It was such a normal day, the day that our lives changed forever.
Looking back, I admit the warning signs had been there for some time. Yuuri and I had been training every day, getting ready for the next season to start. Yuuri had moved back home to Russia with me, and was living in my apartment. Everything had been going exactly as I could have wished. We were growing every day, as skaters, as lovers, as people. I had never been happier in my life. But, as I said, there were warning signs that something was off. It started with the headaches. Yuuri started getting headaches even before he moved to Russia. I had told him on more than one occasion that maybe he should see a doctor for some relief, but Yuuri shrugged it off and said that it was just caused by stress or by his change of living. He stopped complaining about his head at all, though I could tell it still bothered him. I found him one night vomiting in the bathroom, drenched in sweat. I made him take the next day off and he had seemed to feel better after that.
Things started to go off in practice as well. He started to have trouble landing his jumps. Knowing how he had been in the past, I assumed that he must have had something troubling him that he wasn't telling me. Yuuri swore that he didn't but I didn't believe him. He had come so far and had been doing so well. I could only assume that his regression had something to do with his mental health, and I pressured him to talk to me about it. But he kept saying that he was happy. It led to several arguments between us.
Now, I feel horrible for the way I had treated him. Because now it all makes perfect sense, and he had been telling the truth all along.
We were at the ice rink with Yurio. The three of us had been working hard together, pushing each other to do better. Yurio was magnificent. I was beginning to believe that he would become more of a skater than even I could ever be. The way he moved was beautiful.
"Victor," Yuuri said to me, gliding over on his skates. "I think I'm going to call it a day. Is it okay if I just watch you two for now?"
"Tired already?" Yurio smirked, gliding by.
Yuuri did look tired and rather pale. He hadn't done much that day, and he hadn't landed his jumps in a couple weeks. Perhaps I was pushing him too much. But I felt like he was regressing, and I didn't like it.
"Are you sure?" I asked him, trying to read his face. "I haven't seen much improvement from you the past few days."
Yuuri looked at his feet. "I know. I-I'm trying, I promise. I think I just need…." He didn't finish his sentence, but shrugged. I put my hand on the small of his back and pulled him into me. A little flush came to his cheeks.
"What is that you need?" I murmured, grinning at him. He smiled weakly at me but said nothing. I felt a pit of worry in my stomach.
"Are you getting sick?" I asked him, putting my hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. He shook his head.
"I don't know, maybe. I just feel kind of off."
I nodded. "Alright. You can head home if you need to, or you can stay and watch. Up to you. I'll make you some of my special tea tonight, and I'm sure you'll feel better in no time."
I kissed his forehead. We lingered like that for a moment, until Yurio yelled at us to get a room. We broke apart and Yuuri skated away. I turned back to Yurio. "Alright, enough distractions. I want to see you go through the routine again from the start. I still want to see you-"
Yurio looked past me and his face went from his usual impassive scowl to a look of concern. "Yuuri?" he called out. I turned just in time to see Yuuri crash down on to the ice. My heart dropped and I rushed over to him. His body was convulsing on the ice. Was he having a seizure? I felt panic start to rise in me but I fought it down.
"Yurio, call an ambulance!" I yelled over my shoulder to Yurio, who was standing frozen, looking scared. He seemed to snap out of it at my voice and took off to get a phone.
"Yuuri," I said, putting my hand on his face and his body continued to tremble. "Yuuri can you hear me?" I tried to remember what you were supposed to do in this situation. I know I had learned at some point. I gently turned Yuuri onto his side, remembering at least that much. I continued to speak soothingly to him. Thought it seemed to last an eternity, eventually his muscles relaxed. I continued to sooth him, one hand rubbing his back and the other squeezing his hand. The ice was cold, so I didn't want to leave him there. Gentle as I could be, I scooped him up bridal style and careful glided him off the ice. Yurio was there, on the phone, looking scared. It made him look years younger.
There was no good place to put Yuuri, so I took him into the locker room where it was at least warmer, Yurio trailing behind us. I placed Yuuri softly on a bench. Moving quickly, I dug my coat of the locker and threw it over him.
"Vi-Victor," he said weakly, his eyes barely opening to look at me.
"Shhh, it's okay," I said, grabbing his hand and kissing it. "I'm right here, and help is on the way. It's going to be okay."
He weakly squeezed my hand back. He closed his eyes again. I could feel my adrenaline leaving me as I started to shake. I was suddenly more afraid that I ever had been. Somehow I had shut my emotions off to try and focus on Yuuri while the seizure was happening. I could feel tears coming to my eyes, something quite foreign to me. Calm down, I told myself. Falling apart isn't going to help anything. Yuuri needs you to be strong for him.
The ambulance arrived. They let me come along, and Yurio was stuck behind, still with that same look of fear on his face. I made sure to thank him as we left, in which he responded that he would be right behind us. The paramedics asked me questions: how long did the seizure last? Does he have prior history? Did he injure himself at all? I just replied to the best of my knowledge, watching him sleep. The ride to the hospital was short, and then they took him away from me. I tried to tell him that everything would be okay, but I don't think he heard me. I stood there and watched him until he disappeared into a room.
The doctor came to see me in the waiting room. Yurio had arrived a few minutes after I sat in the waiting room, looking like he had run the whole way there. Which was a possibility, but I didn't ask him. I had called Yuuri's family back in Japan to let them know what was happening. They helped me answer questions on his medical background and urged me to let them know as soon as I knew anything.
The doctor knew who I was and came up to me without asking my name. "Hello, Mr. Nikiforov. You are here with Mr. Katsuki, correct?"
"Yes, how is he?" I asked hurriedly, standing up.
"He is stable and resting. It does not seem that he sustained any injuries from his fall, aside from some minor bruising. We are taking him down to get an MRI scan done right now, to check and see if anything unusual comes up. It's possible this is an isolated incident, but at the very least I want to keep him over night to make sure another seizure doesn't occur. After the scan is complete we will move him to a room and you will be able to see him."
"When will we know what the scan says?" I asked.
"It won't take long. Our team will assess it and see if there is anything of interest, and then we will go over the results with you once we know what happened."
"Thank you," I answered, feeling suddenly tired. The stress of the past few hours was catching up with me. I sat back down next to Yurio and sighed. Yurio looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He wasn't the best at comforting others, and neither was I.
"I'm going to get a drink, do you want something?" he finally said, breaking the silence.
"Coffee," I answered. He nodded and got up without another word. I called Yuuri's mother and let her know what the doctor had said. I assured her they need not fly out at the moment and that everything was okay.
Yurio came back with my coffee and I drank it graciously. I was starting to feel guilty for pushing Yuuri today. I wondered if my training had caused this, but quickly shoved the thought aside, knowing better. I started to remember the headaches, the trouble with landing his jumps, and the nausea Yuuri had been experiencing and started to get nervous. I should have pushed him to get medical help sooner. Why had I believed it was just him being emotional? He had told me he was fine and happy and I didn't believe him.
"Mr. Nikiforov?" A nurse, looking nervous, approached me. "I can take you to see Yuuri now."
I jumped up and looked back at Yurio. "Go ahead," he told me. "I'll let everyone know what's going on. I'll come back later when he's feeling better."
I smiled at Yurio, which made him scowl at me, which was oddly comforting. "Thank you again, Yurio," I said, and followed the nurse.
Yuuri was awake when I reached the room. He was still pale and looked tired but managed to smile when he saw me. I walked straight into the room and pulled him into an embrace, holding him tightly. I heard the nurse say the doctors would be in to talk to us shortly, but I ignored her. I breathed in the smell of his hair, realizing how much I had needed to hold him like this. I put my forehead against his.
"Don't scare me like that again," I told him. He smiled.
"I'll try not to."
I let him lean back into his pillows and sat down on the bed, grabbing his hand and rubbing is softly. There was an IV taped to the top of it.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him, looking into his eyes.
"Tired," he said. "I don't really remember much of what happened. I was on ice with you and Yurio, and then I was here. The doctors said I had a seizure."
I nodded. "I called your parents and have been keeping them updated. They are worried about you and send their love."
Yuuri sighed. "I'll call my mother later, she won't feel better until I talk to her myself."
Just then, the doctors came in. They introduced themselves to us and explained who they were and what they did. I did not have much medical knowledge and it didn't mean much to me. All I needed to hear was the Yuuri was okay.
"We reviewed the MRI and had several of my staff look at it," the doctor explained. "We found something intriguing in the scan. I can show you here so you can see."
They put up some x-ray like film that showed images of Yuuri's brain. Even before the doctors pointed it out, I could see what they were going to show us.
"This here is what seems to be a tumor, located in the frontal lobe," the doctor said, circling the spot. "It's quite a good size at the time, which can explain many of the symptoms that you have been experiencing. It could have been growing for months."
I could heart my heart beat racing in my ears. I looked back down at Yuuri, his face looking rather blank and confused.
It was the day our lives changed forever.