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Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Other: The italics words are Blackstar's, and the regular words are Daisy's. Yes, I said Daisy.
***
I'm just a simple queen. I used to be a kittypet. I'm useless. I can't hunt, I can barely fight, and I'm as far from a warrior as you can get- so why am I getting these feelings?
I'm the ShadowClan leader. About as far from a kittypet as you can go. I should hate those stupid kittypets Firestar the softhearted brings in- but this one is different.
Maybe it's because he reminds me of Spiderleg. So aloof and proud, with his white fur shining in the moonlight… his big black paws so strong and beautiful, you almost forget they hide claws beneath.
Maybe it's because she reminds me of Brightflower. So shy and reserved, with her caring expression and her creamy soft fur.
I have kits, for StarClan's sake! I can't be falling in love- Rosekit and Toadkit must be my number one priority.
I'm a Clan leader, for StarClan's sake! This can't happen to me! I have mouths to feed and names to give- I don't have time for forbidden love. And with a kittypet? What's StarClan thinking?
"Can I go to the Gathering?" I ask Firestar. He says yes and turns away, like usual. I try to look like I don't really care, but my heart fills with joy- I'll get to see Beestar- or whatever his name is.
As I prepare my Clan for the coming Gathering, I can't help but feel some joy. Russetfur is flanking me as usual. "Excited for the Gathering?" she asks me.
When we arrive, me heart almost skips a beat. There he is- climbing up the tree.
As I settle down in my spot, Leopardstar's voice seems to be far away. I can't help but stare at the she-cat- and I notice she's looking at me the same way.
I notice Blackstar (so that was name) is looking at me. Could he feel the same way- or am I just hallucinating?
"Blackstar? Blackstar?" Leopardstar's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Aren't you going to report?" Russetfur gives me a glare that says "Thanks for embarrassing us."
I watch as he says that everything's fine, and that the prey is running well and such. I think it's cute how secretive he acts, as if we're going to attack ShadowClan if he says one weakness. I flash him a smile as he looks at me again.
Before I know it, the Gathering is over. Russetfur starts leaving, but I stop her.
"Take the Clan back." I say. "I'll catch up with you." She gives me a weird look but nods and leads the Clan back. I wait till every cat is gone and then glance at the she-cat.
"I'll catch up." I tell Firestar, and he nods. Then I turn around and see Blackstar. He stayed behind from his Clan, too. Is it possible he loves me too?
Is it possible she loves me too?
Then he steps forword. He twines his tail with mine and I feel a rush of energy. Every hair on my pelt tingles with pleasure. Then he brings his muzzle closer to mine- is he going to nuzzle me?
I bring my muzzle closer to hers. Is that affection in her eyes? I want to muzzle her, but I remind myself I can't. That's odd. The moon is still shining bright. Does StarClan approve of me and… this kittypet? Impossible. Utterly impossible.
I wait for him to lick me, but he falters. His gaze is nonchalant, empty of all emotion. Instead he touches noses with me. Then he untwines my tail and leaves. The way he looks over his shoulder tells me that there will be no secret meetings. We'll never have any kits. A nose touch is as close as we'll ever get. I'll never feel his pelt brush against mine or hear him say that he loves me. I'll never really know him…
So that was the last time I saw her. This was wrong on so many levels…
This was so wrong…
But yet…
It felt…
So right.
XXX
I'm going to get a ton of bad reviews for this. Oh, this shipping is called Puddingshipping.
~Lukos