"You guys need to seriously stop it!" growled Ivysaur as he hopped back and forth between Charizard and Incineroar. The two Fire-type Pokemon were teasing the leafy lad by tossing his favorite bouncy ball back and forth.
"Sorry Ivysaur, this is ours now!" laughed Charizard. He flew up high with the ball and spiked it down to Incineroar.
Incineroar grinned as he snagged the orb and spun it on his finger. "Yeah, nerd. Go play in the dirt where you belong!" the big cat laughed.
Ivysaur felt like he was about to cry, but held back his tears and stomped outside. He had never gotten along with Charizard that well, but ever since Incineroar had moved into Smashville, things between them had gotten even more heated.
Ivysaur plopped down on his belly by a tree and tried to take a nap.
"COWABUNGA!" cried Squirtle as he fell from the branches and landed atop Ivysaur. Ivysaur ran around frantically as Squirtle rode him like a bucking bronco. Ivysaur finally shook the tiny turtle loose with a pollen spurt from his flower, launching Squirtle into the side of the house.
Ivysaur gasped. "Squirtle, are you okay?"
Squirtle moaned and put two thumbs up. "Did I pass, Sensei?"
Greninja suddenly appeared behind Ivysaur and shoved him out of the way. "My glorious sweet froggy buns, you did the most radical attempt ever, broseph!" said the ninja freak. He set Squirtle on his shoulder. "C'mon, let's go boogie with dat swaggin' steez, homie!"
"Aye-aye, cap'n!" cheered Squirtle. With that, the two slippery swag lords bounded off to more idiotic activities involving popular 80's subculture.
Ivysaur sighed. "I thought things would be different ever since Squirtle and I got back here, but it seems like I'm still all alone…" He drooped his ears and took a long walk down the path.
… … … … … …
"And stay out!" roared Mario as he delivered a swift kick to the potted rear.
Piranha Plant went flying out the window and landed in a mud puddle. He slowly got back up and spewed out a load of muck. "Have I done something to offend you fellas?" he said with a scowl.
Peach rolled her eyes. "What haven't you done since you got here?"
"First, it was toxic puddles all over the bathroom, then it was the late night karaoke parties with your kindred where you literally spit hot fire, and now you expect me to let you off the hook after this vile offence?" cried Mario as he held up a plate of zero spaghetti.
Piranha Plant reached his tongue around his head and slurped up the last remaining noodle. "I said I was sorry. How was I supposed to know that platter of pasta was yours, Mario?"
"Mama Mia! It's my stinkin' middle name, mongrel!" Mario tossed the empty plate at Piranha Plant's bulbous noggin. It shattered like the hopes and dreams of Grinch advocates.
"And take all your stupid garbage with you too!" barked Luigi as he shot Piranha Plant's belongings out of his Poltergust 5000.
"Ah, come now! You don't really mean to let on that you all strongly dislike me with that degree of intensity," said Piranha Plant with a frown.
"He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses!" wailed Dr. Mario with excruciating detail.
"He did?" said Luigi somewhat stunned.
"Yes, actually. Where were you, bucko?" said Daisy.
"Don't forget how he chewed on all my Amiibos, Dad!" whined Junior.
"Oh yes, he is not getting away with that!" growled Bowser like a good father capable of all righteous paternal duties involving love and responsibility. (A/N: And he's single, ladies!)
"You're all just overreacting!" shouted Piranha Plant. "Bowser's done some pretty bad stuff in his day, but you let him hang with you!"
"Bowser's a changed man," said Peach.
"I do it for the kids…" said Bowser tearfully.
Piranha Plant hung his head in shame. "Oh man… is there any way I can make it up to you guys?" he said truly remorseful.
Everyone laughed. "You should have thought about improving your image when you got here the first time, Plant!" said Mario. "Rosalina's still having flashbacks about when you barged through this door and massacred a lightyear's worth of baby Lumas!"
"Their cries… they still resonate deep within the confines of my very being…" Rosalina murmured as she rocked back and forth in a dark corner.
Piranha Plant belched. "But they all looked like candy!"
"Shut your yap, Plant!" snapped Mario. "From here on out, you'll go find some other universe to represent!" With that, Mario slammed the door.
… … … … … …
"I ain't got nobody!" Piranha Plant sung into the cloudy skies from under Whispy Woods. "That I can depend on!"
"Sing it loud and proud, Mac…" said a nasally purple voice.
Piranha Plant was surprised and looked behind the tree to see Waluigi, Shadow, and Isaac all wearing shades and playing the blues. Piranha Plant sneaked away from the no-hopers and sat down in front of a stream.
He wanted to sing some more, but he was starting to lose his passion. Without anyone to hear his beautiful voice, he felt just as hopeless as a Diddy Kong at Evo 2018.
Piranha Plant looked over at a patch off dirt by the stream. Maybe it was time to stop with this whole "character" act and return to the mob life. Maybe stationary was the new meta…
Piranha Plant hobbled clumsily over to the dirt and prepared to reroot himself into the soil. Just then, he heard quiet whimpering from beyond some nearby bushes. Piranha Plant peaked through the bushes and saw a chubby green Pokemon lounging by another part of the stream.
Piranha Plant decided it was best to leave the fellow alone. He had already ruined everyone else's day so far, so why bother causing any further damage?
Just then, Piranha Plant heard the gentle sniffling again. That's when he noticed the stocky reptile was actually crying. Great job, boyo. You made the little fella cry just by looking at him… he thought to himself.
He could not help but feel sorry for the Pokemon though. He recognised him as Ivysaur, a veteran that had been MIA for the past four years. When Piranha Plant first made the scene as a true Smasher, he felt pretty nervous about being around so many prominent fighters that had been brawling for years now. Seeing someone of such high esteem like Ivysaur broken down under the pressure was deeply disturbing. It made him realise that maybe he got more than he bargained for when Sakurai sent him that magical letter.
Ivysaur might not be the world's most well-known Smasher, but he's certainly more important than me, Piranha Plant said to himself. Why am I even here? Even Goomba would have made more sense…
Ivysaur looked over his shoulder and gasped as he and Piranha Plant's gazes met. He quickly wiped away his tears and looked away. Piranha Plant grinned awkwardly and hopped over to the veteran's side.
"Sorry for bothering you, fellow gamer," said Piranha Plant.
Ivysaur gave him a confused look. "You, uh… you caught me off guard with your hip young lingo, man…"
Piranha Plant grinned sheepishly again. "Oh yeah, I did." He shrugged. "I couldn't help it. I saw you all sad and stuff and I got sorta worked up myself."
"What do you mean?"
Piranha Plant was feeling more and more awkward with each passing second. "It must be tough being a part of something so big and loaded with hype. One wrong move and you could end up getting cut from the roster."
"Gee thanks for reminding me…" Ivysaur looked away in disgust.
Piranha Plant started sweating bullets. Oh gosh! I've offended another veteran! Why am I so bad at first impressions?
Ivysaur looked back at Piranha Plant. "I guess I should say 'congrats' since I never got around to it when you first got announced."
Piranha Plant let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thanks, I've been trying real hard to improve my image ever since… well, this morning…"
Ivysaur's face lit up. "Really? I had the same realisation this morning." Piranha Plant gave an interested nod. "It's been hard getting back into the swing of things. I don't really have anyone at the Pokemon house to train with. Charizard is a jerk, as always, and only spars with the new guy. Squirtle and I used to hang out a lot, but ever since he met another Water-type, we've been growing further and further apart." He chuckled. "A bit ironic since Sakurai decided it was a good idea to team us all back up after all this time…"
Piranha Plant frowned. "But you've got other Pokemon you can ask, right?"
"Nah, Lucario and Mewtwo have had this century-long feud that basically makes them partners and Pikachu's been taking care of Pichu. As for Jigglypuff… no one wants to go near that thing until we get the frame data."
Piranha Plant and Ivysaur stared down at the stream for a few minutes without saying a word. Piranha Plant turned to him nervously. "So what are you gonna do?"
"I came here to think over my decision and I think I'm gonna go through with it." Ivysaur stood up on his hind legs and put his hands on his hips. "I'm going to resign from Smash."
Piranha Plant spewed a load of poison into the stream in shock. "Quit!? You can't quit! You finally just got back in this joint, Ivysaur!"
"It doesn't matter. I'm sure Sakurai never actually wanted me in here anyway. I was just a placeholder since Charizard and Squirtle were wanted so badly. Bulbasaur and Venusaur were way more popular choices if it weren't for at least one of them."
"But that doesn't matter. You're a righteous dude! You solidified that spot on the roster, man!" Piranha Plant slowly calmed down. He looked down and sighed. "But I guess it's your choice… albeit, a stupid one…"
"I know it sounds stupid, but look at who's talking. I'm the most bizarre character choice next to Wii Fit Trainer."
Piranha Plant looked up. "You're wrong though. You totally deserve to be here, whether you like it or not. Do you know who doesn't deserve a spot?"
"Who?"
Piranha Plant stretched himself out fully. "Me! I'm a stinkin' mob! I can name over 9000 more deserving video game heroes and villains in one go! I mean, Shrek is even more viable when it really comes down to the hard truth!" Piranha Plant buried his fat face in his leaves. "Don't go, Ivysaur! You deserve to be here more than I do…"
Ivysaur was surprised to see the newcomer get so worked up. He placed a hand on his leafy shoulder. "It's okay. You're off to bigger and better things being here."
"No, I'm not, Ivysaur. I'm a terrible Smashville resident. I always clog the sink. I eat all the peach cobbler. I even helped Yoshi commit tax fraud last week!"
Ivysaur patted him on his stemmy back. "You're just going through a rough patch, pal. We're two of a kind."
Piranha Plant sniffled and sneezed out a spiky ball. Whispy Woods was heard screaming in immense pain as his barky batoot was impaled by the projectile. "You could never know what it's like…"
Ivysaur shrugged. "Your blood like winter freezes just like ice…"
Piranha Plant looked up surprised. "And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you?"
"You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use."
"Omigosh!" Piranha cried as he clicked his stubby heels together with glee. "You know Elton John?"
"I listened to a lot of music as a Bulbasaur. My trainer thought it would help me grow into a beefy smash dude."
"This is amazing! I've never met anyone besides my over 9000 relatives that have shown a deep appreciation for such classic tracks!"
"Really? Then you should come on over to my place sometime. We've got loads of great tunes!"
Piranha Plant smiled. "Hey, I've got an idea. You're the only one from your trio without a likeminded compadre and I'm looking for someone I can jam with. You wanna team up?"
"Team up? But you're not a Pokemon…"
"No sweat, bro. I'm a mob and Pokemon are kind of like mobs too. I think it'd make perfect sense for us to start up a dynamic duo. We can call ourselves the Grassy Boys!" Piranha Plant laughed heartily at the notion.
Ivysaur looked down nervously. He then nodded with a big toothy grin. "I think you'll make a great smasher someday, Piranha Plant."
Piranha Plant clapped his leaves together. "And I got myself the best teacher I can ask for!"
With that, the Grassy Boys headed back to the Pokemon house and prepared for a fun filled night of classic rock and cheesy nachoes.
Meanwhile, everyone else in Smashville died from the poisoned water supply, leaving Piranha Plant and Ivysaur at the top of the tier list until the DLC characters arrived later in the year.
THE END