Read the way bottom first if you want.
It's all I have
I can't last without it..its all that I have.
Its the only thing that loves me back.
When its in me, I'll be happy.
People say she's beautiful. One of the lucky ones. She didn't think so. She thought of herself as unlucky actually. She was lonely, with only a powder in a bag, and a bottle of Vodka for company. It let the pain go away, she thought. It let the fact that her dad abused her out of her mind. Or how her mother would spit on her and turned her big sister against her. They would hide her. They didn't want anybody to see her. They were ashamed of her. To them she was trash. She was nothing.
She had long black hair. Her eyes were a mesmerizing grey, which turned to a slightly greenish color when she is happy. She has a heart-shaped face, with a bunny nose and sharp cheek bones. She was skinny, for all you can see is bones. She didn't eat. Why should she eat? She questioned herself sometimes. Nobody wanted her. But she would pray and hope for someone out there to tell her that she's worth something. So far, there hasn't been any progress.
She wonders sometimes what it would be like if she was raised with different people. She dreams to leave those horrid people she is with right now. To find people that care for her and love her. She wants a guy to kiss her softly and hold her with care. Comfort her when she is sad. Make her happy when she is at her worst. To find someone to love.
Going to school makes her happy. Its not the learning that does it. Its the fact that she's away from her monsters. People notice her sometimes. Ask her if she needs help. She replies no and to just leave her alone. She knew she should say yes. She wanted too. But they would find her and make it even worse. So she just denied their requests. But the only class that makes her happy is Photography 101 and also art class. She loves the sound of the 'click' of the camera when it takes a snapshot. She's good. More than that actually. When she see's her photos she falls in love with them. She'll keep them hidden so nobody can see them. When she has time she paints things. The outside pine tress, maybe, or the far-away mountains. Then there's her mystery drawing. A drawing of a small house. A young women with bright red hair and a man that I can't describe because it would only show his shadow. They looked in love.
Her lunch was rather interesting sometimes. More or less. She would hide behind the school music building and smoke away a cigarette. Even drink a little bit of liquor. It was her meal. But sometimes she would eat real food. Or she would look at the deadly white stick and throw it away without using it. Sometimes she wouldn't even bring her dangerous friends.
Going back home was the worst part of the day. She had a deep fear in her gray eyes. She was never ready for the verbal and physical abuse. Her pace was slowing down as she turned the corner of her neighborhood. There in front of her was her hell-hole. It looked like any other house on the block. A pleasant pearl white with a porch and a few windows. The front yard was full of plants and grass. She walked up the steps of the porch and slowly opened the door.
"Hello." She said. Fear creeping up in her in gentle voice." Hello." She said again a little louder. A crash was heard in the living room. She backed away a few steps. Her name was called from the living room. She gulped and walked towards it. There stood her father, he was a short man with a brown hair and a beer belly. You woke me!, he yelled. He smacked her on her cheek. He grabbed her hair and dragged her more into the room. She yelled in pain. Telling him that she was sorry, that she didn't know. He stopped dragging her and punched and kicked wherever he could. She begged for mercy through her blood stained lips. She tried to dodge kicks or anything, but it just made it worse. She closed her eyes and let the tears stream out. She was waiting for it to stop. But she was kidding herself. He was just barley starting.
When she opened her eyes, her eyes were met with the dark hardwood floorboards. She tries to lift her head but the pain was back. She groaned in pain. Everything hurt, like it always did. She was trying to stand, to head for the bathroom. Finally, after a while she made it and somehow examined all her wounds and bandaged them. She cried silently even though the house was empty. How did she know this? They always leave after they are done with her for the day. One day, one day I'll leave and be happy, She whispered. She walked slowly towards her bed and knelled. She prayed. She prayed that things would get better and hoped they would.
This piece of writing that i wrote is dedicated to 1HSMWiLDCat.
She is the only person who commented almost all of my stories.
She is a true fan of my writing.
And even though she might not even see this,
it's the thought that counts. Right?
I don't really plan on making this a story, I just did this because I had an idea.
I really don't care if you like this chapter or not.
If you are going to comment, then I only want positive feedback.