Author's Note: Since my daughter is not playing soccer with my stomach today I feel up to writing a couple oneshots today. I'm not sure how long they will be though.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the song The Truth by Jason Aldean.
Song Prompt: The Truth – Jason Aldean
Aaron saw the sadness in Emily's eyes and sighed. He knew that he had hurt hurt her when he ended things but he had to. He was afraid of losing her so he had figured if he ended things before he lost her that it would hurt him less. If only that thought had held true to him. His heart hurt every time he looked at the woman he has loved for what seems like forever.
His eyes caught hers and his heart broke even more when she turned her head away from him. He knew that he had been stupid but he wasn't sure what he could do to undo the damage that he had done. He hadn't thought once that when he ended their relationship that he would also lose her friendship. Now he knew just how stupid he had been not to think that. He should have known that by breaking things off with her and hurting her like he had that she wouldn't even want to keep their friendship.
He let a frustrated sigh slip through his lips as his eyes took in their fill of Emily. He loved her very much but he was still afraid of losing her. For the last two weeks his head and his heart have been battling one another. His heart wanted Emily but his head kept pointing out that he could lose her at anytime and he knew that if he lost her that he wouldn't survive because even though he had loved Haley the love he felt for Emily was ten million times stronger than what he ever felt for Haley.
He had thought that by breaking it off that if something happened to Emily that he would be able to handle it better. Now he knew that he had lied to himself. If anything happened to Emily even if he wasn't with her he would still feel it. He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched her stand up and walk out of the conference room.
He saw the tears in her eyes as she looked at him for a brief second and that was all it took. He couldn't do this to her any longer and he sure as hell couldn't do this to himself any longer. He stood up abruptly from his seat at the table and followed the path Emily had taken out of the conference room. He could feel everyone's shocked eyes on him but he didn't care. All that mattered to him was finding Emily and setting things right. He looked around the bullpen and didn't see her but as he walked past Dave's office he heard her sobbing and it stopped him in his tracks. His heart broke the rest of the way as he stood there listening to her sobbing out her pain.
He didn't even think about what he was doing as he walked into Dave's office. He shut the door and locked it and then made his way to Emily who was kneeling on the floor sobbing. He dropped down to his knees beside her and pulled her into his arms and let his own tears slide down his face. It broke his heart to know that the reason Emily was like this was because of him. He finally made the decision that it was time to tell the truth to the woman he loved.
"God Emily I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. I love you, I always have and I always will. I just thought that if I ended things that if something were to happen to you that I would be able to handle it better. I lied to myself and I lied to you and for that I hate myself. I know that I don't have any right to ask you but do you ever think that you could forgive me?" Aaron breathe out.
Emily lifted her head from where it was buried in Aaron's chest and looked into his eyes and saw all the pain that he was feeling too and she sighed. "God, Aaron you hurt me badly. When you ended things I felt as if you ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it. I haven't been able to eat or sleep these last few weeks. I got so use to having you near me and when you walked away I felt as if I was dying. You shattered my heart Aaron. I get that you was scared and that you still are but so am I. I have never loved anyone the way that I love you. I want you Aaron but I need for you to be sure that you won't walk away again. I can't handle losing you like that again. If we got back together and you ended up walking away from me again I don't think I could survive it a second time. I'm barely surviving it now."
Aaron looked into Emily's eyes as he spoke. "I will never willingly walk away from you again Emily. It hurt me so much but I was afraid that if I lose you due to our job that I wouldn't be able to live without you. I thought that by ending things I would be able to lessen the pain if anything ever happened to you. The thing is Emily I finally realized that even if something happened to you and we weren't together that it would still hurt me just as much if not more because I wouldn't have had the right to be by your side. The love I feel for you scares me Emily. I loved Haley but the love I feel for you is ten million times stronger than I ever felt for Haley. I can't lose you because if I do then I lose part of myself."
Emily gave Aaron a watery smile and brought his head down and pressed her lips to his in a tender but passionate kiss. "I love you Aaron. You're not going to lose me because I have too much to live for. You're my life Aaron and I need you by my side so that I can live. Without you with me or by my side I'm not living I'm merely existing. I want to be with you and I need to be with you. I want to try us again. However, next time you get scared try talking to me instead of walking out. As long as we talk about our fears we can overcome them together. I do love you so much Aaron."
Aaron smiled at Emily and said "I love you too Emily. I promise from now on when I get scared I'll come talk to you instead of running away."
Before Emily could say anything Aaron bent his head and captured her lips in a kiss that left nothing to the imagination on just how much he has missed her these last two week.
