I'm going to say it right now, do not try to deep throat a giant candy cane, it most likely will not end up well. I can't be to blame if you end up choking yourself to a hospital bed because I said don't try this at home. It's also 2 am and unedited. This is like the most sexual thing I ever wrote so if you could like tell me if it's accurate because as an asexual I'm not very versed in this. And by versed I mean 0%.
Anyway Merry Christmas sinners, only Jesus can save you now.
I do not own Tokyo Ghoul, nor any characters depicted within this story. This was written for the purposes of entertainment and not to profit. I make no royalties or funds from this.
"What the actual fuck Hide?" Kaneki asks a few seconds after seeing his best friend in his apartment. Said friend had given him the shock of his life as Kaneki came home from a rough day of work to see his friend, Hide, had gotten bored waiting around for him and currently had half of a candy cane as long as his forearm and as thick as his di- As thick as his door down his throat.
"Hmay Kamefki (Hey Kaneki)." Hide casually greets from Kaneki's bed and proceeds to push another half inch down his throat. "Moof ah ihs, I ave o ag eflx (Look at this, I have no gag reflex)."
"I can see tha- Hey! Stop shoving it down your throat and pull it out before you choke yourself!"
"O I on't- Ack! (No I won't- Ack!)" Hide's throat suddenly starts to clench around the giant holiday treat as he starts to cough and turn red. Kaneki runs over to the bed, and gripping the hooked part of the candy cane, and rips it out; pushing Hide down flat on the bed in the process. The peppermint treat slips out easily, lubricated in saliva and slightly melted if the lacking of reds stripes and slimming tip of the candy cane say anything.
"I warned you, didn't I." Hide isn't listening though. He's trying to catch his breath from coughing. His face is flushed and drool is hanging slightly from the corners of his mouth.
"Damn it Kaneki," Hide softly groans before coughing again. "I was going to deep throat that whole thing."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"You could choke yourself to death."
"Shh Kaneki," Hide reaches towards the candy cane in the half ghouls hand. "I'm going to try again."
"No, you're not!" Hide simply nods a 'yes' to Kaneki before trying to pry it from his hands.
"Give it to me Kaneki!" Hide hisses when he can't pry those fingers from the quickly drying treat, causing his own fingers to become sticky in the process.
"Ugh," Kaneki groans, seeing the determination in his friends eyes meaning he wasn't giving up so easily. "At least let me do it. That way if I see you choking I can pull it out before you decide you can handle it."
"Fine!" Hide agrees, throwing his hands up and himself back down onto the bed.
"What! Like that?"
"Yea, is there a problem?"
"No, but I'm going to need to change position."
"Fine by me."
With Hides consent, Kaneki shuffles around the bed for a few miniutes before deciding the best position for when two was for himself to be sitting on Hide's chest as he lay.
"Are you ok?" Kaneki asks.
"No, your ass is crushing me, What did you eat? Lead? No wait! I bet you ate titanium." Hide mocks and Kaneki gently taps Hide's head with his hand in response.
"Alright, lets get on with this then." Hide nods and leans his head back and opens his mouth wide. Kaneki can see Hide's Adams Apple Bob up and down his golden tinged throat as he places the tip of the candy cane in his mouth again. Saliva instantly secretes from Hide's mouth as Hide swirls his tongue around the holiday sweet over and over.
"Are you going to eat it or deep throat it?" Kaneki asks and Hide stops licking the treat so Kaneki can proceed. Kaneki presses the tip past the small flap of skin separating the windpipe and esophogas, into the esophogas itself. Hide moans a little and Kaneki stills, checking to see if Hide was choking. He wasn't choking but he certainly was flushed, and with a right to be as well. Being underneath your friend who is helping you to deep throat a giant candy cane isn't the most platonic nor non-sexual of things. Hide seeing Kaneki hesitate Hide sends him a pleading look, one that begs his best friend to continue.
Taking a small breath Kaneki pushes in further, and further. Slowly, oh so slowly, originally with caution but now just teasing Hide with the overly large treat. There are tears in the corners of Hide's Amber eyes, his face is constantly flushed red and he's starting to sweat, making bleached blond hair stick to his forehead. 'What the hell.' Kaneki thinks, not noticing the same happening to him.
Halfway in now and they are at the point where Hide originally choked. Hopefully now he is silent (for once) they will be able to finish this off without Hide choking. Pushing further on Hide lets out another moan, this one longer and drawn out. Kaneki stills again and let's Hide finish, looking at the thick bulge the treat makes of Hide's throat where it's been shoved down. Kaneki is both impressed and simultaneously disgusted with the sight. A small hint of another more carnal feeling rears its head but Kaneki has the self control to suppress that.
Hide however doesn't, and infamous for his impatience he grips Kaneki's hand with his own and forces his friend to ram it down his throat to the start of the hook where he couldn't fit anymore down his throat. Hide lets out one long, loud moan that reminds Kaneki of Tsukiyama for a moment before he realises what the actual hell his friends just done.
"Hide-" Kaneki calls out, only to be interrupted by his friend weakly holding a thumbs up to him. Kaneki smiles and leans down to lick the hook of the candy cane. Absolutley disgusting. Kaneki visibly cringed and he hopes Hide thinks it's because he just realised he licked a candy cane shoved down his friends throat and not because he's a half ghoul who thinks peppermint tastes like horse cum apparently.
"Let's get this out now." Hide's flushed, teary self nods and Kaneki grips the hook again and pulls the treat out like he's unsheathing a sword
sword. Albiet a sword covered in his friends saliva and smelling strongly of peppermint.
"Thanks Kaneki." Hide whispers, his throat raw after deep throating the giant candy cane.
Kaneki shifts off Hide, placing the sticky treat beside him on his bed as Hide sits up himself. Kaneki looks at his hand in distaste as he presses his sticky fingers together and apart again and again. Hide seeing this takes Kaneki's hand and starts to lick it clean.
"W-wha?" Kaneki rambles and his face grows red as Hide slips his fingers in his mouth and looks up at Kaneki with darkened, lustful eyes.
"Kaneki," he calls with the ghouls fingers still in his mouth. "Lets see if I can take your entire arm down my throat."
Fin.