A/N: I haven't written fanfiction in a very long time so I decided to try and start up again. As you can tell I picked Steroline. Yay! This last epsiode was a great episode for them and I definitely see more of them in the future. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
(All mistakes are mine)
It's been happening for days now.
A nightmare that never seemed to end but was the same every night. It was the same pain over and over again eating at her every time she woke up sweating. Nothing stopped it from happening and Caroline was beginning to wonder what it meant.
He was lying there dead. A far away gaze in his eyes but every time she looked down at his lifeless body, in those beautiful green eyes was a small hint of betrayal. Those eyes looked at her accusingly, like she could have done something better, she could have stopped his death, but she didn't. It was a stake to her heart everytime she looked at those betrayed green eyes.
They had the same eyes though, of course it was because of the fact they were doppelgangers, but it was Tom's body and Stefan's eyes. His eyes were the ones that looked at her with betrayal, his eyes that saw Caroline for the last time, his eyes that were burned into Caroline's memory till the last of him was gone. She failed him. It was her fault Stefan was dead, she couldn't save him.
She had that nightmare everynight and everytime was worse than the last. Reliving her best friends death over and over again, a person who was so very important to her, hurt like nothing she could ever compare too.
Caroline tossed and turned feeling constricted. She was shaking and whimpering, the nightmare was beginning and she had no control to stop it. All she could see was hints of his smile, those beautiful eyes looking back at her, him being happy to see her, and then Enzo's hands plunging a stake into his heart. This was like the dreams of Tom being the one dying, but this time it was Stefan.
She was kicking now and could feel a scream rise in her throat. Caroline called his name, pleading for him to wake up and say it was a dumb joke, like what he did at the Traveler's camp pretending to lose his memory. He never responded though and she watched blood drain from his body and skin go gray.
Hands were wrapped around her wrist. Someone was pulling her away from him but Caroline was not going to let that happen. She tried to pull away, fought against whoever was holding her back but they were stronger. A cry escaped from her lips but the reply was the sound of her name.
"Caroline!"
It sounded so real. It sounded like him.
"Caroline, wake up! You're dreaming!"
She wished it was a dream.
"Caroline."
She was being shaken, hands were now gripped on her shoulders. Her eyes opened slightly and there was light. Was she asleep?
Caroline opened her eyes and saw green eyes staring back at her. It wasn't betrayal this time, it was concern.
"Stefan?"
"Are you okay Caroline? You looked like you were having a pretty bad dream," he said.
A dream. It was the nightmare again, except this time it was Stefan and not Tom, and this time she could breathe a sigh of relief because her best friend wasn't dead.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh my god."
Stefan's eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong?"
Caroline sat up and realized she had been lying on Stefan's lap. She stood up from the couch and began to pace the living room.
"Oh my god, it wasn't real, it wasn't real," she repeated. Having a nightmare of Stefan dying and then waking up in his arms was a relief but she never felt more terrified.
Stefan moved from the couch and walked over to her but Caroline stepped away from him. "No wait, just like me get myself together."
He raised his hands in surrender and took a step back setting himself back on the couch. Caroline turned away from him and felt the tears spill over. She didn't want him to see her cry, to see how it could affect her had his death been real. Caroline walked over to the fireplace and went into a crouch hoping the fire would melt away the cold in her heart. The cold that would be with her if Stefan ever did die.
Vampires they may be, harder to kill they are, but death wasn't impossible. The wrong move could be all it takes and pissing off the wrong person was another factor. The constant danger they lived in and constant deaths they witnessed was what gave them the reality that they weren't as invincible as they think. That's why Caroline knows it's possible to lose Stefan.
She wiped away her tears.
It was quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the popping of the fire and the few sniffs Caroline would let out.
"Are you going to say anything?" he asked.
Caroline didn't answer, because she didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell him but she also wanted it to be her burden.
"Caroline, come on, tell me. I know something is upsetting you."
More tears escaped but she would let him know.
She could hear him get off the couch and walk over to her. He went into a crouch next to her and placed his hand on her chin. Caroline moved her head away but he was persistant and forced her to look at him.
A lone tear escaped.
"Tell me," was all he said.
Caroline looked down. She wanted it to be her burden but oh how much she wanted to tell him.
"I've been having nightmares," she started.
Stefan nodded and started running his finger through her hair.
"And they've been about Tom."
He tensed for a second but went back to playing with hair.
"Specifically him dying, but when I go to look at him it's your eyes that look back at me," Caroline told him. Stefan said nothing but she knew he was listening.
"And in your eyes I see betrayal and it kills me that I couldn't stop it. That I failed you and let you die," she said her voice beginning to crack.
"But it wasn't me Caroline."
"I know Stefan, but the nightmare I just woke up from, it was you, not Tom. I didn't stop Enzo," Caroline told him. More tears escaped.
Stefan pulled Caroline towards him and she was now enveloped in his arms. She cried silently into his shoulder and held onto him tight, hoping that she would never lose him. He hand one arm around her waist and the other was trailing down her hair, his hand was gentle.
"It's okay Caroline. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into her ear.
She held him tighter.
It was like that for a moment, the two of them holding onto each other but Stefan doing more of the comforting. When he had finally pulled away they sat next to each, shoulder to shoulder, and watched the fire.
"Can I tell you something?" he suddenly asks.
Caroline looks at him and nods. "Of course."
He placed his hand over hers, just like he did the day they had the funeral for Bonnie, Caroline wondered if he remembered that.
"I know that you would never betray me. I know that when my life is on the line you will do just about anything to save me," he said.
Caroline was going to protest, to remind him that she couldn't kill Tom but he held his hand up.
"I know you didn't kill him, and I told you I knew you wouldn't because you're a good person. That never made me doubt you, no matter what anyone says you did the right thing Caroline."
"It doesn't feel like the right thing."
He lifted her hand and held it in both of his. "I'm not done."
She nodded.
"Just because you couldn't kill him to save me doesn't make you a bad friend, I'm glad you didn't. When it comes to any other time though, I know you will be there, I know you will do everything in your power and more to keep me safe, I know I am important to you. I know all of this because I would do anything to save your life because you are just as important to me," he said.
Caroline looked up at him.
"You're having nightmares and that is all they are Caroline. You would do anything for me and I would do anything for you. I can tell that just because you couldn't kill Tom you believe that you shouldn't be trusted in saving my life, and that Caroline Forbes is untrue."
She could feel a lump in her throat. He knew just how much she cared about him.
"I know what your are capable of and I have faith in everything that you do. You're strong and you're caring and that's why I trust you. I know who you are," Stefan told her.
Caroline could feel a small smile cross her lips just as the last of the tears fell. A small chuckle also escaping.
"I give you a heartfelt speech and you laugh," Stefan said with a smile of his own growing.
She shook her head. "No it's not that it's just..."
Caroline looked up at him and found his eyes already looking back. "You always know what to say."
His smile broadned and he kissed her hand before letting it go. Caroline didn't know how to feel when a small electric current went through her body after he kissed her hand.
"I'm glad you feel better though," he said.
Caroline just continued to smile. "Well now that I know you believe in me to save your life the weight is off my shoulders. You were right, after Tom I did feel like I shouldn't be trusted to save you."
"You have my trust. I know I'd be safe in your hands."
"And I trust you. I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you Stefan."
The mood changed again and Caroline felt the need to give her heartfelt speech.
"I've said it before, about you saving my vampire life, and it's true. You did save me and you helped me realize who I was all along. But what you also did was make me want to be a good person. I never had someone to look up to or go to when I needed it and I never met someone as good as you, I've never met anyone like you at all. That's why I would fight so hard to save your life Stefan, you're a good person who does good things. More importantly, you're my best friend and I always protect my friends."
Stefan didn't say anything right away. He looked surprised and then there was an expression Caroline couldn't read. Finally though he looked at her.
"You're my best friend too."
Caroline beamed and went to throw her arms around him except she used too much force and Stefan was unprepared. They fell to the floor but that didn't stop her from hugging him or stop him from laughing and hugging her back.
When she went to lift herself up though something keeping her in place. Caroline saw that Stefan had his hands wrapped around each arm, he was keeping her from moving.
She looked down at him wondering what it was he was trying to do but she saw nothing on his face except this intense gaze he was giving her. There was space between them but it could be changed very easily and their hips were matched up against each others. Caroline couldn't decided if she felt awkward or not.
Stefan brought her down closer to him and she didn't know what to do. His face was getting closer to hers and she couldn't stop watching his lips. He opened his mouth, their breath mixed together, and she was starting to lose focus. Instincts told her to let him take over but she fought to keep herself in check.
"Friends right?" she whispered.
He pulled her close again. "Yea, friends."
If Caroline's heart could beat it would be going a mile a minute. She was tempted to kiss him and to let him kiss her but she couldn't. Stefan and her never crossed that line and she didn't know what was so different now. Friends always gave heartfelt conversations to each other.
His mouth though was so inviting. Caroline wanted to feel how soft those lips were and to feel his hair inbetween her fingers. The closer she got the more she began to lose control.
So just as she was about to completely lose it and step across that line with Stefan, she gained it back. Her and Stefan's lips were about to meet when at the last second she turned her head and he caught her cheek. Caroline was right, his lips were soft.
She took his surprise for granted and pushed herself off of him. Back into a sitting position and back to watching the fire, Stefan though laid on his back a second longer and then sat up.
They watched the fire again in silence.
"I didn't know that coming over here to study and falling asleep with my head in your lap would lead us here," she said. Caroline didn't know if she meant that as a joke or it was accusatory.
Stefan said nothing.
Another moment passed before Caroline spoke again. "I have to go Stefan."
He nodded. Both of them stood up and Caroline gathered her things with Stefan watching her. She told him she would talk to him tomorrow and he smiled and nodded. Caroline saw the effort he had to put into the smile though. She knew too that they were both going to act like this never happened.
Stefan walked her to the door and they waved goodbye. Once he shut the door behind her she threw her head back and sighed. Caroline knew that she and Stefan were going to cross that line sooner than she expected.