Full Metal Alchemist (What they DIDN'T show you)
Disclaimer: Sadly we do not own "Full Metal Alchemist", "Naruto", or "Dn Angel". –sob-
Authors notes: Ok, I know this story is totally random, but hey its called stay up 'til three in the morning on a sugar high and just letting your imagination do what it wants. Well, I hope you enjoy my brothers and my random fan fic. Oh, and warning if you're offended easily by any mention of gay people then don't read I'm giving you all fair warning. And, this fan fic. is supposed to be completely humorous, so some of the humor could be somewhat offensive. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
Italics: thoughts
This is a good idea to read if you want to know what's going on!
Background stuff- As normal, Ed and Al are off looking for the philosopher's stone when suddenly a mysterious man pops up behind them and successfully knocks them out. This same mysterious man then proceeds to take them into the world of "Naruto" and leaves their unconscious forms in the middle of no where.
Ed slowly starts to wake up and look around when he spots Al a ways away also just starting to wake up.
"Al…how'd we get here?" Ed asks as he rubs the sore spot on the back of his head.
"Ummmm…I dunno Brother." Al replies sheepishly as a sweat mark appears on the back of his head. "Well, I guess we should figure out where we are, right Brother?"
"Yeah, I guess." Ed grumpily remarks. I'm gonna kill whoever did this to my freakin' head. Thought Ed angrily.
Ed smiles evilly as thoughts of torturous things go through his head.
Meanwhile, Ed and Al both start to look around for anything that might give them any clues as to where they are. Just as they were about to start their search Ed spots someone off in the distance.
"HEY LOOK! SOME OLD GUY!" he yells at Al and runs over to the man. "Hey, HEY GRAMPS!" Ed yells as he reaches the older looking man.
Gramps? Thought the young man.
The older looking man looks oddly at Ed as he watches him run towards him. As Ed closes in on him he starts to sweat a bit as he realizes something very important. Damn he's not old… Thought Ed grudgingly.
"My bad gramps." Ed says almost caringly.
Not again… Thought Al as he caught up to his brother.
"I'm sorry for my brother rudeness." Al says as apologetically as he can to the stranger.
"Hn…did you say something." The stranger says with a bored tone and lazily pulls out an orange book with a circle and a slash running through it. Al's none existent eyebrow starts to twitch in annoyance at the stranger's rudeness.
Ed, who is now pissed, stands right in front of the stranger and yells at him to listen to what he has to say.
"LOOK POPS YOU LISTEN TO ME!" He yells.
The stranger finally looks up from his pervy looking book and looks around then finally looks down at Ed.
"Oh, Sorry, didn't see you under my book…and it's Kakashi not 'pops.'" The stranger replies while nonchalantly introducing himself.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Ed yells as he stares angrily at Kakashi with his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides in an attempt to control his short fuse.
Kakashi looks down at Ed in slight confusion at his angry outburst.
"…Under my book?" Kakashi says in now mock confusion to mask his amusement.
"Brother…stay calm we don't need to be kicked out of another town…wait we're not in a town…" Al says in an attempt to try and calm his older brother down before he starts yet another fight.
"Kicked out of another town?" Kakashi questions as he raises an eyebrow in amusement. That almost sounds like Gaara. He thought quit smugly.
Elsewhere Gaara sneezes and scowls in irritation. Someone's talking about me damn it. He thought in annoyance.
While Kakashi was thinking of Gaara and Ed's similarities Ed managed to calm himself down a bit.
"Ok, listen Whitie…We need to find food or we die…do I speak English?" Ed asks as he sighs in mild irritation.
Kakashi thinking it fun to irritate this midget standing in front of him decides to play with him just a little.
"….I think that's English…I don't remember…" Kakashi says as he pretends to put a thinking face on, though you can't tell because of his mask, and pretends to think about what Ed had just said.
"…It's a simple question…." Ed says in shocked irritation. I can't tell if this mans a jerk or just STUPID. He thought in exasperation.
"I'm a simple person, now let me think." Kakashi says as he continues to play dumb.
"…Ummm, Brother maybe we should ask someone else." Al suggests in an attempt to get away from Kakashi. Is this guy just a moron or on something? Al questions himself.
"Yea, probably a good idea…" Ed says as he looks around for someone or something else to ask. "…What else can we ask…SAND!?"
Gaara's sand was gathering around the trio as Gaara himself comes walking towards them after deciding to find the source of his earlier irritation.
"Yes, the sand knows more than you think." Gaara replies as he comes to a stop a few feet away from them.
Damn, another freak. Thought Ed as he leans over to talk to Al.
"Al, maybe we should of went to the North Pole Santa knows more then THESE morons." Ed whispers.
"…I heard that you shrimp." Gaara growled out at Ed.
Kakashi sensing that this could lead to something more interesting puts his away to watch as a sweat mark starts form on the back of Al's armor.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!? DO I LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN FISH THING TO YOU? I DIDN'T THINK SO! I SHOULD KICK YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO SANTA, SO HE CAN SAY NO GIFTS FOR THE MEAN FISH CALLING BOY, WHO LIKES TO CALL PEOPLE MICROSCOPIC NOMES!" Ed yells in pure anger at Gaara while starting to pant due to his short rant.
"Are you a girl?" Gaara asks as he stares unmoved at Ed.
"No," Ed hollers at him as his anger starts to rise again.
"Oh, coulda sworn that was a "that time" mood swing." Gaara says to add salt to the wound.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY CARROT TOP?!" Ed yells in retaliation while pointing angrily at Gaara.
"WHAT WAS THAT SHRIMP!" Gaara hisses out with a pissed look making its way onto his face.
Al thinking this was getting out of hand starts to wonder if he should risk his life to stop them or just let them work it out. Just as Al decided he wanted to live Kakashi appears next to him.
"Does your brother always get into fights like this?" Kakashi questions Al in an amused tone.
"Kinda." Al replies while laughing nervously.
Ed putting on a blank face holds up a finger to say something then just stands there and stares for a few seconds.
"I…" He starts. "Forgot what I was going to say…"
Ed then lets his hand drop to his side as everyone just stares at him in disbelief.
"OH MY GOD ITS AN EMO!" Ed announces shocking everyone yet again.
"Who you callin' emo?" Sasuke asks as he walks over to Gaara.
Ed already annoyed with all that's been happening gives Sasuke an "a duh" look.
"Gramps…'cause he looks em-NO YOU, YOU DUMBASS!" Ed shouts angrily.
Sasuke being as smug as ever just gives Ed a "your dumber then the dope" look.
"It wasn't a question…it was a second chance…" Sasuke replies coolly.
"AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF I CALL YOU THE 'E' WORD AGAIN?" Ed inquirers in an attempt to ruffle this cool birds feathers.
Sasuke after giving the area a quick glance quickly assumes that the person in the tin suit is probably with this hot tempered shrimp and decides to use him against him.
"Hurt Tin Can over there." Sasuke counters while pointing over at Al.
Ed in complete shock looks over Al as a smile makes its way across his face.
"…HEY, Al! HE CAN TEL WE'RE RELATED! I MUST BE GETTING TALLER!" He shouts in pure excitement.
"Yeah, brother that must be it…" Al says as he looks away whistling while what was said continues to sink in. "…And I'm NOT a 'Tin Can' you jack!"
Kakashi enjoying the show thus far looks over at Al with an amused smirk hidden under his mask. So, the Tin Can has a temper. He thought.
Someone's calling me Tin Can again I just know it…damn it… Al thought angrily.
Sasuke knowing he got under Al's "armor" decides to see how far he can push him.
"What you gonna do 'bout it TIN CAN?" Sasuke taunts as he carefully watches Ed and Al's reactions.
Ed feeling that it's his place to stick up for his younger brother beats Al to insulting Sasuke.
"WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T MAKE OUT WITH CARROT TOP ALL DAY!" Ed yells as he points at him. "Gay Emo!"
Sasuke being completely caught off guard looks over at Gaara in shock.
"….Making out….Is…" Sasuke fumbles as a light blush appears on his face. "Oh, Gaara…they can tell."
Gaara also in complete shock can only nod as a blush starts to cover his face as well.
"…Wait a sec…" Ed stutters in udder disbelief as his mouth drops open.
Al who is now rolling on the floor laughing his ass off can hardly spit a coherent sentence.
"Y-you guessed right brother." Al stutters as he pauses to laugh and catch his breath before continuing. "…gay emo…"
Kakashi also in disbelief but for a completely different reason than the Elric brothers looks between the two young ninja. Hmmmm, I guess I'm not the only one…I wonder where he is right now. He thought as he starts to daydream about last nights activities and stare off into space.
…Why do I sense that someone is looking at my butt… Ed thought uncomfortably. Ed acting on his uneasy feeling twitches in irritation as he looks at his toosh then looks up to see that Kakashi, who's lost in thought, is staring at his precious butt.
"HEY, GRAMPS! THAT IS ILLEGAL YOU KNOW!" Ed yells in disgust.
Kakashi snapping out of his demeanor takes a couple seconds before replying to Ed's accusation.
"Hm, what?" Kakashi asks as he wipes the drool off his chin.
Ed turns to Al in horror and quickly starts to inch away from Kakashi.
"AL, LETS GET OUTTA HERE WHILE WE CAN! IT'S THE TOWN OF THE QUEERIES!" Ed shouts in alarm.
"…How…do you know where we live?" Sasuke asks in disbelief.
Ed freezes on the spot and looks around wide eyed at all of them.
"You mean…your gay, all of you are gay…and you live in a town…called "Town of the Queereies…" Ed asks with eyes widened in shock. "CURSE MY MOUTH!"
"Ummmm, Brother can we leave now?" Al asks with a horrified look on his fa-POOF! Out of no where Daisuke, from "DN Angel", appears with a bowl of ramen.
Hn, well today's just full of surprises…speaking of which I wonder what tonight will be like. Kakashi thought hopefully.
"…Al…Something is off…" Ed starts to say as he raises an eyebrow.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN was all that was heard before a flying blob of orange appeared and dived bombed Daisuke. Ed screams in horror and nearly pisses his pants as he helplessly watches Daisuke being attacked by the blob of orange.
"WHERE DID THAT KID COME FROM NOW! AL HURRY! WERE BEING SURROUNDED!" Ed yells in panic as he turns and runs into someone's solid chest.
Ed froze as he heard an all too familiar voice above him.
"Why, hello Edward." Came Roy's all too masculine voice.
Ed sensing that something was off about him but was to overjoyed that Roy was even there to pay any attention to it.
"Ahhhhh Oh god, Thank god, Roy," Ed exclaimed in relief. "Get us out of this queer town…"
Roy completely ignoring what Ed had just said stares at him with a weird look in his eyes.
"I love you." Roy confesses while staring down at Ed.
"WHAT?" Came Ed's intelligent response.
Al standing a ways from the scene starts to turn green upon hearing Roy's confession to Ed. …I think I'm gonna be sick… Al thought while covering the mouth part of his armor.
Roy quickly bends down and embraces Ed in an a bear hug.
"C-can't…b-breath…Lemme go!" Ed stutters as he tries to get out of Roy's strong embrace.
Roy acting as if he didn't hear Ed's request to let him go starts snuggling with him like he was a plushy.
"AL GET OTTTA HERE WHILE YOU CAN! ITS NOT LONG BEFORE THEY GIVE ME WHATEVER DRUG THEY'RE ALL ON!" Ed shouts in warning.
Al in no way going to leave his brother with these crazy guys runs over, and successfully knocks Roy out while stuffing Ed inside his armor suit and runs for their lives.
"Like hell I'm leaving you here!" Al yells as he runs with Ed.
Ed opens Al's suit and starts pointing in the direction that Al should run. When they finally get far enough away from where they left Roy and the strange ninjas Ed jumps out of Al's armor suit. Panting Ed huddles in fear and stares at the ground.
"Alphonse…our lives…will never be the same…I'm scared brother…" Ed confesses as they sit and try to erase what just happened from their memory.
"…Yeah, me too…" Al says as he shivers at the memory of what just happened moments ago.
Ed sighs as he finally allows himself to relax and puts a smile on his face for Al.
"Ok, no more lovey dovey guys…" Ed explains as the sand to their right starts to stir.
"HEE HEE!" was all they heard before seeing Michal Jackson as he pops out of the sand next to them.
Ed screams in horror as he gets up to start running for his life.
"HOLY SHIT! RUN AL RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Ed shouts.
Al grabs Ed's arm and takes off running.
"Not again," Al sobs as they run for their lives once again.
the wonderful end
Ed-(pops up) Oh, and to all who are in "Naruto" that really aren't gay, meaning everyone but Sasuke, I apologize. -bows- ...PSST! RIGHT! -keels over laughing-
I hope you like our little fan fic. so please leave lots of comments but nothing mean okes. Well, thanks for reading.