There is a rumor going around that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. And it's the worst kind of rumor because it is a true rumor. Just another bit of madness from yours truly.
Rumor Has It
"Guys you are not going to believe the latest intelligence reports we are getting," Q-Ball walked into the rec room where Doc and Zach were sitting watching television.
"If it's anything like that report that the Queen of the Crown was thinking of starring in a musical number on Broadway, you're right. We won't," Zach told him. "Especially considering the source."
"Hey, Geezy the Pedulant does come up with a lot of good information and tips in his underground radio programs," Q-Ball defended the part time alien scoundrel, part time merchant who was also a full time spy against the Crown on Tortuna.
"He also has come up with the most insane gossip I have ever heard of," Doc remarked. "Like that one where Nimrod likes to dress up in little sailor suits and pretend he's some kind of hero."
"Actually that one I could believe," Zach remarked. "Remember that stupid outfit he wore the last time we encountered him."
"How could anyone with a pair of functioning eyes forget?" Doc blanched.
"Well this piece of gossip you are not going to believe," Q-Ball said. "It seems Gooseman has a new love interest. A one sided love interest but a big one."
"Let me guess, the Queen?" Doc smirked.
"Worse," Q-Ball sighed.
"Nimrod?" Zach asked.
"Worse."
"A Traash Warrior?" Doc blinked. Q-Ball shook his head. "Worse? How could it get any worse than that?"
"Kilbane," Q-Ball said. "Ryker Kilbane is in love with Shane Gooseman."
"Excuse me I don't think I heard that correctly," Zach did a double take. "Are you saying…?"
"Yes," Q-Ball nodded.
"And Geezy is telling people this on his show?" Doc blinked.
"Yes."
"Does Goose know about this rumor?" Zach's eyes widened.
"WHAT?" Shane Gooseman could be heard throughout BETA Mountain. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
"He's heard," Doc said.
"I'LL KILL HIM!" Shane burst through the room, mad as an angry Supertrooper can get. "I'LL PERSONALLY WRING THE NOSE INTO KNOTS OF THAT BIG MOUTHED ELEPHANT FACED FREAK IF IT IS THE LAST THING I EVER DO!"
"So I take it you and Kilbane aren't going to register your wedding china at Lacy's department store?" Doc snickered.
Shane gave him a look that would have killed him on sight. "Wrong thing to say at the wrong time, Doc," Zach sighed.
"Now Gooseman," Doc gulped as he backed away. "Come on now. Nobody is going to take that rumor seriously. Come on. We're friends. Buddies. Friends joke about little things like that. Come on, man. You're not really gonna hurt me now over a stupid thing Geezy said now are you?"
"You know I can see it," Q-Ball thought aloud. "It does explain a few things. Why he's so obsessed with you Gooseman."
"Really the wrong thing to say at the worst possible time, Q-Ball," Zach put his head in his hands, knowing full well what was coming.
"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!" An animal like roar bellowed from Shane's mouth as he chased Doc and Q-Ball around the room and out the door.
"Better call the infirmary and give them a head's up," Zach sighed. "Boy I'd hate to be Geezy right now. If Goose is this upset I can imagine how Kilbane is taking this."
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Somewhere on Tortuna…
KAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"And there goes another city block," Brainchild laughed as he watched the city's destruction from his hotel room.
"I AM GOING TO TEAR OUT THE TONGUES OF EVERY STINKING LIAR IN THIS STINKING CITY!" Kilbane roared. "THEN I AM GOING TO PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL HOW MUCH I HATE GOOSEMAN BY KILLING HIM!"
"This is perfect!" Brainchild cackled. "I get revenge on both Kilbane and Gooseman in one shot!"
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"Not to mention the Queen of the Crown for stiffing me on my last check," Brainchild snickered. "Why I didn't think of this years ago?"
"BRAINCHILD!" Kilbane roared. "COME OUT HERE! I KNOW YOU TOLD THE PEDULANT ABOUT THIS! COME OUT AND DIE LIKE A MAN!"
"Oh right, now I remember," Brainchild gulped as he ran for his life.