Chapter 1: Ghost of the Past

A/N: Inspired by the story a Christmas carol, but to be honest it has nothing related to Christmas in it. Hahaha.

Ed walked slowly up to the graveyard. He had been there such a long time ago. It was sick to think of all the funerals he had witnessed. The worst by far was Al's.

His younger brother had followed him everywhere so it was no surprise that he ended up joining the military as a state alchemist, all despite Ed's obvious objections. A terrible pain tore at him as he thought of the day he had received the news that his brother had been killed in the line of duty. He clenched his fists tightly; the guilt was as unbearable now as it was then. Although as he walked slowly towards the group of people he couldn't help but think of how much time had passed. The effects of time had really taken their toll on him. Others would notice that his face was withered with age and his once blond hair was now a somber gray that seemed to radiate the misery inside him. He walked with a slight limp, his automail serving to him as a reminder of his past sins and of the girl he had once loved. As he made his way to the site he could make out the aged faces of the people he had once known. A few of them stared at him in shock obviously stunned at his presence. He sighed softly; it was to be expected, after all he had been gone for such a long time.

The funeral itself was fit for an officer of his standing, but unlike the rest of the mourners his eyes were not filled with tears of sadness. It wasn't that he truly didn't care; it was just that he knew that that man had lived life to its fullest. He didn't choose to run away from the pain like Edward had. There was a woman crying softly whom he instantly recognized as Riza Hawkeye. He wasn't at all surprised to see she was being comforted by her two sons, both of which looked identical to that man. Staring at them he began to wonder; he wasn't sure exactly when his life had begun to crumble. Part of him was determined that it was Al's death, but his heart was telling him otherwise.

As he stood there he found himself unconsciously searching for that one face he had been dying to see. Sure enough he found it. Standing a few feet away from Riza was Winry. She gazed upon Roy's casket dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. He felt his heart sink; she was standing all alone her face filled with years of misery and pain. Catching sight of the disturbance in the crowd he watched as she raised her head to look in his direction. Those beautiful blue eyes tearfully gazed at him with a sweet longing that he couldn't take for much longer. Her pain seemed to amplify everything he was holding back, there was no doubt in his mind that he was still head over heels in love with her. Taking one last longing glance in her direction he turned his back; he had to get out of there. He grumbled to himself all the way back to his apartment, 'I knew it was a bad idea coming to Mustangs funeral. Its better that they just forget I ever existed.'

That night Ed fell into a restless sleep, his memories tearing at his mind. A thundering boom echoed through his room followed by the sounds of footsteps. Sitting up Ed glanced around the room, there was nothing there. Looking out the window Ed watched the rain fall, of course the damn thunderstorm had woken him up. Cursing nature he tossed and turned in his bed trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. It was then that he saw him, a pearly white Roy Mustang sitting at the edge of his bed. The ghostlike Mustang stared at him a look of pure disgust on his face.

Ed jumped out of his bed emitting an embarrassingly girlish scream. "You…you…your dead!"

Mustang raised an eyebrow, "And your point?"

Ed just stared at the man completely lost for words. To be fair, it wasn't everyday that he talked to ghosts.

"Well I see you sure have changed for the worst haven't you? Couldn't even stay at my funeral could ya? But in all honesty I'm surprised you even bothered to show up at all." He shook his head his face falling, "You know Ill never understand why you did it. Why you decided to leave when everyone needed you the most. "

Ed couldn't believe he was going to continue to talk to what he was sure had to be a figment of his imagination but even this ghostlike Mustang had a way of pissing him off. "You wouldn't understand."

Mustang stood up defiantly and walked over to him, "Well I have all the time in the world, try me."

Ed just stared blankly ahead, "I had to; it was the only way I could keep from hurting everyone."

Mustang just stared back, "Well that was stupid."

Ed growled at his blunt statement, "See you don't understand no matter how hard I tried in the end I always managed to put the people I care about in danger." His voice started to trail off, "I sent my own brother to his death as well as almost getting Winry killed countless times."

Roy seemed to ponder his words for a moment before he spoke, "You blame yourself for your brother's death? Ed he went into the military to be the person he wanted to be, he didn't join to follow in your footsteps. I'm not good at this whole sympathy thing but you have got to realize that your brother's death was not your fault. Did you physically shoot your brother?"

"Well no but…"

"No, there is no but. Since you were not the one who pulled the trigger I would think it would be obvious. Wow even in your old age your still clueless. Really this isn't too hard; you didn't shoot him so you didn't kill him. Now about that Rockbell girl of yours."

Ed tensed slightly at the way he said it. "She's not mine…she never was."

Roy's eyes blazed with a sort of impatience, "Oh Ed come off it! You really can't see it? I would have thought today would have sunk it in for sure." Seeing Ed's confused expression he continued half annoyed. "Ed she was by herself, can't you see how depressed she's been? You think that by leaving her you were saving her? Just what was it that you were saving her from, a happy life? A chance at a family of her own?"

Ed glared at him, "You know nothing of how I feel about her. You don't know the kind of pain I went through when I left her, I did it to save her and she has been saved."

"Really…so you still believe you saved her?" Roy stared deep into his eyes. "Well that's all I have to say, however there are three people who are here to see you."

Ed looked up curiously, his anger subsiding for the moment. "What are you talking about?"

"You've wasted your life Edward Elric; I'm just here as a messenger. You will receive a visit from the ghost of the past, present and future."

"Wait what? GHOSTS?! Ghosts from the past, present and future?! Ghosts are coming to my apartment? "

Mustang stared at him his mouth slightly ajar, "You're kidding right?" Seeing no confirmation he raised his eyebrows, "Just what do you think I am?"

Ed frowned for a moment deep in thought, "Oh…right I suppose you are dead so that would make you a…"

Cutting him off Roy spoke up in a more serious tone, "Well anyways I would love to argue with you but this is it for me. I only have one more thing to say to you before I have to go. If there is one thing you have to do it's forgive and forget. You hold too many grudges, the worse being against yourself." With a somber wave of his hand he mimed a goodbye.

The silvery whiteness that made up his body became translucent until it was gone altogether. Ed sat on the edge of his bed stunned; he was unsure if all that he had just witnessed was just a dream. Exhausted with thoughts of the past he convinced himself it was all just a dream climbed under the covers and began to drift back to sleep.

That was until a woman's voice gently awoke him. Feeling drained he tried to plead with her to let him sleep for just a few more minutes. She spoke again and this time Ed snapped his eyes open recognizing that voice. His mother smiled kindly at him, "Wake up sleepy head we don't have much time."

Ed gripped his hair as he struggled to wake himself from this cruel dream. He would not allow himself to dream about her, it was too painful. However as much as he tried she did not disappear.

Shaking her head sadly she motioned for him to stand up, "Oh Eddy what has happened to you?" There was a sad silence as she gazed at him with a look of pity and sorrow. "I know things haven't always been the easiest for you, but I didn't think you would end up like this. I think its time I remind you about the son I remember. So as the ghost of your past I'll take you to see things in your past that you may have forgotten." Holding out her hand she waited for him to take it.

Hesitantly Ed took her hand. Seconds after he grabbed his mom's hand he found himself standing in a house that he had once called home. Gazing around he jumped backwards as a pint sized Ed ran through the hallway followed by an even tinier Al. His mother noticed his shock, "Oh don't worry they cant see or hear us. To them we do not exist."

Meanwhile Al was yelling at his brothers back. "Wait, brother please WAIT! I wanna show her mine too!"

Ed found himself blush embarrassingly as he watched the younger version of him stick out his tongue and act in a way he was glad no one but his mom and Al could see. He was glad that he had grown out of that stage quickly.

His mother laughed out loud a twinkle in her eye, "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong." She looked at him sternly; you didn't grow out of that phase for quite some time."

They began to chase after the two little boys who finally had reached their destination. "Mom mom look at what I made for you!" Ed held out a tiny figurine made from his attempts at alchemy.

Trisha smiled at him, "Oh it's wonderful!"

The older Ed snorted with laughter, "You really are too nice mom; that thing looks like a piece of sh…" The rest of his sentence was cut off by the scolding look his mother was sending him.

"I thought it was wonderful then as I do now." Seeing the look of complete disbelief on Ed's face she continued, "It wasn't the actual figurine that I loved, it was the fact that it was made by you and that is reason enough to love it."

The tiny Al instantly held out his to her as well, "I made one too mom; see I did it!"

Trisha simply beamed, "I am truly blessed to have such thoughtful sons! I'm sure your father would be proud."

Al looked up curiously while Ed seemed sulk, "Dads not coming back is he."

Their mom gazed out the window, "He'll come back when he's finished."

It was then that their voices slowly faded out as Trisha's ghost spoke to the elder Elric. "You see Ed you've always hated your father for leaving, but isn't that exactly what you have done?"

Ed stood in silent thought hating that she could read him so well. "Yeah well I didn't have a family alright; I wasn't leaving my wife and kids behind."

"You may not have left a wife and kids but you did leave people behind, people that counted on you. Ah here we are now pay close attention."

Ed stared at the familiar Rockbell home his heart racing, he didn't expect this one. Two soldiers were getting out of a car and walking up to the front porch. He watched as Pinako opened the door her face in a grim line as the soldiers removed their hats. There was no need to hear what they were saying, he remembered this all too well. It was the day they found out Winry's parents had been killed. The scenery changed a little as they settled themselves in Winry's room. Ed felt his heart break as he watched the little girl sob into her pillow her parent's picture in a broken frame clutched in her tiny hands.

"Enough, I can't watch this."

Trisha shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry but you must watch this, you need to understand."

A tiny knock came at the door, "Winry you need to eat, come downstairs." Granny's voice was soft but stern. Yet there was no answer from her. Peaking into the room her face saddened as she found the young girl had cried herself to sleep.

The scene changed again and this time Ed and Al were at her door. Ed bravely knocked on her door, "Winry, its us can we come in?"

Her muffled voice filled the air, "Yes."

Once inside the brothers stood shyly next to Winry who was sitting in her windowsill gazing outside. Finally Ed lunged forward and pulled her into a hug. This caused the young Winry to dissolve into tears. Al followed his brother and hugged her as he handed her some tissues. She looked up at the two boys the tears still fresh in her eyes but a smile now gracing her lips, "Thank you."

Suddenly the bright sky turned dark and they found Winry asleep in her bed but beside her was not the broken picture frame but a new one and along side it was a framed picture of her and the two boys.

The ghost of Trisha watched the little girl for a few seconds more before she grabbed Eds hand and they were brought back to Ed's bedroom. Ed looked around but it was as if nothing had changed, but he had to still be in this weird dream because the ghost of his mom was still standing in front of him. "You see Ed you are family to her. You helped that little girl find happiness in the darkest of days and she has done the same for you. Eddy I always knew that you two belonged together, even back then."

It was then that they arrived at the moment Ed could feel was coming. There was Al stuck in the suit of armor cradling his older brother in his arms. Ed didn't want to see this particular memory but he couldn't look away, part of him really wanted to see what had happened. He had so often blocked out that it was hard to remember anything at all. Time seemed to skip ahead until they were standing at the foot of the bed where the broken and bandaged form of Ed lay. Sitting beside him was Winry who worked tirelessly day and night helping her grandma. The love he felt for his childhood friend seemed to grow as he watched her sneak out her room at night to sit by his side.

"Now I wish I could show you everything but we do have limited time so there are a few more things I want you to remember."

Ed was standing by Winry; the two teenagers were watching the sun set. "Ed."

The young Ed turned to stare at her, "Yeah."

"Your leaving again aren't you." Ed was silent. "This time Al's going too isn't he." Again there was no answer.

Ed finally turned to look at her his face breaking as he noticed the tears that were streaking down her cheeks.

"Aw Winry please don't cry. I promise we'll come back as soon as were done."

She looked at him the tears still falling down her cheeks, "You said once you had returned Al to his body you both would stop putting yourselves in danger like this. I worry about you two so much."

Ed adverted her eyes, "They need our help, and well Al refuses to let me give up on trying to get my limbs back."

The older Ed felt himself turn beat red, he knew exactly what was coming. Turning to his mom he motioned that they leave but she just smiled, "Edward this is the part you need to see more than anything else."

Sure enough they watched as the teenage version of Ed started to move closer to Winry, "Winry I'm sorry I make you cry. I don't want to hurt you like this, you have always been my best friend it's just that this is something I have to do. Please wait for me." The two teenager's eyes were locked on each other as they moved closer and closer until their lips were glued to one another.

Ed felt his heart race as his lips tingled; he had forgotten how powerful that kiss had been. Trisha snapped him out of his thoughts as she rummaged around in her pocket. Ed jumped slightly to find himself back in his room.

A loud crack of lightning followed by pouring rain changed the scene altogether. This time Ed spoke with a sense of incredible pain, "Please stop, I don't want to see this."

Trisha shook her head, "You have no choice."

They were standing in the graveyard; Winry was clutching onto Ed the tears pouring down her face. Al's name was written across the new headstone. The older Ed felt his gut lurch at what he knew his younger form was about to do. The two were the only ones left, Winry hugged Ed tightly, "Promise you won't ever leave me."

Ed just stared blankly ahead not answering her. Winry was now shaking with sobs her voice coming out in deep breaths, "Edward answer me…please?"

The young Elric finally responded to her by pushing her away from him, his jaw set in a stubborn line. "I can't do that."

Her face fell as she stared at him her hand turning the ring on her finger, "Ed why are doing this?"

He started to back away from her, "Dammit Winry were done, through. I don't love you."

Winry's face broke as she stared to walk towards him, "Why are you doing this? Ed please I'm hurting just as bad as you are, please don't."

Both of them were soaked by the rain, Winry shaking with sobs. "Ed I want to be with you, I love you. Why can't you be happy with me?"

The young man turned his back on her and began to walk away leaving the young girl crumpled on the ground sobbing. "The weddings off, I don't want to see you ever again."

The older Ed jumped as his mother put a hand on his shoulder, "You broke her heart that day, but you know she never stopped loving you. Even after you left her all by herself she still loved you. I think it took a lot for you to do what you did, but you have to understand that by running away you hurt her more than you'll ever know."

She pulled out a small pocket watch and with a tiny nod of her head seemed to affirm whatever thoughts were going through her head. "Just as I thought it is my time to go, the ghost of your present will be here shortly." They were now back in his apartment.

"Wait what? You're leaving?" In some weird sort of way it had felt nice to be with his mother again, even if she was some kind of ghost like being. But as she nodded her head he felt the words slip out of his mouth before he could think them through properly. "Is Al with you?"

She looked at him as if pondering his question to its fullest, "I cannot say, however I do know that where ever he might be he still loves you. Just as I love you."

With that she was gone. Ed stared at the spot where she had been seconds before with a sort of loss. As if on cue the ghost form of Maes Hughes appeared before him a goofy smile on his lips.

"Ah Fullmetal long time no see!"

So I know it doesn't exactly go along with the story a Xmas carol

but it's loosely based off of it

Oh and point of information

I don't know the series as well as I should

sooo there is a chance that I will be making some things up

or that I will really mess up on some characters and what not

So if that bothers you I'm sorry

Amy