We a guest speaker come in and speak to our health class today, she was here to talk to us about relationships and it was made all the more awkward because this was one of the only classes I had this semester with Alek. She went on and on and on about abusive relationships and there different forms and what an unhealthy relationship was like and what a healthy one was.
It's funny how Alek and I fit so perfectly in that first category. According to this speaker, whatever her name is, One of the key signs of an abusive relationship is over protectiveness, then she went on and clarified how it was only if the over protectiveness was extreme, like he didn't trust you to be without him for long periods of time, or to hang out alone with your friends, and he doesn't trust you around guys especially ones he doesn't know very well. Then she said another sign of an abusive relationship is when you feel the need to dominate each other and when the relationship is as much about having power over the other as it is about loving the other. And she just kept talking and talking and talking the entire period and I'm sure she said some other stuff that fit our relationship perfectly too, but by that point I was lost in my own little world.
I wonder if it's different with me and Alek. Can we really count our relationship as unhealthy when we consider the circumstances. To any human on the outside it would seem obvious, he's over protective, he doesn't like it when I'm alone, and our relationship is very much about power, but we're mai It's different. He wasn't always this overprotective, well he's always been protective of me, but before it was his job and then something he had to do so he would be at ease knowing I was safe. And it wasn't until after Jasmine and Valentina were killed by Zane that he became so cautious of the people we don't know very well. And I'm pretty sure the major problem with them being scared of strangers is supposed to be that they don't trust you, not that they don't trust the strangers. But then there is that battle for power the battle for dominance. And that's another thing that wasn't really an issue before they died. Before they died I had never really been broken Alek had but not the same way that he was when Valentina and Jasmine died, they had been his family for longer than anyone else, and they had excepted him when no one else would, they were the only people he had allowed to have enough of a place in his heart that they could break it, and then when they died, they did. It's the same way with me too I guess except that my heart didn't completely shatter like his did when I found out they had killed Jasmine and Valentina, it wasn't even that shattered when I realised I had kissed Brian and that he was dead. It wasn't until I realised that the business dinner my mom had had to go to was a sham and it was really just the order trying to get her so they could kill her that my heart shattered the same way his did. And that's when I started being scared of people and letting people have the power to break my heart, and Alek had that same problem which is probably why power was so important to us, we are both scared to give the other the power to break our heart, because neither of us are sure if we'll be able to fix it if it ever breaks like that again. And that's the problem I can't blame on us being mai. Well I can and if we weren't mai we wouldn't have had that issue, but the real problem is that neither of us is fully healed and we probably never will be so I guess for right now are unhealthy relationship will just have to work out because if theres one thing I know, it's that even though I'm scared to give Alek the power to break me, I'm terrified that he already has it.
So I already have an idea for the next chapter I think I'm going to do the class from Alek's point of view … but I don't know if it will get posted today or tomorrow... reviews do make me update faster though so review and trust me when I say I won't get mad over constructive criticism I need it.