CHAPTER ONE
Gaius Travers, esteemed owner of the C Me Dance Club and Adult Bookstore saw Remus Lupin as he entered the establishment. Gaius frowned and snapped his fingers at Mystic Marlene Mckinnon, his best dancer. Remus rubbed his chin and sat down at the bar, taking in the atmosphere. Mystic Marlene approached him, her wig pink and her skimpy outfit even more pink.
"How about I dance for you while you hang out?" she said, twirling her hips and breasts to the danceable beats.
Remus, his expression unchanging, acted as though the dancer had no affect on him. He turned to her and lit a cigarette, smoke coming out the end like a snake coming out of a basket after a snake charmer charmed the snake.
"You're too pretty to be in this club," he said, after inspecting her closely. Damn, she was hot, he thought, but remained cool and composed. "The things you ladies do for money probably really ticks off the devil."
Mystic Marlene grinned at him and started to dance. "I like to live dangerously. Like I said, all I want to do is dance while my customers hang out. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"
Gaius, who was watching from afar, had a feeling that Remus would be spending a lot of money on Mystic Marlene tonight. He stroked his beard approvingly, snapping his fingers at his next best stripper: Acrobatic Anzhelina Dolohov, the Russian minx. Anzhelina flipped off the stripper pole one, two, three times and landed on her feet. The men in the audience clapped and threw money at her. Anzhelina went over to Marlene and Remus and danced next to Marlene, grinding against her.
Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Interesting," he said. But then suddenly, he stood up and turned his back to Anzhelina and Marlene, as if he were defying them. Defying the evil of their half-naked bodies. "No, you must stop this. I won't stand for you two beautiful ladies degrading yourselves on such a monumental level."
Gaius watched this exchange from afar; his nostrils flared. "Hey, man," he said, approaching Remus. "What's the deal, man? You don't come here and insult my ladies like this. Who do you think you are?"
Remus grabbed Gaius by the shirt, lifting him off the floor. "I'm Remus Lupin, a creature you don't want to mess with, and by the looks of it, you obviously know nothing of hell." Gaius tried to recoil, but Remus' tight, tight grip was way too tight.
"Hey, man! Chill a bit, won't you?"
Remus brandished a wad of money out of his trousers and waved it in front of Gaius' face. "I'll buy them both. I'm getting them out of this disgusting place, and taking them somewhere better."
"Now we're talking," Gaius' eyes lit up at the sight of the money. Remus could have sworn he saw dollar signs in them. "Just don't damage the merchandise, my man. You know what I'm sayin', dog? These are my best girls, and they need to look the same whenever you decide to bring them back." Gaius stepped back from him, adjusting his leather jacket and collecting himself.
Remus, in one swoop, tossed both Anzhelina and Marlene's limp bodies across his broad shoulders. Anzhelina and Marlene prostested, but Remus didn't notice. "Ready?" he said charmingly. They shook their heads. Remus exited the pub, leaving Gaius standing there open-mouthed. "Man, that guy has style. I wish I were that cool," he said, and pocketed the money into his leather pants. He was wearing a matching ensemble.
"You fucking idiot!" Anzhelina said to Remus once they got outside. "I didn't ask to go anywhere!"
Remus smirked at her. "That's because you don't know what's best for you. But never fear -- I'll protect you both now. Think of me as your guardian angel."
Marlene rolled her eyes; Anzhelina looked unimpressed as well. Remus led them both to his motorcycle. "Hop on," he said. "I'll take you for a drive, to a place where the Devil's long, grasping hands can't reach."
Marlene snorted loudly. "We better be getting paid for this," she said, but did as Remus told her.
Remus drove the strippers into the sunset on the back of his motorcycle. They held on for dear life as he sped cooly through the streets, zooming past people and not giving a damn about predestrians. He sped and sped until finally he came to a halt. They had reached his apartment. Marlene and Anzhelina hopped off and crossed their arms over their huge chests. Remus hopped off as well, pants squeaking sexily and heeled boots making sharp noises on the wet pavement.
"So are you going to take us upstairs or what? We don't have all night, you know." Marlene asked him, looking annoyed.
Remus smirked. "Hold your horses," he said in his baritone timbre. Remus opened the door and led him up the narrow staircase. They followed. Once they reached the door to his apartment, he allowed them to walk ahead of him. Once they were inside, he unbuttoned his shirt and revealed taut muscles, dripping with unexplainable sweat and defined. Marlene and Anzhelina glanced at each other, then, they started to disrobe themselves before Remus stuck out one hand and pressed it flat into the air.
"No. Don't." he said dramatically. "Not tonight."
"Tonight we'll sleep. Sleep our problems away. Sleep until the roosters wake us in the morning, or the sun from the windows shines on us like God shining down from the heavens in a magical display of this earth's beauty."
Marlene and Anzhelina rolled their eyes. "Fine," they said in unison, and looked rather bored as Remus drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Instead of sleeping with him, they dug his wallet out of his trousers and pulled out his remaining cash, stuffing it in their respective bras.
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The next morning, Anzhelina and Marlene were awoken by the sounds of banging pots and pans. Remus was standing naked in his kitchen, cooking them breakfast. Anzhelina and Marlene had cuddled and slept very close to each other out of habit, and looked up at Remus with confused expressions.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Anzhelina asked. "I hope you don't expect us to eat that."
Remus turned around smiling, revealing everything to them. It swung back and forth like a small child on a swingset. "You must eat. You two must be hungry. I imagine Gaius Travers doesn't feed you very well in that wretched place of sin." Anzhelina and Marlene shrugged -- he had a point. Gaius Travers wasn't very kind to them.
"That's more like it," he said, giving them plates filled with all kinds of delicious breakfast foods. "Eat up," he continued. "We've got a lot to do today. We must also get you two some appropriate clothes. You can't run around town in those outfits."
Marlene looked offended. "But this is how we dress!"
Anzhelina looked a little offended as well. "Yeah -- why can't we wear what we want?"
Remus wagged his finger at them to silence them. "God doesn't want you to. Like I said before, this existence of ticking off the devil must come to an end."
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Marlene and Anzhelina's eyes drifted to it. Remus pressed his finger to his lips, shushing them. He pulled a gun out of oven and cocked it, sneaking towards the door. He peered through the peephole. There was yet another sharp, hard knock. Remus' expression of fear turned into a grin as he saw who it was. Kingsley Shacklebolt was on the other side of the door. Remus pulled it open, and they embraced each other in a tight hug.
"Shit," Kingsley said. "Who did you think I was?"
Remus lowered his voice. "One can never be too certain these days. The Devil has many disguises."
"Kingsley, I'd like you to meet the two strippers that I picked up. They're very lovely women, and they're very happy I was able to rescue them." Remus said, pointing to the two half-naked women on his bed. Kingsley wiped his brow.
"Damn. You're not kidding," he said. "Nice to meet you, ladies. The name's Kingsley Shacklebolt. I'm an LAPD officer, but a cool one, if you know what I mean."
Anzhelina and Marlene looked impressed at his introduction. They giggled and blushed, obviously more into him than Remus Lupin.
"Anyway," Kingsley went on, turning back to Remus after giving the ladies a saucy wink. "You need to watch your back, Remus. After you left the strip club, the Devil was hot on your tail. I think he already got to the owner of the strip club. Last night, I found a pair of leather trousers in one of the dumpsters outside."
That bastard," Remus said. He slammed his fist into a wall angrily, making a hole. "Well, he won't get to us. I'll make sure of it."
Kingsley looked worried. He knew they didn't stand a chance against their enemy without a well constructed plan of action. "Hey, don't get too cocky. You don't know what he's capable of, and since you've gone and ticked him off even more by rescuing his strippers, I can't imagine how angry he is right now. Shiiiit. Just promise me you'll watch your back."
Remus shook his head. "I promise," there was a short pause. Remus' eyes looked Kingsley up and down. "You know, you've always looked out for me."
"Well, that's what friends are for," Kingsley smiled, patting him on the back.
Remus stepped closer. "Friends? Is that really all we are after all these years?"
"Uh," he said nervously, taking a quick step backwards. "I gotta run. I'll talk to you later, all right? Stay out of trouble. And please just remember that the Devil won't rest until he's killed you and your strippers." With that, Kingsley backed out of the door and was gone.
Remus turned around and looked at Marlene and Anzhelina, who were watching with amused expressions. "Finish your food," Remus said. "We can't stay here much longer. I must get you two to safety. I don't think you understand how important it is. You're my responsibility, strippers, and I won't let you down."
Anzhelina and Marlene both nodded, finally realizing how serious the situation was. Remus disappeared into another room, and seconds later, emerged fully clothed, the beast between his legs unfortunately no longer in sight. Wind blew and knocked the windows open, sending a breeze through his hair. He put his sunglasses on.
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It wasn't long before they were all back outside. Kingsley had swapped the motorcycle for a van, hoping to throw the Devil off. His plan was to crash the motorcycle into a river, hoping the Devil would think someone had gotten to Remus and the strippers first. Marlene and Anzhelina both piled into the front passenger seat. Remus hopped in on the other side. They sped off, and as they did, Remus pressed a button on his wristwatch. Behind them, the building exploded. Flames shot into the air.
"All right," Remus said. "Let's roll."