukino, computing major with economics.
"Usagi's coming." Simon bribed, Heero frowning at him his eyes flashing dangerously
"I'll come." He agreed reluctantly making his way to the canteen to get his lunch before his afternoon of study and writing more assignments on his precious computer.
Heero once again found his eyes on her, why did he have any interest in this girl? Usagi Tsukino, 21, single, adopted at age 8 by the Tsukino family after her family was killed in a terrorist bombing. Normal education and now in the middle of a 3 year course on computing. And for some strange reason, a woman he felt more intrigued by then he ever had for anyone before, including the only person to catch his attention previously, Relena Dorlain, she didn't hold a candle to this woman, Heero couldn't understand why, he just knew…that she was important somehow. And that he wanted her.
"You ever going to ask her out?" Simon asked sitting beside his normally silent room mate, Heero frowning at being caught watching her again and diverting his attention to his food, he was a murderer, he didn't have the right to be near someone like her with his bloodstained hands "Alright…no need to get testy." Simon defended as he caught the frown directed at him, Heero let out a silent sigh his eyes falling on her again, he soon pulled his attention away when he saw her look up feeling the eyes on her, no, he would stay silent, as always, he would never be happy, he didn't deserve to be happy.
/pb/
"Heero, Heero." The voices chanted as he made a break for the goals, he may be shorter then all the other players, but he was much faster, ducking under arms and around tall bodies he threw the ball, gaining the last goal of the game, and ensuring their victory, the crowd breaking into cheers, his traitorous eyes of course found her in the crowd as she cheered along with everyone else, he quickly tore his eyes away and instead turned to the team he was helping, Simon once again trying to get him to join as a member.
"Time to celebrate." Another team member said, Simon dropping the topic of Heero joining as he instead grinned
"Raito's having a party at his place…you coming?" Simon asked. Heero frowning at him
"No." he said, already walking towards the change rooms, Simon catching up to him with a sly grin
"Usagi's coming." He said, Heero pausing mid step as he glanced at Simon with a glare, he hated someone knowing his weakness, he may never touch her, but he was damn well going to watch and make sure no one hurt her at that drunken party.
"…Fine." Heero finally assented, Simon grinning, he was going to make Heero social even if he had to bribe him into every social situation he could
/pb/
"You played a great game." A soft voice commented as Heero turned slightly to see Usagi smiling at him from the back door of Raito's house, his parents having brought it for him when he came to study here, he used it for many a party.
"…Thankyou." He replied after a short silence, turning away from her, but noting she sat next to him, as sh sat on the edge of the porch with him, staring at the lights of the buildings on the other side of the colony, the closest thing they got to stars inside the colony. Closer to the stars then anyone on earth, but unable to see and enjoy them as all those below did.
"You don't talk much do you?" Usagi sighed, glancing at her silent companion, one of the only ones that wasn't drunk
"…" he looked at her, seeing her kicking her legs looking a little awkward and unsure he sighed "No." he replied finally as she went back to studying the lights
"Usa, you out…oh…Heero was it?" Shingo Tsukino, Usagi's little brother, but only by her adoption, Heero didn't like the way he looked at her.
"Is it time to go?" Usagi asked, Shingo nodding in reply, frowning at Heero as he helped his sister up
"Yeah, you've got a lecture early tomorrow." Shingo reminded, Usagi sighing, and if she didn't get as much sleep as possible she was going to sleep in and be late, as she had many times as a teenager.
"Goodnight Mr Yuy, you really did play a great game." She said as Shingo tugged her out, and then, the light warmth she had brought to him was gone, sighing he mentally berated himself could that have gone any worse? Why did he have to be such an emotionally messed up idiot? Stupid war, stupid training….Stupid Dr J.
/pb/
"Hey." Simon called as she paused and turned to look at the man blinking at him in confusion as he grinned at her, that was an almost scary grin
"Simon…right?" she asked, he nodded before pulling her to the side, away from her friends.
"Can I ask a favour?"
/pb/
Heero frowned at the grinning man across him, why had he agreed, how had he managed to be talked into this, he couldn't even remember anymore. Here he was, in the back of a limo with Simon, in a suit, he hated suits, he would give anything to get out of the evil contraption, but here he was…maybe he could refuse to get out of the car and Simon could go on his own. There was always his gun, though Simon didn't know about it, he could pull it on him, get him to let Heero back out…
"One last stop before we get there, got another person joining us. Since I doubted you'd have much luck at the party I took the liberty of organising a date for you." Simon said, Heero's frown becoming full glare, his patented Death Glare, that was rumoured to cause nightmares.
Heero's glare broke off as the limo stopped and a blushing Usagi slid in, though blushing she was glaring at Simon
"Wow…you look better then I expected." Simon complimented as Usagi continued to glare at him
"I don't know how you talked me into this." Usagi muttered, Simon chuckling, Heero definitely had taste
"Helps that I know your weakness." Simon teased, Usagi flushing again with a glare, Heero frowning, how did Simon know her weakness? And what was it? Deep in thought he didn't notice the glance she threw his way. Heero turned his attention back to Usagi as he stared at her, she looked stunning, incredible, and he couldn't help the primal thoughts that were sneaking into his mind. "Anyway…Yuy, please meet your date, Usagi, though I think you know her already." Simon said, Heero's eyes turning to Usagi suddenly as she flushed deeply staring at her hands in her lap.
"Eh?" Heero stuttered, not sure if this was real, Simon grinned at him with a wink, making his cheeks tint the slightest shade of red as he shot a glare back at the other young man.
"Well…I leave Usagi here in your care tonight." Simon finished, looking quite pleased with himself, if Heero wasn't going to make the first move, he was obviously going to have to force them together.
"Sorry…you really don't have to pay me any attention." Usagi whispered as the car pulled to a stop and they stepped out, Hero frowned slightly, his eyes taking in the situation quickly, especially the eyes that were on the short blond, he quickly seized her arm and tugged her closer
"Stay close." He commanded, Usagi grinning with a nod and following after him, a grinning Simon following behind, not that it was going to take much pushing
/pb/
"Are you going?" Usagi asked, Heero studying her from the bed, his eyes falling on the paper in her hands, he knew what she was reading, the letter he had gotten.
"I don't know." He replied, sitting and reaching for her, she soon returned to his arms, where she belonged
"You have to face your past sometime." Usagi sighed, Heero hugging her tighter, closer
"I know…" he murmured tightening his hold further, if he held her tight enough he forgot his past, the pain and the fighting.
"Heero…" Usagi sighed kissing him softly, Heero sighing against her lips as he rested his head against her shoulder
"If I go…will you come with me?" Heero asked, Usagi giggling at his childish request
"Of course, you can't escape me that easily." Usagi said, Heero smiling softly, if she thought he would ever leave her she was insane. He wanted to always be with her, he wasn't going to let her go.
As Heero enforced his claim on her, a note sat on the vanity, forgotten, but in no way unimportant.
Mr Heero Yuy.
Master Quatre Raberba Winner
Invited yourself and a guest to a reunion
Colony L6 on the 14th of May, 6 pm.
Attached was a note from Quatre himself 'Heero, it took me years to track you down, please come, everyone would like to see you. Quatre.'
/pb/
They sat outside the party, Usagi had maybe had a few too many drinks, but was nowhere near as drunk as Simon, whom was laying on the grass waiting for the colony to stop spinning so fast. Usagi was just very happy, and very honest.
"What about this one?" Usagi demanded as Heero sighed, turning his attention to the next flower she wanted identified, what was he? An encyclopaedia?
"Iris." He said shortly
"Iris…it's beautiful." Usagi murmured as she sobered a little looking at him sadly "Sorry, this is probably very boring isn't it? No fun at all…" she apologised, Heero frowning while shaking his head, being with her in any way, was 'fun' as she put it. "I was glad…when Simon asked me to come." Usagi sighed, Heero's lips pressing into a thin line, he wasn't going to give her to the likes of Simon "I've been wanting an excuse to spend more time with you." Usagi admitted, her intoxication making her bolder, Heero's eyes widening as he stared at her.
"With me?" he asked, wanting to be sure, and taking full advantage of her 'honest' state.
"Well…I've kind of had a crush on you for a while now…I wanted to get to know you…but you don't really like talking." Usagi groaned, sitting on the edge of a fountain, Heero frowning.
"I don't…but I will." He said, Usagi blinking at him in confusion, a smile hinting as he took a seat beside her on the fountain edge, not too close though
"You'd talk to me?" Usagi asked, Heero nodding her blue eyes connecting with his own calm blue. "I want to know more about you, you're the kind of guy…I'd like to love…so I wanted to know more about you." Usagi admitted, Heero's frown deepening.
"No you don't."
"Eh? What?" Usagi asked, studying the man frowning at her
"I'm not the kind of person someone like you should love. I don't deserve someone like you after what I've done." Heero murmured staring at his hands, the hands he would always see blood on. One small soft hand gently covered his own as Heero blinked at her in confusion a smile touching her lips
"That's my choice isn't it? Tell me." Usagi urged, and against his better judgement, and for reasons he didn't understand, Heero told her, he told her everything. Things that could incriminate them both, things no one but him knew, and things he knew would make her hate him. It was better to stop her feelings now, before they got too far.
/pb/
Heero sat in the courtyard staring at his hands, she hadn't said a word to him once he had finished, surely she hated him now, it was for the best, he knew at least she wouldn't tell anyone what he had told her, the secrets would stay with her until she passed, still…her silence had hurt him like he hadn't expected, he had been hoping it would drive her away…but he hadn't known it would hurt like this…
"Heero…" her soft voice came, Heero stood so fast to look at her that the chair he had been sitting in fell back, he barely noticed as he stared at her "Sorry…" she apologised going to help him pick it up as Heero went for it too dropping it again when their hands touched "I…umm…can I sit with you?" Usagi asked, Heero's eyes widening in shock…she wanted to sit with him? Didn't she hate him now? "I just…I wanted to apologise for last night, for going silent…it was just…a lot to take in…I…can we talk again? Sometime?" Usagi asked hesitantly, his eyes widening…what had he done in his bloody past to deserve this? She had accepted him, all of him…how could someone like her exist?
/pb/
Three months after their hesitant start Simon woke one morning to Heero making breakfast for two, and he wasn't one of the two, his suspicions were of course confirmed when Usagi exited Heero's room in creased pants and one of Heero's white dress shirts, blushing at the grin Simon gave her as she hurried past to her early lecture
"You go man." Simon congratulated, Heero frowning at him
"Tease her, and I kill you." He warned, Simon nodded, knowing that he was dead serious, he wasn't letting anyone scare her off now that he had her.
"Thought hadn't even crossed my mind." Simon defended, Heero nodding as he went back to his room to get ready.
/pb/
"Again?" Shingo demanded, Usagi returning after her lecture, in Heero's shirt, as she had many times before.
"Yes." Usagi said with a wince, "Why do you hate him so much?" she asked, Shingo glaring dangerously at a wall, an image of Heero in his mind
"He's using you Usa…I don't like him touching you!" Shingo hissed as Usagi sighed, since that first night she hadn't come home Shingo had been 100 anti-Heero. He hated the ex-pilot, even a year later.
"Shingo…" Usagi sighed as the younger went to his room slamming the door behind himself, probably not the time to tell him she was going to L6 with Heero…that news would have to wait it would seem. "Oh Shingo…why can't you and Heero get along?" Usagi whispered sitting herself down in the lounge room and looking at the photo of her and Shingo as children, they had been so happy back then.
/pb/
"How do you want to do this?" Usagi asked, twining her fingers with his own as they sat on the shuttle, waiting for the pre-flight check to clear so they could leave.
"I'm not sure." Heero murmured, he wanted her to come…but he didn't want anyone to see her.
"You make the calls." Usagi said as Heero nodded
"Just be with me." He asked his fingers tightening on her own "For now, just be with me." Usagi smiled softly resting her head against his shoulder
"I'll never leave you Heero, you don't have to worry about that." Usagi said softly, Heero letting his head rest against her own their hands tightening around one another's.
This is why he had fought, all those years, he had wondered why he was fighting…this was why, to protect people like her, to protect moments like this.
/pb/
"Seen the couple in 14B?" one stewardess said to the other as her companion giggled
"They're so cute." She said looking down the isle at that pair "I want a man like that." She sighed as they both got back to work, in 14B Usagi and Heero slept, heads resting against one another and hands twined together.
/pb/
Heero stared out the window as the shuttle powered down, his mind on the woman sleeping against his shoulder and his eyes on the dock, that's when his first shock came. Quatre was waiting for him at the dock, how had he known, how had he found out?
"Usa…Usa." Heero called softly shaking her, her blue eyes opening groggily at her
"We there already?" Usagi yawned as Heero nodded, glancing out the window at Quatre again.
"We have to sneak out, Quatre came to pick me up." Heero said, Usagi stopping him as Heero frowned at her "I don't want them to see you yet." Heero explained as Usagi giggled
"Heero, calm down." Usagi bade as he paused, turning his full attention to her "They don't know about me yet do they? We can just get off separately. Meet up later." Usagi explained as Heero calmed and began to think rationally again, she was right
"Sorry…" he murmured as Usagi giggled hugging him "You're right…" he sighed as Usagi kissed him softly
"Let's meet up at the restaurant L'Amour." Usagi said, Heero glaring after her, that kiss had been anything but soft, leaving a very annoyed, and frustrated Heero.
/pb/
"Heero." Quatre greeted cheerfully, Heero only glaring in return, he wanted to finish this quickly so he could go find her, and take her somewhere private.
"What?" Heero growled, Quarter brushing off his glare
"Do you have somewhere to stay?" Quatre asked, Heero frowning at him
"Yes."
"Well…" Quatre sighed "Would you like to catch up for a drink?" Quatre asked, Heero frowning again.
"No."
"You haven't changed a bit." Quatre chuckled as Heero looked at him
"I have." He said, in for one moment, one brief moment Quatre saw a softness in him that he had never known existed, that he hadn't thought possible in Heero, not with his past…then it struck Quatre…someone had done this…someone had changed him.
"Heero…are you going to bring her to the party?" Quatre asked as Heero flinched slightly his mind turning to his lover, he had known Quatre would notice, the empath was always too sharp for his own good.
"I don't know yet." Heero replied, no reason to deny it, Quatre would know if he was lying if he did.
"Well…I'll see you tomorrow night…I hope you bring her." Quatre said with a smile "Meeting someone that can handle you would be an experience and a half." Quatre chuckled, Heero frowning as he made his way past Quatre, the blonds chuckle following him out.
/pb/
"Hey Hee-" Usagi began to greet as he grabbed her arm and tugged her out, Usagi giggling at him, he wanted revenge it would seem.
/pb/
Usagi laid curled into his body as Heero stared at the roof running his hands through her long blond hair, yellow silk.
"Tomorrow, we need to go shopping…you'll need something to wear to the party." Heero said as Usagi propped herself up and looked at him
"Are you sure?" a little worried, his jealousy could reach insane levels
"Yes…no…maybe…" Heero murmured as he sighed studying her "Yes…as long as you stay as mine forever." He said finally, Usagi studying his eyes before she lean down and kissed him softly
"Heero…you already know I'm yours."
"Hold me." He breathed touching her cheek tenderly, he needed her to hold him, to keep all his pain away, to love him.
"Oh Heero…" Usagi whispered slipping her arms around him and hugging him close "You don't have to be afraid…I won't leave you, not now, not ever, and for no reason." Usagi promised as Heero kissed her
"Then come with me tomorrow."
/pb/
Heero wasn't sure if he wanted to let her out yet anymore. Let alone into a public place, she looked incredible, beautiful.
"What?" Usagi asked, noting his stare, her skin flushing slightly as his arms slid about her and hugged her close as he kissed her neck, leaving his mark.
"So they all know you're mine." Heero purred as Usagi pulled from his arms and ran for the mirror
"Heero Yuy! You bastard!" Usagi cried, Heero slipping one arm around her waist and hugging her back against him.
"You are mine." He said as Usagi growled at him touching the mark, this was just how he was, her lover, her life.
"Baka…ready to go?" she sighed, as Heero tightened his hold "Heero love…are you ready?" Usagi asked, and he relaxed, he needed to hear it, needed to hear that she loved him, forgave him.
"Yes…no…maybe…" Heero whispered as Usagi smiled turning and pressing her forehead to his chest
"Let's go love." She bade, Heero nodding, Usagi grabbing the concealer on her way out, she would see what she could do about the hickie he had left on her on their way there.
/pb/
Mavrik – Yeah well…its just something I wrote during exam time when stress created weird ideas….didn't help that I while I was studying I had the entire GW series playing from start to finish
Elendur – There will probably be more one day, but at the moment…that's all he has.
Mavrik – I'll come back to it sometime. But I'm not going to do any more while I've got the other two going, just had to get the idea out of my head.
Elendur – Yes there is ooc, but meh, he wanted to write it, so he did.
Mavrik – Until next time (more of 5 Gundams and a baby should be out soon, I've got room in my head for it now.)
Elendur – Review please, doesn't take much.