A loud sigh filled the room. The cold air sipped through the open window, the young dark-haired woman felt goosebumps on her skin. It was almost April, couldn't it finally get warmer?

Instead of standing up and closing her window, she tried to crawl further into her blankets, tried to hide from the cold that invaded her room. That didn't make it better, though. Pillows were crinkling under her, making noises. Again, she sighed, finally sitting up, pushing her messy hair aside. Even in the dark room, her crimson red hair strand would stand out. A little light from the lonely street was falling into her bedroom, illuminating her room slightly. Satsuki was right, she would live… or rather does live in one of the nicest districts of town. Ocean view, check. No noise at nights, check. Even the way to work was short – 10 minutes by foot.

Her gaze wandered to the ocean, the slight waves, to the night sky and its impressive stars. Yeah, it was magnificent here. Mako and Gamagoori next door, Satsuki not too far away. Her adoptive family a few streets farther from her own little flat which was quite small, but it had everything she needed. Indeed, it was way more comfortable than their old house in the slams of Honnou-Town. Compared to that, it was pure luxury she was living in.

But yet, something important was missing.

Still sitting in her bed, her look wandered around the stars. Obviously it was another sleepless night. Another sigh dropped from her mouth.

Yeah, she thought, she had everything. She had her absolutely supportive adoptive family, with her father becoming a real doctor now who didn't have to steal blood and organs to keep the family alive, Matarou was goddamn finally visiting a school regularly and her mom could stay home to keep the household, faithfully waiting for her husband to re-open his doctor's office, as she wanted to work there. With him.

She had Satsuki, her sister. Their relationship was steadily improving, as Satsuki showed a huge interest in her, her life, and her farewell. Thanks to her she had this little flat next to Mako, thanks to her she had her first real job. She could own her money herself instead of relying on her big sister. And Satsuki was understanding Ryuukos ambitions of being self-sufficient. Satsuki, however, was living in the Kiryuuin mansion herself, but she had become the CEO of Revocs Corporation – trying to create an organization she could stand for. An organization she could be proud of. Both sisters could be proud of. Ryuuko smiled at this thought. Satsuki wasn't trying, she was doing it. And she was capable of doing this task – making REVOCs a corporation worth of existing. Yet this was the reason for Ryuuko and Satsuki not being able to see themselves often. But it was okay. Ryuuko knew that Satsuki's work was especially stressful after all the chaos and destruction her mother tried to bring to the world 8 weeks ago. She was astonished – only 8 weeks since she had saved not only her friends' lives, but the world, too. And in this short time, her adoptive sister Mako was not only dating the former shield of Satsuki, no, they even moved in together. Obviously both of them didn't want to miss out on anything now that the world was okay, Ryuuko thought to herself. So both of them were living right next to her. Mako often came over to Ryuuko to chat with her, cuddle her, cook with her. And yet, Ryuuko was sleepless at the nights. Feeling a void nothing in her actual life could fill.

She was living a fucking happy life, she thought.

And again, her heart screamed. Something was missing. Something utterly important was missing and her insides were screaming for this absolute dork.

Resistance was futile. No, she thought, she was trying to resist it for so long. For the past three months or something like that. Effectively since she left his ugly, untidy dorm. After she didn't get the answers she wanted. After she felt so strange when he was joking about a relationship… their relationship… and even though she was fighting so hard, she couldn't help it.

It was her everyday life to miss it. To miss him.

"Damn it."

Her head met her blanket-covered knees which she held firmly onto her body. She was still freezing.

She was fucking missing him so bad she couldn't sleep at night, she couldn't stop to think about him. Yet, she wouldn't talk to anyone about it. I mean, come on, who would she be if anyone knew that she l-

Wait. The L-word was strictly forbidden. She didn't love him. Not at all. She wasn't missing him. She didn't love him at all, she repeated to herself.

Why would she even? He was not trustworthy. Withholding information for so long. He was a fucking perv, fucking nudist who treated her like she was 5 in a time of her life when she needed his trust. Needed his support. Yet he always stayed in the back, watching, keeping this beautiful mouth shut. Leaking information way too slow. Instead he always tried to make a move on her, his azure blue eyes locking into hers, grinning a smile which made her heart ache for more…

No, no. No, this wasn't healthy. She grunted in discomfort. She wanted to forget him so badly, yet she couldn't.

He didn't care when he left. Her head was full of questions when they parted. It was twilight when Honnouji Academy and Honnou Town sunk into the deep ocean. It was this bittersweet moment of not knowing what the future might hold for them. Bittersweet feelings threw off the sweet part, turned into bitterness, when he looked at her with a hard gaze, hugging her shortly and mumbling a goodbye into her hair. She was utterly confused, she wanted to scream that he should stay. Stay with her. Instead, she stayed silent, hoping that the looks she were giving him were enough to tell him what she felt, how she felt.

But the world kept rolling on. Her life was keeping her busy. She was alive. And yet, the thought of this moment pierced her heart. She hated it. Hated his look, hated being unable to read this expression on his face. She hated that everybody was progressing, yet she was feeling… empty.

And she hated the fact that she was mourning everything.

She was a nice girl, of course she knew that. Good looking, quite intelligent, hardworking, honest. There were times when she hated herself, but the few months at Honnouji Academy made her self-confident. Proud of herself, even.

And yet the thought of this bastard crushed her. She wasn't weak at all. Two months ago she bared the weight of the world on her shoulders. Doing everything was easier than dealing with her feelings for the man who used to be her teacher.

She found herself remembering the times when she used to wake up in his apartment. A soft smile was on her lips. When he used to strip himself, to make moves on her, to playfully argue with her. She remembered his school lectures, remembered him putting her right about life fibers and his unprecedented seriousness in his eyes, words, and actions; and she remembered their conversations that only both of them shared knowing about.

Her heart ached. She wanted these moments to come back.

Without him, life seemed dull and boring.

"Ryuuko-chan!"

She snapped up. Mako was standing in her bedroom, holding a huge, steaming cup in her hand, being in her nightgown.

"Are you alright? You didn't even hear me knocking", she said, taking a seat next to her sister, crawling under her sheets. "I was just… in thoughts." Ryuuko answered. Mako handed the mug over to her. "Warm milk, for you. You said you didn't sleep well the last nights", she remarked. The black-haired girl smiled. "Thank you, Mako." She took a few gulps before she let the warmth of the milk melt into her hand palms.

"Are you alright?" Mako had that overly worried look on her face. "I guess so", Ryuuko lied. Slowly she understood that she was the opposite of being okay.

"Is it about Senketsu?" Ryuuko shaked her head. The loss of Senketsu was painful, that was true, but that was something she was dealing quite well with. Both girls stayed quiet for some time, the silence was only occasionally broken by Ryuuko taking a sip of milk, by the rustling trees, by the soft sounds of the roaring ocean.

"Then it is about that stuff we were talking about a long time ago! Ooooooooooooh, I didn't think this would still bother you!", Mako yelled all of a sudden.

With a quizzed look on her face – she wasn't even surprised by Makos sudden remarks anymore, Ryuuko asked what the brown-haired girl was talking about. "You know, that night before you and that red Mohawk guy-" "Tsumugu.", Ryuuko threw in, "-yeah, that guy blew up the whoooooole schoolyard, wanting to take Senketsu away from you!" She was yielding her arms in the cold air. Yep, Ryuuko was indeed remembering that day when Tsumugu attacked her, but she wasn't quite sure what Mako was aiming for, with the evening beforehand and stuff. Mako, obviously able to read Ryuukos facial expression of not knowing what she referred to, continued: "You were looking so sad and down, when you left the dinner table that I'd been following you to the bedroom, where you didn't want to talk about it and mumbled something about stupid feelings and that you'd forget them."

Ryuuko bitterly remembered. Mako was right, that was the first night when she started to understand that strange feeling of nausea when she saw Mikisugi.

"You're still in love, Ryuuko-chan!" The sound of the L-word hit her like a wave right in her face. Shit, her mind responded, sending a wave over her so everything in her body was feeling numb. She couldn't exactly make out what Mako was rumbling about afterwards when she left the room to go back to her own flat, go back to her boyfriend.

She was numb. Empty, numb, brain-dead. The truth was sickening her mind.

She was in love with Mikisugi.

Even Mako could tell.