All I wanted was a bath. A seriously long one, with hot scalding water and something rough to slough my skin with. I felt stupid really, my stomach was growling with hunger, the meagre berries that stained my chapped lips blood red were seemingly doing nothing to ease the emptiness that stretched inside of me. Then there was the threat of grounders, it was a miracle Jasper even survived, and then there was Murphy, banished and probably already torn to pieces. But hell, I really wanted a bath. I stretched my fingertips out in front of me, scrubbing them with the grainy plant mixture that Monty and I had concocted to keep hands sterile for surgery. I wanted to tip the bowl over my head and scrub my body, remove the grime and pain that had grown upon me ever since our arrival. Not to mention the traces Finn's skin had left upon mine, I could still feel his fingers trailing down my spine, digging into my hips, what I wouldn't give to scour my skin clean of his touch. I tugged a lank golden piece of hair between my fingers and squeezed my eyes shut. I needed a bath.

A groan from the table beside me snapped me out of my reverie and I quickly smoothed my hands down my thighs, removing the excess liquid and turning to where Octavia lay on the cool surface of the metal table.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, brushing her hair back off her face and pressing the back of my hand to her forehead.

"Yeah, alright," She sighed, pressing her hands to her abdomen, "Honestly I don't think it's anything, just cramps, which is frankly ridiculous, we shouldn't have to deal with this rubbish as well as the possibility of imminent death."

I laughed, "O your positivity is beautiful. But I agree, at least the cramps are as bad as it gets, the implants prevent the other symptoms."

"Thank goodness having a stranger gouge a chunk of flesh out of my arm had an upside." Octavia replied, pulling herself into a sitting position and stretching her arms out to her toes.

I hopped up beside her, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, "God, what I wouldn't give for a bath right now."

O was silent for a moment before I felt her weight leave the table, "Let's go!" She said excitedly and I removed my hands from my eyes, "Seriously Clarke, let's go, Bell doesn't have to know and we'll be back real quick!"

I surveyed her for a second, her eyes were more excited than I had felt in days, "Bellamy would kill me if he found out I'd put you in danger," I sighed, but excitement had started to trickle through me.

"He'd kill us both I reckon." She replied sending me a strange grin.

I raised my eyebrows at her, "The boy would probably jump at the chance to punch me in the face."

She laughed flipping her hair off her shoulder, "Nah, he couldn't hurt our only medic."

"I don't know O," I ran my fingers through my hair, I really wanted a bath, but was it worth the risk?

"Please Clarke!" She grabbed my hands and tugged me to my feet, "Come on, we'll be fine!"

I knew she'd convinced me, even before she'd started speaking. My skin was beginning to itch as the memories of Finn had surfaced, bubbling within me, a mingling of regret and betrayal. I felt stupid for falling for his charming, charismatic personality, I felt stupid for letting myself feel more than I should have and for reading too much into a simple act of spontaneous passion. It's not that I hated him, but god, my hands shook and my knuckles ached to make contact with his face. He'd caused me to doubt myself, to doubt who I'd thought Clarke Griffin was and that was worse than any cruel acts he could have done himself. I knew that if I was in Raven's position I would not remain by his side as she was currently doing. I had a lot of respect for her and I felt guilty for inflicting pain onto her.

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly to clear my mind and turned to Octavia, "Alright, let's go. Should we bring Raven and some of the other girls with us?"

"Yeah, maybe?" Doubt briefly flickered through her eyes, insinuating that she had more of an idea of my situation of Raven and Finn that I was aware of, "Maybe just Raven, any more people and we might draw too much attention?"

I tried to appear completely at ease, "Yeah, sounds good, I'll go and get her, you get whatever stuff you need together!"

She beamed at me and darted down the ladder and out of the drop ship, a skip in her step.

I was suddenly very appreciative of our growing friendship, she was someone whom I had started to put a lot of trust in and it was nice to have a friend, especially after the recent loss of the only one I'd really had on Earth since Wells.

It didn't take me that long to find Raven and thankfully she wasn't in the presence of her boyfriend, something that send an almost staggering wave of relief through my body.

"Hey Raven," I greeted ducking into the tent where she was working on creating functioning bullets.

She glanced up at me surprised and a little wary, "Oh, hi Clarke, did you need some bullets?"

"Oh, no. Octavia and I were going to head down to the river to take a quick bath and I figured it might be something you'd appreciate?" I inwardly cringed as I realized that it almost sounded like a stab at her.

Her surprised expression remained and I waited for her to decline. But instead she seemed to overcome an internal battle and place the bullets down, rising to her feet and wiping her palms on her legs, "That's the best offer I've had in a while." She replied sending me a small smile.

I smiled tentatively back, pushing down the mixture of emotions that were threatening to cascade from my mouth, "Great, grab your stuff, Bellamy is probably 'distracted' in his tent so now's the best time to get away."

"Sure," she shrugged, grabbing a jacket and tucking a knife into the waistband of her jeans, "I only really have these clothes, so I'm good to go."

I nodded, "Yeah, we're meeting O at the gate in five, I've just got to grab my jacket from the tent, so I'll meet you there."

After exiting to the sent I exhaled a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding, twisting my fingers together, I made my way toward where the tent I shared with Finn, Raven, Jasper and Monty was situated. It wasn't the best of circumstances but considering that accommodation was very limited and night-time brought with it frigid temperatures, it was the best we could hope for. I knew that Bellamy had a tent to himself which mildly irritated me for a while but I figured that was simply because everyone was too afraid to share with him, although obviously not temporarily. Unfortunately while I was distractedly thinking these thoughts I didn't realize that the man himself had just emerged from his tent (shirtless as per usual), and I had accidentally stepped right in his path.

"Watch where you're going princess." He smirked, spearing his fingers through his unruly loose curls and stretching his arm above his head, elongating his long lean body and giving me a good view of his chest.

I frowned at him, disoriented, "Sorry," I muttered, ducking around him, not wanting to lengthen the conversation with the risk of giving away my guilt.

"Hey," his fingers wrapped around my wrist sharply, tugging me around to face him, "We need to discuss the grounder situation."

I hesitated, meeting his cool brown eyes, "Perhaps later, after you've attended to your guest." I drawled sarcastically, nodding my head toward where a slim brunette girl, whose name I had forgotten was exiting his tent.

He appeared to have a type I'd noticed, not that I of course, cared. They were all slim and brunette, with tanned skin and gorgeous figures. It baffled me that in a group of one hundred delinquents he'd still managed to establish a type and manage to seduce them all.

He raised his eyebrows at me, an arrogant smirk pulling the side of his mouth, "Ah is our princess pure in that sense as well as all the others?" he mocked, releasing my hand and dropping his arm around the girls' waist, pressing his fingers into her side and kissing the side of her neck.

"You're disgusting." I snapped, turning on heel and marching toward my tent, a burning flush making its way up my neck.

How could he act that way in front of people? The way he looked at that girl was with pure lust and objectification, like she was there to sate his sexual desires and nothing more. Although, I realized, the girl probably wanted exactly the same thing. In a way I didn't blame them, the problem was only when one party didn't realize as such. His touch on the girls' hip had reminded me of Finn's hands on my waist and the anger and embarrassment I had felt toward him had been mis-aimed. Part of me had wanted to defend his 'pure' comment, I was not a prude or any of the other horrible words that had probably been twisting around his ignorant brain. The other part of me knew that I had nothing to prove to Bellamy Blake and I wasn't going to start defending myself now.