I know I have just started another Harry/Nikki fic but the way I started it just didn't sit right with me and so I have decided to write this one and possibly take the other away but I'm not sure yet, this has little more angst but I am a sucker for a happy ending so you never know ;) It was inspired by the Ellie Goulding song "Hearts without Chains" If you haven't heard it check it out it is beautiful and fits this pairing perfectly. Enjoy

...XxxxX...

Chapter One- Time to go

It was the morning of Harry's departure, they had both known it was coming but it didn't make it any easier. He watched her sleeping beside him, so calm, so relaxed, so beautiful but it wouldn't last, it couldn't last and his heart ached. Why had he decided to go? The last few days had made him question his motives entirely, he told himself he was leaving to better himself, to advance, to try something new, but in reality he was leaving to try and forget that no matter how close they got, no matter how far they were willing to go, he could never have her, not really.

Everything had happened so quickly, when he had first told Nikki about his decision she was strangely calm, it wasn't until later that she reacted the way he had expected her to. Profanities were thrown in his direction followed closely by objects, silence, and then there were tears, lots of tears from both Nikki and himself but after the tears came acceptance. He had stayed with Nikki for his last week as his apartment had gone on the market and she had offered to have him again. He knew it was a bad idea from the start but had agreed to go as he didn't want to upset her, and now he was laying in her bed watching her sleep hours before he was due to leave the country.

Harry shifted his weight slightly and Nikki began to stir. "What time is it Harry?" She asked, her voice hoarse from sleep deprivation, neither of them had slept all that well.

"A little after 7 I really should get going soon." He replied trying to keep his voice level but he knew that she would see right through his calm exterior.

"I know, do you have everything ready?" She asked as she sat up in her bed and pulling the covers tighter around her small frame.

"Yeah it's all ready by the door, and my passport is in my hold all that I'm taking on the plane." He replied. His heart was beating so quickly, too quickly, he was nervous and they hadn't even started loading the car yet.

"Give me five minutes to get dressed then we can start loading stuff into the car." Nikki said as if she had read his thoughts, she knew him so well.

Once everything was ready they made there was back into the kitchen, Harry watched as Nikki put the kettle on and started to prepare two cups of tea. "Do you want anything to eat?" She asked know what the answer would be.

"No thanks, can you just put extra sugar in the tea please." He replied.

Nikki nodded in response and continued to busy herself with the cups. She seemed calm and it was disconcerting, he could usually read her as well as she could him but this morning she was giving nothing away, did she want him to leave?

"Here you go." Nikki said as she placed the cup down in front of him jolting him from his thoughts.

"Thanks again Nikki."

They sat in silence now, the only sound came from the clanking of the cups as they hit the counter and the ticking of the clock on the wall, an endless reminder that time waited for no one not even for two people who needed more time to say goodbye.

The drive to the airport was completely silent also, neither of them knowing what to say but her body language spoke volumes. She was closing down, shutting him out in an attempt to preserve what little control she had left. No eye contact, no touching, no speaking, only breathing.

...XxxxX...

This was it now he had checked in along with his bags all he had to do was pass though the barriers where he would go though the countless passport and security checks before boarding his flight but the look on Nikki's face at this moment stopped him in his tracks. This was going to kill them both, he knew it and that was why he had to go, it shouldn't be this hard.

"Nikki..." He started but her tears cut him off. He knew she hadn't wanted to cry, not in front of him but she just couldn't help it in the end.

He pulled the petite blonde toward him and used his thumb to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen from her deep brown eyes.

"Nikki please don't make this harder than it already is." He begged but looking in her eyes he knew that if it was hard for him, it was even harder for her. What were they thinking, why had he let the last few days happen? It would have been easier to leave her if they hadn't gotten so close, if they hadn't crossed that line.

He gave her a tight hug before pulling away and looking at her one last time, she looked broken and this time he wasn't going to be around to piece her back together, this time it was his fault.

"I'll call you when I land, please be careful on the drive home Nikki, promise me you'll be okay." He said almost pleading with her.

"Goodbye Harry, I will miss you more than you will ever know. " She replied her voice quavering. She spoke last part of the sentence so quietly that Harry didn't quite catch it but he didn't ask.

"I miss you already." He replied quietly before turning and heading toward the onslaught of security checks, he only glanced back once but when he saw Nikki glued to the spot watching him he decided that it was best not to look again. He just hoped she would be okay, he hoped that he was doing the right thing, it wasn't just Nikki who was hurting, he was hurting too and that was why he had to leave.

...XxxxX...

Nikki stood in the airport long after Harry had disappeared into the crowd but she just couldn't bring herself to move it was as if she was frozen in time yet everyone else bustled around her like bees in a hive. It was the loud ringing of her phone that finally thawed her out, predictably it was Leo calling his excuse was wanting to know if Harry had gotten on the plane okay, in reality he was checking up on her.

Harry was the one constant thing she had in her life, the one person she could depend on, lean on, talk to, trust and love and yet he had taken that away from her. Did he feel the same way? Did he feel the same loss the same panic that she felt building up inside her, coursing through every part of her body, every fibre of her being like a disease? She had never missed anyone so badly in her entire life, never depended on anyone so much but like everything she had ever known, like everyone else she had allowed into her life Harry was gone. He had flown half was across the world and though he was still alive, she could still see him it felt as though he was gone for good.