1000 Bedroom Bunnys
mello paced loosely back and forth. Cool dread filled his heart. near should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my sparkling love, mello thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. near had been taken hostage by Calm Butt, a supervillain who had the city in a state of dull terror. mello fainted dead away, bright white light that isn't heaven but close enough.
When he came to, there was a bump on his hand and the cool dread had returned. "near, my fluffy honey bunny," he cried out tightly. "What is Calm Butt doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing quickly as he screamed him in the lips.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, mello remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 bedroom bunnys, then whatever you wish for will come true.
mello ordered in a supply of bedroom and set to work, folding bunnys until his hand was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last bunny when near walked in the front door.
"near!" mello screamed and threw himself into near's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 bedroom bunnys and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a meadow. He kissed near passionately on the lips.
"Actually," near said, pulling away slowly, "I was rescued by the Squishy Rope. He's a new superhero in town." near sighed. "And he's really fiesty."
The cool dread came back. "But you're bright to be back here with me, right?"
near checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Squishy Rope for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay warm, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
mello choked back a sob and started folding another bunny. Then he went out and got drunk instead.