Author's Note: The Many Adventures of Forrest the Edgehead will be a series of connected one-shots. Edge will definitely be more heavily featured in coming entries but this one introduces our main character, Forrest, very well. Enjoy, let me know!
Back to School
Forrest was ready to start the school year out right, ready to be the coolest kid in school. He was very stylish for being only six years old, all dressed up in his black Guns n Roses t-shirt, a pair of camouflage cargo shorts, and his well-worn Converse Chuck Taylors. His backpack was filled with his most prized possessions—wrestling action figures, all four of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a few Transformers, a notebook for his school stuff, a pack of brand new sharpened pencils, his lunch and his cell phone. He was ready.
First grade was a big step for Forrest; he had to stay all day, meet new kids, and hope he never forgot to bring his lunch. But he wasn't worried, everything always tended to go well for Forrest.
He met his new teacher, Mrs. Henderson, who seemed pretty cool, and found his assigned seat. He couldn't help but notice that the kid two seats in front of him was wearing a John Cena t-shirt. He didn't know the boy and, as a fellow wrestling fan, he felt it was his duty to introduce himself.
At the ten o'clock recess he approached the boy with a big grin on his face. "Hey! I'm Forrest. You like wrestling too?"
The boy, who had been standing alone, smiled in return and answered "I'm Ryan. Yeah, I watch wrestling every day! John Cena's my favorite guy." He pointed at his shirt to illustrate his point.
Forrest continued smiling and said "Cena's pretty cool, I know him, he's really funny."
Ryan looked at the kid with the sandy faux-hawk and remarked incredulously "No way! How do you know John Cena?" Ryan couldn't believe his luck—this new school was awesome!
"Cuz Edge is my dad" proudly responded Forrest.
Ryan's face fell; he thought his new friend would be cool, but he was already lying to him. "No he's not!—Edge is too mean to have kids. Besides, Edge sucks."
Forrest was mad—how could this kid not believe him? "Edge doesn't suck! He only pretends to be mean cuz that's his job. Edge is a way better wrestler than John Cena!"
"Yeah right, nobody's better than Cena. He does the F-U" argued Ryan, who was getting rather angry with the taller boy.
"So what?" Forrest shot back, "Can Cena jump off of ladders? Has Cena been tag team champion a zillion times? Has Cena been World Heavyweight and WWE Champ? Can Cena do the Spear and the Edgecution? Nope." Forrest figured that he had made his point and the argument was settled, but Ryan just couldn't be convinced.
"So! Everyone knows John Cena is cooler! He raps, and he's in movies! That's way better than the Spear." Ryan turned to a nearby group of boys and loudly asked them "Who's better—Edge or John Cena?"
All three responded in unison. "John Cena!"
Forrest couldn't believe that his friends would turn on him like that. "Nuh-uh, not true. Edge is the awesomest—everyone knows that" he said, much quieter than before, staring down at his sneakers.
"No he's not" one of the boys said, rather rudely, "If you don't like John Cena then you're not cool anymore Forrest!" The three boys walked away as one put his arm around Ryan, introducing him to the rest of the gang.
No one would talk to Forrest after that. Not even the big bag of Twix bars he had brought to share would convince anyone to sit with him at lunch. Forrest did his best to hold in his tears as he watched Ryan getting the best spot at the table, with everyone treating him like a king. This wasn't how the first day of school was supposed to go at all!
He couldn't wait for the school day to end, and he almost forgot his backpack in his rush to get out of the door when the bell rang.
A black Lexus sedan pulled up to the school and a rather pregnant brunette got out of the driver's side door. She waved at him, shouting "Forrest, over here!" with a big smile on her face.
He rushed over to her and greeted her with "Hi Mom" while allowing her to take off his backpack and buckle him in the backseat. As the car left the parking lot, he acknowledged his three year old brother next to him. "Hey 'Vian" he said dejectedly. He remained silent for the rest of the car ride, and his mother couldn't help but notice how oddly quiet her normally happy and talkative son was. Something was definitely wrong.
As they entered their Tampa home, Forrest finally broke the silence. He wailed "Mom!" before flinging himself into her arms and sobbing uncontrollably. She gently stroked his hair as she cooed softly "Baby, what's the matter? Tell Mama…"
When he finally got his tears under control he began telling her about his awful day between ragged breaths. She nodded throughout his story, clearly upset by her son's pain. "It was awful Mama, and now no one will talk to me. I'm never going back there again!" he finished.
She waited a moment, still holding him in her arms, before speaking. "You know, why don't you call and talk to your father about this? I'm sure he'll know what to do" she suggested, wiping away his tears, trying to reassure her oldest child.
"Ok," he responded meekly before getting off of her lap to go in search of the cordless phone. He dialed the phone himself, slowly punching in the phone number he had so faithfully and determinedly committed to memory. He sniffled a little as he waited for his father to answer the phone.
It rang a couple of times before an imposing blonde figure answered his buzzing cell phone. "Hey" came the greeting from a hotel room somewhere in the American Mid-West, curious as to why his family was calling him in the middle of the afternoon.
"Hi Dad" Forrest responded on the other end of the line.
"What's up Forrest?" his father asked, noticing the remaining hint of sadness in his voice.
Forrest broke the bad news. "Dad, the new kid at school said you suck."
The man laughed heartily and ran his fingers through his long blonde hair. "Well son, what did you expect? I am a heel you know. Who did he like?"
"John Cena" continued Forrest, "and he got everyone else to like Cena too. So now nobody will talk to me!"
His father chuckled again. "Well…he likes John Cena…and he thinks I suck. Hmmm…what do you think that sounds like Forrest?"
Forrest grinned. "An easy mark?!"