The Life We Saved
"What's your deal Winchester?" BJ demanded upon seeing his tent mate's return.
"You made it abundantly clear earlier that you would not understand my 'deal' as you put it," Charles answered.
"Is this about your sudden fascination with death?" the captain asked, tired of the major's behavior.
Charles pulled BJ into the supply room for some privacy. "It isn't merely a fascination Hunnicutt," Winchester corrected sadly. Charles sat on a box and removed his hat. "We brought a man back to life the other day."
"That isn't exactly a rare occurrence around here."
"No, thanks to this hellish war, it isn't, but a rarity did occur that day," the major held up his hat and showed the captain the two holes at the back.
It didn't take BJ but a second to process what must have happened. He leaned against the wall for support. He felt like such an ass. "Charles, I'm so sorry." It was the first thing that came to mind after he shook the image of the major lying dead in front of him. "If I'd known."
"I wouldn't have acknowledged that anything was wrong and brushed off, or snapped at, you, or anyone else that tried to help."
BJ let out a dark chuckle, "You're probably right, but if I had known, you at least would've had someone to talk to when you realized your pride wouldn't help you this time."
Charles sighed, he knew it was the truth. "Indeed, you're right Hunnicutt—BJ."
"I know, and I'm still willing to listen if you're willing to talk." Now BJ leaned against the wall in the friendly, yet cocky way he's known to, wearing his signature grin.
The major nodded and began telling BJ everything. Charles explained what he'd been feeling, recounted the memory of his brother's death, and told him all that happened up at the aid station. BJ listened to it all, staying silent the entire time Winchester spoke, but at some point he had sat down next to the man in pain. BJ knew he was in pain, not just from his words, but by the countless tears falling from eyes that didn't really see the supply room, but re-saw a dying soldier holding onto a stranger's hand for dear life.
BJ rubbed Charles' back, it was all he could do. He knew that no matter how much he wanted to help his sometimes friend through this, actually trying to hold him would be the wrong way to go unless Charles reached out to him. When the major finished speaking he was still crying, and he seemed to just then register that's what he'd been doing, but instead of trying to hastily recover his dignity he looked at BJ, who wore a gentle look of concern, and embraced him. Clung to him as a life preserver is more like it.
When Charles' tears ceased he sat upright again and tried to make himself look as presentable as possible before looking at BJ. He felt so bad about a number of things. How he'd acted these past few days culminated most of them, including how he'd broken down crying in front of, and on, his colleague.
Charles cleared his throat in preparation for an apology, but was cut off by BJ. "Don't you dare apologize for acting human for once."
"I was only going to apologize for getting your favorite shirt all wet," the major lied. "And for my behavior as of late."
"Given who you are, and how far out of your comfort zone you were forced to come, not to mention the less than comfortable memories that resurfaced, I'd say that your actions were understandable," BJ placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I'm just not sure that's how Potter will see things."
Charles sighed. "I hadn't even thought of him."
"I'll try and help you, maybe remind him of a few of Hawkeye's stunts, without completely throwing him under the bus of course," BJ offered.
"Thank you Beej," Charles said gratefully. He was pleasantly surprised to hear that BJ was going to help him even further. If BJ were female Charles would've kissed him, not that the want to wasn't still present.
"It's no trouble Charles, I like helping the people I care about," BJ told him.
"You care about me?" the major asked skeptically.
"Of course, why wouldn't I?" the captain grinned. It was why he'd been riding the major so hard, he'd been worried, but knew Charles wouldn't accept his help.
"I just didn't realize there was anyone here that actually cared about me," Charles said, fighting a blush. "I am pleasantly surprised to find that I was wrong."
"We may not always see eye to eye, but I'd hate to see this place break you. If you ever need someone to talk to again, I'm in the book," BJ smiled.
"Thank you," Charles returned the smile, and for the first time since he was a child his mouth worked faster than his mind and he instantly regretted saying "but what am I to do if I need, or want to do something more than talk?" The major feared for the captain's response. He'd only just opened up to this man and realized he had a friend in this camp, but now he's probably just shot it all to hell.
BJ was surprised by the question, but was happy for it. He could, and would make his move now that there was an invitation, and after his wife's last letter about her affair he was going to RSVP.
BJ stepped closer to Charles and smirked. "Didn't I just say that I'm in the book?" With that he kissed the major.
Charles was shocked to say the least. When BJ pulled away he asked "What about Peg?"
"While you were at the aid station I got a letter from her saying that she was having an affair. I plan to divorce her."
No sooner had the captain finished his sentence that the major was kissing him like a desperate man. They made out and made their way further into the shelves before falling in a heap on the much used mattress and putting it through its paces.
Afterwards they laid together sweaty and panting, but sexually sated and emotionally satisfied. Neither knew if, or how long this relationship would last, but both knew that they could rely on the other for help even while outside the O.R. and that was a damn good place to start.