Disclaimer: According to a deal with my friends I own Sirius Black, but JK Rowling still refuses to give me the damn copyrights! Any lines from OOTP and DH belong to JK Rowling. In fact, everything except for the plot belongs to her, so no copyright infringement intended!
Summary: Where is the little girl with the red lips and black hair, and the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes, who promised they would hold hands forever? Bellatrix/Sirius oneshot
In this fic, I'm sorry if anybody seems OOC (Bellatrix mostly), but remember that she probably wasn't always the bitch that she became, lol.
Please read and review!
Her Own Spilt Blood
"You don't want to kill me, my Bella."
"Don't call me Bella! I'm not your little Bella anymore!" Bellatrix screeched, throwing curse after curse at him. "And, I really do want to kill you!" She shouted the last two words even louder.
"There are worse things than death, my sweet Bella Trixie. Where is the little girl with the red lips and black hair, and the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes, who promised they would hold hands forever?" Sirius stared at her, and realized something. Her black hair was the same; her pale skin still the same shade of white; her lips still naturally blood red; her walk the same, her smile the same. Her eyes the same color, but they were so different. Where did his Bellatrix go?
"What could possibly be worse than death? Watching someone you love die?" Bella laughed a cold, high laugh. Sirius just looked at her.
"Yes, but you don't know love; I do. Want to know what you would find worse? Living with the knowledge that you killed the only man who will ever love you!" Nobody else was there suddenly; just Bellatrix and Sirius.
Bella was suddenly the little girl with the red lips and black hair…Sirius was suddenly the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes…and they had made a promise that was never kept.
A crash brought them back to reality, as Sirius saw the prophecy fall.
"And by the way, Sirius, the little girl with the red lips and the black hair is going to kill the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes!"
"Who promised that they would hold hands forever! Because as far as I'm concerned, Trixie, the little girl has been dead for years!"
Neither noticed Dumbledore enter the room.
"Knowing that you killed me will slowly kill you, my Bella Trixie."
"You have never loved me! And I have never loved you!" Bella laughed, as though willing herself to believe those statements.
"Then kill me and see for yourself what it does! Memories can haunt you worse than ghosts, Bella Trixie."
Then they were the only couple dueling. Sirius dodged Bellatrix's jet of red light, surprised within himself that he hadn't saw the flash of green, and he knew it then: she wouldn't kill him.
"Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing, as the room was suddenly silent.
The next jet of red light hit him in the chest, and then he realized that the veil was behind him.
It took him an age to fall backward through the veil, and he threw a smile at Bellatrix, his old Bella Trixie, as he fell through…
Bellatrix then realized what had happened. That she had killed him.
The others might have mistaken her scream as triumphant, but it took all of her might not to start shaking, realized what she had done…
She heard his voice in her head, and realized that he was right; memories were ghosts in themselves.
"Where is the little girl with the red lips and black hair, and the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes, who promised they would hold hands forever?" he taunted her in her head.
Bellatrix saw another Auror (Kingsley was his name, she remembered later on) come to her, and she fought him. She felt spots clouding her vision; she needed to leave this room, now. She saw him hit the ground, and she ran.
She saw Harry come after her. She couldn't help it; if she was feeling pain, she wanted him to feel it too, but much worse…
"Come out, come out, little Harry! What did you come after me for, then? I thought you were here to avenge my dear cousin?" Who loved me, she thgouth.
"I am!" Harry screamed.
"Aaaaaah…did you love him, little baby Potter?" Because I did, she admitted to herself.
And after the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort, as she sat in her house, she was lost in memories…
o.O.o.o.O.o.
"Sirius?" she whispered. Bellatrix looked over at Sirius as he lay on the grass next to her. They were leaving for Hogwarts the next day.
"What Bella?" he said, not looking at her, but rather at the sky.
"What do you think Hogwarts will be like?"
"I don't know," Sirius said, finally turning to face his cousin. "But you'll be there, so I'll be okay."
"Yeah," Bellatrix said, "I'll always have you to hold my hand."
The two cousins laughed, remembering a time when they were four.
"Bella Trixie?" Sirius said, as they laid in the same spot that they would lay in seven years later the night before they went to Hogwarts.
Bellatrix smiled at his nickname for her. "Yeah Siri?"
"Promise me that we'll always be best friends. That we'll…"
"Hold hands forever," Bellatrix said softly. Sirius looked at her with wild eyes.
"Yes! We'll hold hands and be best friends forever!"
The two then went to bed.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
Sirius was waiting in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Bellatrix wanted to go see some of her friends, so he was sitting in a compartment with two people: a boy with messy, dark black hair and glasses, and a pretty girl with dark red hair and green eyes. He didn't speak to either of them.
Another boy, with black greasy hair, opened the door, and he started talking to the girl.
"You'd better be in Slytherin." The greasy boy said.
"Slytherin?" The other boy spoke. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" Sirius realized the boy was talking to him.
"My whole family have been in Slytherin." He said solemnly.
"Blimey, and I thought you seemed all right!" Sirius grinned at the boy, thinking of him and Bellatrix breaking the family tradition together.
"Maybe I'll break the tradition…"
o.O.o.o.O.o.
Bellatrix was sorted first, into Slytherin. She grinned at Sirius as he stepped up onto the platform.
The whole Great Hall heard 'Gryffindor' shouted from the hat.
Bellatrix felt tears start to pour down her cheeks.
"You betrayed me," she whispered as Sirius sent her a small, scared smile as he joined the Gryffindor table.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
"You betrayed me!" Bellatrix yelled at Sirius the next day in one of the hallways. He leaned against a wall.
"I didn't ask to be in Gryffindor, Bella Trixie! I'm more surprised than you are!"
"But you're a Black! And Blacks are pureblood royalty, and rule the Slytherin House!"
Sirius looked at his favorite person in slight disgust. "Just because we're pureblooded doesn't mean that we're any better than the half-bloods or Muggle-borns. Don't get caught up in our family's pureblood mania."
o.O.o.o.O.o.
They stayed friends until the middle of third year. Then she befriended the people who would rule the Death Eaters.
Their last civil conversation wasn't exactly how Sirius had wanted to say goodbye.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
It was Christmas during sixth year when it happened. Bellatrix had just accepted the marriage proposal of one Rodolphus Lestrange, a highly accepted pureblood wizard who was a couple of years older than her. The Black Family couldn't have been happier with this engagement.
Sirius was sitting in his bedroom, looking at a picture of him and Bellatrix when they were ten. He looked at it angrily before tearing it into pieces and hitting the wall next to him.
He heard the door open, close and be locked, and the soft footsteps meant the person he least wanted to see.
"Get out of here Bellatrix."
"What, no Bella Trixie?" Bellatrix sat on her knees behind him on his bed, and put her head on his shoulder.
"Get the fuck off of me Bella Trixie." He said the name in a mocking, fake-sweet tone. She placed her arms around his neck.
"I wanted to say goodbye. We're choosing opposite sides, blood-traitor."
"You're on the wrong side, Bellatrix. Evil can never beat good. Surely you must remember some fairytales from when you were younger? Good always wins."
He felt her lips on the side of his neck, and suddenly saw black spots.
"What are you doing?" He heard his voice shake. She kissed his neck again, then kissed a line up to his jaw, his cheek…she barely touched his lips, but she did.
She got up and sat down so she was straddling Sirius's lap. She gently pushed him down, and kissed his lips.
"Get the hell away from me!" But she kissed him again, and all rational thought left Sirius's brain except for one.
She hurt you.
So hurt her.
He kissed back, pushing his tongue into her mouth as they battled. Sirius flipped them over, so he was on top of her, and bit her lip, satisfied when he felt her blood in his mouth and her hiss of pain.
He ripped open her shirt, and bit her neck, exerting another hiss of pain from her bloodied lips. She licked them.
Kissing her down to the top of her chest, he took off her shirt, unclasped her bra, and slid it down her shoulders, squeezing her breasts hard. He kissed one of her breasts as he squeezed the other, and then switched, kissing the other. Then he brought his mouth upon one of the nipples, and bit.
He couldn't tell if the moan was from pain, pleasure, or a sick mix of both.
Bellatrix lightly flipped them again. She straddled Sirius's hips as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, taking as much time as she could, kissing every new area of skin, and sometimes leaving a blood mark, which she licked off. Once his shirt was completely off, she raked her fingernails down his chest, emitting eight long cuts from her sharp nails.
Pain was pleasure to both of them, as Sirius groaned as Bella licked the blood off of each of the cuts.
They no longer cared about hurting each other, because this was goodbye, and they knew it.
She reached for his jeans, and slipped them down and off, slightly and deliberately touching the bulge that was forming in Sirius's boxers. He hissed at her.
She slowly edged the boxers down and took his cock in her hand, running her fingers down its lengths, listening to the moans she was hearing Sirius emit, ecstatic that she could make a man feel this way. She slowly lowered her mouth to it, and took it in her mouth. Sirius moaned "Oh god, Bella," at Bellatrix swore her heart skipped a beat. He came in her mouth.
He then flipped her over once again, and slowly edged her skirt down. Once it was off, he outlined the damp outline on her panties. He pulled them off as well, and then stuck one, two, three fingers inside of her.
She threw her head back as her eyes rolled into the back of her head as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. Just as she was reaching her climax, he removed his fingers and replaced them with his tongue.
"Sirius," was moaned through Bellatrix's lips as his tongue invaded her, and he heard her cry and felt the wetness rushing to meet his tongue, which he gladly accepted as he licked his lips.
Sirius kissed Bellatrix again, softly this time.
As he looked down at her and kissed her lips, Sirius had never seen Bellatrix look as vulnerable as she did then.
Contrary to the rumors at Hogwarts, Sirius could see that Bellatrix had never gone this far before, but he didn't need to tell her it was going to hurt.
But he whispered "I'm not sorry," as he pushed himself into her.
He saw her face contort in pain, and Bellatrix half wanted to tell him to get the hell out of there. But soon enough the pain had faded away and she was left with a feeling that surpassed all of her expectations.
He pulled out nearly all the way, and then plunged back in.
Bellatrix and Sirius moved as one, their hearts beating in unison, all coherent thoughts gone from their brains; they weren't related, they were just Sirius and Bellatrix, Siri and Bella Trixie; the only things that mattered in the world were them, as they stared into each others eyes, and Sirius leaned down as kissed her again as they both came simultaneously.
He let his head rest on her chest as they breathed heavily.
That was the goodbye that Sirius had been looking for, because he knew that with him and Bellatrix on opposite sides of the ever-growing war, they wouldn't see each other again.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
He realized he loved her as soon as she left the next morning.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
She realized she loved him as she watched him sleep that night.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
Three months later, Sirius ran away to live with James Potter.
The next time he saw her was when she passed his cell in Azkaban.
o.O.o.o.O.o.
Bellatrix looked at the box, filled to the brim with pictures, notes, presents, everything that she had that reminded her of Sirius.
Memories were like ghosts, but worse. Because ghosts haunted you, and you could blame them for it, but they never knew exactly how to hurt you.
Memories…they were caused by you, remembered by you, and knew exactly how to plague your heart with unwanted memories that you never wanted to forget, and yet never wanted to remember.
Bellatrix cried for the first time since she was thirteen.
Where is the little girl with the red lips and black hair, and the little boy whose dark hair cascaded over his eyes, who promised they would hold hands forever?
o.O.o.o.O.o.
that was first try at something smutty and Sirius/bellatrix, so I hope it was good!
Please review! I'm actually pretty proud of this, so take ten seconds and make my day by reviewing!
Thanks for reading!
ndrox