Coming home and finding Enma collapsed on the bathroom floor was the scariest moment of my life. Scarier then any battle I'd fought, scarier then any enemy I've faced… He had clearly vomited blood; there was still some dripping from his lips. The stark contrast from his blood made his complexion look white. My own stomach dropped, because at first I thought he wasn't breathing. When I picked him up his eyes opened a little though. Then he just gave me this stupid, apologetic, smile and said, "I know it's my turn to make dinner, but I'm not really feeling well. I'm sorry." That was three days ago… He hasn't woken up again since.
It was late November, and raining. It wasn't cold enough to snow, but it was one of those awful half frozen slushy rains. The sound of it hitting against the window was just one more rhythmic sound to fill the room. It was late afternoon, but the heavy cloud cover made it dark and there was only one small lamp on in the little hospital room.
Tsuna rubbed his face tiredly. He hadn't slept much for the past three days, for that matter he hadn't even moved much. Not that he felt like doing either. He let out a shaky breath and stroked Enma's hand with his thumb. There was nothing he could do. There wasn't anything anyone could do, and even if he knew that he still hated not being able to help him. For the first time since graduating high school he really felt like 'no-good Tsuna' again. He quietly lifted Enma's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles.
"Are you going to sleep all day again? It's not good for you to keep sleeping this much… I wish you'd wake up soon." Just like yesterday and the day before Enma didn't respond. Tsuna sighed softly and interlaced their fingers, the matching gold bands on their ring fingers clicking together softly.
He didn't remember falling asleep but the next time he looked at the clock it was a little after ten pm and someone had draped a blanket over his shoulders. It was still raining. Enma's hand twitched lightly in his sleep and Tsuna gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Don't worry. I'm still here."
"Tsu-…" Enma's voice cracked, cutting off his words, and was barely even audible.
Tsuna's breath caught in his throat for a moment, and the tears of relief that were starting to form felt hot.
"Oh, God… Enma… Thank God…" He pressed a hand against Enma's cheek and rubbed the tears away with the other. He started to move to go inform someone at the nurse's station but Enma grabbed his hand lightly and he stopped.
"Wait… Stay with me for a while first. Please?"
Tsuna bit his lip slightly, he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't quite put a reason to. He sat down on the bed and slid his arm under Enma's shoulders and pulled him tight to his chest. Enma pressed his face against Tsuna's neck and smiled a little.
"You smell good…"
Tsuna breathed a soft laugh and kissed Enma's hair, "I haven't showered in three days though."
"Tsuna smells like Tsuna so it's nice."
"If you say so."
They stayed like that for a brief, indefinite amount of time. Tsuna kissing Enma's head and face repeatedly, holding him tighter then he ever had before. Enma didn't move, or speak again and Tsuna wondered if he'd fallen asleep again. But then Enma raised his hand to Tsuna's cheek and Tsuna could feel it shaking, like it took all his energy just to keep it here. He placed his own hand over Enma's and leaned over to kiss Enma when prompted. The kiss was quiet and brief and more loving and passionate then when they were married. When they pulled apart Enma's breathing was shaky and labored and that dark pit formed in Tsuna's stomach all over again.
"Enma…?"
"I'm sorry… I wanted to spend more time with Tsuna. I'm sorry…"
Time of death: November 29th, 11.03 PM
Tsuna buried his face in Enma's hair and clutched him tighter to his chest. His shoulders shook slightly as he started crying. Even as Enma's body went cold and stiff he sobbed and begged Enma to wake up again. He wouldn't move or relinquish Enma's body until Dino arrived around 4 am. Even then it was only after he had to physically remove Tsuna from the room. Tsuna struggled against Dino's hold, sobbing and screaming.
"Dino, let go! You have to let me stay with him! He hates sleeping alone! He gets nightmares and…!" He jerked his body forward trying to break Dino's grip again and then slouched defeatedly, "Don't take him away… please…"
Dino sighed softly and gently pressed Tsuna's head down to his shoulder. He didn't say anything and just let Tsuna cry for a while before taking a step back giving him a small, reassuring smile and guided Tsuna by the shoulders towards the lift.
"Come on. I'll take you home."
Enma's funeral was held on December 2nd. Three days after his death. One day after our second wedding anniversary. He was buried with his wedding ring, but for safety's sake I held onto the Shimon ring. I understand why, but still, it should have stayed with him, it meant so much to him. The ceremony and burial were just a blur. The only thing I clearly recall was that that day, it snowed for the first time that winter.