Eh-hem.

I've resisted this long enough.

Here for you, fresh out of a nice head-cold and a long weekend, is
My Immortal by Tara "Tata" Gillespie (Everyone's favorite troll!?),
translated into English and a semi-decent plot-itude by yours truly.

I'm adding my own plot points where this one gets (stays?) weak.

And from a POV that isn't that of a mentally handicapped Mary Sue?

Onwards.

I'm gonna try and make this funny.

--

Wait! She wrote a sequel?

Oh, it's ON.

This is going to take a fair few chapters.

Hold tight, homes.

--

Chapter 1

Ever since Harry and he had broken up, Draco had been completely miserable.
He'd gotten that goddamn tattoo, which was much more compromising than any dark mark he'd ever seen, thinking they'd be together forever, and now that tousle-haired bastard was prancing around like he was completely over it. Like he'd never even been that into Draco in the first place! Potter had also picked up some bullshit new "I'm a vampire! I love eyeliner! People suck!" attitude that irritated his Draco to no end.

Draco had done that scene bullshit once, it was true, but now the whole goddamn school was into it just because the Chosen Douche had dumped his boyfriend and started this whole poseur charade. Effing Hagrid was running around claiming to be a Satanist! And Granger! Ooh, pardon, "B'loody Mary Smith!" Since when would any of these people be in to this kind of crap?! He just hoped "B'loody" and that weasel "Diabolo" would go do the nasty in a broom closet and get over all this emo crap. Then maybe they'd bring the golden boy back over to the light side, and Draco could mourn his loss and his identity in silence.

He had noticed, however, that Mr. I-Changed-My-Scar-Into-A-Pentagram-'Cause-I'm-That-Hard-Core had shown some interest in the new transfer student. Draco had never heard of anyone transferring in to Hogwarts before, to be honest, but this only intrigued him more. Having arrived at school decked out in her black leather and lace, he could tell that she wasn't just in it to be like Potter. In the interest of pissing Harry off, he decided to befriend her.

He walked outside, just then noting the strange weather. Snow and rain at the same time? The weasel twins must have been dicking around with weather spells again. He was shaking his head and pondering a possible counter spell when he noticed her walking across the lawn, dancing in the rather nasty slush, and took a moment to observe and categorize her appearance, just in case someone quizzed him on it later.

Her long, dark hair the color of coal waved out behind her, streaked with purple and tipped with red; an odd combination that Draco had never considered attractive until that very moment. Her eyes were ice blue and brought to mind the term "limpid tears". He shook his head and allowed his adjectives to flow freely. He'd consider making them plausible later. He thought she looked a bit like Amy Lee. He happily recalled the day he'd confiscated that muggle CD player and book of discs from a first year, glad now that he knew who Amy Lee was so that he could compare this vixen in front of him to her. She was very pale, although he supposed that was because she was a vampire. Even so, her teeth were beautifully straight and white and not at all pointy or gross.

Looking her over again, he drooled. He was so dazzled by her natural beauty that he had almost missed her clothing! She was wearing a black, lacy corset and a leather miniskirt, and her pink fishnets disappeared into large black combat boots. Her lipstick and eyeliner were black, but her eye shadow was red and made her crystalline eyes pop. She flicked off a couple of preppy second years, and his heart skipped a beat. Even in the process of annoying Harry, this girl would be fun.

He decided to start that very moment. "Hey, Ebony!" he called.

She turned, and those piercing eyes focused in on his. He swooned a bit, then shook himself mentally. "What's up, Draco?" She asked.

He managed to croak out a classic, "Nothing," before her friends ('made so quickly!' he marveled) called her and she slunk over to meet them.

--

Chapter 2

Draco woke up the next morning early, pulling on his uniform and wondering how Ebony got away with those delightful outfits every day when everyone else was in their boring gray and black. Shrugging, he looked out the window. Snow and rain again. Weird shit.

He headed down to the great hall, but stopped when he heard his name. He hid behind a pillar and listened to the voices.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" came one excited voice. Draco was confused at the girl's strange use of letters, but listened on.

"Yeah? So?" came a second, which Draco swiftly identified as Ebony's. Something in that sultry tone sent shivers down his spine.

"Do you like Draco?" demanded the first voice. Draco was rather off-put by her terrifying bluntness, but stayed hidden, curious.

"No! I so fucking don't!" shouted Ebony, although both Draco and her friend could tell she was lying.

"Yeah right!" snorted the friend. Draco took this moment to reveal himself. He slipped out from behind the pillar and walked over to Ebony.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied, batting her eyelashes and purring a little..

"Guess what?" he queried, having quickly come up with a plan to seduce the black leather pants right off of that gothic vixen and put the jealousy right back onto Harry. He had finally gotten the read on her, and, although she was quite less the hard-core punk he thought she was, she was still a nice piece of ass, even if it was wrapped in hot topic. He was way beyond just irritating Harry, now. He wanted her.

"What?" she asked, all seduction lost in her childlike excitement.

"Well, Good Charlotte is having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told her. He didn't mention that he was planning on having a few house elves abduct them and bring them there, and obliviating them himself afterwards. Muggles wouldn't find it normal to be invited to play in a town they'd never heard of, and they certainly wouldn't be able to handle the magic.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" she screamed. "I love GC! They're my favorite band, besides MCR!" she turned to her friend, who was equally excited, and they squealed and jumped up and down for a good few minutes.

"Well… do you want to go with me?" he asked, determination wavering.

Ebony gasped, her eyes glazing over. Draco waited, taking this time to admire her outfit du jour, which must have been put together explicitly so that a person could have an inner dialogue about it. She wore a tight black leather dress over black fishnets and her combat boots. A pentagram dangled temptingly above her cleavage, and four pairs of earrings were resting delicately on the flesh of her ears like black drops of morning dew. Her hair was in a messy bun, and a small bead of blood clung to her lips.

Her friend seemed to have escaped the uniform as well. He looked her over, still waiting for Ebony's answer. Her name was Willow, he remembered, although he couldn't honestly say he'd ever seen her before. She, too, had black hair, this time streaked with pink. She had forest green eyes, offset by the black lipstick and eyeliner she and Ebony shared. She wore a Marilyn Manson tee and a black mini-skirt, along with fishnets and pointy, high-heeled hooker boots. Draco wondered if they shared a closet, or if they both just had no individual style.

Tired of standing next to the two catatonic clones, Draco tapped the side of Ebony's head, leaning into her ear. "Ill pick you up tomorrow, okay?" he yelled into her ear. Shaking his head, he walked off to class. He hoped she was worth it.

--

Chapter 3

Thanking god it was a Saturday, Draco spent the morning before the concert digging up some crap to wear to this thing. By the time the elves arrived with Good Charlotte (and, as it happened, Simple Plan, as they hadn't been able to tell the two apart), he had dug up an old black Mercedes with custom plates that his father had bought back when he was young and rebellious, and he had broken in to Harry's room (not so hard when you used to date, as Harry himself had shown Draco all the secret ins and outs of the Gryffindor common room) and stolen some of his clothes.

As Draco smoothed black nail polish onto his nails, keeping away from the edges so he could remove it better later, he wished he could go back to the way things were. If only Harry hadn't gone so completely batshit crazy, the entire school wouldn't be wearing eyeliner and trudging off through the forest to go see muggle bands they would have never cared about before (Ebony and Willow had eventually woken up and started singing the news from every nearby mountain peak). He sighed and smudged on some eyeliner, at least grateful for knowing how to do this so he could pull it off. He popped in some red color contacts for shits and giggles, and then headed off.

He picked up Ebony, who looked like a goddess (Although, if Malfoy were to be honest, it was a bit overdone). She wore a black leather mini dress with corset lacing all over it, clumsily torn fishnets pulled over her legs and arms. She wore long, high-heeled boots with laces, and she was bleeding from one wrist. All this, along with about eight tons of black eyeliner and even more black lipstick, she was the epitome of emo.

"Hi Draco!" She said, trying to sound depressed but clearly still excited.

"Hi, Ebony," he replied. He shuffled her into the car, put on some loud music in case she tried to talk, and popped out a cigarette. She asked for a puff, and he handed her the whole thing, wearily opting for a little something stronger. He just didn't know what was wrong with him! He should have been able to jump on any piece of delicious date meat, but this girl repulsed him!

When they arrived, he hoped she could get lost in the music and become a bit more attractive so he could do this properly. Pulling her to the front of the mosh, they jumped and sang along as Good Charlotte screamed their hearts out on the stage above them.

"Joel is so fucking hot!" yelled Ebony into his ear, jabbing her finger at the man on stage.

Draco thought he would cry. This girl was dumber than a bag of hair.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and then realization spread across her face. "Hey, it's ok. I don't like him better than you!" she soothed, still yelling over the music.

"Really?" he asked, trying not to be snide.

"Really," she promised. "Besides, I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch," she spat, with surprising anger for someone with the mental capacity of a teaspoon.

The concert finished and they headed backstage, getting autographs and concert tees while Draco sneakily obliviated the bands and sent them on their merry way. Draco downed a few beers in preparation for what was to come, and then dragged Ebony back to the car. It took her a good long time to realize that they weren't headed back to hogwarts, but to a remote clearing in the middle of the forest.

--

Chapter 4

(A/N: Uggh. I can feel my brain rotting, and we haven't even breached 2,000 words! God dammit, Tara!)

(A/N 2: Oh shi-- It's the "love" scene!)

"DRACO!" bellowed Ebony, icy limpid-pool-of-tear eyes crackling with rage. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't dare answer, lest he pansy out, deciding it was better that he stop the car. He landed well, and took the keys out of the ignition as he slid out the door. Ebony followed, curious.

"What the fucking hell?" she demanded again.

"Ebony?" he asked, trying to calm her back into a state that was a bit more attractive. He needed her body, and by god he wasn't going to let her wreck this!

"What?" she snapped.

Draco leaned forward, looking into her eyes and trying to soothe her like Professor Grubbly Plank had always said to do with dangerous, stupid animals. It seemed to work, and her breathing returned to normal (incidentally, this was not as pleasant as Draco would have hoped, for she was now breathing right onto his nose, and she smelled of beer, bong-water, blood, and Doritos.) Draco breathed in. It was now or never. He threw himself forward with a great force of will and kissed her, effectively shutting her unattractive mouth and allowing her prodigious chest to rub up against his body. Blocking everything out but her little pants of pleasure, he pressed her against a tree and wrapped one leg around her, rubbing against her in hopes of getting some friction going.

As his hormones took over, he managed to pry her upper torso out of the corset as she removed his clothing. Sliding one hand around her back, she unhooked her bra and let it fall to the ground. He slid a hand up her dress and discovered that she wasn't wearing panties. Convenient? He steeled himself and guided his member into her, wrapping her legs around him. 'She certainly isn't shy, is she?' he asked himself as she rode up and down on top of him, screaming "Oh! Oh! Oh!" at the top of her lungs.

He moaned, as the motion did it's work and he felt his climax approaching. His lips trailed all over her body, her pale skin flushing under the moonlight. They were just reaching their peak when a booming voice interrupted them.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS?"

It was… Dumbledore?

God, where'd he get that foul mouth?

--

Chapter 5

The fuming Dumbledore dragged Draco and Ebony through the halls, up the spiral stairs to his office, where McGonagall and Snape were waiting.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted. "There are many things we do not allow at this school, but this is one that I just can not tolerate!"

Ebony started to cry blood, her crimson tears leaving dark eyeliner smudges down her face and plopping onto her still-uncovered chest. Draco drew her into his arms, covering her naked body with his. (And vice versa, as all of his clothes had been abandoned in the forest. This was the one that really mattered to him. He had no real desire to let his teachers see his willy.)

"What have they done, Professor?" asked Snape, oily voice coursing through the room.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" bellowed Dumbledore, gesturing wildly at the naked bodies in front of him.

"Why would you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall, who was still a bit drowsy and wasn't putting her sentences together quite as well as usual.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" shrieked Draco, surprising everyone in the room except for Ebony, who looked quite smug. He didn't even know himself how these feelings had arisen, especially since he found her quite the poser, but it was true all the same.

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore was still simmering with anger, and McGonagall was still sleepily disappointed, but it was professor Snape who spoke. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and Ebony headed down the spiral staircase while the teachers glared.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked gently, holding the door for her as they entered the Slytherin common room.

"I guess so," she replied, heading up the stairs to the girl's dorm. He followed and waited as she brushed her teeth and changed. He was singing a Good Charlotte song (Damn thing was stuck in his head), when she exited the bathroom wearing a low-cut, floor length dress, black with red lace. She was also wearing black high-heels, which were highly impractical, but he found it kinda cute. She was surprised to see him there, but he could tell by the blush that stained her cheeks that she was flattered. They shared a hug (awkward when one still hasn't retrieved their clothing from the forest) and a chaste(ish) kiss before he headed off to the boys dorm.

--

Done!

For this section.

It gets more confusing as it goes on, but I couldn't bring myself to do more than this per chapter. Anyway, in the next installment you all get to meet Harry "Vampire" Potter!

Yay?