Rupture
Season: 9
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Category: Ship, H/C
Rating: R
Spoilers: New Order, Avalon
Warnings: non-graphic slash
Disclaimer: The Stargate universe and its inhabitants are the sole property of MGM et al. I don't own them. I just like to play with them.
Hammond has retired and Jack gets promoted, but his new post is not exactly good news. This is an official tissue warning, people!
XxXxXxXx
"I'm home." Daniel announced as he walked through the front door. "I brought dinner." He added, hoping he wasn't catching Jack in the middle of cooking something.
He'd left a message on Jack's cell phone to tell him not to bother with dinner, that he was in a Szechwan mood that night, but it was always a gamble as to whether Jack would actually check his voicemail. He had been known to ignore it for days. If it was important the person would call back. If it wasn't then Jack figured he probably didn't want to hear about it anyway.
"Out here." Came a reply from the back deck.
Daniel left the bags of food on the table and wandered through the open sliding glass door.
"Hey. Did you get my message?"
"No."
"Guess it doesn't really matter unless you've already ordered pizza or something." He shrugged.
Taking in the scene Daniel immediately put aside his concern over issues with dinner. Jack was sitting in a chair, drinking a beer, and scowling out at the lawn. Something was up that most likely had nothing to do with what they were going to eat that evening.
"What's going on?"
"I got orders." Jack said quietly, holding up a folded piece of paper.
"Orders?"
Jack nodded and handed it to him. Daniel cast another glance down at Jack who had still not even attempted eye contact and unfolded the page, a definite sense of foreboding crawling out of the shadows. Jack was clearly upset about something; not mad, but upset. Mad cropped up on a regular basis, but upset didn't happen very often. It only took the first two sentences of the official Air Force document for Daniel's concern to blossom into something much more disturbing.
"You're being transferred." Daniel stated.
Jack nodded and took another drink of beer.
"I don't understand."
"Hammond's finally taking retirement. They need a replacement." He answered in the same quiet tone.
"So they chose you? I mean, of course they chose you, but…"
"Hammond recommended me."
"When?"
"A few days ago, I guess."
"And they're transferring you just like that? With no warning?"
"Pretty much." Jack nodded out at the grass. "I have the option of retiring, but it just brings up the same issue it always has. Do I keep a hand in or quit and take up fishing full time?"
"What did you tell them?"
"Haven't yet."
Daniel settled into a chair as he finished reading the letter. Brigadier General O'Neill was supposed to report to Washington D.C. in five days. If he really was going that didn't leave a lot of time for trivial things like packing. If he really was going…Daniel didn't want to finish the thought as the implications began unfolding one after another in his mind. It was almost more than he could comprehend.
Out of the blue they wanted Jack in D.C. and obviously the invitation didn't include him bringing his current domestic partner along, a relationship they had both gone to great lengths to hide from the Air Force. Daniel had long suspected that one day it would cause some kind of issue where the military was concerned. He had never imagined that this would be the issue.
It wasn't an order. Well, he supposed it probably was, but Jack could turn them down. He might even be able to talk them into leaving him in command at the SGC. After all, he suddenly had friends in very high places. Still, this wasn't really the kind of thing a person just walked away from. Jack had worked his whole career for a chance like this. Not to mention the fact that it was Home World Security, the new entity that oversaw all matters of Earth's defense, including setting policy for the SGC. It was the chance for a person with extensive experience in the Mountain to finally have considerable input in wider circles. How many times over the past nine years had they wished for that?
Unfortunately, if Jack decided he didn't want the job that solved one issue, but created another. Someone had to fill that chair one way or the other. The wrong person could mean dire consequences for the future of the Stargate Program and the people of Earth. How many times had they seen that particular scenario play itself out with nearly catastrophic consequences? If Jack was in charge then someone like Kinsey or Simmons or the parade of short-sighted, closed-minded people like them wasn't.
Thoughts spinning through his head in a barely controlled tornado of implications Daniel tried to get a handle on a situation he had truly not seen coming. At some point during the attempt Jack had shifted his attention from the grass to his face, watching him, studying him.
"What?" Jack asked when their eyes finally met.
"It's just…it's a lot to take in." he admitted.
"I know." He nodded. "Any thoughts on what you want to have happen?"
"I don't know. I mean…it's a big decision." He replied. "What do you want to do?"
"To be honest, I wouldn't mind retiring." Jack admitted. "But at the same time this is a chance to help set the Stargate Program on firmer footing."
"What do you mean?"
"If I'm going to HWS then I get to pick the guy that replaces me as CO here."
"They said that?"
"I'll make it a condition of my excepting the offer." Jack shrugged. "That means we won't end up with some NID sycophant attempting to run the SGC into the ground or, worse yet, turning it into the home base for The Trust."
"True."
"And it keeps that new international conglomerate of egomaniacs from putting their own guy in as head of HWS."
"IOC." Daniel supplied.
"Whatever they're calling themselves." Jack waved a dismissive hand in the air.
"And if you don't take it?" Daniel asked.
"Then I retire and pretend I've never heard of any of it."
Daniel nodded, dropping his gaze to the deck. It sounded a lot like Jack actually wanted to take the job. He just hadn't come right out and said it. "So…what do you want to do?" He repeated, flicking his glance back up to Jack's face.
"I don't know, Daniel." He sighed. "I want the job. I won't lie, but I don't want it badly enough to trade us for it."
Daniel twitched a brief smile and went back to staring at the deck, realizing that he'd just gotten his answer. If it weren't for them Jack would have already started packing. He loved the fact that Jack cared enough to put him center stage in the list of "cons", but that wasn't a good enough reason not to take the job; not this one.
"Then I think you should take it." He said quietly, reeling from the concept even as he said it.
It wasn't what he wanted. Not at all, but this choice had far bigger consequences than just the fate of their relationship. The silence that followed brought his eyes up from the weathered wood to find Jack staring back at him with an expression that was something between incredulous and disturbed.
"You're done with this? With us?"
"Not even close." Daniel replied. "But there are bigger things at stake than us."
"Not to me."
"Can we really afford to be selfish with a decision that has such far reaching effects?"
"I don't know that I'd call it 'far reaching'."
"If you get to be in place to help settle HWS into something meaningful then you get to help select the next person in line. If you don't, the same thing applies. I'm sure Hammond would choose someone else he felt he could trust, but there aren't really many people out there that are qualified for the job. The wrong person in that chair right now sets the stage for a whole lot of other wrong people in the future. The mission statement for this thing is too new to be left to chance, Jack. What it becomes depends a lot on who is heading it up right now. It could be something that helps Earth or it could be just another version of the NID, but with more authority. You actually know what we're facing. No one else does. To them it's a foreign concept that seems far too close to a bad science fiction movie to be real. I don't think either of us really wants a person with that little real life experience in charge."
Jack scowled back at him.
"Besides that, you're obviously not ready to retire. If you were you would have tossed out the letter and just told me you were quitting."
"Probably."
"If you don't really want out then I don't see you have a lot of choice here." Daniel shrugged, as disturbed by the concept as he was certain it was the right thing to do. "And if we weren't an issue you wouldn't be sitting here wondering what to do. You'd be out buying boxes."
"Maybe, but we are an issue, Daniel. A very important one."
"I agree." Daniel nodded. "But important enough to leave the future of the HWS and the SGC to chance?"
"At some point we're going to have to." Jack pointed out.
"Yeah, but that will be after HWS is already established and has a bit of history to draw from." Daniel argued. "I don't want to give up what we have, Jack. You know that, but we have a President in office that actually sees value in what we do. Hammond is still around to act as an unofficial advisor. The IOC can't even figure out what they're doing let alone with they want the SGC to be doing. This might be the only chance we get to inject some influence into future policies from the point of view of someone that has been knee deep in this program since it began. That's you, Jack. Nobody else fits."
"If I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to get rid of me."
"Then it's a good thing you know better." Daniel twitched him an attempt at a smile. "You know I don't want you to go. In fact, that's pretty close to the last thing I want to have happen right now. But I don't think this is the kind of thing you can turn down."
"I know." Jack finally admitted. "I've been sitting here for the past hour or so thinking pretty much the same thing. I guess I was hoping you would see something in it that I didn't. Some valid excuse to walk away…because, I, uh…I really don't want to leave you behind." He said, fiddling with the label on his bottle.
Daniel nodded at the deck, a lump in his throat and a wave of tears threatening as the realization settled in that this once in a life time opportunity for Jack was quite possibly bringing their other "once in a lifetime" to an end.
XxXxXxXx
Jack lay in the slowly gathering light of early morning with a flock of thoughts fluttering in his head. The new post was a great opportunity and would give him far more influence in the stargate program and its offshoots than he'd ever had before. On the downside it would also thrust him further into the political side of military policy…as if the situation needed any more of a downside than it had.
It was already tied at the hip to a dark mire of despair, the heart of which was still sleeping beside him. Jack desperately did not want to have the floor pulled out from under their relationship. He loved Daniel. No need to qualify it with flowery statements about how much. Daniel had his heart. There was no need to say anything else. He didn't give a damn that it was strictly against military policy or that its existence was continually putting his career at risk. After a couple of false starts and a very rocky period just before Daniel's leave of absence to play in an alternate plane, they had finally found their stride. The love they shared was the center of Jack's world and a week ago he would have been willing to say that he wouldn't have traded it for anything. He would still have been willing to say that except for the fact that it's exactly what he was planning to do. Even with Daniel's heartbroken approval he still hated himself for having to admit it.
The job was in D.C. and while Daniel was a civilian he couldn't just pull up stakes, quit his job at the SGC, and move to D.C. with him. Not without raising entirely too much interest with Jack's superiors and colleagues. Even Generals could get booted out for being involved with someone of the wrong gender. In truth, Daniel was free to go where he wanted, but if he decided to follow Jack he would have to disappear from the radar and spend a significant amount of time living in the shadows just to keep the military from getting suspicious. Yes, they could still be together, but that wasn't much of a life.
The East Coast wasn't that far away. It wasn't as if they were going to be living on different continents. They would only be a six hour flight apart, but in reality it was the end of life as they had known it. Sure, he could make promises that they would get together every other weekend at his new place in D.C. or his cabin in Minnesota or a dozen other places in between, but in reality it wouldn't be nearly that easy. There was a reason most long distance relationships failed. Keeping them together was a hell of a lot harder than it sounded. He wasn't a fool. Neither was Daniel. They both knew that when he waved good-bye and got on the transport for D.C. in four days' time their relationship would be all, but over. They would fight to keep it together in the hopes that the future would bring them a chance to put it back the way it was, but it would be a struggle; one that could go on for years. In short, they had a lot of heartache stretched out ahead of them and at some point it was very likely one of them would get tired of the hurt and call it officially over.
Jack looked over at the sleeping figure beside him as tears gathered in his eyes. He was killing the best thing he'd ever had. He was the luckiest fool on god's green earth and with the phone call he was planning to make to the President later that morning he was going to accentuate the "fool" part. He didn't want this and heaven knew Daniel didn't deserve it. Noble rationalizations about the future of HWS aside, he was breaking the heart of the most incredible person he'd ever met for the sake of a higher link in the chain of command. It was just a job. A lousy, stinking job…except that it wasn't.
Daniel was right. There was a lot more at stake in this decision than just their relationship. It was a chance to help craft the attitude and objectives of the most important (and least known) organization on the planet. It was vital to their continued existence as a race and that wasn't an overinflated view. It was the rock solid truth.
Jack could only hope that Daniel understood how much he really meant to him. That as far as he was concerned the fate of the human race and his love for Daniel were equally balanced. He was sacrificing one in favor of the other and it was no easy thing. "Sacrifice" was definitely the right word. It was killing him.
Daniel's tears that night when Jack had finally begged him to stop putting up a good front had ripped the heart out of him. He had sworn that one day, somehow he would put the whole thing right again and had meant every word, but that didn't make the separation they were facing any easier to take. It certainly didn't make sucking the life out of their relationship any easier to do when he didn't want it to end any more than Daniel did. They weren't over each other, but for all intents and purposes they were over, nonetheless.
Lying in the dim light, sighing up at the ceiling, Jack hadn't realized that Daniel was awake until he rolled toward him and replaced the arm he had rested on Jack's chest with his head. Draping himself across Jack's body he used his chest as a pillow and nestled himself into a comfortable position. Jack smiled, forcing himself to stay grounded in that moment. He didn't want to waste the precious time they had left by thinking about the impending future. "Now" was all that mattered because it was all they had.
"Had the worst dream." Daniel eventually mumbled quietly.
"Me, too." Jack admitted, running fingers through Daniel's rumbled hair. "What's worse, I was awake the whole time."
"Dreamed the IOC took over our relationship and your job. Kept rotating the people I was living with."
"That's not a dream that's a nightmare." Jack replied.
Daniel nodded against him.
"That's not part of the deal. I promise."
"Wish I could say that made me feel better."
"Yeah, me, too." Jack sighed before placing a kiss to the top of his head.
He wasn't expecting much eye contact for the next few days. It was a well known fact that Hurting Daniel had a very hard time with that and he hardly expected to see much of any other version of the man between now and the time he left.
Jack was dreading their good-bye. He'd never been a big fan of those types of things in the first place and this was going to be the mother of all farewells. It made him cringe just to think about it. In an effort to keep that final scene to a bare minimum he intended to say the things that needed to be said before it arrived. He'd learned his lesson about keeping that kind of stuff to himself when Daniel had died. There had been far too many things left unsaid and he'd spent the next year kicking himself for not having said them when he'd had the chance. He wasn't going to make that mistake again.
"There are a, um, some things I want to say before…"
"Jack. Don't."
"I know. I'm incredibly bad at this sometimes, but you need to hear it anyway."
"Jack."
"It's now or never, Daniel." He said, wrapping his arms around him. "Not a big fan, myself, but there's going to be enough about this that I regret already. I don't want to leave things unsaid."
"Do you remember the thing in Antarctica?" Daniel asked quietly.
"Which one?"
"When we put you in stasis."
"Yeah."
"Remember the note you wrote me before we left on that mission?"
"Yeah."
The silence that followed served to fill in the rest of the thought. Jack had written Daniel the heartfelt farewell he'd been unable to put into words and had left it for him to find in case the mission didn't go off exactly the way they had planned. He was perfectly willing to do the same thing this time rather than stumbling through trying to say it out loud. In fact, he preferred the idea as long as Daniel didn't feel slighted by it. If he was ok with it then that was one less daunting hurdle to cross.
"Ok." Jack agreed. "If that's what you want."
"I'm sorry." Daniel sniffled. "I just…I can't…"
"It's ok, Danny." Jack held him a little tighter. "Nothing to be sorry for. Whatever you want is fine with me."
He felt Daniel nod against his chest again, felt his arms latch onto him a little tighter, eventually felt the warm heat pooling in a spot on his shirt where the tears that went with the sniffling fell. Jack hadn't wanted to start the day the way things had ended the night before, but he really had no one to blame, but himself. He'd brought up the stupid topic in the first place and it was his stupid transfer that was creating the whole mess.
Just like the night before there was no sobbing, just silence and random sniffling. It was impossible to rock him while they were lying down so Jack settled for running fingers through his hair and placing the occasional kiss on his head, waiting for the firm grip to ease a little; the signal that Daniel had had his fill of affection for the time being. That particular morning it was a long time coming.
XxXxXxXx
Jack wandered through the door that night with thoughts of a beer and an easy chair dancing in his head, not that he really had time for either one. It had been an exceptionally long day after a grueling night and he was exhausted. He'd spent the morning making phone calls; first to the President to officially accept the new assignment and then to Hammond to discuss his ideas for a successor to the CO position at the SGC. It hadn't come as any kind of shock to find that Hammond had already made a short list of candidates.
Then had come the briefing for Carter, Teal'c, and his right hand, Sergeant Harriman, to bring them up to speed on his new orders and the changes it would bring. For SG-1 it meant very little in the way of changes since he had resigned his position on the team when he'd taken command. For day to day operations it could mean big changes depending on how the new guy did things. Unfortunately, they would have to find that out the hard way when the guy showed up.
Daniel hadn't been invited to the briefing because he already knew all about it and Jack had seen no reason to force him to sit there and pretend none of it bothered him. He wasn't sure exactly how much Carter and Teal'c knew about their relationship. True to military form Jack had never volunteered the information and neither Carter nor Teal'c had ever asked. He and Daniel had always done their level best to leave the obvious signs of affection for the times when they were alone, saving everybody the discomfort of having to pretend they didn't see it. Still, he wasn't sure how convincing the act had been.
At the same time, he had no time or desire for a discussion about why Daniel hadn't been at the briefing. He was perfectly fine leaving the trio to answer the question themselves in whatever way they saw fit. He had much more pressing concerns. Thankfully the news had rattled them enough that no one had bothered to ask.
The rest of the day had been spent clearing out his in-box, taking care of little things he'd been neglecting, and getting the office ready for the change of command. He wasn't going to be on Base after that since packing would be his new full time job until he hopped on the transport for D.C.
Wandering further into the house Jack poked his head in the garage to get an idea of exactly how much garbage he had stashed in there; things that would need to be sorted through. He was incredibly surprised to find a large collection of boxes, a dozen rolls of bubble wrap, and a small pile of packing tape waiting patiently near the door. Apparently sometime during the day Daniel had escaped from the Base long enough to pick up a few supplies. Jack couldn't help, but smile. He was miserable. He hated everything about it, but he was still Daniel. Jack needed help. He would help.
Daniel would have been well within his rights to stage an all out protest of the new orders starting the moment Jack had brought it up, but he hadn't. He had done what he always seemed to do: put his personal feelings aside, weighed the pros and cons for everyone involved, and came up with a perfectly rational response. HWS needed him so Jack should go, despite the fact that him doing so would make Daniel profoundly miserable.
It had occurred to Jack no less than five dozen times over the course of the day that he hated what the situation was doing to them. Staring at the boxes it occurred to him one more time and he did what he had been doing all day: let out a heavy sigh and shoved his thoughts in a different direction.
XxXxXxXx
It was barely morning, but Daniel had already been up for at least an hour. He had spent the last three days engaged in a marathon packing operation to get Jack ready to go before he was expected to be in D.C. To their credit they had finished most of it. The movers were scheduled to show up later that day to handle the rest before loading all of it on a truck and starting the cross country drive. After that things would sit in storage until Jack found a new place to call home.
Since everything was packed up and dismantled Daniel had offered to let Jack spend his final night in town at his house and Jack had agreed after insisting that they move the queen sized guest room bed from his house to Daniel's to replace his small, double sized mattress. If they were going to spend one last night together before their relationship began its next phase he wanted them actually in the same bed, not split up with one of them on the couch. Daniel hadn't argued.
In all honesty he hadn't minded the exhaustion of sorting and packing Jack's life into a sizeable collection of boxes. It had given him something to focus on. At the same time it had also been a continual and vivid reminder of what was about to happen, not that there was anything that could have taken his mind off it even without the packing. At least it had given him a ready excuse to spend almost all of that time with Jack, most of which he'd spent shuffling around in a state of shock at the completely unforeseen turn their life had taken, practically numb with it.
In reality it wasn't exactly over between him and Jack, but it wasn't going to be even remotely what they had had for the past few years either. No more coming home to each other every night. No more down time together. No more working together. Phone calls and e-mail were a pitiful replacement for face to face conversations and did nothing to ease the loneliness of sleeping without each other every night. When they did manage to get together it would only be for a night or two here and there when they could; a joyful reunion tied at the hip to a crushing farewell.
Jack had promised they would see each other "all the time", but Daniel knew that wasn't true. They would have to plan it around Jack's work schedule and Daniel's off world missions and half the time whatever plans they had would probably have to be postponed. It was hard enough finding the time and energy to get the team together for a barbeque and that was just a twenty minute drive across town. Of course, in their case they had more incentive to actually make it happen.
Despite the promise that it wasn't really "good-bye" it was a thoroughly depressing concept, nonetheless. He and Jack weren't over…not really…but at the same time, they were. They could hold onto it if they wanted, but the lack of contact would eventually have them drifting apart. He couldn't help, but wonder how long it would be before one of them would decide it was time to give it up and move on. Just the thought of it brought tears to his eyes.
Maybe it would be better to make a clean break. After all, since Jack and their relationship together had been the main obstacle keeping him from taking a permanent position on Atlantis it meant he could finally apply. Atlantis would be a new start on a new planet in a new role. Still, at that point it wasn't any less depressing than staying where he was.
He didn't want this. He didn't want them to be over, but that was obviously the way it had to be. This job was too important for Jack to turn down. It was going to be yet one more sacrifice they made for the good of the Program. As important as he knew it was there was nothing anywhere in the scenario that offered any comfort for the fact that it was breaking his heart to let Jack go. Not even Atlantis. Part of him wanted to beg him to stay, to tell him to turn down the job and take retirement so they could be together because he didn't think he could handle this. Fortunately…or unfortunately, he honestly wasn't sure which…he had just enough determination to do the right thing that while inside he was screaming for Jack not to leave him behind, on the outside he was preparing to let him go. He would hate every minute of it, but he would do it because it had to be done. The same way Jack was going to get on the transport and leave him behind because it had to be done, despite the fact that he didn't want it either. They had that misery in common and were doing what they could to make it easier on each other.
Daniel was attempting to keep it together, hiding the worst of what he felt in order to keep from twisting the knife of guilt any further into Jack. He would be the first to admit he hadn't been the rock of fortitude recently, but he could only cover so much and in that particular case there was a world of hurt to gloss over. To his credit, he hadn't shown anything more than a rumor of tears in the past three days.
For Jack's part he had stepped up his physical affection, pouring out extra touches, hugs, kisses, and general physical contact knowing it would have to last Daniel a very long time. It also made it obvious that the break-up wasn't any easier on him than it was on Daniel.
In less than 12 hours Jack would be climbing on a transport heading off to D.C. and at that point Daniel would be free to finally come apart at the seams, giving up the exhausting façade he'd been struggling to keep in place. The thoughts in his head threatened to make that happen a whole lot sooner so he silently got up from the bed to seek out a quiet place to lose it without Jack seeing it.
XxXxXxXx
It was two hours before the transport left and Jack was pretty much ready to go. Well, he was packed and had his uniform tucked away in a garment bag, intending to change when he got to the base. He didn't want to say good-bye to Daniel in his General's outfit even if it was only a pair of standard issue fatigues. Being in uniform he needed to act like he was in uniform. He was saving the change of clothes as a final transformation to help him put on his game face for the flight. A General most definitely did not face the troops with tears running down his face.
Where everything else was concerned he wasn't even remotely ready. He had rolled over in bed early that morning to find Daniel sitting on the edge of the mattress apparently staring off into space. When he had eventually gotten up and started to head out into the hall Jack had stopped him. There would be plenty of instances in the future where Daniel would have to provide his own comfort for this particular ache in his heart. Jack had been determined that that morning wouldn't be one of them. No, Jack couldn't fix it, but he would do what he could.
He'd spun Daniel around, led him back to bed, and wrapped himself around him, holding him until long after the sun had come up. Just like now, he had been a great, big bundle of misery, but had yet to make even a half hearted attempt at asking Jack to stay. Not that he didn't want to. Jack knew damn well that he did, it was written all over him. "Please don't go" was leaking from every pore, but he held his tongue, chin tucked to his chest, arms folded around himself.
Jack's truck was being shipped along with everything else so he was waiting for a driver to show up and take him over to the base; one that was scheduled to arrive any minute. He didn't want a good-bye that required that they hide what they were feeling and he didn't want to have to worry about Daniel getting home in one piece so the notion of having Daniel drop him off at the base had been out of the question. Sending for a driver and hiding behind a pair of dark glasses was the easiest option.
"Come here." He said quietly, pulling Daniel back into his arms as they stood in the living room waiting for the inevitable knock at the door announcing that their time was up.
Just the thought of it made Jack cringe. Daniel pressed his forehead to Jack's shoulder, hiding his face in his shirt and letting go of himself long enough to wrap his arms around Jack, clinging to him tightly, bits of his shirt gripped in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Danny." He offered, feeling Daniel nod against his shoulder a second before the slightly muffled, rasping sobs he'd been expecting for days finally broke free.
Jack held him tighter, rocking him where they stood. "We'll find a way to make this work." Jack assured him, a hand on the back of his head, stray tears tracking down his own face. "We're not done, Daniel. Not by a long shot."
Another nod against his shoulder.
"We've been through worse than this, right?"
Another nod. Daniel was humoring him. He wasn't sure they had been through anything that threatened to end their relationship so effectively. He couldn't imagine Daniel honestly believed that.
"You're allowed to tell me I'm full of shit." Jack informed him.
A brief chuckle bubbled out with the last of the sobs.
"I'll call you." Jack promised him solemnly. "Every night. We'll get one of those web cams or something."
"Except when I'm off world." Daniel replied quietly, lifting his face far enough to rest his chin on Jack's shoulder. "Or you have a late meeting, or I'm working late."
"I'm the General. I don't have to do late meetings."
"Unless somebody with more stuff on their uniform says you do."
"Just go with it, ok? I'm trying to soften the mood."
A sniffle and another nod.
"I love you, Daniel. With all my heart." Jack said, much to his own surprise.
He'd never been that verbally blatant with anything in his life; well, anything other than anger induced tirades. Daniel seemed to agree, pulling himself far enough away to make eye contact.
"I love you, too." He replied in startled misery.
"A thousand miles or so isn't going to change that." Jack thumbed tears from his face.
Daniel went back to nodding and returned his chin to Jack's shoulder, squeezing him a little tighter. He was humoring him again, refusing to say what both of them knew…absence made the heart grow fonder until it finally managed to suck the life out of the bond. There were simply no guarantees they'd come through this still together.
The dreaded knock at the door stopped him from telling any more well intentioned lies. He held on for a moment longer before finally letting go, Daniel following suit, wrapping his arms back around himself and stepping aside just far enough to be out of the line of sight of the door. Jack wiped hurriedly at his face and opened the door as the second knock came.
"Here you go." He handed his bags to the driver. "I'll be right out."
"Take your time, Sir. Transport doesn't leave for 90 minutes."
Closing the door, he returned to Daniel, watching his face fold into a pained grimace as the tears started up again. A hand on each arm he pulled him close and placed a kiss on his forehead before finally capturing his lips.
Daniel had a way of kissing that could tell you anything you needed to know about the way he was feeling. As with everything else, there was an incredible amount of passion poured into the act when he put his mind to it. In that moment Jack didn't need to hear the words to know that Daniel adored him. It was in every movement of his lips, his tongue, his hands on Jack's face. Despite the misery they were both feeling and the combined tears, Jack found his heart suddenly racing.
"My sweet Daniel." He murmured.
"Colonel Jack." Daniel replied in a voice so quiet that even standing a fraction of an inch from him Jack had to strain to hear it.
"I'll see you soon." He promised, Daniel's face held in his hands, working hard to maintain eye contact. "And I will find a way to make this up to you."
Daniel nodded back at him. Jack kissed his forehead one last time and then let him go. Wiping tears from his own eyes he slid his sunglasses in place, set his jaw, and yanking the front door open before striding out into the midday sun, determined to get in the car before he lost his nerve completely. He knew what was going on behind the closed door, could almost hear the sound, and hated the fact that it had been his doing; that Daniel was aching from head to toe and he was just going to walk away and leave him that way. Not risking a glance back at the house he climbed into the back seat and a moment later the car pulled away from the curb leaving the scene behind.
Leaving Daniel behind.
CONTINUED in When It Counts