Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Harry Potter, not the song. I know it wasn't written yet, but work with me, please!
Lily closed her eyes, as her heart pounded. Her palms grew damp with sweat. Who knew her Muggle Studies Professor was so sadistic? Making them sing a Muggle song in front of the class. How could she? She was shy, a quiet bookworm.
On the bright side, her two best friends were in the class, and singing with her. She was surprised they had agreed to the song she had picked. But, then again, the song summed up her feelings completely. Only they knew about the fiasco of a romance that had happened that summer.
Unwillingly, she let her mind flow back to the lazy summer days, spent hand in hand with him. His name was Kevin, her first boyfriend, her first love. She knew it was a bad idea to fall in love with her first boyfriend, but it was inevitable. He was everything she wanted. Smart, intelligent, kind, a gentleman, a musician… the list went on and on.
But, he broke her heart, by cheating on her. He wasn't really a gentleman, Lily supposed. She shook her head in a small motion. Now, because of him, she couldn't trust anyone in a relationship. Obviously she wouldn't trust Potter, right?
After all, he was arrogant, and cruel, and dumb. He didn't like her, she was sure of it. Lily thought that to him, she was an object, another conquest. She, as she and her friends went up to sing, decided to pour her soul into the song.
Waving her wand, she transfigured her two friends' robes into white togas. Marlene and Dorcas nodded their thanks, as both of them were in the midst of nervous anticipation. With a second wave of her wand, she transfigured hers into a Grecian dress, in light lavender. Lily wasn't nervous, she had sung solos in her Church choir before. She knew she had a decent voice, and she knew that she could sing the song. Marlene and Dorcas had no similar mental knowledge.
"Now, let me present Lily and the Muses, singing 'I Won't Say (I'm In Love)' from Hercules!" Her Muggle Studies Professor cried, as polite clapping filled the classroom. Lily stepped up to the front of the stage, as the lights went dark. All they could see was her. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she began to sing.
"If there's a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!"
She let her eyes drift over to James. He was watching her intently, not as if he was trying to figure out what she looked like naked, but just to watch her. To notice what she was doing, and why she was singing this song. She got the distinct impression that he was trying to send her some telepathic wave length. Too bad she couldn't, no, wouldn't pick it up.
The lights began to turn up, and Marlene and Dorcas stepped into view. Both girls looked like the personification of Greek Goddesses, with their long dark hair and lustrous eyes. Their eyes flickered to James, before they began their part.
"Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of"
Lily felt something bristle in her subconscious. It was almost as if Dorcas and Marlene were trying to persuade her to give James a chance. But that couldn't be it. They knew how much Kevin had hurt her. They knew James didn't care about her. So why were they trying to set her up with him?
The rest of the song passed in a blur. Lily vaguely remembered cheering, applauding her and her friends. She knew their voices were decent, she knew they had sung well. But why were the cheers so loud?
She realized the answer when she saw James and Sirius standing up. They were the source of the noise. As soon as she could, Lily fled from the class. She made her way to her dormitory, which she shared with the other Gryffindor seventh-year girls. Rumors of a Head Dorm were just that, rumors and fabrications.
James' face danced in front of her. What was going on? She didn't even like him. In frustration, she buried her head underneath her pillow. Aloud, she sang the next few bars of the song.
"No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no"
As Marlene and Dorcas headed back to the dorm for their break, James caught up with them. His eyes were worried.
"Who was Lily singing about? Someone broke her heart, and I want to know who it is!" He demanded, his chin jerked up in a challenge. Marlene rolled her eyes, while Dorcas snorted. "Why won't you tell me? Do you really think I don't care about Lily?" The instantaneous nod from the two beauties made him slump. "Merlin! You'd think I had made myself clear. I really like her. I want to get to know her, I want to sit by the fireplace with her, holding her hand and just studying. I want to kiss her. There are other things I would really like to do that I won't say out loud." With that he gave them a wink.
Dorcas laughed. "You wouldn't be a seventeen year old boy if you didn't have some of those things. However, a boy, better than you, gave into those urges, while she was dating him. Too bad he was doing them with another girl." Marlene growled menacingly, deep in her throat.
"Fucking bastard, he completely tore Lily apart. He was her first boyfriend, her first love. Asshole. Anyway, she has no trust in relationships now. Go chase someone else." With that, she tossed her hair and pranced away. Marlene was the fiery one, the one who cursed a storm, who gave into her anger. James looked down at the ground, disappointed.
"Don't give up, but back off. If you give her space, she might come around. Jerk-face's biggest mistake was smothering her. She wondered what he had to hide. Give her space, and see if she'll come back." With a shrug and a shoulder rub, Dorcas walked away.
James stared down the hallway, eyes unseeing. It would be hard on him, giving her space. He wanted to see if his fantasies provided accurate information about her. But, Dorcas' words made sense. He just had to wait.
Dorcas and Marlene entered the room, to find Lily cleaning furiously. All the windows were sparkling clean, the mirror nearly blinding in its sparkle. She turned to them, a sad look in her eyes.
"James has his reflection in everything. I am trying to get it out." She whispered. They couldn't decide if she was angry or sad. However, it confirmed one thing for Marlene and Dorcas. Lily had a case of the fancies for James.
"You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh"
The girls sang, dancing around Lily. She rolled her eyes. She couldn't like James, he was wrong for her. So, in reply, she sang back.
"It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh"
She didn't want to be hurt again. He was wrong for her, completely and utterly wrong. However, in the back of her mind she realized that Mr. Perfect wasn't so perfect. Over the course of several days, the next segment of the song was sung to her, whispered to her, passed to her on notes. She felt hounded, like she was being torn apart.
At night, Lily couldn't sleep. She was trying to figure out her feelings for James. She couldn't admit to herself she liked him, but couldn't deny it either.
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad"
One Friday afternoon, she was cornered by Dorcas and Marlene. They asked her to tell them the truth.
No chance, now way
I won't say it, no, no
She couldn't. Not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't know the truth herself. Did she like him? Did she not like him? How could she figure it out? Nowadays, the thought of him brought a secret smile to her lips. A smile that could barely be seen. Unfortunately, Dorcas was one observant girl.
Lily instantly schooled her expression into a mask of no emotion, but not before the song could be thrown back at her.
"Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love"
Dorcas was glad that Lily was starting to fall for James. They were more alike than they thought. Lily was withdrawn, a deep introvert, dedicated to solving everything on her own. Unfortunately, she had two best friends who loved matchmaking. However, she protested their attempt to set her up with James.
"This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love"
Lily was sure a relationship between them was doomed to failure. She wanted no part of anything like that. She had been hurt enough.
One night, as she lay in bed Lily had an epiphany. If she was worried about being hurt, she must have some feelings for James. It was so logical. She giggled in the still quit of the night.
You're doin' flips read our lips
You're in love
Yet, she still felt she needed to deny her feelings, as if they were something to be ashamed over. James was more distant now. Not in an 'I hate you now' way, but in an 'I am giving you space' kind of way.
She appreciated it.
You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it
Finally, Dorcas and Marlene realized the only way to get her to admit her feelings was to make her face them.
Girl, don't be proud
It's O.K. you're in love
So, in a show of Slytherin cunning, they told James to kiss Lily.
Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love
She didn't say she liked him, or loved him out loud at first. She was too busy relishing the feel of his lips on hers.