A/N: This is my first story in the PJO fandom! Yo, guys! I'm usually one with the Force, but I love PJO and HoO so very much that I can't avoid writing a fanfic or two (possibly more) for this fandom. Sorry about all the exclamation points, I'm just excited. wrote this a while back but it still deserves to be posted. *clasps fingers* *whispers* For my baby Nico... To be enjoyed with ice cream and a box of tissues... Also note that there are spoilers for House of Hades, so if you haven't read it yet, I suggest you do. Now I'll shut up with the A/N.
Nico was worried. No, not worried - scared. He wasn't used to feeling like this. Brooding was one thing, but this feeling was on a completely different side of the I-feel-like-crap spectrum. The child of Hades seldom discussed anything concerning his sexuality. If they weren't in need of the Diocletian scepter, he wouldn't have had to confess his feelings for Percy right in front of Jason. On the contrary of Nico's wishes, Jason knew and, well... Nico didn't like how things looked.
Nico adjusted the collar on his coat, slightly nuzzling his head into the fuzzy lining. He wanted to trust Jason with his secret, but part of him felt as if he couldn't (although that could just be the part of him that was detached from other people). He also struggled to convince himself that he'd completely given up on Percy. If he didn't come to a conclusion soon, all possible answers would battle it out in his mind, ultimately burying him in a landslide of confusion.
Much to his dismay, he was angry with himself for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint. So angry his temple throbbed and his eyes burned and sparkled with angry tears. I couldn't have just given up with the scepter because I was too afraid to tell Cupid what he wanted, Nico thought, then demanded to himself, Why am I crying?! This wasn't anything to get choked up over - just a facet of his life that one person knew about. Still... Why Percy? Of all people. And why was this making him so panicked? Why-
The son of Hades whimpered and curled in on himself. Why in Hades am I crying?! The crow's nest on the Argo II rocked slightly with the night's gusty air currents and the shaking of Nico's shoulders. He let his eyes send their shimmering, pained teardrops falling through the sky, guided by the wind onto the deck below. Somehow crying made him feel better. The small streams of tears that trickled down his cheeks calmed his oncoming panic attack.
Maybe his secret wouldn't get out. Maybe he could really trust Jason; he could start to build their friendship more... Perhaps he'd be okay - he'd see Percy again. Nico supposed he hadn't completely given up on the son of the sea god. Blinking and tearing his eyes away from the ground far below, he realized he shouldn't give up on himself either.
Yeah, I know it was short, but if it helps anyone out there who's struggling with their sexuality (or just struggling in general), I feel like I've done my job. Just so you guys know, you're not alone and I'm always open to give advice - just shoot me a PM. *claps hands* Now onto the next fanfic!