Audience: *whispers*
Mina: You're glad I'm back, right?
Audience: *mumbles*
Mina: Because if you're not, I just might have to kill someone.... *cries*
Audience: *Silence*
Mina: *roars* Fine!! Bring in Uchiha Sasuke!!
Gaara brings in an unconscious Sasuke.
Audience: *gasps* Sasuke-kun!!
Mina: *in a trance* Uchiha Sasuke...
Sasuke: *becomes a little conscious* Mommy? Daddy? Is that you?
Mina: Uchiha Sasuke.... YOU MUST DIE!! *Grabs chainsaw and gets ready to swing it down*
At the Akatsuki hideout...
Itachi: *starts shouting like in Jerry Springer* KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!!
Kisame: Itachi, I thought you wanted to kill him, yourself!
Deidra: Wait a minute... You're still watching... *gasps* MINA'S SHOW!!
Kisame and Deidra: *Double gasps*
Itachi: *Glares and shoots them the bird*
Kisame: *Goes dramatic* Fine! Hmphh! *links arms with Deidra and skips out the back door, right smack into Alice in Wonderland*
Alice: *Orochimaru's theme song plays on the background* What are you doing here?!?!
Deidra: We're here because we want too! Also because... My hair is b i SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS!/b/i
Alice: That's it! Send in the bunnies!
Kisame and Deidra: Bunnies....? *Starts laughing manianically*
The bunnies surround Kisame and Deidra.
Alice: Fire!!
The bunnies starts shooting robotic elmos at Deidra.
Deidra: Huh? It's eating me! It's eati-sdfDei!!*starts gasping*
Kisame: Dei-san!! What's happening!?! Alice! I'll kill you!
Alice: Shut it Fish-head!
Kisame: *confused* How'd you know my name?
Alice: You're an idiot... Oh well, launch the fish hooks!
Kisame: Fish hooks...?Huh?
Kisame: Wait...You mean... No...Please! PLEASE NOT THE FISHHOOKS!!
Deidra and Kisame start screaming in pain.
Alice's phone starts ringing...
Alice: *On phone* Hello? *muttering on the other end of phone* Yes boss, they're all taken care of. *More muttering on the other end of phone* Yeah, yeah, I did it, so where's my ten grand? *Mad whispers on the other end of phone* WHERE'S MY TEN GRAND! I WANT MY F*&#(&$ TEN GRAND! YOU'LL REGRET THIS! I'LL KILL YOU!!
Alice turns off her phone.
Alice: *looks at the unicorns* Looks like we have some business to settle.
Back at Mina's studio...
Mina's backstage and the audience is just watching a huge tv screen.
This is what they're watching.
Mina: GAARA!! GET IN HERE!
Gaara: *grits teeth* What now?!?! Because I WILL NOT GET YOU ANOTHER JELLY DOUGHNUT!!
Mina: And why not? *Holds chainsaw behind her back*
Gaara: *sighs defeatedly* Because we're out...
Mina: That's okay, Gaara. For once in your life you didn't do anything wrong.
Gaara: *Gets a Murderous look on his face* ...
Mina: I'm just simply asking to please update my hit-man's list! Let's see...Please add "Alice in Wonderland."
Gaara: Alice? I thought that was a movie...?
Alice: Unfortunately, it's not. She became one of the best hit-mans in the world. *Starts whispering* They say it's really not her at all, they say it's her overgrown, evil-minded rabbits.
Gaara: Rabbits?
Mina: Yeah, so now, the hit-man...must be hit-manned.
Gaara: Wait...what? No way am I going to deal with evil minded, overgrown rodents!
Mina: Oh come on! They're just harmless bunnies!
Gaara: But you just said th-
Mina: Who cares what I just said! Just do it!
Gaara: *points at chair* What's that?
Mina: Hey,your right! What is that?
Gaara: If I didn't know any better I would think it's a camera.
Mina: Then it's a good thing you don't know any better.
Gaara: *swears*
Mina: S*#, it's a camera!
Gaara: I just said that!
Mina: You know..*looks suspiciously at Gaara* You talk too much to be a bodyguard.
Gaara: *swears more*
Mina: Once I think about it, I see that camera is gonna ruin my reputation.
Gaara: *Sarcastically* I never noticed!
Mina: *looks serious* I want you, as my one and only hit-man, to kill the camera-man, and everybody that sees this video.
Gaara: *shines* That's too many people!
Mina: Now, now, Gaara! I've seen what you can do!
Gaara: .
Back to the audience...
Audience stares idiotically at the screen... Then goes hysterical.
Audience member 1: Oh no! Mina's gonna get Gaara to kill us!
Audience member 2: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
Audience member 3: No way! I paid Forty-five bucks to see this show, and I'm seeing it!
Audience member 4: They blocked the exits!!
Audience member 5: hey, where's Sasuke-kun?
Audience member 3: He's backstage remember?!!
Audience member 4's kid: Mommy! I'm hungry!!
The studio goes dark.
Sand fills the room.
Screams fill the air.
A Terrible laugh echoes......
Alice: I'm here Mina! And I've killed your audience! Muahahaha!!
Gaara: *suddenly happy* Thanks for killing them, it saves me the trouble.
Alice: I did something...FOR MINA!! DAMNIT!!
Mina appears in room.
Mina: Ah, you're done? Gaara, you're good. I'll give you a raise.
Alice: A RAISE!?!
Mina: ...of Fifty cents.
Alice: AHAHAHAHHA!!!
Mina: *grabs favorite blanket and pillow* Good night, I'm going to sleep.
Alice: *Kicks down the door and mumbles a string of curse words*
Gaara: *plops down beside Mina and starts eating cookies*
Voices...Voices....Voices.....
Voices: iWe....Want.....Sasuke....kun..../i
Kid Voice: i Mommy....I'm.....hungry..../i
Mina: *scared and starts crying* Mommy! I wanna go home!