Solid Ground

by C.J. Taylor

Edward has a dark past. Can Bella help him get his life back together, or will he fall back into his old ways in the wake of a family tragedy? AU AH BPOV. First fic, be easy on me.

1. Part I

Soundtrack:

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Especially in Michigan

Matchbox Twenty - All Your Reasons

Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me up

**NOTE*** I edited Part I on 1.19.09. I felt I had rushed through the beginning and wanted to fix it a bit so, it's fixed. Feel free to re-read.

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Part I.

It was an absolutely beautiful day. The Florida sun warmed my body and caught in my hair as I lay in the grass, and I wondered why, for the millionth time, I had decided to pack up my things and move to Allendale, Michigan.

College. Oh Right.

I wasn't feeling well just thinking about my move from sunny Boca Raton, Florida. Sure, Michigan may have great summers, but I didn't see the point when the other half of your year is spent running against wind and snow. I sighed and reminded myself that this was my choice and mine alone. I had to go to college and my mother wanted to pursue her acting career in LA. There was no room for me in her life right now, this was her time. Charlie, my father, lived a stone's throw away from my new school, Grand Valley State University. It was time for me to take up a permanent residence with him.

I sat up as I heard my mother, Renee, approach and smiled up at her, hiding my growing unease. "Ready Mom?" I asked brightly. Oops, maybe too brightly.

"Bella…" she started, and I held up my hand."

"Mom, enough." I kept a firm tone to my voice. "I want to spend some time with Charlie and Grand Valley is a great school. I need a change of scenery anyway, and California isn't really my thing." I lied. "We've been over this."

Renee reached down to help me up. I could see her light brown eyes were getting misty. "I know," she said, sounding resigned. "You know anytime you want to stay with Phil and I you're more than welcome. I'm keeping money aside so I can fly you out."

"I know that Mom." I said gently, putting my hand on her arm and forcing a smile.

Phil was Renee's boyfriend. He was, I suspected, the real reason she was moving. Phil owned two night clubs in Eastern Florida and since business only did well during the tourist season he had developed some big plan to open up some clubs in California. Along with it he had promised Renee that a late blossoming acting career was just ahead. He was young, but I did like Phil. My mom needed a little direction, and I knew I could trust him to give it to her.

As Renee and Phil finished packing up the car I stood in the doorway of our small home, looking out towards the street. I memorized the lines of the palm trees and blue of the sky, taking small and even breaths.

"Bella!" Phil called from the car. "We're ready!"

I forced myself forward, silently saying goodbye to my childhood home.

*****

The flight went smoothly, minus the butterflies in my stomach the entire way. I did a good job of hiding my emotions, but suppressing them on the inside was another story. My face was blank, but my mind was racing. As the plane landed and I stood to exit the plane my knees began to feel weak.

When I reached the baggage claim Charlie was waiting for me, looking as awkward as usual in a flannel red shirt and blue jeans. We shared a brief hug, and after grabbing my luggage we started towards his beat up blue Chevy pick-up without a word. My eyes widened when I saw the truck, I couldn't believe he still had that thing. Actually I was more surprised it was still running.

"Thanks a lot for picking me up Charlie." I finally said when we reached the entrance ramp to the freeway. He cringed as I said his name instead of Dad. I glanced at him with a look of guilt and made a mental note to try harder not to do that from now on.

"Sure Bella, it's no problem. You really didn't expect to have to take a taxi home did you?" He shot me a lop-sided grin from the driver's seat and I relaxed a little, letting out a small laugh.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Charlie and I were very much alike in that way, we felt comfortable in silence. He didn't feel the need to dote, and I didn't feel the need to pretend I was ecstatic about this move. I'm sure he knew the truth. We may not have spent much time together in our lives, but he did know me. I was more like him than Renee in almost every way possible.

I watched the scenery pass by as we drove. Grand Rapids seemed like a promising city, full of life. As we passed through I felt a small tug of excitement for the first time. Once we hit Allendale though, things became a bit sparser. There were plenty of fast food restaurants and stores, but also just as many fields of nothingness to go with them. Were those all cow fields? I bit my lip.

"Do you want to see your campus Bells?" Charlie asked, moving into the left lane. I just nodded; I knew he'd take me regardless. He slowly turned into the school's main road.

As we passed under a blue "Grand Valley State University" archway my anticipation grew. I saw a few summer-term students lounging on benches and walking in and out of large buildings. The town may not have been much, but the campus was beautiful. I couldn't deny that. Right now, in the August heat, I had renewed hope.

"It's real nice here in the summer Bells." Charlie said, trying to be convincing. "I know you're not too happy about these bad winters we get, but you'll get used to them. It's no Boca Raton, but I think you'll grow to love it."

I just continued to stare out of the passenger window silently, hoping that was true.

*****

I had spent a few summers with Charlie when I was a child, but since I was about 8 years old he had come down to Florida to visit me for two weeks out of the year so my memories of his home were dim. When we pulled up I was surprised to see that he had kept it up well. It was a small but neat brick home situated upon a decent sized piece of land on a quiet dead-end street. I silently thanked my lucky stars it was two floors. I liked my privacy and I remembered that my bedroom would be upstairs, along with a full bathroom. Charlie stayed in the master bedroom on the first floor. That would give me some room to breathe.

Charlie grabbed my larger bags as I grabbed my carry-on and headed into the house; before Charlie reached the door he stopped and said casually over his shoulder "That car in driveway is yours Bells."

I stopped, confused for a moment. I slowly turned towards the dirt driveway and my mouth fell open. Sitting there was a bright red, and slightly dated LeBaron. It was a bit boxy, but it looked reliable, which was perfect for an accident-magnet like me. I had planned on buying a car eventually, but having one so soon was sure to be convenient. As I reached the inside of the house and opened my mouth to thank Charlie he put up his hand and shook his head. I smiled, understanding, and we both began to pull my bags upstairs.

My new room was small, but cozy. The walls were painted a light yellow and Charlie had put a large bed and desk in the room. Decorations were a little sparse, but I didn't mind. I had a few things to hang up but otherwise I didn't like clutter. I noticed a photo on the desk of me and Charlie laughing when I was young, maybe five or so, and it abruptly made me sad. I had never felt like I was missing out on much growing up, but when I really thought how lonely he must have been it made me suddenly thankful we would have this chance to bond, especially since we were so much alike.

"Wow, thanks Dad, it looks great." I said, sticking my hands in my back pockets, still taking it in.

"I know you have a laptop so I got that wireless internet hooked up. I'm guessing they have computer labs on campus but I'm sure you'd like to study here once in awhile too." He shrugged, trying to tone down the gesture, but I could tell he put some thought into me coming. "Well," he said after awhile, "I'll let you unpack and get settled." With that he headed back downstairs and after a few minutes I heard the sounds of a baseball game on the TV.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, feeling a mixture of emotions. I was eager to start college, and I was happy to get to know Charlie better, but I missed my Mom, and I missed my home. I had never made any long-lasting friendships, or had any significant boyfriends, but it was still home all the same.

I flopped back onto my bed, trying to quiet my thoughts, and unintentionally fell asleep.

****

I woke up a few hours later, confused. When I realized where I was, I sighed and got up to begin unpacking my things. It was reaching late afternoon and since school was starting in a few days I wanted to get organized.

After I was finished I got the keys to my new car and went for a ride, pleased to find the car drove like it was brand new. Charlie had told me the town wasn't too hard to get around, and if I got lost I had my cell phone. I drove around aimlessly for awhile, trying to memorize street signs, and after an hour I ended up back at my new campus.

I parked in a lot marked for visitor parking and got out of my car to take a look around. Directly behind me was a fairly new and massive recreational center. In front of me were several buildings. The campus was much larger than I had expected and for a moment I felt overwhelmed. I knew most students came for an orientation here before starting, but I had just signed up for my classes online. I was starting to think I should have flown in earlier for a tour.

I began to walk across the street towards the buildings that I was positive held classrooms. I walked into an unremarkable looking building marked 'Mackinac' and started roaming the halls. The classrooms were fairly large but not much different than many of my high school classrooms. I quickly walked out a side door and found myself in a beautiful square filled with flowers and little black benches. There were a few students reading or chatting with each other and as I was taking it all in I tripped and toppled over, right at the tiny feet of another girl.

I groaned in both pain and embarrassment as she grabbed my hand to help me up.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I could tell she was suppressing a laugh. Her voice was little and matched her petite body.

"Oh, er, I'm fine, thanks." I stumbled as got up, my face flushing. I shrugged, "It happens a lot."

She finally let out a small but high-pitched giggle and then quickly stopped, looking ashamed. "You look a little bewildered, are you just starting this semester?" she asked, questioning me with big curious eyes.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I just moved in with my Dad and I've never actually seen the campus before."

She smiled at me, her voice flowing excitedly. "I'm Alice Cullen, I'm a freshman too, but I live in the dorms." She suddenly rolled her eyes, making a disgusted face. "I had to escape my roommate already, her and her big bear of a boyfriend started making out almost immediately, and let me tell you; those rooms are not big enough for that."

I laughed, I liked this girl already. "My name is Bella."

"Well Bella, it was very nice to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you again soon. If you ever want to come visit and meet some students I'm in Stafford, it's near the residential parking lot." she said cheerfully, "Good luck, and try to watch your step from now on." She flashed me a big smile as we parted ways. I smiled back, she was so dainty and her personality seemed contagious, I found myself hoping I would see her again.

After a little more exploring I decided to call it quits and head back to Charlie's for dinner. I quickly realized with one peek into his fridge that a shopping trip would have to be made almost immediately. For now, however, it looked like boxed pizza would have to do.

I sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time.

*****

The first day of classes came quickly and I stood in the bathroom for a long while looking over my reflection in the mirror. Besides my large deep chocolate-colored eyes that matched my long thick hair perfectly, I had very average features. I was a little on the pale side, at least for somebody who lived in the Sunshine State their entire life, and there was a small scattering of light freckles across my nose. My skin was clear and my mouth a bit uneven, but I had convinced myself it wasn't enough to be noticeable.

I held my stomach as the butterflies started to hit me. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I had always been shy but never like this. I took a deep breath to calm myself as I walked downstairs and quickly ate a bowl of cereal. My first class was at 9 am and I had 2 more afterwards. I wanted to get some food in me in case I couldn't find a cafeteria.

"Bye Charlie!" I called, grabbing my plain black backpack. I wasn't sure if he even heard me. He worked for a packaging company somewhere downtown, and he had only Sunday and Mondays off, so I knew he was probably sleeping in a little. I tripped as I made my down the porch steps.

"Nice start Bella." I muttered to myself.

My first class was a 100 level Algebra class. Not the best way to start considering I am a failure at Math, but I tried to remain hopeful, considering the Professor seemed very likeable. As I looked around me I noticed that several other students looked as nervous as I felt, and that calmed me down. A little.

I quickly found my way across campus to another set of pretty buildings all named after the Great Lakes. My next class was Sociology 110, in Lake Huron Hall. I was excited about this one, since I was considering Sociology as my major. However when I walked in, I ducked my head and quickly grabbed a seat when I realized there were over 200 students in the classroom. Grand Valley boasted small class sizes, but I guess I had registered for one of their few large lectures.

As I sat down my seat squeaked loudly, causing a few students to turn around in their chairs. I felt my face turning red and I buried myself in my backpack trying to locate a pencil. When I emerged, I noticed Alice was a few rows up from me, sitting next to a tall boy with unruly bronze hair; she was twisted around in her seat, smiling at me and excitedly waving. I waved back, still embarrassed about the reason she had turned around in the first place.

Class only lasted a half hour, Professor Lipke gave us a small summery of the syllabus and sent us out with some light reading to do. I got up just in time to receive a crushing hug from Alice. I laughed, surprised, as she pulled back.

"Bella, I'm so happy to see you! How amazing is this?" She gushed. She turned a little towards the bronze hair boy I had noticed earlier. "This is my brother Edward."

Edward nodded, flashing me a quick and crooked smile. It took all of my strength not to let my jaw drop. He was absolutely gorgeous.

"Hello Edward." I said quietly, suddenly shy.

Alice grabbed my hand, "Do you want to grab some lunch? I'm starving and we have all of this free time now. Edward, want to come?"

"I'm actually going to run to my apartment Alice, but thanks. Nice to meet you Bella." He said politely as he started walking away. I couldn't help but watch him go.

Alice led me back across campus to the lower level of a big building that also housed the bookstore, a coffee shop, and several smaller rec rooms with pool tables and TVs. I had never been in here before and it had a very homey feel to it, despite its size. "How do you already know your way around?" I asked her as she moved quickly through the building with me tagging behind her.

"Edward is older than me and he's been here for a little while." She explained. "So I've been around plenty of times before."

I nodded. We had finally reached the cafeteria. There a few different types of food to choose from. Alice, explaining that she was a vegetarian, chose a large salad with soup, and I opted for a chicken sandwich.

"So how long have you been a vegetarian?" I asked her, curious. I couldn't imagine it myself.

"Oh, some time now. I just always felt like a monster eating other creatures, you know?" She said between forkfuls of salad. "So, how do you like it here so far? Have you met anybody yet? Isn't this campus great?"

I smiled at her quick questions. "Only you," I admitted sheepishly. "I guess it's kind of hard to meet people when you live off-campus. I really do like it so far though, and yes, the campus is beautiful."

"Oh, that's no problem Bella; I've met plenty of friends I can share. I actually ended up really liking my roommate once her boyfriend got his tongue out of her mouth. We found out we share an affinity for clothing." She explained; as if that were the bond that would never break. I smirked; I definitely wouldn't be in on that hobby.

As if she could read my mind she glanced at me and cleared her throat. "We should go shopping sometime Bella. How about tonight"

I swallowed a piece of chicken, "I don't know Alice, we have that reading to do already, and I'm not really a shopper…"

She cut me off. "C'mon, it will be fun. We can go with Rosalie and maybe a couple other girls I've met. That way you can meet some people and maybe pick up a few, um, things."

I had to admit that it couldn't hurt. I didn't want to be an outcast just because I wasn't staying in the dorms. Alice seemed like somebody I could really have fun with, and I needed some of that in my life right now. "Alright," I gave in.

"Awesome! Do you want us to pick you up or do you want to meet at my room around 6?"

"How about I just come to you? That way I can get to know that area better." I suggested. It was probably a good idea. The area she lived was all dorms and an honors building, so I didn't think I'd be making my way over there on my own for any reason. She jotted down her room number and cell phone number for me.

"Just call me when you get to the front, I have to let you in." She instructed me. We chatted a little while more until we both had to head off to class - me to American History and her to a freshman writing course.

I was in a very good mood suddenly. It was a beautiful day, my first two professors seemed great, and I had already made a friend. I smiled to myself as I walked into my third and final class of the day.

***

After my classes were over I went into town to do some shopping at the local Meijer. I could not live off Charlie's frozen dinners any longer. As I wandered down the aisles picking up frozen chicken and random lunch meats, I came across a 12 pack of soda labeled 'Vernors.'

I had no idea what that was. Suddenly as silly as it was, I felt very homesick. I let it last a moment then I shook it off, remembering how well my day went.

When I got home, Charlie was watching TV. "Hey Bells!" He called towards the door. "How were classes?"

"Actually, pretty good Dad. I think I'm going to like all my Professors so far. I did some grocery shopping too, so help yourself to anything I bought." I said, rustling the shopping bags in my hands. "It's probably not healthy for you to be eating all of those frozen pizzas you know."

He rolled his eyes and turned back around to face the TV.

I went upstairs to refresh. I threw on some faded jeans, flip flops, and a blue tank top. Glancing in the mirror, I quickly ran a comb through my hair. I did usually wear a small amount of makeup, but not much, and I didn't see much need for putting any more on now. It's just a shopping trip, I thought to myself.

I found Alice's dorm pretty quickly, and it only took her a minute after I called her to come open the door for me. There were a dozen or so students sitting in a big living room chatting and watching TV, and to the right two boys were playing ping-pong.

Alice led me up to the 2nd floor, where her room was. I guessed by the even amount of girls and guys walking around, that it was a co-ed floor.

"I'm so excited you're coming with us Bella!" she said, practically skipping down the hall. "I have a feeling we're going to be great friends."

I was flattered, although I had no idea how she could have come to that conclusion. Maybe she was psychic.

I'm so sure Bella, I thought to myself.

When we entered the dorm I was surprised at how clean it was, and it wasn't as tiny as I thought it would be either. Alice and Rosalie has gotten a suite style room, which meant it was a little larger than the traditional dorms and they only had to share a bathroom with 4 other girls. Even I, with all my need for privacy, could handle that.

Rosalie was just walking out of the bathroom when we walked in. "Hi Bella," she said coolly, extending her perfectly manicured hand to shake mine. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too." I smiled at her, in awe of how beautiful she was. While Alice was pretty because of her petite features, big eyes, and dark wild hair, Rosalie was gorgeous with perfectly aligned features and long golden blonde hair with a body to die for. They were also both dressed up to the max and I suddenly felt a bit underdressed. "I didn't realize this was a formal occasion." I laughed.

"I dress like this every day." Rosalie said almost apologetically. I took in her outfit. With her tight hip hugging jeans, 3 inch black strappy heels, and a low cut black tank top that looked painted on, I couldn't figure out for the life of me how she could move, let alone function from day to day while wearing that.

Alice smirked. "That's tame for you Rosalie."

Just then I noticed that Edward had poked his head in the door and my heart fluttered. "Hey girls," he greeted us, his green eyes smiling. "Alice, sorry for just showing up but Jasper and I were wondering if we could tag along."

Alice suddenly looked a little jumpy. "You and Jasper? Absolutely!" she said in a high-pitched squeak. Rosalie shot me a look, and I quickly guessed that Alice had a bit of a crush on this Jasper guy.

"Sweet, I'm coming too! " I heard a deep voice boom from behind Edward. A large muscle-clad brown haired boy shoved his way into the room.

"Oh Emmett, baby, you know I like to surprise you with what I buy." Rosalie pouted a little. This must have been the boyfriend that had annoyed Alice in the beginning.

"Don't worry," Edward said. "He can tag along with us. Besides, I think it would be better if we went separate anyway. I drove here from my apartment and my little sister just reminded me how bad of an idea it would be to be stuck at the mall with her." He shot me a look of warning and I gulped.

Once we got to the mall I couldn't help but enjoy the company I was with. I quickly learned that Emmett and Rosalie bickered constantly, but made up seconds later, literally. She had her arms crossed one minute and her lips on his the next. It would have been slightly nauseating if I didn't like them so much. Rosalie seemed very smart, albeit a bit spoiled. Emmett was hilarious with his random bursts of energy and blunt sense of humor. Alice was as excitable as she had been from the moment I met her, flittering from one store to the next, always exiting with a new and full shopping bag. Edward was quiet, but polite. Jasper was a little intense, but I could see immediately he was a good person. He had very kind eyes, which watched Alice constantly, although I don't think she knew it. I would have to talk with her about that later.

Once we separated from the guys, Alice insisted on turning me into her fashion project for the evening and although I argued a bit I ended up going along with most things, some other things however were not okay.

"Alice!" I screeched, looking at myself in a dressing room mirror. "What is this?!"

"It's a mini-skirt dummy, and it looks fantastic on you, you have to get it." She jumped up and down.

"No way," I shook my head vigorously. "I would never ever in my entire life wear this thing. You're going to have to kill me first." I could hear Rosalie chuckle from another room.

She sighed, throwing up her hands. "Fine Bella, but why on earth you wouldn't want to show off those legs I have no clue. It's your loss." She frowned, but immediately perked up when I reminded her I had already given in to buying piles of new clothes. So much for my savings account.

After shopping for what seemed like hours, we met back up with everybody at Olga's for dinner. I was already feeling comfortable with this group of people, and as surprising as that was to me, it made me happy.

"So, Bella, you're from Florida?" Edward asked me suddenly, his beautiful eyes holding mine.

"Born and bred." I answered, trying to keep my breath steady.

"So why are you so white?" Emmett asked. Rosalie hit him in the shoulder and he huffed. "Well, I mean, isn't it like, sunny there all of the time?"

I laughed to show him I wasn't offended. "I take after my Dad. The sun gives me a little color in my face, but I don't tan well. I gave up on trying years ago."

The rest of dinner went on like this – all of us asking each other questions, trying to get to know each other. Alice was seated next to Jasper and was being very quite for the first time since I met her. Every time their hands or shoulders touched their bodies would react so even I could notice from the other end of the table. I could tell Edward noticed too, though I couldn't tell if he was okay with it.

When we left the restaurant I hung back with Edward a little.

"So, I hate to be nosy, but what's going on with Alice and Jasper?" I asked, immediately blushing when I realized I sounded like a gossip.

"You know, it's the oddest thing." Edward said quietly, so they couldn't hear. "Jasper and I have been friends for a couple years but he only met Alice when she moved here from where our family lives in Grosse Pointe. There was this immediate connection. I guess they just haven't acted on it yet."

"So you've been up here a couple years then?" I asked, looking up at him.

His face shut down suddenly. "Something like that."

He started to run to catch up with everybody else. I frowned slightly, wondering what that was about.

***

The first month of classes went by quickly. I found out I had Alice in two classes and Rosalie and Emmett in one. We all became fast friends. Edward and Jasper came around often too, but I could see that it was mostly for Jasper's benefit. Edward was always polite, but guarded. Some days he would barely speak a word, others he would tease Alice like a typical big brother. He was handsome, but I wasn't fond of his mood swings. I quickly began to learn to ignore the flip in my stomach when he looked my way. Any guy that attractive is going to get that kind of reaction out of a girl, I figured.

September was still beautiful and I was pleasantly surprised. I spent my days attending class, my nights studying, and my weekends usually with Alice or watching TV with Charlie. I was slowly realizing I could really be happy here. We had met a couple other girls named Tanya and Irina and we spent many weekend nights having movie marathons and going out for dinners. I had even let Alice and Rosalie subject me to a pedicure.

I was lounging in my backyard on a Friday afternoon reading for my Sociology class when my cell phone started ringing. I flipped it open and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Bella! It's Alice."

"Hey Alice, what's up?" I asked, yawning.

"So Jasper is having a party, and it's not going to be huge or anything, but I really think we should all go. Rosalie and Emmett are going for sure." She said quickly, knowing I wasn't big on the party scene.

"Of course Alice, I'll go." I wasn't going to put up a fight. Alice and Jasper needed to just admit their feelings for each other, and if a little alcohol could speed that process along, I would be there holding the shot glasses.

She squealed so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Be here in an hour and wear something cute Bella, no t-shirts!"

I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone. She was impossible, but I went up to my bedroom and picked out a new pair of jeans and beige lacy top Alice had picked out for me. She would be so proud, I thought to myself smiling. I threw on some lip gloss, mussed up my hair, and headed out the door.

When I got to the Stafford dorm building I walked upstairs to find a bewildered Rosalie sitting on the edge of her bed. There were clothes scattered everywhere, literally. Alice was in a frenzy, tearing apart her closet. Irina was standing against the wall, a look of both annoyance and amusement on her face.

Alice turned towards me with wild eyes, but her face immediately fell into a smile when she saw me. "Bella! My goodness, you look good. Rosalie – get to work on her face."

"Al-"I started, but Rosalie shushed me, plopped me down at their vanity, and start applying goo to my face. "Humph." I complained while Alice continued to try on roughly 50 outfits.

"Wear that!" Irina exclaimed as Alice modeled a casual, but little, green dress. It did look adorable on her. She seemed happy with the choice and even happier when she saw my face.

I had to admit, Rosalie did work wonders. Not only did my face look flawless, but she had taken a curling iron to my hair and I'd never seen it look so good. "Thanks Rose, you're amazing." I said, looking up at her from where I was seated. She just nodded as if she already knew that and started to reapply her makeup. I immediately lost interest in my reflection, feeling a little like I wanted to wash my face already.

An hour later, Rosalie was ready to go. She had to outdo us all by wearing a stunning red strapless dress with her hair in an elaborate up do, but I suppose we were all used to that by now. Alice, Rosalie, Irina, Tanya, and I shuffled out of the dorm and into Tanya's Jeep. We turned off campus toward Jasper's apartment, not even a half mile away. Alice was bouncing around in her seat like a crazy person.

"Alice, relax." I said, trying to calm her down. "You look fantastic; he will only have eyes for you."

"I just, I need to tell him Bella." She said anxiously. "I wish I could explain what it's like when I'm around him. I've never had trouble telling anybody how I feel before, but I'm so scared…" She trailed off.

"Alice, don't be an idiot." Rosalie snapped from the passenger seat. "All he does is stare at you, he'll probably get down on one knee and purpose the second you tell him that you have feelings for him."

"Way to be blunt Rose." Tanya laughed. "Oh hey, Alice, will Edward be there" she asked.

I knew that Tanya had a thing for Edward and that they had hung out a few times. Whether anything happened, I didn't know. Tanya was very pretty though, and I'm sure he had to be elated she was interested.

Alice shrugged, "I don't think so, he doesn't really party much." She left it at that.

***

When we finally walked into Jasper's apartment there were handful of people situated around the kitchen table, starting a drinking game, and another group of people standing on the back balcony. I was a little surprised to see Edward among them, looking a little tense. He spotted us and walked towards us.

"Edward!" Tanya exclaimed, wrapping him up in a hug. "I didn't expect you here."

Edward smiled tightly and loosely hugged her back. I raised my eyebrows, wondering what his deal was. He excused himself and I saw him walk to the bathroom. Tanya shrugged towards Irina, but didn't seem to worry too much about it. Within moments they both had drinks in their hands and were laughing with a couple boys I had never met.

I put my hand on Alice's shoulder lightly as she tried to look around the apartment nonchalantly, obviously trying to spot Jasper. It was a nice apartment, but not very large, and I imagined he was probably in his room.

"Relax." I said firmly, handing her a fruity concoction. I didn't make one for myself, and I wasn't trying to purposely get Alice drunk, but I figured she might benefit from it. I knew she wouldn't go overboard and I didn't think I knew how to make a strong drink to save my life anyway.

We joined Tanya and Irina. The two boys they were with smiled as we approached. Tanya introduced us both.

"Hi, I'm Mike," said the boy with blonde hair and a dimple, "very nice to meet you two." His gaze lingered a little while on me, and I shuffled my feet uncomfortably, looking down.

"I'm Eric," said the other boy eagerly. He was not as cute as Mike, but seemed sweet. He had shaggy black hair and was a bit short. He reached out with a sweaty hand and I was grateful when Alice took it.

"So where are you two from?" Mike asked, his eyes trying to catch mine.

"Grosse Pointe." Alice said. Eric smiled and nodded, he obviously knew where that was. "Bella is from Florida." She added for me.

I cringed. I didn't want 20 questions.

"Cool!" Mike said loudly. "You're so lucky, it must be awesome. Why did you come here?"

"Oh it's not that great there," I tried to shrug it off. "You know, just like here but with better weather and oceans instead of lakes." Mike laughed a little too loudly and I blushed. Finally, I saw Jasper enter the living room, and I grabbed Alice's arm. "Excuse me." I said to them politely.

"Jasper!" I called, making my way over to him. His eyes lit up when he saw us, or at least when he saw Alice.

"Hi Jazz." Alice said sweetly. I shot her a questioning look. I had never heard her call him that before. "I'm really happy to see you." She continued, surprising me again. I tried to think back to what I put in her drink.

Jasper pressed his lips together, trying to keep from smiling. "I'm glad." He said. "I'm pleased you girls came. Your brother isn't feeling well though Alice, I think maybe somebody should check on him. He's in my room."

Alice bit her lip and started to walk towards the hallway. I grabbed the back of her dress. "Forget about Alice, I'll go check on him."

Alice looked at me strangely and shook her head. "No Bella, it's fine, really. He's my brother and I-"

I cut her off. "Alice, stay." I said firmly while backing away from her. She stood there with her drink still in her hand, confused, as if she didn't know what to do. I winked at her and turned to go check on Edward.

I knocked lightly on the door, which was partly opened. "Edward?" I said lightly, pushing on the door. I stepped in.

Edward didn't look sick, but he did look angry. He was sitting at Jasper's computer desk, banging on the keyboard, one key at a time. When he saw me, he scowled. "What are you doing in here Bella?" he asked, standing up and taking a step towards me.

I backed away, startled. "Jasper said you weren't feeling well…I thought I would, um, check on you. Alice was going to do it but..." I trailed off as I hit my back against the wall. His green eyes were intense, and they threw me off balance.

"Not feeling well?" He laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I'm sick and you need to go Bella. I might be contagious."

I stood frozen in place for a moment; my eyes would not tear away from his. I saw anger, but I also sad, sadness? For a moment I felt like reaching out to him, but when his gaze tightened I felt myself getting angry.

"Get out Bella, don't try to do me many favors. Just because you're friends with Alice does not mean you know me." He said harshly, and my anger seethed.

"Excuse me for trying to be nice Edward." I snapped at him, narrowing my eyes.

"Don't even bother." He muttered as I threw open the door and walked out, tripping on the long shaggy carpet, which made me even more irate. "Jerk" I muttered under my breath. Who did he think he was anyway?

I went back out to the party and took a second to calm myself down. My friends were here, and I wanted to have a good time. Since everybody else was drinking, I needed to stay to get everybody home safely, and I didn't want to stay and be in the bad mood. Forget Edward, I thought to myself.

I looked around me, there were definitely more people here now. Tanya was already looking a bit tipsy as she leaned in closer to Mike. Irina was doing a shot with Rosalie at the counter, and Alice and Jasper were sitting his couch, talking and laughing, which made my mood brighten considerably.

Suddenly I felt a hand at my back, and I spun around to face a giant. I took a step back and looked up, startled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" the exceptionally tall boy said. "You were just standing here; I thought I would introduce myself. You are?"

"Oh." I said dumbly. "Bella Swan."

He smiled a bright smile down at me. "Hello Bella Swan. I'm Jacob."

I took another step back and realized that Jacob was very handsome once you got over his height. He had chopped black hair and very tan skin. I guessed that he was mostly Indian. His skin was smooth and his eyes almost as dark as his hair.

"So," he said after a brief pause "Do you know whose party this is? I just kind of walked in, I was looking for my roommate Sam. Have you seem him? He's almost as tall as me with long hair."

I shook my head and laughed. "No way, I'd have noticed a guy around here even close to your height."

He grinned, looking around to see for himself. Sure enough, everybody was at least 5 inches shorter than him. He shrugged. "So if I find him, is it cool if we came back here? I see a few people I know."

"Oh, I'm sure it is." I said. "Jasper lives here and he's a friend so you can just say you're with me."

"Sounds great. I'll see you later Bella." He walked back out into the hallway, in search for his friend.

Just as he left Tanya approached me, a bit unsteady. "Bella!" she shrieked. "Wow, I am having such a great time." She threw her arm around me.

"Tanya, how are you drunk already?" I asked, shaking my head. 'We've only been here for two hours!"

"Sorry Bella," Rosalie called over. "She doesn't have much tolerance for alcohol. I had no clue, or I wouldn't have done all those shots with her." Rosalie didn't look drunk at all and I guessed that she had a bit of experience tossing back straight liquor, which didn't really surprise me. Rosalie was every guys dream, minus the pouting and inherent need for expensive shoes.

"Where's Edward? I want to talk to him." Tanya started walking towards Jasper's bedroom and I grabbed her hand quickly.

"No, no Tanya. He's not feeling well. I don't think you should go in there." I tried to pull her back, searching for Mike. She seemed to like him earlier, maybe I could…

By the time I located him, Tanya was gone. She had broken out of my grasp and I could here her opening up Jasper's door down the small hallway. I thought maybe I should go after her, but I couldn't be sure Edward wouldn't want her in there, so I just let it be and tried to find Alice.

When did this party get so much bigger? I asked myself, pushing through a crowded kitchen where it looked like a few football players had decided to have a beer chugging contest. I gagged watching the sticky liquid run down their chins and continued to the living room.

She and Jasper were still on the couch, very close. Alice was whispering in his ear, and he had his hand lightly on her shoulder. I backed up a little; I didn't want to interrupt them.

"Bella!" a deep voice called. I turned around to see Jacob had returned with his friend Sam, who had already started in on a conversation with a tiny brunette. She looked small enough for him to eat, I thought to myself with a giggle.

I waved him over. "Do you want to get some fresh air?" I asked, gesturing towards the balcony. "I'm starting to feel a little claustrophobic in here." He nodded, motioning for me to lead the way.

"So," he started when we got outside. "Why do you look so sober? Everybody else here looks like they're getting as drunk as fast as they possibly can."

I laughed and turned towards the wind, letting it hit my hot face. "I'm not really that into it." I explained, "I mean, I'll have a drink, but I barely have control of my body when I'm sober, so losing even more control is just a scary thought."

He looked at me, seemingly confused.

"I fall a lot." I shrugged, and he laughed.

We talked outside for several minutes. He was extremely easy to talk too, and I liked him almost immediately. He had a very easy-going nature, although he seemed to be a bit careless. He told stories about dirt bike racing and four wheeling that made me cringe.

"Dirt biking." I repeated, making a face. "That sounds like something I would most definitely never do." Ever.

"Oh it's not so dangerous. It's just a good time." He said, trying to convince me. I would never be convinced that driving along a bumpy rocky road on some bike was a good time.

Suddenly I heard a bit of commotion going on in the living room. Jacob and I stepped back inside to see what was going on. All I could make out was a distraught Tanya practically sobbing, and Alice was trying to calm her down.

"H-h-he d-d-idn't have t-to say those t-things Alice!" she stumbled her words, her eyes watering over. "What's his p-p-roblem?" She hiccupped, looking miserable.

Alice didn't say anything to comfort her. She just looked at Irina for help, and as Irina rushed to Tanya's side Alice spun around and hurried towards the bedroom, with Jasper in tow.

I was itching to follow them, but I stayed put, silently doing a head count of all of my friends. Every single one of them had been drinking and I knew it was almost time to leave.

Jacob took notice and gave me a quick hug. "You have my number now Bella," he reminded me. He had given it to me earlier "I'd love to hang out sometime." I smiled at him and nodded. He grabbed Sam and minutes later the two of them were gone, along with the little brunette.

I found Rosalie with Emmett, who must have just arrived.

"What is his deal?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "He was horrible to me earlier and whatever he said to Tanya couldn't have been much nicer."

Rosalie looked at me, frowning slightly. "I don't know why he's even here." She said quietly, shaking her head. I was about to ask what she meant when Alice reappeared, looking tired.

"Let's just go." She said flatly. "Bella, you can drive right?" I nodded silently; I already had Tanya's car keys in my purse.

We gathered everybody up and got into the car. There was barely a word spoken. I desperately wanted to ask Tanya what he had done to make her so upset, but I held back. She was half asleep anyway and Alice didn't look like she was in the mood to discuss anything right now.

I dropped them off and headed home in my own car, my mind running on overtime. I wanted nothing more than to sleep and the second I hit my sheets, that's exactly what I did.

***

The next day I woke up to sunny skies. The temperature was supposed to reach a record high and there was no way I was going to ignore that. I had never been much for tanning but I was craving the beach. I picked up my slim black phone to call Alice, hoping that whatever happened last night hadn't ruined her mood for the entire weekend.

"Hi Bella, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she said, her voice animated.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Absolutely" I said, already yanking my emerald green bathing suit out of my drawer. It was time to meet the lake.

When I pulled up to Stafford I honked and waited a minute for Alice to come down. I had cranked up my music loudly to match my mood, but my stomach dropped when I saw that Alice was not alone. Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward were with her. The first three I could live with, the last one I most definitely did not want to see today. I turned down my radio and fidgeted with my sunglasses, wondering how I should act as they all squished into my car. Edward jumped in the passenger seat and I avoided looking in his direction while I flipped through my CD case to distract myself.

"This one." Edward stopped me, grabbing my hand before I could turn to the next CD. I quickly yanked it away and he frowned at me. I pulled out a different CD without looking at him and shoved it into the hand-me-down stereo I had acquired from Alice a month ago.

"You guys! Just because I am little does not mean I can be smushed!" Alice's muffled voice cried out from the backseat. She was buried underneath Emmett and Jasper, who were both laughing, trying to wiggle around to make her more comfortable.

"Jesus Alice, just sit on Jasper's lap then!" Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. I glanced in the rearview mirror long enough to see Jasper happily placing Alice on his lap and I smiled briefly before putting my sunglasses back on and throwing the car into drive.

The beach was actually pretty amazing. It had taken roughly 20 minutes to get there and although there were plenty of people, it was spacious enough not to feel too crowded. The six of us quickly found a spot to lay our towels down near the water and began to undress down to our suits.

I looked out towards Lake Michigan. Unlike the ocean it was calm and a much different shade of blue, but it was clear and the sun made it shimmer all along the shore. I could see boats for several miles and I looked up and smiled as I felt the warm sun on my face and shoulders. Finally I started lathering on the sunscreen. I most definitely did not want to turn into a lobster today.

Rosalie whistled as I was covering my legs with the lotion. I could feel my cheeks flush and I hid my face. I knew I shouldn't have let Alice talk me into buying this bikini.

When I finally looked up again I noticed Edward staring at me. I couldn't help but clench my jaw and he looked away quickly, leaning towards Jasper to ask him for bottled water.

Was it wrong to be mad at him? I wondered. No way, I answered my own thought. The way he had spoken to me last night was totally out of line. I huffed a little as I remembered it, and slammed down onto my towel a little too hard. "Ouch!" I said loudly. I glanced at Edward again and realized he was quietly laughing at me. I grabbed my book out of Rosalie's large white beach bag and stuck my nose in it, determined to ignore him for the remainder of the day. Maybe even eternity.

After about a half hour Emmett got bored and started to plead with Rosalie to go into the water with him.

"Emmett, not right now." She said, turning from her back to her stomach. "I'm sunbathing!"

I watched as Emmett sat there for a moment, forming what I could only consider a very bad idea in his head. He then swept Rosalie up in his arms and ran towards the water. We all laughed as she shrieked at him, hitting his burly chest. When he threw her into the water, we knew that would be it.

"Emmett! I am going to kill you!" she growled, rising up from the water and jumping on his back. I giggled as I watched them wrestle. Jasper soon pulled Alice up and they ran in too, splashing and playing along with them. I smiled before continuing to read my book, aware that Edward was again looking in my direction.

"Bella?" His voice was quiet. I considered pretending I didn't hear him for a moment, but I knew that would just be immature, so I put down my book.

"Yes Edward?" I turned towards my right where he was sitting 3 towels down from me, leaning back on his hands.

"I wanted to apologize to you about last night." He said, and although he sounded sincere I still turned my head away from him, my mouth set in a straight line. "I was upset and I took it out on you, I really am sorry."

"And did you apologize to Tanya too?" I asked curtly, remembered her mascara streaked face. "Because whatever she said or did, it couldn't have been bad enough to deserve that." I turned my face back towards his, trying to ignore how amazing he looked in the sunlight. And that body…

"Bella I have no excuse for how I treated anybody last night. I just, I have some things to work out and I'm doing that. It's just hard sometimes."

"Listen Edward, go ahead and work out your issues, but I can't be around somebody who jumps from one mood to the next like you do. It's exhausting." I was being stubborn and I knew it, but something about Edward was getting me all fired up and I couldn't stop myself or let myself forgive him.

"Fine. Forget I even tried then." He got up quickly and walked towards the pavilion. I sighed and turned back towards the water and realized Alice had been watching our entire exchange. I suddenly felt very guilty.

***

When the sun became too much for me I got up to go find shade, with Alice deciding to come with me. I was glad to finally have a chance to talk with her about Jasper. I still had no idea what they had discussed last night.

"What did my brother say you?" she demanded as soon as we found an empty picnic table under a tree.

I looked at her, surprised. "He was very rude to me last night and he tried to apologize to me, but I just can't accept it right now Alice, I'm sorry. I'm just angry and I need some time."

She sighed and nodded. "He told me how he acted. I understand if you can't forgive him now, but please just bear with him."

"Alice, I don't understand, what's going on?"

Her eyes were pleading with me. "I can't Bella, really."

I wanted to press her, to ask for more information, but I couldn't make her do that. It was family business and that was private. Who was I to pry?

"Will you at least tell me about Jasper then?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at her to lighten the mood.

Her face magically transformed as she broke out into a huge grin. "Well apparently alcohol is liquid courage because I ended up telling him…everything." She put her head in her hands. "He feels exactly the same Bella! I'm just, so happy." She tilted her head to the side and a dreamy look came over her face. I laughed and reached over to hug her.

"I knew it! We told you. I just can't believe you've been so calm about it.

She paused a moment and then without warning jumped up and did a little dance, shrieking with glee and scaring a few children sitting near us. I cracked up and pulled her back towards the beach for some more sun before it was time head back.

***

Another month passed and the days finally began to get colder, much to my disappointment. I had begun to hope the constant warm weather had followed me north.

Edward and I had fallen into a polite but impersonal relationship. He was constantly in my life, but always on the outskirts, quieter than he had even been before. I caught him watching me at times, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I wasn't angry anymore.

If he apologized to Tanya she had seemed to accept it, which made me feel worse. They did not spend any time together outside of group outings, but they were friendly with each other. I found myself wishing I could let things go as well as Tanya had, considering he had done much worse to her than to me. What was it about him that had me feeling this way? I couldn't figure it out.

Classes were getting harder, but the work load wasn't too much for me to handle and I found myself with more free time than I had thought I would have. I was holding off on getting a job until the summer, and since I had saved up more than enough money over the last few years to get me by, I decided to just enjoy my free time with my friends.

Jasper and Alice began to fall hard for each other. They were together almost as much as Rosalie and Emmett were and I had grown to love them both so much by now that I was elated.

Suddenly, with the weather getting colder, I started to feel sick, really sick. I trudged to my classes anyway, thinking I could get away with it, until finally had a very loud and embarrassing coughing fit in my Wednesday Sociology class.

Alice turned towards me, "Are you alright Bella?" she asked, concerned. I saw Edward lean forward to look past Alice at me. I clearly did not look alright; I knew I was ghostly pale with dark circles under my watery eyes. I had tried to hide them this morning.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." I lied anyway, hoping they wouldn't notice. "It's just the weather making my throat dry."

Before I could pull back she lifted the back of her hand up to my head. "Bella!" she gasped. "You're burning up! What are you doing here?"

I was busted. I just shrugged weakly. "I don't like missing class."

"Oh Bella honestly!" she huffed, grabbing her things and standing up. "Let's go, I'm taking you home."

"Alice, no, I can make it through this." I insisted, pulling at her sweater.

"Sit down Alice," Edward suddenly said, making us both quiet. "You need to stay, considering I've taken this class before, I should probably be the one to take her home. You take good notes for her."

Taken this class before? I was confused and it made me feel dizzy. Whoops, maybe that was just me without the confusion. I was suddenly very sure Alice was right, I needed to go home. Now.

I allowed Edward to pull me across campus to his Volvo without a word, my body hurt and I was freezing cold. I shivered in the passenger seat as Edward drove to my house. He was completely silent until we pulled into the driveway.

"Thanks Edwar-" I started to turn and say goodbye, but he was already out of the car and coming for me.

"Is your Dad home?" He asked. I shook my head.

He sighed, "Bella, just let me come in and get you settled, please?" He actually looked worried. I began to think I looked worse than I thought so I nodded weakly and let him follow me into my house. He glanced around briefly. "Where is your room?" He demanded. I pointed upstairs, falling heavily onto the couch.

He was back at my side in a moment. He had carried down a comforter and two pillows for me. He gently put the pillows under my head and tucked me in. I wanted to say thank you, but I suddenly couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I woke up only an hour later and I felt even worse. I moaned, putting my hand to my head.

"How are you feeling?" asked a low, smooth voice.

I sat up immediately, and turned towards the other couch. "Edward!" I exclaimed groggily. "What are you still doing here?"

He looked embarrassed for a moment. "I couldn't find any flu medicine here so I thought I should go get you some, and when I got back you looked in such bad shape I didn't want to just leave you…" he trailed off, suddenly very interested in the TV, which was turned so low down it might as well been on mute.

"I didn't need anything." I said unconvincingly.

He chuckled and nodded, getting up and coming back with the bottle of Nyquil and a spoon. I took a couple tablespoons and after 5 minutes, I was back in a dreamless sleep, this time for the rest of the day and night.

I woke up the next morning feeling much better, but not completely healthy.

"Bells? Charlie was knocking on the door lightly.

"Yeah Dad, come in, I'm up." I sat myself upright as Charlie came into my room, his forehead creased with worry.

"You look much better." He commented, looking me over with relief. "When I got home that boy was here and you looked like death itself lying on that couch."

Edward was still here when Charlie got home? I blinked, trying to remember what time I had fallen asleep that last time. It had to have been around two in the afternoon and Charlie didn't usually get home until well after six. I felt of rush of guilt run through me. Edward had stayed.

"What time did Edward leave Dad? I didn't even know he was here." I kept my face blank.

"Right after I got in." Charlie said. "He told me he got you home and he had some studying to do so he had figured he would just do it here to make sure you didn't wake up and need something." His gaze turned questioning. "Are you dating him or something?"

I shook my head. "He's Alice's brother, he was just doing her a favor so that she could get some work done. She's the one who wanted to bring me home." I was explaining it more to myself than to Charlie. That had to be the reason, I was sure of it.

Charlie nodded quickly; probably embarrassed he even asked me the question. "Alright Bella, you should probably take it easy today. I stayed home until you woke up to make sure you were okay, but I need to get to work now."

"You didn't have to do that Dad, but thank you. I'll probably skip class and just bum around here all day, maybe go to Alice's later to catch up on the notes I missed yesterday." I said.

After Charlie left I lay back down and then quickly sat back up. According to my clock it was almost 10 am, I wouldn't have been able to make it to class anyway, but I felt restless without having anything to do and Alice wouldn't be done with classes for a few more hours.

I brushed my teeth and hopped in the shower, hoping it would take away some of the soreness I felt in my muscles and clear my head. I stayed under the stream of hot water for a long while, massaging my scalp. Slowly my aches began to disappear and I finally got out. I threw on a long over-sized black t-shirt that hung to my knees and sat down at my computer desk to do some research on a paper I had due in a couple weeks. I was just about to log onto the internet when I heard on knock on the front door.

I got up and headed downstairs, slightly annoyed. I threw open the door. If it were somebody trying to sell somethi-

It was Edward.

I froze, staring with my mouth open, suddenly painfully aware of what I looked like, and even more aware of how good he looked.

"Hello Bella, how are you feeling?" He asked. His tone was polite but I could see his eyes take me in and amusement lit up his face.

"Uh. Fine." I answered, my face flushing hot. "I'm feeling a lot better, thank you."

He stepped forward as if to come in and I opened the door wider, stumbling backwards a little. This time he couldn't help but laugh out loud, which only made my face heat up even more. Why did I have to be so human sometimes?

"I'm sorry; I was just getting out of the shower…" I trailed on, gesturing to my not-so-chic choice of clothing.

"I see that." He said, still smiling.

I sat down on the couch lightly and he did the same, never taking his eyes off of me. I suddenly felt a rush of butterflies and I cleared my throat, trying to find some words.

"Thank so much for yesterday," I finally got out, proud at how clear my voice sounded. "I'm so stubborn I would have never got the medicine on my own."

He shrugged, "It was no big deal, I didn't want Alice to have to stay here with you. She had a lot going on yesterday."

"Right." I said flatly, and I cringed as disappointment tinged the word. I hoped he didn't notice. I didn't even know why the feeling surged through me in the first place. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "So, how long did you stay?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

He was silent was a second before he spoke. "Not too long after you feel asleep. I didn't know what time your Dad got back but I figured you'd be out for awhile so that you would be okay on your own."

Why was he lying? I finally met his never-ending gaze, and his deep eyes were clear. I opened my mouth to contradict him, but instead I just nodded and thanked him again instead. "Really, it was nice of you to do that."

"Bella," he cleared his throat and shifted his body slightly, his eyes still drilling into mine. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry again, for Jasper's party. I know you don't want to hear it, or maybe you just don't care, but I still want you to know that I know how horrid my behavior was and that I never meant to speak to you that way. Alice already considers you one of her best friends now, and I don't want our relationship to be this cold."

Suddenly I realized why he really stayed. He felt he owed me. It made perfect sense now.

I broke away from his gaze and looked down at Charlie's shaggy taupe carpeting. "I appreciate the apology Edward," I said quietly. "I apologize as well for not doing it sooner. I can be a little stubborn sometimes." I looked up, smiling to show him I meant it.

"Good," he said, looking pleased. "I'd hate to think of my sister's future maid of honor and best man disliking each other so much."

I laughed, surprised. "You really think that's going to happen?"

"I don't how it can't. I've never known two people so meant for each other." He shook his head. "I don't think either of them will be giving the other one up anytime soon."

I sighed involuntarily. "I guess you're probably right. I just still feel so young sometimes. All of that seems so far away, for me at least."

Edward just nodded, seemingly in agreement. Finally after a few more minutes, he got up to leave. I stood up as well and walked to the door to let him out. As I watched him get into his car, I realized he never actually explained his attitude that night. I suddenly felt frustrated all over again.

***

Thanksgiving came and went. My classes were beginning to wear me out a bit as the countdown to finals began. I still spent plenty of time with my friends, but most of it was to study. I was starting to miss Renee more and more, and I spoke with her on the phone at least twice a week now. Apparently Phil had meant a retired actor who was willing to partner up with him and open up a club in LA. Renee was over the moon.

"Oh honey, it's just so wonderful." She gushed to me one night.

"That's great Mom, really." I said, trimming my fingernails. "How are things going for you though?"

She paused, and I could tell she was trying to think of a lie to make up. My mother would never lie to me to hurt me, but she was always hiding what she called "ugly truths" from me, ever since I was little. It bothered me, especially now that I was eighteen and more than old enough to get honest answers from my own Mom.

"Things are going. I've been to some auditions. I haven't gotten a call back, but the more you go, the more jobs you get."

"Well I'm sure once Phil gets this club going you're going to meet all kinds of people." I said, trying to be optimistic for her.

"That's right. Absolutely right." She said, more to herself then to me. I wanted to hug her.

Eventually the studying became overwhelming. I knew I was trying too hard and that I probably didn't need to be burning myself out for nothing, but I wanted to do well. I put my books down and looked out my window, grimacing as I saw the blanket of new snow that had fallen today, however the roads were plowed and the snow had stopped so I had no excuses. I picked up my phone. It was a Saturday night and I needed to unwind.

"Hey Bella." Alice answered lazily.

"Hi Alice, what are you up too?"

"Jasper and I are just watching a movie. I'm guessing you're studying?" she asked. "Do you want to take a break or something?"

"That'd be great," I sighed. "I'm exhausted; I can't look at another text book."

"Great!" she said. "Why don't you head to Jasper's? We'll figure out what to do from there."

After we hung up I wandered to my closet, fished out a fitted tan sweater, put my heavy down coat on, and threw some brown fur-lined boots over my jeans. It was freezing cold outside and I ran out to my car as fast as possible, slipping on an ice patch. I caught myself on my car, growling under my breath. I jumped in and turned on the heat full blast. I sat there shivering for a minute before I threw the car in drive. California was looking pretty good right about now.

When I got to Jasper's, Alice was in the kitchen making what looked like hot chocolate. There were a few thermoses lined up on the kitchen counter. I could hear Jasper's radio on in his room.

"What's that for." I asked, shrugging out of my jacket and plopping myself down at the kitchen table.

Alice looked at me over her shoulder, flashing me a brilliant smile.

"Well I called Rosalie, and her and Emmett were actually just about to call us to see if we wanted to go sledding…" she trailed off, studying my face for a reaction.

I didn't move an inch. I kept my face as still as possible so that she would keep talking.

"Anyway," she continued slowly, turning back towards her hot chocolate. "I thought it sounded like a great idea. There's enough snow on the ground and you've probably never done it before. It'll be fun."

After a long silence I finally leapt out of my chair. "Okay, Alice, sounds great. I'm going to go back home now but I'll see you tomorrow." I quickly threw my coat back on as Alice lunged for me.

"Come on Bella, don't be like this." She pleaded with me. "How do you know you're going to hate it until you try it? I mean really, you are just too dramatic."

I could hear Jasper laughing as he walked into the kitchen and I was slightly surprised to see Edward follow him out. They were bundled up from head to toe. "You both look ridiculous." I snapped at them. "This is a ridiculous idea."

Just then Emmett came bounding through the door. Shortly after Rosalie, Tanya, Irina, and Irina's sister Kate followed behind them, looking flushed and excited. What was wrong with these people? I thought to myself. "You are all crazy." I said out loud.

"Uh-oh looks like Bella is throwing some sunshine state hissy fit." Emmett said cheerfully. I glared at him. "You're not in Florida anymore Bella, let's do this." He pumped his fist in the air.

Rosalie threw a bag of clothes on the table in front of me. I fixed my icy look on her before I scanned through the bag. A hat, mittens, a scarf, and some tight looking pants that I could only guess were some sort of thermal underwear. I snorted as I pushed the bag away. My eyes caught Edward's, who looked like he was enjoying this way too much.

"I don't like snow either Bella." Irina said gently, trying to be convincing. "Sledding is fun though. You won't even get cold with all of this on."

I rolled my eyes but as I looked around me and saw everybody's excitement I couldn't help but feel a little curious. I knew that hurtling down some snowy wet hill was not a good idea for me, but at this point I would do just about anything to get away from my text books. I shot Alice another dirty look, grabbed the bag, and went to Jasper's bathroom to change.

We piled into two different cars. I avoided driving with Emmett in his big green Jeep, thinking that he would be a little too erratic of a driver for my taste. Instead I got into Edward's silver Volvo with Alice and Jasper. It took all of five minutes to regret this decision.

"You are a maniac." I yelled at him, panic in my voice. "Slow down!"

Edward was going at least 85mph down Lake Michigan Drive, a 55 mph road. He was hitting every turn and curve so hard I was flying into the passenger side door with a shriek. Alice and Jasper were laughing in the back, enjoying every second.

"Bella, relax." Edward said, and I felt terror run through me as he turned his head towards me with a smirk on his face. "I'm a great dri-"

"KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD." I demanded, covering my face with my mitten-clad hands. "I swear Edward Cullen if you do not slow down I am going to hurt you." I tried to say it so it was believable, but it came out as a weak yelp.

Finally he sighed in my direction. Seeing me hiding my face from impending death must have made him feel bad because he began inching back on the gas pedal, muttering something about me being a baby. I calmed down as the needle inched down towards sixty, ignoring Alice and Jasper snickering at me in the backseat.

When we finally got to the park, I got out of the car quickly, my legs feeling like jelly.

"This should be a piece of cake after that." I said in Edward's direction. He grinned at me, putting a blue nylon hat on his head and over his ears, and walked to Emmett's truck to help him grab the sleds out of the back.

I stood there surveying the area. Everybody did look like they were having fun, much to my annoyance. There were families everywhere, and I finally had a break a smile when I saw two young boys in matching green snowsuits having a snowball fight and bursting into fits of giggles every few moments.

The whole group headed to a clustering of hills on the west end of the park. They didn't look so scary, I thought myself. Maybe I could actually do this.

We finally reached the top of a hill that didn't have too much traffic on it. Emmett excitedly grabbed the largest sled and threw himself on it, belly down. Rosalie laughed as she struggled to push him and finally he began sliding on his own. He reached the bottom with no problems.

Alice and Jasper were next. They doubled up on a sled, Jasper sitting behind Alice and putting his arms tightly around her. Tanya rushed forward to push them. About half-way down they tipped over, and Alice began laughing so hard I thought she was wouldn't be able to get back up.

"So, does this look so bad?" Edward teased, coming up next to me.

I pushed his arm playfully. "Yeah well if you're so tough why don't you get on a sled next?" I challenged him.

He immediately jumped onto a red plastic circular saucer looking thing, sitting cross legged and holding on to the front. He turned back towards me. "C'mon Bella, I need a push."

I grabbed the back of the saucer, with the intent of shoving it downhill as hard as possible. Instead I felt my legs fly forward and I landed on my behind, the pain rushing up my back. "Ow!" I cried out, blushing with anger as everybody started laughing. Edward, trying hard to suppress his own laughter, stood up in his saucer to help me up. When he grabbed my arm I tugged on him, pulling him down with me.

"Bella!" he cried, and I shrieked as he lunged at me, trying to push me further down into the snow. I heard a whoosh of air as a snowball hit the back of his head with excellent precision. I looked up to see Rosalie with a very pleased look on her face.

I struggled to get up as Edward started to roll his own menacing snow ball, and I slipped again when it hit me in the shoulder. Next thing I knew everybody was in on the snow ball fight, with Kate and Irina jumping onto sleds to escape the war at the bottom of the hill. I did the same, and immediately regretted the decision as I realized my sled was heading right for somebody else's.

As my sled collided with the other person, they went flying to the left and I ended up on my stomach a few steps away. I wasn't hurt, but I was most definitely embarrassed. I got up quickly to make sure the other person was okay, and I started to laugh and I realized who it was that I hit.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed, holding out my hand for him to take.

"My goodness Bella, you are lethal!" He said, chuckling as he stood up. "Actually I'm surprised I didn't send you flying all the way back to Florida, as little as you are."

"Bella!" I heard Alice call from the top of the hill. "Are you okay?"

I shot her a thumbs up before I turned back to Jacob.

"What a coincidence. What brings you out here?" I asked him, taking off my hat to shake the snow out of my hair.

"I'm with Sam and a few other friends. He's been chasing after this Leah girl, who I cannot stand, but I tagged along anyway. I love winter weather."

I stuck out my tongue in disgust and he laughed, looking past my shoulder. "Uh-oh, is that your boyfriend or something?" he asked.

I spun around to see what he meant. Edward was heading down the hill on foot towards us, looking a little peeved.

"Uh, no it's not." I said, still turned around watching him. "I don't know what his deal is."

When Edward finally reached us his face was contorted in anger. "What is your problem?" he shot at Jacob.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob straightened his stance so that the entirety of his height was in view. This didn't seem to phase Edward one bit.

"You think you could watch what you're doing? You could have really hurt her." Edward took a step forward and my eyes went wide.

"Um, Edward. It's no big deal. We're both fine, and I know him. This is Jacob, he's a friend." I assured him, shooting an apologetic look at Jacob.

"Well tell your friend to watch where he's going next time." Edward spat, turning around quickly and heading back up the hill.

I shrugged at Jacob mouthing 'sorry' to him as I turned to follow Edward up. He didn't say a word to me, and I kept quiet, trying to calm the anger that was bubbling up inside me. Why did he have to make it good again just to mess it all up? I wondered, feeling my face heat up.

Alice was staring at us with a worried expression in her eyes when we reached the group again. They were all still laughing about their snow ball fight but Alice and Jasper seemed to have noticed what had just happened. I shook my head when Alice started to make her way towards me and she stopped in her tracks, fidgeting a little. We both watched Edward as he stomped back to his car. There was a wooden bench that had been cleared of snow and I slammed myself down, throwing my arms over my chest.

Alice came and set next to me and I started to unload on her.

"He came down there and started yelling at him Alice!" I yelled heatedly. "It was my friend and that was embarrassing."

Alice bit her lip, not sure what to say.

"I mean who does your brother think he is?" I asked, turning to her. "First he freaks out on me at Jasper's, then he comes over claiming to want to be friends, and now he's yelling at my friends? His mood swings are too much. Alice I know he's your brother but he makes me so angry."

Alice was looking at me, a little shocked. "When did he come over your house?" she asked me.

"After I was sick and he took me home. He came by the next day to see if I was alright, and then kept apologizing to me about Jasper's. He said he didn't want our relationship to be so cold." I said, a sarcastic bite to my voice. "Too bad he can't control his temper."

Alice was staring at me, looking slightly confused. "Bella, listen, I can't give you any excuses for his behavior, but I can say that he is a good guy."

I snorted, and then felt a little guilty. This was her brother; I didn't want this to affect my friendship with Alice. I sat there a little while longer then finally turned back to her.

"Listen Alice, it's no big deal. I can get along with him. I just don't think him and I will ever be friends, but I don't want to hurt our relationship."

Alice threw me into a hug, "Bella, don't worry about that. I might not be able to say any negative about Edward, but I do understand. Let's just forget about it for now okay? This was supposed to be fun."

I nodded and we got up, ready for more sledding and snow, but every once in awhile I couldn't help but glance back at the parking lot to the Volvo, where Edward sat the entire rest of the night.

***

Final exams came and went in a flurry. Although I had planned to visit Renee and Phil in California, I decided at the last moment to cancel. There was a snowstorm making its way across the country and the thought of being a stranded traveler made my stomach hurt. I spent Christmas Day with Charlie instead, eating chicken nuggets and exchanging gifts.

"Thanks Bella, this is great." He said, holding up the George Foreman grille I had bought for him. He had proven to me over the last few months that he was completely incapable of cooking anything that didn't come in a box, so I figured this would help him on the nights I wasn't home to make dinner. How he managed before me was still a mystery that I didn't want an explanation for.

"It's really easy Dad, I promise. I'll show you how to use it."

He handed over my gift. It was a small unwrapped box. I couldn't imagine what it could be and I carefully opened it and gasped as I saw the tiny necklace inside.

"Wow. Dad, it's beautiful, thank you." I said quietly, trying to fight back tears. It was a small but sparking diamond hanging by a delicate silver chain. Nobody had ever given me anything like this before, and I stayed quiet, knowing how uncomfortable Charlie would be if I started to cry. I quickly put it on and smiled warmly at him.

"It's nothing Bella, really." He said, turning red. "I just noticed you didn't have any nice jewelry and I saw this. It's pretty, but it's not too much. You know, I know you don't like to be flashy…" he ended it there and before he could back away, I lunged forward to hug him, letting one tear slip.

***

Alice and Edward's parents had decided to throw a large New Years Eve party in Downtown Grand Rapids. Since I had decided to stay in town and Rosalie and Emmett's family's lived fairly close and they could make it back by then, Alice had invited us all to stay with them at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel, letting us know that the cost would be covered. I refused in the beginning, but refusing Alice is not something one does easily, and eventually I agreed with the condition that I would be put in a standard room. According to Rosalie the Cullen's were extremely rich and influential, but also very kind and generous. Alice and Edward's father Carlisle was a Doctor and their mother Esme was a famous interior designer, Rosalie had shown me some of the articles about her various magazines Alice had saved.

Predictably, Alice had forced me to the mall with her a week prior to the event, citing that the dinner was formal and we needed to find dresses to wear. Rosalie opted out, citing she already had a perfect dress and needed to instead get her hair and nails done.

"Bella!" I heard Alice cry from across the women's department at Macy's. "I found it!"

I trudged over in the direction of her voice. We had already been here for over an hour and I was tired. "This one better be it Alice."

I found her standing among a rainbow of clothing, holding up a deep blue halter style knee-length dress. It was definitely beautiful, and I realized quickly that she had meant this dress to be for me.

"Alice, why can't I just go with that black one we found earlier?" I whined. This dress was too gorgeous; it belonged on Rosalie, not me. I was sure to feel uncomfortable in it. It was sleeveless for goodness sake; did she think this was July?

"Bella please explain to me how black emphasizes your amazing hair and eye color? Oh right, it doesn't." Alice said, stomping her foot. "You are buying this dress."

I sighed, reaching out to touch the soft fabric. "Well then, I guess we're going to have to get some really fabulous shoes." I said, giving in.

Alice danced around happily, immediately pulling me towards that very department. I stood in the middle of the dozens of designer shoes, watching helplessly as Alice pulled the poor salesman around by his arm, trying to find exactly what she, or I suppose I, wanted.

After roughly 20 minutes of this, Alice sulked back to me, "They don't have the right shade of blue Bella, we're going to have to get some shoes dyed."

"Alice!" I exclaimed, shaking my head. "It's not like we're going to Prom again, it's a New Years party. Let me just get the black dress an-"

"You went to Prom?" Alice asked incredulously, interrupting me mid-sentence.

"Well, no…" I trailed off.

"Bella! This is not just a regular party. This. Is. An. Event." I could tell she was getting a little frustrated with me, and I honestly did feel bad. I wasn't trying to push her parent's party aside, but I couldn't make myself care about dresses and shoes.

Finally I decided to just go along with the condition that she get the shoes for me and I would pay her back. I was not about to spend an hour trying to match a dye color to some dress. She jumped up and down, kissing me swiftly on the cheek. "Done and done! Bella you are going to look amazing. Now, time for me."

This was going to be a long day.

****

We all checked into the hotel in the morning before the incoming snow storm could hurt travel. Grand Rapids was only a 10 minute drive, but we were bracing for white out conditions and wanted to avoid them if at all possible.

I couldn't believe how gorgeous the Amway Grand was. It was not only a hotel, but a shopping mall, banquet center, fitness center, and also boasted three four star restaurants. I had never been anywhere this nice in my life, and I was sure I would never forget it.

We all had rooms on the same floor. Rosalie and Emmett were on one side of me and Edward was on the other, which annoyed me to no end. Our rooms were old-fashioned and all decorated differently from what I could tell. Mine was blue and gold with a four poster bed and a large two-pane window. I was relived to see Rose and Emmett's bed was on the opposite wall to my room, for obvious reasons. At least I knew I would be able to get some sleep this weekend.

I made my way down to Alice's room, which perfectly suited her and I was sure she had picked it out before coming here. It was a soft green, with beautifully hard-carved and painted stark white furniture, complete with a large vanity, which she had already situated herself in front of.

For the rest of the day Alice, Rosalie, and I got ready in Alice's room while the guys played pool in the hotel's rec room.

"How do I look?" Alice asked sweetly, coming out of the bathroom spinning.

"Fantastic Alice." Rosalie smiled at her and I nodded in agreement. She did look amazing. She was wearing a little red dress with spaghetti straps, a ruched-waist, and silver heels. Her hair was curled and pinned back with a large silver rhinestone clip.

Rosalie was next, emerging from the oversized bathroom looking like a model. After several debates with Alice, she had chosen a strapless silk deep pink dress that flowed around her amazing legs perfectly. She adorned her feet with rhinestone studded strappy heels to match.

When they were finished getting ready they both turned to me. I had so far allowed Rosalie to straighten my hair, which I had never done before, but since then I had been sitting quietly on the bed.

"Okay Bella," Alice said, hands on her hips. "You're hair looks great, but we really need to finish you up. We only have a half hour until dinner."

They went to work on my face, even attacking me with an eyelash curler, which I refused.

"Enough!" I cried out when Alice started in on my eyebrows with some sort of pencil. "My eyebrows are fine Alice; just let me put on the dress." I got up, grabbing the dress from where it was laid out on the bed.

When I got out of the bathroom Alice and Rosalie both stood up, looking like they were about to applaud. I rolled my eyes when I saw that Alice was actually tearing up. They were too much.

"Bella you look stunning." Rosalie grinned.

Alice came forward with the shoes and my jaw fell open. "I can't wear these Alice! I'm going to fall flat on my face!" I cried, peering at the high heels with far too many straps of fabric on them. They looked almost like Rosalie's minus the rhinestones, and there was no way I would make it through the night in an upright position. There was nothing I could do about it now, I realized. I sighed and put them on my feet, at least happy that they seemed comfortable.

We eventually made our way down the elevators to the lower floor where the party was being held. I had yet to meet Alice's parents and I was excited to finally get to know them, from what I had been hearing up until this point they were extraordinary people.

When we walked into the hall I couldn't believe the scope of it. There were probably enough seats for 200 or more people, and the space was decorated beautifully. The theme was black and silver, in general New Years tradition, but Esme had done it with a lot of class, instead of throwing around glitter and confetti. Everything was so elegant.

I was staring around me and spinning to get a better look at the chandelier hanging from the ceiling when I realized Edward was standing no more then 10 feet in front of me, watching my every move.

I froze in place, unable to tear my eyes away from his. He looked incredible in his suit and his face was intense, his eyes almost sad. I again felt a need to reach out to him. He took a step toward me and my heart skipped a beat. Without realizing I did it, I had taken a step towards him as well.

"Bella!" Alice called suddenly and my eyes broke away from Edward's face, glancing in her direction. She was walking quickly toward me until she saw me and Edward's stances, then she stopped short, her mouth slightly open, looking back and forth at us.

I looked at Edward one more time, his eyes were now dead, and he turned briskly and walked towards a group of people who had just arrived. I blinked, turning towards Alice, who was staring after Edward. I cleared my throat and shot her a wavering smile. "What's up Alice?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Uhm, I wanted you to meet my parents." She looked at me as if she couldn't decide whether to say anything else or not.

"Let's go then." I said, grabbing her hand and suddenly feeling for the first time in my life like I needed a drink.

Alice led me over to probably the handsomest couple I had ever seen. Carlisle was blonde and tall, with the same features and green eyes as Edward. Esme was petite like Alice, with light brown hair pinned up like an actress in the 1920's would have done. She was absolutely timeless.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella." Alice gestured to me and her mother took my hand lightly.

"I'm Esme. It's so good to meet you Bella." She said warmly. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." I said shyly. "This is exquisite and I just want to say thank you for having me." I looked at both Esme and Carlise with a smile.

"Alice is very fond of you Bella." Carlisle said kindly. "If she considers you family already then we consider you family."

Alice and I chatted with her parents for a few moments before they had to greet another group of guests. We wandered over to the table that Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were sitting at. Rose had a glass of champagne and I looked around desperately for another one. I had finally gotten control over my outside appearance, but inside I was barely keeping it together. I couldn't understand the feelings I was feeling and now that Edward had disappeared I felt completely lost.

"You're drinking Bella?" Alice asked with surprise in her voice when I had finally located a waiter walking by with a tray full of champagne.

I looked at her, pursing my lips, and nodded, letting my emotions across my face just long enough that she could see how wound up I was. She bit her lip, but didn't say anything after that.

Once dinner began and I had been through my first glass I felt myself calm down considerably, and I began laughing along with the rest of my friends. Edward had reappeared just prior to dinner, but had sat down at another table with his parents. Out of the corner of my eye I kept seeing Esme place her hand on Edward's arm and look at him with raw emotion. It was touching how much they seemed to openly love each other.

Edward had seemed to relax as well and occasionally our eyes would meet. I began to feel fidgety and I reached for another glass of champagne just as dinner was ending and the music began. There was still two hours left until midnight.

Suddenly I felt somebody tap me on the shoulder and I turned around to see Jasper standing there, a faint smile on his face.

"May I have this dance Bella?" He asked politely, extending his hand.

I laughed as I took it. "Did Alice put you up to this?" I asked him as we began to dance. I tried my hardest to do well but I wasn't a very good dancer and I crushed his foot a couple times with my heel.

"She did not." He lied, ignoring the pain that must've been shooting through his foot. "You are the most beautiful girl here tonight, next too Alice of course, and I had to at least say I stole one dance."

I sighed, knowing full well that Alice had done this to take my mind off Edward. I glanced passed Jasper and noticed Edward sitting right off of the dance floor, his eyes on us.

"Jasper, I need something here." I turned my pleading eyes on him. "I can't take this."

He glanced down at me, frowning a little. He spun me further away from Edward, not even stopping when I slammed down on his foot hard enough to draw blood. "Whoops." I muttered.

"Bella, Edward is a good person but he's complicated. He has…a past." He tried to explain. "He is just trying to get over things that have happened in the last couple of years and I think he doesn't want to involve anybody in that, even if he…cares for them."

I blinked. Cares for them? Did he mean for me? My head was swimming and as the music ended I mouthed "thank you" to Jasper and walked away in search of another glass of champagne. After finding one I sat down with Rosalie and Emmett.

"Bella!" Emmett poked my side, "I'm not going to lie. You look good." He grinned widely as Rosalie pinched his arm.

"Honestly Emmett, do you have no decency? If you're going to make some meat-head comments at least tell her she looks beautiful." Rosalie rolled her eyes at him, but smiled at me.

"Are you doing okay?" She asked, "You've had about 3 glasses of champagne and I never see you drink."

I blew it off. "Oh I'm fine Rose, honestly. I still drink on special occasions, I'm not completely lame."

"Not looking like that you're not!" Emmett hooted and hollered until Rosalie grabbed his arm and yanked him to the dance floor, where he still continued to wiggle his eyebrows at me from afar. I couldn't help but break into a smile, Emmett was refreshing.

I looked down at my champagne glass and tried relax.

I looked up after a lon while when I heard a chair moving, and my heart flipped when I saw it was Edward, sitting down across the table from me. He watched me as I nervously took a drink out of my glass and then set it aside.

"You don't drink." He said, his voice flat.

"I do drink when I get worked up." I said to him pointedly, hoping my honesty would force some honesty out of him in return.

He searched my face for a moment and I guessed he was trying to think of something to say to me. I tried to control my features, looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Bella," he started, pausing for another moment. "I'm not going to apologize to you again for my temper, because I know it means nothing at this point. What I do want to do is be honest with you, but I don't know if I'm ready to tell you everything yet." He twisted his perfect mouth into something resembling a smile. "What I can tell you is that I think you are amazing, and I can't keep my eyes off of you tonight." He raised his eyes to mine and my heart went wild.

"You don't have to say anything now." He said when I continued to stare at him without a word. He began to look worried, as if he was expecting a different reaction, either that or he was slowly realizing I had gone brain dead.

"Edward," I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I had no idea you felt that way. I can't-I can't sort through my feelings when I don't have the answers I need. One minute you're angry for no reason and the next you have feelings for me. I can tell you that I think about you a lot, but beyond that I just, I don't…" I didn't know what else to say. I suddenly felt deflated and I let out a frustrated sigh.

Edward was staring at Alice and Jasper dancing, his face free of any emotion. We were silent for a long while.

Finally the countdown to the New Year began. Edward and I rose to our feet simultaneously, joining our friends out on the large dance floor. I plastered a smile on my face as Alice grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly before letting go and putting her small arms around Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett were facing each other, no doubt preparing for an embarrassing tongue-swap, and Edward stood perfectly still next to me, I felt like the heat of his body was going to set me on fire. I took a deep breath, leaning away from him.

"Five, four, three, two, one…" as the crowd began to cheer I suddenly felt a rush of air as Edward pulled me into his arms and lifted my chin, bringing his lips to mine fiercely. I melted into his embrace, allowing him to part my lips with his tongue as I involuntarily brought my hands up, tangling my fingers in his hair. My hands reached the back of his neck and he pressed his body against mine. I shuddered from pleasure, wanting more, but suddenly it was over and he had stepped away from me, pushing me back gently by my arms. Our eyes were locked and our faces both flushed.

"Happy New Year." he said in a husky voice, pulling me close again.