AU (01/21/2017): So hey guys. After hours spent on reading a certain forum, I now come to the conclusion that this story is bad. Well, in the storytelling department at least, because a lot of these chapters are filler and serve no purpose to the plot. I never intended to have an actual plot. One of the consequences of turning a one shot into a chaptered story I guess. I'm not exactly sure what to do, but for now, think of this story like The Soggy Pretzel, by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus, where there isn't really that much plot and it's only a collection of one shots. If you don't care that much about the lack of plot, then that's great, keep reading!

Disclaimer: Pokémon is not owned by me, sadly.

It was a beautiful day in the Kalos Region. Fletchling were singing, flowers were blooming, and children were definitely not eternally suffering in the distortion world. Well, maybe a few, but that's not important.

In an unremarkable forest that shall not be named, one particular blue and black cervine pokémon scowled.

"Why did that family of zigzagoon have to die? They just had a reunion after years of separation and tough survival conditions!" Xerneas complained. "In fact, why did any of those Pokémon have to die?"

Yveltal sighed, roosting in the gigantic smouldering crater that was left over from his Daily Death Delivery. "Everything has to die eventually, brother*. We've discussed this a trillion times- literally. I can get Dialga for the specifics."

"But why now of all times?"

"They were just in the wrong place in the wrong time. Not my fault they couldn't avoid an oblivion wing," Yveltal said, rolling his eyes. Saying that this was getting old wouldn't be enough to convey the sheer annoyance that the destruction pokémon felt.

Xerneas huffed. This would usually be the moment when he would dash off in exasperation and resume his daily legendary duties. But instead, Xerneas paused mid-stride, noticing something.

Among the debris left over from Yveltal's beam of death, a small light blue figure struggled to move. "A survivor?" Xerneas wondered, more to himself.

A wynaut emerged from a pile of rubble, badly injured. Dazed, it blindly stumbled around.

"Oh, thank father*! At least someone survived. Here, let me heal you up, little guy." The life pokémon sent a heal pulse at the wynaut, removing every single scratch and wound on the bright pokémon's body. With its newly recovered state, it was if the wynaut had never experienced the shock of its life energy being drained by a beam of destruction sent by the god of death himself in its life.

"Thank you…" the wynaut said unremarkably. The two gods of mortality recognized the wynaut as female, judging from her voice and body.

The wynaut then stared at the god of death.

"Huh, you're pretty lucky to survive one of my Daily Death Deliveries, kid," Yveltal remarked.

"I found a focus sash," the wynaut said blandly. She used her prehensile tail to point at a tattered girdle that also miraculously survived the beam of destruction.

"You killed my family," the Bright Pokémon then said, voice still emotionless. Her face and tone were blank, but there was something in there that the two gods of mortality couldn't recognize.

"How observant of you."

There was a long moment of silence.

"...Thank you."

There was another long moment of silence as the two legendary pokémon processed that statement.

"Wait, what? You're thanking my brother for killing your loved ones?" Xerneas almost yelled, shocked.

"I admit that it's very surprising, too. It's not everyday that someone walks up to me, thanking me for murdering their family," Yveltal said, chuckling.

The wynaut muttered something that neither of the legendary pokémon heard, before saying, "I have a request. I want to become your emissary, Lord Yveltal."

Once again, another long moment of silence.

"So let me get this straight. The god of death kills your friends and family. You thank him for it, then you ask to become his representative?!" Xerneas summarized. "Why?!"

"Wynaut?" the wynaut countered.

"Oh, you're killing me with that pun!" the god of death said, laughing. "What makes it even more humorous is that you say it with so little emotion! You could become a comedian!"

"So you know what, I accept your request!" Yveltal continued. "Welcome to the Daily Death Delivery Industry! I'll have you meet your new co-workers later!"

The wynaut smiled, almost sadistically. "Almost" being that there was some other emotion within that cruel smile, but Yveltal didn't know which, and nor did he care.

"Wait, you actually started an industry for death? What pokémon have you recruited? Why would they agree to join?" Xerneas questioned, once again surprised. Today was filled with surprises, just like Christmas morning. Oh wait, that's not a good comparison; Christmas morning is filled with disappointment, not surprises.

"You'd be shocked at the amount of pokémon that are willing to murder hordes of people and pokémon everyday for food and money in return," Yveltal explained.

Xerneas was disgusted. "Well, today was… interesting. I'll be off!" With that, Xerneas dashed away, muttering something under his breath.

"So… ready for your first job as one of my emissaries?"

The wynaut nodded, licking her lips. Yveltal almost shuddered at the sadistic gleam in her eyes.

And that was the tale of how a wynaut became the god of death's emissary. From that day forth, wynaut were feared in all the Pokémon world, represented as the symbol of death. In fact, wynaut had become even more feared than Yveltal's gengar and decidueye. As Xerneas had said, it was… interesting.

Author's Note:

*Xerneas isn't actually Yveltal's brother. It's just that, in my eyes, most legendary and mythical pokémon that aren't Arceus consider each other as siblings, since they have the same father/creator and all.

Some exceptions are man-made pokémon like Mewtwo, Genesect, Magearna, and Volcanion. The legendary beasts (Entei, Raikou, and Suicune) consider Ho-oh as their father instead of Arceus. Regigigas is technically the father of the legendary titans (Regice, Regirock, and Registeel). Phione is the offspring of Manaphy. Deoxys is some kind of alien Pokémon, so its parents must be other Deoxys (or other alien Pokémon) from a distant planet.

Also, I know that the distortion world isn't actually the Pokémon world's version of hell. It's just fun for me to think of it that way. Giratina is probably torturing millions of souls in there.

So yeah, this was my first one shot written. I got the idea for this when I looked up Pokémon puns out of boredom and saw the sentence: "They asked me why I killed them. I said 'Wynaut'?" And then, boom. This idea appeared.

Hope you enjoyed, and have a great day!

-Schmacklar