I'm back~
I think I gonna make stories more faster...
'CAUSE NO MORE SCHOOL EXAMS!
...for a while
Sorry if its not as you expected 'cause I'm tired of reading or seeing Len dies! I can't make Len dies!
Please R&R!
-Soundless Voice-
We're one. Nothing can separates us. We are bound together. We have promised. We'll never leave others. We'll stay together 'till the very end. Yeah, eternally..
Len's POV
Its already turn into winter… The town is getting busier from preparing Christmas, new year and stuffs. I just finished my work, my part time job. In the corner of my eyes, I see a girl with blond hair, Rin, in a minimarket buying some oranges. She's my cousin, though I live with her cause my parents are working in other country. SeeU is already too kind to give me room to stay and make it my bedroom so I don't want to trouble her anymore. Rin that just got out the store notices me and called me, "LEEEN~". Its like I have any choice… I don't
"Yeah,Rin...?" I noticed there are something different with her face. It's paler. Just like a walking corpse..
"Hehe~ Let's go home together…" she smiled, as she grabbed my hand and start rushing. As soon as we arrived at home she start sneezing and her face start to turn red.
"Rin-chan! Okaa-san is searching for you! I'm so worried! Look at yourself now… You caught a fever again!" SeeU scold her. But Rin don't want to lose either. This mom and daughter are stubborn.
"But, okaa-san! My oranges aren't in the refrigerator! I wanna eat oranges!"
"But why you don't tell me to buy them for you?"
"I'm bored of being alone in my bedroom…" then she start coughing hard. The two of them turn into silence. I only heard Rin's coughing sounds.
Its been a week since then… Rin only stay at her bedroom. Even though SeeU said that it just a fever, I'm not stupid to not figure it that it's a serious sickness. Her face lost its color. I take a break from my part time job. Rin asked me why and I only answered, " Its holiday afterall. I must take some break, right?"
…
After some days, she said she feels better and she asked me to go out side with her. At first I denied her, but then I accepted it. I know, she only want to do things she want to do. It's snowy outside. I gave her a winter coat and a scarf to wear cause its cold outside and she wear it. I also wear my coat and scarf. As we exhaling, we can see our white breath in the air. I feel like its already a long time since we played together. She running with that smiling face of hers happily in this snowy path. I follow her in the back. I can't help but smile seeing her happy face. Recently, I only see her with fake smile in her face. I know, she's suffering. In nights, I can hear her sobs. She's in pain but I can't do anything.
In this night, the snow is falling…
I stood here, seeing her occasionally falls.. and gives me reassuring smile that she's okay…
I know it, you're weaken.
I know that you're in pain…
Why you don't tell me?
That you're in pain?
I'm scared..
Scared of losing you…
We came back home again, before we entered the house, she told me to promise, that we'll making snowman, and I promised.
But, the next day.. She only turn weaker..
Even though I asked her, she only answer me by, "I'm okay". I can tell… Every night you're crying… From pain.. I know it. There's no way that I can pretend that you're okay! You're precious to me.. I don't want to see you forcing a smile. I don't want you to hurt and pain… What can I do for you?
If I can, I want to substitute you..
To make myself the one who suffer..
I don't like to suffer so much..
"Len" she said my name weakly. I know her time won't be long again.
"Yeah, what is it .. Rin?"
"I want to go outside. I want to buy oranges in the minimart again. I want to play outside with everyone again… With Miku-chan, Kaito-nii, Lily-nee, Neru-chii, and you, too.."
"Hai, we will.. We will go outside again and play with everyone…" dammit, I'm in verge to cry. I must not letting myself to cry..
"I still want to fulfill our promise. I want to make a snowman."
"Yeah. We'll make the snowman."
"I want to go outside now."
"We can't now.. You're still as pale as the snow.. We can do it tomorrow, right?"
"Don't want! I want now! NOW!"
"RIN-CHAN! You must stay on your bed!" SeeU scold her.
"But, okaa-san.. I beg you…" Rin pleaded with her teary eyes.
SeeU opened the door, She smiled a bitter smile, "Alright, you win. But, this the last time. I beg you." Rin gives a small nod. Rin and I wear our winter coat and scarf. We went outside. Its cold for me.. And I know its more cold to Rin.
"Len, lets start!" Rin starts to collect some snow and make it to a ball. I help her too. After we finished making 2 ball of snow, I putted the small ball to the upper of the bigger one. Rin decorate the snowman with some branches, and rocks.
"Len, this snowman is so cute. And it's so cool. I want to bring it home but it will melt. It will vanish as it melt.."
" Of course it will melt. Our home is warmth after all."
"The life span will be shorter. Ne, Len, how do I sound right now?"
"Ima donna oto?"
BRUKK!
Rin fall. I'm stunned. Rin, I haven't answer you. Don't you want to hear my answer? Her body is so cold.
"Kotae tatte kimi wa mou nanimo kikoenai.."
"RIIIIN!"
"Ne, gomen Len.. It looks like its my GAME OVER. My DEAD END."
"Wh-what are you talking about?" I know what you're talking about.
"There are so many things that I want to do. But, I can't. Things that I used to do.. I can't do it anymore. I feel so weak. Ah, my eyes is so heavy. I'm tired, Len. I want to sleep…"
"Don't sleep!" but she already close her eyes. My tears start to falling down. I can feel my salty tears running down to my cheek.
She's not here anymore.
"Oite ka nai de"
"Bokura zutto futari de hitotsu darou?"
As the snow becomes thicker,
You gradually fade away…
I can't do anything but embrace you..
I wish, just one more time..
To hear your voice..
One more time, just one more time…
Say my name…
Say my name the way you usually do…
I can't see clearly with this teary eyes..
But, I know..
In this gray world,
Everything has stopped.
Except for the quietly falling snow…
You are becoming cold.
Your voice has not come back.
We've given up understanding each other.
Hear my voice, smile for me once more…
Tell me that this is only an act.
Open your eyes an tell me, "Its just a joke~" like what you usually do.
Please.
I haven't tell you.
I love you…
Even that cannot be said..
Its Rin funeral. Everyone comes and sad knowing her death. Almost everyone crying. SeeU and her best friend IA is crying even though at first IA trying to comfort SeeU. But, I don't cry. I remain silent. My eyes are still red, but I don't cry. I ran out of tears.
Everyone loves her.
I know it.
"Len."
"What SeeU?"
"Here." She gives me a box. I opened it. Inside that box, there many papers on it and a notebook.
Inside the notebook there are many words on it.
"Gomen ne. Hontouni gomen.. Len. I keep all of it myself. I'm being selfish. I thought that if I keep it myself, at least from you… I can live my life peacefully. But, I actually scared. If you found out my sickness. Its not from this winter. I started to get sick since I was 10. Its already 6 years since then. The doctors can't cure me. They even don't know the reason of my sickness. Well this is the song I write. This is "Proof of Life", my proof of life. The other letters are for everyone But, I want you to be the first to read my letter and song."
Rin.. I'm sorry.
"Here is it."
There are many words that get scratch and be repair. Her tidy writing turns to untidy writing. I'm sure her hands get trembles while writing it. How stubborn she is. I smiled and my tears come again and falling again.
"fuyu o tsugeru kaze no koe ni
mimio katamuke furueru karada
tonari ni iru anata no iki
shiroku natte samusō
kotoshi mo mata inochi wa kare hate
yagate kuru haru o machi wabiru
inochi no rensa o kiki nagara
mebuite yuku hikari no naka de
kuchite yuku sadame to
wakatte nao tsuyoku
iki shite itai yo utatte itai
watashi nimo nanika nokoseru to īna
watashi ga ikita inochi noakashi o...
kanashī uta niwa shitaku nai yo
nē onegai ima kono toki dake wa
waratte itai yo... anata no yoko de
yasashī uta o utatte itai
ikudo me kano fuyu o koete
yatto kizuita kono kimochi wa
tsugeru koto wa deki nakatta kedo
kokoro wa itsumo tsunagatte ita yone...
kurakute mie nai yo...
nani mo kikoe nai yo...
kowai yo...
kurushī yo...
samishī yo...
nani mo kamoa subete ga
kiete iku naka de
anata no egao dake ga
ima kie nai...
yasashī uta o uuatte ite ne
kodoku nasekai ni tsutsumaretemo
zutto soba ni iru yo wasure naide ne
anata wa itsumo hitori ja nai yo
samishiku nai yo anata ga iru
daki shimete kureru atatakai te de
kikoe nai keredo tsutawatte iru yo
fureta yubisaki kara aishiteru...tte
kanashī uta niwa shitaku nai yo
nē onegai ima kono toki dake wa
waratte itai yo anata to tomo ni
yasashī uta o utatte itai
anata ni sasage tai sekibetsu no uta
saigo ni tsutae tai yo arigatō..."
"I started to write this after the last time we play outside. I just know it. The next time we go to play outside.. Its my dead end. I just feel it. But, Len.. Keep live on. Please. Live on for me. If you're reading this. I'm dead. I don't want to burden okaa-san. That's why I'm crying at night. I hope you understand. You know.. I love you. I can't tell you that. I know I'm lying to myself. But.. Let me tell you. Len, I love you. Sayonara."
I close the notebook. I laugh at myself. Kaito and Meiko approach me.
"Are you okay, Len?" and everyone comes to me too. I smiled as wipe a tear in my right eye.
"I'm okay. And everyone. Look! We get letter from Rin!"
Rin, gave them the letters. I decided. I'll keep living on. As you told. Arigato Rin. Sayonara.
HOW IS IT? BAD? GOOD? FLAMES? ITS OKAY! I'M USED TO GET SCOLDED BY EVERYONE...
HEHE~
See you next time I write or updates any stories.
Jaa nee!