.: Rockfart :.

A/N: This is a fanfiction were I place myself and friend in as Hogwarts students (Virginia is me, Amy is my friend). If you don't like that, THEN DON'T READ IT! Also, Amy will be getting with Draco, myself with Blaise. Don't like that either, THEN DON'T READ IT! There is going to be some seriously Pansy Parkinson bashing, maybe a little Hermione, Harry and Ron too. Don't like that, DON'T READ IT!

And as last; there is going to be a lot of sex/painful jokes in this story, don't like it ... well you know the rest. If you just want some teenager humor, go ahead and read. If you hate me for doing this, go ahead and flame me =D

(If you're wondering why the hell the story is called; Rockfart. Then you have to wait until next chapter to find out)

Chapter 1

There it was; Platform 9 ¾. Virginia smiled brightly at her friend, Amy who was sulking and glaring at everyone who dared to look at her. Virginia clasped her tongue and pulled her blonde haired friend with her.

"Could you just pretend that you're happy?" asked Virginia in a bored voice as she flicked her long blonde hair out of her face. Amy glared at her and smirked. "Just because you like school, doesn't mean I have to worship it too."

"I do not worship school!" Virginia burst out. "I'm simply saying that, if they can teach you hexes. What is more fun to change someone's hair colour over night?"

Amy giggled and thought about that. She looked at the crowd and quickly hopped on the train. Virginia trailed behind her, as if she was afraid to be lost. The two girls searched for an empty compartment and finally found one.

They sat opposite each other and played who could stare the longest without bursting into laughter. Blue versus blue eyes. Suddenly the train started moving and they both burst out into a fit of giggles.

"You know, we are probably the only ones that are those 'exchange students'," Amy commented. Virginia sighed and shrugged. "It's not like we have a choice, now do we?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "I hate it that we are new. We're going to be 5th years, and we haven't even got to our first, second, third and fourth!"

Virginia looked out of the window and sighed again. "Well, let's hope they won't give us much homework or something," she grinned as she saw Amy's face at the name of 'homework'.

She continued. "Oh yes, we're going to have lots and lots of homework," grinning as Amy was turning slightly green.

"Shut your trap or I'm going to stuff that wand of yours up your arse," Amy threatened.

Virginia giggled at her one of her daily threads. "Come on, lets change into our shiny new robes," she said happily and pulled out her robe from her trunk.

"I'll change later," Amy mumbled under her breath. Virginia changed into her school uniform and slumped down on her seat.

"Do you know, Harry Potter is attending the school too," Virginia spoke, as if she knew him personally.

Amy huffed. "I do not like this Potter person. I heard a lot of whispering around his name," she said.

"Well, duh," Virginia said dully. "It's because he's famous!" she explained like it was one of the most obvious things in the world.

Only Amy was a little vague about stating the obvious. She raised her eyebrows but shrugged it off. They sat a few minutes in silence when Amy smiled at Virginia for no reason.

Virginia already knew what she was smiling about. "When are you going to work on VS?" Amy asked excitedly.

Virginia sighed and frowned at her. "Well I don't know. It's a little hard when you are having a writers block!" she hissed at her.

Virginia is a wannabe writer. She had started a story that she called; Valentine Stone. She was already working 4 months on it. As soon as Amy read it, she had bugged her to death to work on it.

It would go like this;

-Poke- "Virginia," -Poke- "are you inspired yet," -Poke- "to work on VS," -Poke- "and give the new chapter to me?" -Poke-

Virginia would just glare defiantly at her and huff. Her response was rather vague; "If I know what to do, then I'll let you know."

Amy was now doing the same thing, yet again. -Poke- "Virginia," -Poke- "are you inspired yet," -Poke- "to work on VS," -Poke- "and give the new chapter to me?" -Poke-

Virginia slapped Amy's hand away and glared at her. "Why don't you just be a bad 'lil girl and dress in your robes?"

Amy looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "Does that mean I'll get the new chapter?" she asked, full of hope.

"Oh, bother."

--

They had finally arrived at Hogwarts. Amy thought it was weird to travel across the lake with some first years. Virginia just jabbed her side and sarcastically smiled at the first years in the boat. They looked frightened of the two girls. Virginia just smiled at them, while making sure Amy wouldn't go all sarcastic on them.

"Big huff, they have a lake. Why must they all go like; oooooh, I've never seen a lake!" Amy said undignified, crossing her arms.

"Well, it's because they have never seen such a huge castle in their lives," replied Virginia in awe. Amy looked up and was shocked by the view. A huge castle with many, many towers stood on a hill.

It was Hogwarts.

After they reached the shore, they were lead into the castle and waited in a small hall. Every first year was feeling very nervous, even the two new girls.

"Why are we waiting?" Virginia asked impatiently, she didn't like waiting for something she did not know. As soon as it escaped her red lips, a person in a green robe appeared from the doors. It was a woman with square black glasses.

"I'm professor McGonagall. At the other side of these doors is the Great Hall, where you are sorted into your houses. Your house will be your family; you will be in that house until you graduate. Now follow me," Professor McGonagall said very strictly and standard.

The first years started to follow the woman and they entered the Great Hall. Virginia nudged Amy's side and pointed at the ceiling.

Amy didn't got far, but was looking at the thousands of candles that were floating in the air. The two girls were gaping like fish, as were the other first years too. Soon the Great Hall where whispering, from all four tables. Virginia was sure they were talking about her and Amy, because they were a little bigger than the rest of the lot.

McGonagall stopped at the end, where all the teachers were seated. "Now, when I call out your name, please sit down so that you'll be sorted into your house."

McGonagall began calling out names, and every time the person would sit on the tiny stool and wear an overly large hat. Oh, and the overly large hat; it talks.

"Lee, Amy," the professor finally called out Amy. Amy smiled nervously at Virginia and walked on the steps, sat on the little stool and everything went dark after that.

Virginia looked at her friend as the McGonagall placed the hat on her. It took 3 seconds before it yelled out; SLYTHERIN!

The Slytherin table cheered as Amy walked towards it and sat next to a blonde haired boy. Virginia looked at her and hoped she would get in Slytherin too. It was only 5 more persons later when her name was called out.

"Paltry, Virginia,"

Amy looked at her friend as she sat down while the hat was placed on her head. Her view was blocked by a sudden mess of white blonde hair. Amy glared at the person.

"Do you mind?!" she snapped at him. He turned and looked her in the eye. Amy stopped complaining.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat yelled and Virginia left the hat and joined the table with all the cheering.

Amy looked away from the boy with grey eyes and let out a disappointing sigh. "Darn it, we aren't in the same house," she sulked. Virginia walked over to the cheering table.

Then the blonde haired boy started talking to her.

"You aren't a first year," he sneered at her. Amy smiled. "Well, it doesn't take that much brain to notice," she replied witty.

Suddenly, another person joined in the conversation. It was a boy with black hair and hazel eyes. He flashed her a politic smile.

"It's his way of saying; hello. My name's Blaise Zabini. And that git over there is Draco Malfoy," the boy explained, and pointed at the blonde haired boy.

"Hello, I'm Amy Lee. I think I'm going to be a 5th year," she replied with a smile. Amy sneaked a glance at this Draco person, but he was eating.

Amy looked at the table and it was full of food. She smiled and dug in.

Virginia was also disappointed because she didn't get into Slytherin. She took her seat next to a red haired girl. The girl smiled as she sat down.

"Hullo, you look a little old to be a first year," she said politely.

"Well, I am going to be a 5th year, so that explains it a bit," Virginia said nervously. The redhead smiled and extended her hand. "I'm Ginny Weasley. If you see another redhead out there, it's probably my brother," she chuckled.

Virginia shook her hand and giggled a bit. "Virginia Paltry, and I'll hope this brother of yours is as nice as you are,"

She looked across the hall and spotted Amy, sitting between two boys. She smiled as Amy looked up, and waved at her.

"Are you waving at the Slytherin table?" a male voice said suddenly. Virginia looked next to her and saw another redhead standing, looking at her as if she was lying.

"You must be Ginny's brother here," she said politely and smiled.

"Did you just waved at the Slytherin table?" he repeated. Virginia frowned. "So what if I did?" she asked, already disliking this guy.

"Slytherins are evil, you should not be waving at them," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Unlike Amy, Virginia was not vague on stating the obvious.

"Well my friend is a Slytherin, do you have a problem with that?" she glared at every possible candidate that even dared to utter the letter 'y'. The redheaded boy retreated from her.

"I'm sorry, that's my brother Ron. He is such a git, especially when it comes to Slytherins." Ginny said annoyed.

"Ah well, I can live with it," Virginia joked and glanced at the Slytherin table. It's going to be one hell of a year.