As he led her back to the Tardis, her father's death mere seconds ago, it occurred to him that he may have been to rough with her.
She was fantastic, his Rose, but she was still human.
Of course she would want to see her father.
He realised he should have taken her away, stopped her after she couldn't approach the dying man the first time.
He should have said no. But he couldn't. When she turned those eyes, those pleading, desperate eyes to him, he couldn't deny her anything.
He would give her the universe to bring the smile back to her face.
She motioned towards the hallway, silently indicating she was heading to her room.
He nodded, giving her a weak, but heartfelt smile.
She moved slowly, her shoulders slightly hunched with the weight of the day she'd just lived through.
Rose eased herself out of her clothes, steam already filling the bathroom and she stepped under the scalding water.
Her dad.
Her real, living dad.
Tears escaped slowly and dripped into the swirling water as it poured down the plug hole.
She was ashamed of herself- the Doctor had made her aware of the crucial weakness within her.
She was human.
Her stupid little ape brain, all it wanted was what the universe could give back to her. She wanted her dad, she wanted the life her little family could have had- the story she had created for him, the bedtime stories, the picnics on Saturdays. And she wasn't worthy, she wasn't worthy of the whole of time and space.
She wasn't good enough for the handsome, big eared leather jacketed man.
Sobs racked her body, and she lowered herself to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest, allowing herself the time to grieve. She may as well take the time now, because when he kicked her off the Tardis, she couldn't very well mourn her father- not when he'd been dead 20 years, not in front of her mother.
The Doctor stood outside his companions door, his hand raised to knock, as he used his superior biology, listening to her heart-wrenching cries, feeling his intrusion, though he hadn't even knocked yet. Her breathing was beginning to return to normal, her heart rate slowing, her whimpers calming.
He rested his forehead against the cool timber of the door, the TARDIS humming reassuringly, projecting an image of Rose, shorts and singlet, hugging a pillow to her as she curled on the bed.
His knuckles rapped gently, a soft, echoing hollow kind of sound.
'Rose?' he called gently 'May I come in?' '
Yeah' her voice was raspy, rough from her cries.
He gently pushed open her door.
He was always surprised by her, her beauty at all times. Even with puffy red eyes and a trembling lip, those gorgeous eyes staring at him, drawing him in. She pulled her pillow against her, almost embarrassed, covering herself.
'Oh Rose' he whispered 'I'm sorry' he pulled a chair behind him, planting himself in front of her. Slowly he cupped a hand to her cheek, rubbing his thumb gently. Her eyes welled with tears, but none fell. She smiled, weakly.
'Rose, I...' he started 'Rose. I'm sorry for saying those things today. I don't think you're a stupid ape. I'd never leave you... I... You're the most fantastic person I've ever met'
The next smile was warmer.
'So... you're not going to take me home?' she didn't meet his eyes this time, inspecting her nails on her pillow.
He removed his hand from her cheek. 'I will only take you home if you ask me to take you. I don't want you to leave' he raised her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze 'Rose, I never want you to leave'
'Never?' she echoed
He smiled in response, rubbing the tiny dimple in her chin with his thumb.
Oh, this was dangerous, he knew.
This attraction, the burning within him unlike anything he'd felt in all his years in this incarnation.
He wanted so badly to press his lips against hers, lay her back onto her bed and nuzzle his face into the crook of her neck.
He could see the artery in her neck, pulsing.
He wanted to taste the skin right there, the soft, pale skin, quivering with her heartbeat. He forced himself to look in her eyes again, those beautiful depths of hazely-brown.
'Doctor?' she twisted her head to the side 'Doctor, what's going on in your funny alien mind?'
He grinned, patted her knee gently 'Just planning our next grand adventure' he moved to get up, and she gripped his hand.
'I'm sorry for what I said too. I was so upset, I... I've never been so happy to hear you call my name'
Unbidden, the Tardis sent him an image of one of his dreams.
He was calling Rose's name repeatedly, hips bucking into her, lips crashing together haphazardly.
Rose gasped and pulled her hand from his.
He fixed his gaze on her, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.
Oh, the Tardis was crafty.
'Was that?' she asked shyly, looking down to hide from his gaze
'The Tardis feeding back my... erm... thoughts. With poor timing, mind you' He finished with a scowl at the roof.
'so... you've thought about... doing that... before? With, um, with me?' her cheeks flushed red, but he could smell the change in her hormones.
He hesitated, wanting to read her expression, wanting to see her real, true response. He waited until she looked at him, still hiding behind hair and flushing. 'Yes' his voice was husky, strained 'Yes, Rose Tyler. I've thought about being like that... with you'
'Oh my god' she whispered, hands trembling 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The Tardis should never... I should never... I'm sorry' awkwardly he tore away, retreating as fast as he could.
He had repulsed her.
Destroyed any chance he may have had.
He lashed out at one of the walls as he hurried towards the console room, reprimanding the Tardis, furious.
'Why then?' he demanded silently. 'Why that exact moment? I don't need your interference, I can do it myself!'
The Tardis hummed her disapproval at being hit, then fell silent. Sulking.
'Oh well that's just great!' he burst through the doors with more force than usual. 'Just what I need, a companion who hates me, and a sullen, sulking ship' his thoughts were more like growls.
He buried himself in the centre of the Tardis controls, focusing his energy, frustrations, and anger onto the task before him.