Your Protector

Disclaimer: Do not own anything in regards to Bioware or Mass Effect.

In ME1, my Commander Shepard romanced Kaidan Alenko. Then in ME2, I romanced Garrus. So in ME3, I was expecting more of a confrontation between the three characters and was sorely disappointed when the only time it was mentioned was when Kaidan was in the hospital. I wrote this fan fiction because I believe their would be more intensity (and yes, even drama) in regards to Shepard's interactions with both Kaidan and Garrus in ME3. Will contain flashbacks.

This is my second fan fiction. Reviews are always appreciated.

Shit this was awkward but it had to be done. Major Kaidan Alenko of the Alliance Navy was a major pain in the ass as far as Garrus was concerned. It was true, Kaidan's biotics were immensely powerful, a magnitude of force that was formidable and impressive. His tech skills rivaled Garrus and Tali's abilities which was not an insignifigent feat. Then there was the fact that he managed to be promoted twice in two years within the Alliance Navy and now he was appointed as the second human Spectre by the Council.

"A great resume," mumbled Garrus under his breath. Despite Alenko's accomplishments, there was the unrelenting fact that he had single handedly managed to break Jamison's heart into a thousand undecipherable pieces and left her in the dust without a backwards glance. Jamison he thought. Not Commander, not Commander Shepard, not even just Shepard, she was Jamison. When the commander had first told Garrus her first name, he had stuttered and stumbled over the unfamiliar syllables but now her name came easily and thoughtlessly. As protocol determined, Garrus always paid Shepard the proper respect by using her formal title on the field or in front of the crew. Then there were the softer moments when they were alone and she was simply Jamison again. Garrus thought fondly on their time together in the main battery as he rallied the necessity of constant calibrations or when they were alone in her cabin…

Your about to confront her ex-boyfriend about his abdominal behavior, Vakarian. This really isn't the best time for fantasizing. It was a rational argument but Garrus still couldn't help the thoughts that flooded his consciousness. There was a particular memory that Garrus could never forget…

It was after the Collector base and before the destruction of the Bahak system, when both Shepard and Garrus had taken shore leave in Illium. Liara had offered the use of her apartment now that she was firmly established as the Shadow Broker and the apartment was left conveniently vacant.

"Do you want to see a vid?" Garrus had asked her. Garrus was still shaky with the idea of taking shore leave with Shepard. He enjoyed being with her but what did the illustrious Commander Shepard do with her free time? When did she have free time? Joker had informed him that all women loved going on dates and Tali confirmed this was correct. Hell, even EDI has chimed in with providing information regarding human courtship behavior and mating customs.

The only problem is that Shepard was proving to be the exception to the rule. Of all the women in the entire galaxy, Jamison Shepard didn't want to go out on a date and for the life of him, Garrus couldn't figure out why. But of course Jamison Shepard wouldn't be like most women. Everything about her was anything but ordinary.

Jamison raised an eyebrow in response, "Do you really want to see Blasto?" They were sitting in Liara's living room, close together on the couch. As the darkness of night settled in, they had cracked open a couple of beers and the fireplace was rumbling quietly with dancing flames. It was a peaceful setting.

"It's got great reviews," he countered.

Jamison laughed, "If you want to we can. It's your shore leave too and I'm not about to be selfish."

"Commander Shepard? Selfish? I don't think the two concepts have ever crossed paths."

Shepard almost choked on her beer. "I didn't think sarcasm was a Turian trait," she sputtered ungraciously.

It was Garrus' turn to laugh as he took one of her hands gently into his, always careful not to scratch her with his talons. "You know it's true. Your one of the most selfless people I've ever met." Finally, the smile broke across Jamison's face. It was a rare and beautiful thing these days and Garrus found he was developing an appetite for her smiles. "Of course, we could always go dancing if you prefer…" Shepard gasped in fake shock and punched his arm. It didn't hurt, Garrus thought to himself unconvincingly. "Now that was sarcasm," he added, rubbing his arm.

Shepard shook her head, placing her hand on his shoulder and leaning over to kiss the Turian equivalent of a cheek. "It better be."

Garrus caught her hand, wanting her to stay close. "Hey…there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Okay," Shepard replied nonchalantly using her diplomatic voice. This was the voice that Shepard reserved when she didn't know if the situation was good or bad but she was determined not to display any emotion. Garrus had heard it countless times and he felt a slight twinge of guilt at the idea of causing her distress. Shepard had developed the habit of assuming the worst about any given situation. He couldn't blame her for it.

Rather than reassuring her with words, Garrus let go of her hand and carefully removed his visor. Typically speaking, Garrus only did this when certain 'physical' activities were about to take place but this was an exception. Garrus turned it to the left side where the names of his team on Omega were inscribed. Above the eleven names, there was a singular name all by itself: Jamison.

Jamison green eyes flashed up to meet his in unexpected surprise. "Garrus…" she started out. "Thank you."

Garrus placed the visor on the coffee table and turned his entire body to face her. This was too important and he didn't want Shepard to miss a word. "We're not really an average couple…so I don't know how to do…boyfriend things or human things for that matter." Shepard was about to interrupt but he shook his head. "You better let me get this out because despite our romantic involvement, I've actually been meaning to say this quite for some time."

Shepard nodded silently, biting her lip in anticipation.

"When I lost my crew on Omega, I can't tell you how long I blamed myself and my own recklessness for their deaths. I know that there was nothing I could do save them, outside of anticipating Sidonis' betrayal which clearly did not happen. But these events…they changed me Jamison. It made me realize that as long as it's in my power to help people, namely the people I care about, then I must to everything to protect them…to save them if I can."

"You can't save everyone," she brought out softly, reflecting on her own losses.

"No, I can't but that doesn't mean I won't damn well try."

Shepard sighed out of frustration and worry. "Garrus, I know you want to protect me but you can't take all of this responsibility on to your shoulders. There may come a day when you won't be able to help me."

"I know that Jamison, trust me I need you to understand." With this pause, Garrus again reached out for her hand and placed it over his chest. "I care about you. The galaxy lost you once and I may not be able to prevent that from happening again. But I want you to know that I will do everything in power to help you, to protect you…to save you if I can. As long as I can help it, I'm keeping you alive. I will always have your back Jamison. It's a promise."

The tears that were brimming in Jamison's eyes finally poured forth and all Garrus could do was take her in his arms, praying to the spirits that she was crying out of joy and not sorrow. Turian's didn't cry but he had known that humans did so when experiencing pain or sadness or even happiness. But Shepard was a surprising human. She rarely cried and when she did so, it was always unexpected.

Garrus was even more surprised when her sobs finally silenced and she looked up to him with desire shining in her eyes. "Make love to me, Garrus," she whispered. In that moment he found everything about her irresistible.

Shaking off the memory, Garrus exited the main battery. It's time, your procrastinating. Every stride towards Starboard Observation was becoming increasingly difficult. Garrus tried to blame in on the various hits he took from the Cerberus skirmish on the Citadel but even as the thought occurred, he knew it was a lie. At first Garrus thought he didn't want to have this conversation with Kaidan and that was the explanation for his delay. Then the realization occurred…. Garrus wanted to talk with Kaidan.

Pausing momentarily, he slowly realized that he had been waiting for this moment where he could finally confront Kaidan about the past. The man had called her a traitor on Horizon, even when she faced hell and fury for the greater good, working with Cerberus to protect the colonies. Kaidan had questioned Shepard's allegiance to the Alliance, even when she turned herself into custody for no other reason than protecting the galaxy from the Reaper threat. The last straw was when Kaidan drew his gun on her, thinking he was protecting the Council and still entertaining the idea she could potentially be working with Cerberus.

But Shepard knew them both too well: The moment Garrus' talon touched the trigger she was ordering him to stand down and before Kaidan could utter another insult, she lowered her gun.

So why did I wait? Why have I been putting this off? The question had lingered as Garrus pushed the console button, opening the door to the Observation deck.

Kaidan looked up from a data report to see Garrus standing in the doorway. His brows furrowed for a half a second but he immediately resumed a blank expression.

"Hi Garrus," he stated calmly. "What can I do for you?

Fear his mind whispered. I'm afraid for her and what this man can do to her. And what if I can't stop it?