Words I Couldn't Say

"IT'S OVER!"

"Sara wait… Please don't go." Grissom was begging her not to walk out that door, but she did it anyway.

"I will be at Catherine's but you better not call unless you really need me… And this time your sweet talk won't work."

"But Sara…" and the door slammed in his face. He had tears in his eyes.

He walked to the kitchen grabbed a glass and the bottle of scotch that had yet to be opened. He went to the living room and sat on the couch. He poured himself a glass of scotch and turned on the stereo.

Sara's Rascal Flatts CD started to play. Grissom started to cry as the song "What Hurts The Most" started to play.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

"That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm OK
But that's not what gets me"

"What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do"

As the song ended Grissom poured himself another scotch and remembered the last time she walked out.

It was three months ago, a case came up that lady heather was involved in (The Good The Bad And The Dominatrix that's the eppi) Sara was kind of jealous. He thought he had gotten through to her that Heather meant nothing to him, but she still left and went to Catherine's for the night. Catherine never asked any questions as to why Sara couldn't stay at her own house.

When Sara stormed out the last time she had said it was over and she was going to Catherine's. But she came back the next day. He said something right. But this time was different. He didn't know why she was storming out. He didn't know what he did.

He sat on the couch crying listening to Rascal Flatts and drinking his scotch. He had listened to this CD with Sara so many times he had the whole thing memorized. They put it on shuffle so they never knew which song would be next. Then on came the song "Words I Couldn't Say".

"In a book- in a box- in the closet
In a line- in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon"

"There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away"

He started to listen very closely to the words of this song. It hit him hard.

"What do I do now that you're gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say"

"There's rain that will never stop fallin'
There's a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it's too late now"

Was it really too late for him to call Sara and try and find out what was wrong? Or should he just go to Catherine's? But then Catherine would know about them. Is it worth it to let out the secret? What if she decides to leave Vegas and he never sees her again? He needed to make this right, but how?

"What do I do now that you're gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say"

"What do I do now that you're gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say"

He needed to be able to talk to her. He had had too many drinks though, so he couldn't drive over there. He couldn't call her she would hang up on him or not answer. What could he do?

He picked up his cell phone and dialed Brass's number.

"Brass."

"Hey Brass. It's Gil I need you to pick me up at my house and take me to Catherine's house bow."

"Griss it's midnight. Why do you need me to take you there can't you drive?"

"No, I have had too many glasses of scotch. Just come pick me up. I will tell you on the way," and he hung up.

Brass showed up twenty minutes later. Grissom put on his shoes grabbed his coat and left the scotch and Rascal Flatts playing.

They got in the car.

"So what's going on?"

"Okay… Sara and I had a fight."

"What?"

"Sara and I have a been seeing each other for a while now. Okay… She stormed out on me a couple hours ago and I don't know why and I need to talk to her."

"Why'd you wait so long? Why'd you wait until you were drunk?"

"I don't know I didn't know what to say to her. Just drive faster please."

They finally go there after what seemed like forever for Grissom. Grissom jumped out of the car and knocked on the door.

Catherine answered.

"Griss what are you doing here and why do you smell like alcohol?"

"Where's Sara I need to talk to her," he pushed Catherine to the side, "Sara…"

"Sara got up off the couch Kleenexes fell to the floor.

"Go away Gil… I don't want to talk to you, not now."

"No Sara… I'm not leaving without you." He walked over to here and put his hand on her cheek. She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand off of her.

"Well I'm not leaving."

"Sara I don't know what I did. I don't know what happened and I don't want you to leave. I need you. I love you."

Catherine and Brass stood in the other room watching both shocked Catherine more shocked than Brass because she didn't know.

"I'm not falling for that again."

"But Sara I do love you."

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you talking to her on the phone for like two hours?"

"Heather?"

"Yeah," Sara broke down in tears again.

"Should we do something?" Catherine whispered to Brass.

"Let them settle it for themselves. Do you have coffee I have a feeling we will be here for a while?" said Brass.

Catherine and Brass went to the kitchen for coffee.

"Sara… Honey, I'm sorry. Heather and I are just friends. Nothing more and it had never been more. I told you that before. You have nothing to worry about I love you and only you. You are my world." There he said the words he couldn't say before. He finally got them out. Why was that so hard before?

"Gil it isn't that easy."

"Why?"

"I just… I just don't know it isn't okay." She sat on the couch and put her knees up to her chest and her head in her hands.

Grissom sat down next to here and put his arms around her.

"I don't want to lose you. Please trust me. I love you."

She didn't respond she just kept crying.

"One second, I will be right back."

Grissom walked into the kitchen to find Catherine and Brass sitting there having a good time talking.

"Catherine…"

"Yeah Griss…"

"Do you have the Me and My Gang CD by Rascal Flatts?"

"Actually I do."

"Good can I borrow it and a stereo or CD player or something?"

"Sure." Catherine went and got the CD and said, "You can use the stereo in the living room."

"Thanks."

Grissom went back to the living room put the CD in and went straight to track number eight. As the song started he walked back to Sara on the couch who finally stopped crying and had her head out of her hands, but she was still curled in a ball.

"You waved your hand and it was done
So let it be and there it was
A mountain, so high, it broke through, the sky
A canyon, so deep, it'll bring a man to his knees"

"I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on how hard
Could it be, to make her love me?"

"I've said some things I shouldn't have
Tried everything to win her back
I'm human, I messed up, Is she gone?, Are we done?
Forgiveness, another chance, that's all I want, it's in your hands"

"I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on how hard
Could it be, to make her love me?"

"I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on how hard
Could it be, to make her love me?"

"To make her love me
To make her love me (oooo)"

As the song ended Sara looked at Grissom who was staring at her. He had been whispering the words along with the song. She looked in his deep beautiful blue eyes and all she saw was pain. She was really hurting him and she wasn't even exactly sure why. It was quiet until Grissom said something.

"Sara, honey… I don't know what I can do to make you love me again, but I want you to know that you can take your time but I will probably end up calling you every night. Or every chance I get and I won't let this rest until you are back in my arms. Honey I need you. I love you. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. I want you to love me."

Grissom got tears in his eyes, but he tried his best to hold them in. He couldn't hold them anymore. He stood up from the couch and headed for the door and called for Brass to take him home. Brass came to the door where Grissom was standing staring at Sara on the couch; she was just staring at the floor.

The door opened, "Bye Sara," said Grissom.

"WAIT," Sara screamed and stood and ran to the door, "You can't leave."

"Why not?"

"Cause I love you."

Grissom hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. Brass and Catherine looked relieved. Sara grabbed her stuff and Brass went home. Sara drove Grissom to their house.

As they walked in she heard Rascal Flatts singing and saw a bottle of scotch that was a quarter of the way gone with an empty glass next to it sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Gill…"

"Hmmm…"

"You're slightly drunk aren't you?"

"Yeah… After you left I was a wreck. I got the bottle down and started to drink and I turned on the stereo and your CD came on and I cried harder and…" Sara cut him off by kissing him.

"I'm so sorry I left," said Sara.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

THE END