A/N - This is my reasoning behind the lack of Abby/Connor cuteness in Primval series 4. Abbys pov set after 4.5 and before 4.6, so right now basically.
It was different
Everything was different
Back then, it was just us against the world. Literally. And it worked for us. Sure we'd still bicker, but we were all the other one had. And it made sense.
But now?
It's different. There's so many factors to consider now. It's funny, now that I'm back in the present day with so many people around, I've never felt more alone. When we first came back, we tried to carry on as we had been. It worked for a while, and then people and things started getting in the way. He was made to stay at the ARC whilst I went out into the field. Of course he rebelled against it, and im proud of him for that.
He's changed, but so have I. He always felt the need to protect me, and back then I appreciated it. Now it just bugs me. And I wish it didn't. I'm not as breakable as he thinks I am. When Phillip wanted to kill the creatures, he just stood there. Afraid to take sides. I would have appreciated the support; he would have always given me his support in the old days. But, he just stood there. Unsure whether he should support me, or Phillip. And then he had the cheek to tell me not to get emotional. That's not the man I remember. Ordering me to wait for back up, or him. I could do it on my own! I'm not a china doll. I suppose I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who cares about my well being. But I don't feel lucky. I feel as if we're drifting. Slowly drifting apart, now that I care for the creatures and he's always hanging on Phillips every word.
I suppose we just need to adjust, were so used to it being just the two of us. It's bound to take time. Right? It's just so confusing now, there's so much to consider. Sometimes I wonder if he still loves me the way he used to. The look on his face when he thought I had been eaten told me everything I needed to know. That he was scared, scared that he'd lost me, scared that he would lose me. It broke my heart, and yet all I could say was 'I'm here'. I suppose I was just shocked to see him with his defences down after all this time. He loves me. He'd rather die than let anything happen to me, something he's almost had to prove so many times in the past.
And yet now I'm more confused than ever. He hasn't changed, not really. Sure he's more mature, but his love for me never wavered, not for a moment. I'm the one who's changed. Since I got back I've built a wall around me. Whenever something changes, I build a wall to protect myself until I'm certain I won't get hurt, a coping mechanism. He got through those walls last year, but now, I think he's afraid to try, as if I built the wall around him specifically. Which I didn't, or hadn't intended to. I'm adjusting, we both are. And yet after all this time, the laughs and heartbreak, I've managed to shut out the one person I would do anything to keep in. But we'll get there. I may be unsure about a lot of things at the moment, but of this I am sure.