Rifles crackled and bombs exploded in the heart of Uganda, this was the final show down between the Tiger Mafia and the Gallant Ugandan Commandos. The Commandos were led by the Magnanimous Harambe, Harambe came from humble beginnings. He was born to a Harmabe the Elder a Ugandan warlord, in a time of great trouble his father would fight against the Tiger Mafia ultimately to be slain by the fearsome Mr. Megunto the leader of the Tiger Mafia. Harambe had sworn to avenge his father and joined the Ugandan Commandos. Harambe rode atop his war wagon, a Toyota Truck with a 105mm Recoilless Rifle mounted in the bed of the truck.
"Forward man! We must destroy the Tiger Mafia man!" Harambe yelled to his second in command Colonel Paul.
"Aye sir, well send them to hell man!" Paul replied as he put the truck in gear and charged the Tiger Mafia lines. Dazed at the awesome sight of Harambe and Paul in the War Wagon the Tiger Mafia all they could do was watch. With a thunderous crack, Harambe fired his 105 sending a canister shell down range at the stunned mafia. Hundreds of irons darts tore the Mafia members apart, many lay wounded or dead. The radio crackled to life.
"Commandant Harambe, tis a great victory this day man! The Tiger Mafia has scattered and their leader has been captured man!" Said one of Harambes Commando's.
"Finally Father! I have completed your divine mission man." Harambe said to himself. Harambe is a good man and Harambe is humble. He knows when to show mercy. "To all Commandos stop shoo…" Harambe was interrupted by when a panicked voice sounded over the radio.
"Commandant! An unknown force is attacking! THE MAN IS KILLING US MAN!" The voice yelled before turning to static.
"To all commandos! What is happening man!?" Harambe demanded.
"We are under attack by men in armor man! They have beast man!" As quick at a flash, Harambe and Paul and their troop of rough riders armed with Toyota truck with mounted Machine Guns rushed to the scene. Before them lay thousands of Imperial troops, beasts, and dragons.
"Surrender savages! And become part of the Glamorous Great Empire!" The Imperial General Yelled.
"What did me say man?"
"I don't know man."
"What do we do man."
"Simple man!"
"Man?"
"WE KILL THE MAN MAN!" And with that the rough riders armed with heavy machine guns and 105mm recoilless rifles opened fire tearing through the imerpials and their ferocious beasts. But it was clear, no matter how man rifle, machines guns, recoilless rifles and Toyota trucks they had, they would soon be overwhelmed by the vast number of human bodies. In a quick split second decision Harmabe called on his greatest weapon. "Zivimbe! Drop the bomb over!"
"But it is too thick man!" Zivimbe replied.
"DROP THE BOMB MAN!" Harambe ordered.
"Yes Commandant Harambe man." Over the Horizon came a Ugandan Airforce AH-64 Apache with faithful pilot Zivimbe. Zivimbe dived on the imperial forces and dropped and huge bombs on the Imperials. In a flash the Imperial were evaporated by the sheer force of the Commandos and their air force.
"Man a brave Commando has shed his blood upon this field today man." Harambe said solemnly.
"Don't worry man, revenge will come man." Paul said.
THREE MONTHS A LATER
Months had passed and now it was time to strike back. The Ugandan Commando's had been chosen to lead the invasion of the Special region. As the Japanese would call it mind you, if it was up to the Commandos it would be called Commando land where all Commandos could do Commando things in a state of Commando bliss. But I digress this story ain't about the Japanese this story is about Harambe and his Commandos so be quite and listen for Harambe is a great warrior.
*Ahem*
Harambe had gathered his commando's and Rough Riders and was prepared to lead them through the gate for Harambe was a Great Warrior and no one could deny it. Armed with the best Technical in the word, some of the Toyota's trucks had been equipped with MILAN ATGMs, ZU-23-2 Anti-aircraft guns added to the impressive firepower of his commando's.
"Men, today we ride into the unknown! Do not fear for the spirt of my father, Harambe the Elder, has for seen victory this day! Now men! Forward!" Harambe made the speech from the back of his War Wagon. With a battle cry and plumes of diesel smoke the Commando's pushed into the unknown. They exited the dark tunnel and came out on a hill, it was night, it was cold, but the Commando's didn't care. They would avenge their fallen commando's and claim the Special region aka Commando land. At the bottom of the hill the Imperials lit torches and began their march up the hill.
"Open fire man!" Harambe yelled, the Toyota technical swarm opened fire with an initial volley of 105mm, 12.7mm, 23mm rounds burst from the mounted guns and MILAN missiles tore through the beasts. "NOW CHARGE COMMANDOS!" And with the force of a thousand tanks and the might of the Mongols of yore the Commando's charged the enemy line. Arrows flew overhead and giants hurtled rock but none could stop what we now knows as the Charge of the Light Technical! Head first they rammed into the enemy sending bodies and gore flying everywhere. The 105mm could not be used at close range so Harambe pulled out his gold plated .44 magnum revolver and began to fire blowing off the heads of the imperials. As soon as it had begun it seemed to end.
"Is it over man?" Paul asked.
"Yes it is done man." Harambe said.
"Look man!" A commando yelled. On the Horizon thousands more Imperials marched towards the Commandos.
"By god man." A Commando said.
"It's a whole other Battalion man!" Another yelled.
"Men, prepare yourselves!" Harambe ordered loading new cartridges into his Gilded Magnum. Imperial Horse Guard charged the Brigade of Light Technical and were met with furious gunfire. But victory was far from certain, before them was hundreds of thousands of imperial foot regiments. But a glimmer of hope came from behind as a familiar thudding filled the air.
"I GOT THE BOMB MAN!" Zivimbe yelled sticking his head outside of the Helicopters as he flew over he bombed the Imperials into oblivion but many more still stood. An Imperial bowman armed with a very special bow that fires infrared guided arrows with acid lighting tips fired at the helicopter. The arrow his the stabilizer and sent the helicopter into a spin.
"I'm going down man!" Zivimbe said. The helicopter crashed amongst the imperials.
"ZIVIBE!" Harambe yelled.
"We got a Blackhawk down I repeat we got a Blackhawk down!" Paul said into the radio.
"Commandant Harambe I can see small arms coming from da Chopper man!"
"We got to save him man!"
"But we are out of bullets man!" Harambe put the ramblings of the men out of his mind as he thought of a solution. And then It came to him, he leaned down and picked up an Imperial lance, his commandos caught on and did the same. Half a league, Half a league away. Half a League Onward. Into the Valley of Death, Drove the six hundred. Forward the Light Technicals!
Many a day later
The men and women of the Third Recon Team drove down a Roman rode, the open field gave way to a gruesome scene before them. Thousands of Imperial bodies lay dead and hundreds of dead Commandos lie with them. Dead horse and dead beast mixed with burning Toyota truck.
"By god what happened here." Itami muttered.
"I thought we were the only ones who had access to the Special region." Kurata said. As the recon team moved about the battlefield a glint caught Itami's eye. He walked over to a man on the brink of death, he wore aviator shade and a red Beret, in his hand was a Gold Plated revolver.
"Medic!" Itami called. The man grabbed Itami's arm.
"Listen to me man! There is nothing you can do for me man." Harambe said. "But if you could grant a dying commando one last wish man."
"Anything." Itami said, the Recon team gathered around.
"Take my Beret, my glasses, and my gun man. Carry on my mission man, raise a Brigade of Light Technicals and avenge me man. For I am off to Commando heaven man." Harambe let one last breath before he passes. Itami took what was requested and turned to his team.
"What are you going to do Lt." Shino asked. Itami put on the Beret and Glasses then holstered the magnum.
"I shall grant the man's last wish."
And so the legends have tell of a Japanese man riding the plains of Falmart in a Toyota truck with a mounted 105mm Recoilless rifle. He travels about the land in search of a spankable elf butt, slaying all who cross his path. He shall rebuild the Light Technicals and one day avenge a fallen man.