Guilt. Sadness. Anger. Pain. Anger. Guilt. Humiliation. Hatred. Guilt.

I cheated. And I cheated bad.

Nope. Not just a kiss or a date.

Sex.

Ugh.

What kind of horrible monster have I become?

Hurting my best friend. My lover.

All because I couldn't resist.

And resist what exactly?

A stupid douch-bag, who made me feel bad for him.

Stupid. Jerk. I hate him.

I can't hate him though. I was the one who cheated. He'd murmured once or twice, not to do this.

That I'd be hurting her. And I know I did.

I have to tell her.

"I'm sorry"

"What do you mean by, 'I'm sorry'?"

"I mean, i'm sorry I didn't think about you. I'm sorry I didn't think.. I'm sorry I can't be with you because I can't trust my self with you. I can't trust my self. I don't want to hurt you. Ever. And I think I just have."

"Mikayla? What happened?"

"I fucked up."

You'd think she'd dump me. Right then and there. But no. She's Mitchie. She's got a heart the size of the sun.

So she takes me back. And I'm just so happy.

I love her so fucking much.

But it's so hard.

When she's gone.

And I'm alone.

With no one.

But me.

And Nate.

Nate.

The sweet caring friend of both me and Mitchie.

He loved us both.

But not like that.

So how then did I get him to fuck me, and fuck me hard in her truck the night after she left for tour.

Maybe he does love me.

Ugh.

I can't have that.

So I call her.

And tell her.

And again, she forgives me.

She flies me out to her tour so I can be with her.

It's amazing, how I love her so much.

But I still hurt her.

Being with her never hurt this much.

She never made me feel so good, and so bad, at the same time.

She doesn't even acknowledge what I did. She plays it off, like nothing happened.

We kiss. We laugh. We make love.

And I can't help but know the difference between Nate and Mitchie.

With her, its love. With him, its loneliness, frustration, and lust.

Shane, Nate and Jason visit us on tour.

Its fun and games till we have to drop Jason back to the airport. Michie and Shane drive him back. He's meeting his fiancée.

He's so lucky.

And this time it's different.

Mitchie's not away from me.

I'm not depressed.

At least not when it began.

So yeah, Nate and I fuck. And we fuck hard.

Against the door. On the floor.

And then the door's opening.

Nate and I fumble to put clothing on.

He ends up in the bathroom.

I end up in a robe.

Mitchie knows.

I know, she knows.

But, once again, she doesn't say anything.

I talk to her again in the morning. She sighs. We talk about love, hurt, and trust.

She's not mad. And it's starting to piss me off.

"How can you not be mad!?"

"People make mistakes, Mikayla. I know."

"Yes, but Mitchie. I-I love-you."

"Really, Mikayla?"

I stare at her.

She walks away.

I let her.

I jog the next day.

When I become too lazy to move, I sit on a bench and think.

Mitchie finds me sitting on the same bench 30 minutes later.

She sits next to me and looks deep into my tired eyes.

Then she kisses me.

And it's like nothing ever happened.

"I'm sorry"

"No. Mitchie, you have every right to hate me. I would hate me. But I love you for not hating me. I'm so sorry."

We kiss again. Whispered "I love you's" making up for wasted time.

I'm happy.

I now know how Mitchie must have felt.

I walk in and to Mitchie in a tight lip lock with Shane.

But I walk back out.

If she tells me, before I find out, then I know she trusts me as much as I trust her.

I still love her.

This is just how I'm going to win her back.

She confesses the next day. Breaking down into tears, much like I had.

Says something about, "anger, hate, and experiment" but I don't hear any of it.

She trusts me. I trust her.

She loves me. I love her.

It's Mitchie's birthday. I decide to make her breakfast in bed.

Nate and Shane flew in last night, along with Miley and Lilly. They seem closer now. Everyone can be happy.

Miley sneaks up behind me. She wraps her arms around me from behind, resulting in spilt milk.

She kisses my neck, and whispers, "Nate says you give a good fuck"

I'm trapped.

Mitchie isn't up for another two hours. Using her birthday as a lazy day.

She deserves it.

I have to tell her. But it can wait.

Breakfast with her is cute. The way she jumps up at the smell of the chocolate chip pancakes makes me fall deeper under her spell.

I love her.

So I have to tell her.

Turns out Miley told her.

She gets mad this time.

I wish she hadn't. She's angry as hell.

She pushes me hard. I land on the floor but I drag her down with me.

She laughs. A bitter, happy laugh.

"I love you so fucking much. Why the hell do you do this to me?"

She never curses.

I can't apologize. Because she's getting tired of it.

I kiss her. She kisses back. Hard.

It results in angry frustrated sex.

But it's not just sex.

The way she holds me when I'm coming down, the way her touch is so gentle.

Its nice.

Its love.

We love each other.

2 months later, and she's done touring. We get back to our loft.

We make love.

I make her breakfast the next morning.

We shower together.

We get groceries together.

We go jogging and sit on benches together.

We laugh together.

We forget together.

"Nothing will make me not love you. I know, we've had our rough patches, and I never want them to happen again. Even though you didn't show it, I know you were hurting. I was hurting and you only kissed him. I'm sorry. Again.

I love you. And that's why I'm doing this."

"Mitchie Torres. Will you marry me?"

She doesn't say anything.

She doesn't have to.

Her smile gives her away.

We are happy now. The past is the past.

She's gotten amazing songs out of it.

Songs I wish weren't written for me, but whatever.

So cheaters do prosper after all. I got her back.

And we are happy.

I love waking up with her in my arms every morning.

I love her wake up kiss.

I love making her breakfast.

I love her.

And no one can change that.

Reviews make me happy. Anybody else, got cavities? :P