Winter No More
Rating: T (mild)
From season two
This is a story about Nathan/Lucas mainly, a little AU from the show's results of these episodes.
It is a complete one parter.
Note: The original version of this story has song lyrics. Because of 's restrictions for lyrics, I didn't post them here. If you would like to read the story with the lyrics please go to my story website listed in my profile. You can find the story there under the heading of family stories.
Lines from the character Dakota came from the show. I of course disclaim to the OTH writers and producers.
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"Can I get you something?"
He smiled at her weakly and shook his head.
"Lucas…"
He stopped her, putting his hand up. "I just…I need a little time to myself right now...I'm so glad you're here Brooke. I just need a minute. Okay?"
He saw her smile sadly at him…nod her head. "Okay."
He nodded his head now too, walking down a white corridor. White everywhere you looked…a cold bleak winter. And yet that wasn't totally true. There were large gorgeous windows too. It was a nice…
Hospital.
Hospital…
It wasn't just white everywhere. There were walls with painted colors too. Nothing too bright. Nothing too striking as a gold colored car…
Car…
He stepped through a hallway and made his way to a corner window. Gazing outside it, at the colors of trees and flowers and all the gorgeousness of spring making its way to summer, he sighed. It was so bright and vivid out there and yet inside…
Inside it was as cold and bleak as winter. He heard sounds. He followed them anxiously. He saw a door…it said no admittance. He passed through it anyway. He saw a stretcher…someone on that stretcher…someone seriously hurt…someone…
"Hey you there…you're not supposed to be in here!"
He didn't say anything…just stared.
"Hey!"
Finally he nodded his head as he was shut out of the room. He heard that noise and it had scared him. His brother was just rooms away and his brother…
His brother was fighting for his life. He had to be. He had to live.
He was his brother…
His brother.
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It was crazy. It started out so wrong, so ugly, so vicious and mean-spirited. It started with that game at the Rivercourt. He remembered now as he walked back to the quiet sanctuary of that window. He met Nathan and he instantly wanted to not like him…wanted to despise him. And he did…for a while.
But see…something had kept nagging him. It kept bothering him. And then IT happened. His brother actually started falling for his best friend. Well that should have been it. He wanted to hate him after that. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted Nathan to hurt if he ever did anything to his best friend.
But he didn't. His brother never hurt his best friend…not the way he had thought he would. And his brother…there were things that just were in him that surprised Lucas over and over. His brother was not happy. He really wasn't happy. He fell one night on the court…he caught the ball and fell. He watched his brother fall and didn't think too much of it, other than to feel some concern.
But now…
Lucas shivered a little. Winter was creeping into these hospital walls from a foreign forbidden place beyond the spring of outside. Winter was strong. Winter lingered as his brother lay still. He could picture Nathan lying there and it made him close his eyes.
He hadn't wanted a brother. Not after he met him. He hadn't wanted Nathan for a brother. He told Nathan that one night. He told him he didn't want him for his brother. They were sharing a room then away from home. They were roommates because of Whitey's alphabetical system. Neither one of the wanted that, but they accepted it. Whitey made Lucas train Nathan then…after the accident. He wanted Lucas to help Nathan find a way to get a shot…..even in the case of being double teamed. He wanted Lucas to help him. Lucas did. He helped his brother…well he tried, but Nathan really then was so stubborn and wouldn't listen…until the game. Then he listened finally.
He listened and later…Lucas would listen to some of his brother's advice.
Looking out at the spring flowered trees now…he tried to escape the winter of the hospital. He went back in his mind to the Rivercourt one night.
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He moved the sling away from his arm. It hurt. It really did hurt. But he had to try. He took the ball, flinching, but did it, like he had just a day ago. He caught the ball as it came down and moved to make another shot….missed again, but at least he was throwing the ball.
"You missed…"
1Lucas turned around at the wry voice. Without even realizing it he smiled a little. "Came here to rub it in?" He heard himself ask the question defensively. He still wasn't totally cool around Nathan, his…uh…brother.
He watched Nathan shake his head with a half smile. "Nah…you're doing bad enough for yourself."
Lucas laughed a bit at that and attempted another shot, wincing at the pain. "Ahhhh…"
He saw his brother look at him with if he wasn't mistaken something that looked like consolation. His words though, offered very little of that. "Hey…look…it's going to hurt at first. But you just got to ignore it. Just keep trying to get it in."
Lucas caught the ball as Nathan threw it back at him. "So what are you doing here? Haley's not around."
"Yeah I know that. I just came back from seeing her."
Lucas sighed, attempting to make another shot and once again failing, but this time…
"Hey…my shoulder hurt about five percent less there." Lucas smiled with wry humor at his brother, seeing a bit of a smile come to his brother's face too as he threw the ball back to him once more. "Do it again."
Lucas laughed a bit. "Uh…how many times?"
"Until you get it…and then all that many times more."
Lucas looked up at the nighttime sky before shaking his head at Nathan's insistence. "You never gave up?"
"Yeah…when my arm went nearly numb, but you haven't gotten there yet. Your shoulder looks way too relaxed."
Lucas laughed, but seeing Nathan still watching him, his full attention on him, he took the ball…and this time…
Swish…
Made it. He smiled.
"All right man…you got one. Now stop grinning, get serious and get another one in there."
Lucas chuckled as the ball was thrown back to him. "You never give up."
"Not until I get what I want."
Lucas shook his head questioningly. "And what could you want from me getting the ball in the basket?"
Lucas saw Nathan look at him with matched questioning before a smirk came over his face. "Nothing…yet…"
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He opened his eyes now. It was one random time of his brother coming to the court. He wouldn't come back after that until they started training for the final game of the season together. But still…that night…
Nathan had stood there for hours while he missed…made a few…and missed. Lucas had thought his brother would protest at all the misses. But instead he seemed not bothered at all.
He just kept throwing that ball at him.
Throwing that ball at him…
Later when they would play the final game of the season he and Nathan would work together for the first time as a real team, a unit. And it was amazing what they could do together. Nathan was a player who took risks. He could flash around the court so fast…so wildly. He could spin and turn here and there and make that ball go in the basket with a crash that excited all.
But Lucas had his place too. He was more careful. He gauged everything with his mind. He watched out for when his team members were in trouble. He kept his team safe from the other one…the ball safe. They were strong and unified. Together they led the team. They gave it a power that could only come from two who were bonded in their movements, bonded in a way the rest of the team…simply wasn't.
How could they be? They weren't brothers.
Lucas looked out the window now, seeing a bird sitting in a tree. It was dark…the color of a raven. It sat there before it gave flight…soaring across the sky.
He had nearly left Tree Hill after that. Well he did go… but then he came back. And it was just there. It was just so. It had just happened.
He had a brother. He had a little brother. His little brother was just three months younger than him. His little brother was married now to his best friend. His little brother and she shared an apartment. His little brother was happy.
He was married and happy, but they still spent time together. They were brothers after all. They were close now and it felt good. They met at the Rivercourt and played together. They played games at Nathan and Haley's apartment. They even went on road trips.
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"Okay…okay…did you get them…did you?"
He watched as his brother flashed him two tickets to a Charlotte Bobcat game.
"All right Dude!"
He listened to his brother laugh. "Yeah…just got to tell Haley now…"
Lucas gestured with his hands a motion of locks and chains. "Oh oh…got to tell the wifey! You afraid little brother she might not let you go?"
He saw his brother shake his head at his teasing before a hand came out slapping him on the arm. "Shut up!"
Lucas grinned and grabbed the ball sitting on the ground between them. And soon his brother was following him. They were dodging and weaving in and out with each other, throwing that ball into the basket and running across their court. They were playing together, against each other…in a spirit of brotherly fun. It felt good to play with him. It felt so good because they were so different and yet they were so alike.
It felt good.
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Lucas drifted out of the memory and put his hand on the window pane. His eyes looked out at the trees and he felt he was facing the coldness and bleakness of winter now. He felt so hollow inside.
When had it happened? When had his brother really BECAME his brother? He couldn't even pin a finger on it. It just did. It just felt right. It just…
Was the way it had to be. The way he wanted it to be…
Needed it to be.
And he knew his brother did too. They had talked about it a few times. Nathan wanted to make sure nothing came between what they had now. And that night when Nathan came and accused him brokenly of bringing Haley into his life…of ruining his life...Lucas felt it even more.
He couldn't stand watching his brother in pain. It hurt so much.
Pain…
Seeing the blood running down his face…
Oh…
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He faced the winter coldness…the tears edging at his eyes. The trees were freezing right before his eyes. They were turning from their bright greens and colors…to winter blue despair.
Despair…
"Lucas…"
He turned around, seeing her standing there.
"The surgery is over…"
~The Track~
Daytona's words echoed in his mind. That Nathan would have turned…he knew…
It was as if…
He meant to crash into the wall.
To crash…
He stared at the open race track. It was silent now. It was quiet. But never would he forget the sound of metal hitting a concrete wall. Never would he forget the sight of fire raging from that twisted piece of metal. Never would he forget holding his brother in his arms and trying to be the big brother…the big strong brother…telling him…he'd be okay.
He'd be okay.
He'd be okay?
He meant to crash.
He hit the wall.
He hit it…because he meant to?
Lucas felt a force hit him hard…rock his body.
He shakily looked up at the skies overhead…they were turning to winter skies before his eyes. Winter skies of signs all along the way.
That night they were not even close yet…they just were in a predicament together, Nathan told him about their father for the first time. He shared with Lucas about what his father put him through. Even as he angrily accused him of trying…of wanting his LIFE…he shared with him.
He shared with him what that father had been like.
What he started…
And then…
"He was kind…"
He was kind.
Nathan was kind.
"Before basketball…"
Before… His brother fell…and kept falling…falling…falling…
And then someone caught him. She caught him and cradled him into her arms and gave him the love he needed and never had before.
But now without it…
Without…
His brother had accused him over and over until one night he handed it to him…he handed him his world. And he should have known…his brother never wanted that world…it was a cold winter world that the harsh branches of the dead trees scraped at his skin. They clawed at his heart.
And yet he gave it to him…
Maybe he thought Lucas could have it and be okay with it.
"He was kind…"
Maybe Nathan had never been strong enough inside to deal with it. Maybe no one would ever be. Maybe he didn't know the true nightmare of what his brother had suffered before Haley came…before he came.
Later he felt like they were sharing that world. He shared his world with Nathan. He just wanted to. He wanted his brother to play because it was fun…because it made him alive.
But…maybe pain had always been attached to it for his brother. He had never had the support of a strong mother and an uncle who looked out for him and protected him. He hadn't had…the belief coming from the people who loved him…because the people in his life…maybe they never really gave him…love.
Not the love he needed.
His little brother…
He crashed his car. He crashed into a wall.
He crashed to escape…
He crashed to end it all…
Because winter had swallowed him up.
Feeling a tear edging down his face Lucas wasn't even aware that Daytona had left him as he stood on that track alone now and saw where his brother had hit the wall…
Crashed…
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One night his brother fell…fell and no one caught him that night. He hit the court hard. He hit and was motionless.
Now he had crashed. He crashed and none of them could stop him. It had been agony and a nightmare of anxiety to watch him speed…more…more…more…more…
To watch the insanity as his brother drove that car…
Straight into a wall.
But no more standing there and watching him fall.
No more.
Lucas turned away from the track…
A determination in his fast walk…that turned to a run…
A desperate run…
He wasn't alone…
He had his brother…
Nathan just needed to know…
He'd not let the winter swallow him up. He'd not let the cold dry needles bring his skin to bleed…his heart to crack.
He'd bring back the spring to him.
He'd be there for him.
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He entered the room now quietly. He brought his hands out of his pockets. He remembered being in a hospital room like this one. He remembered oddly enough waking up to…
His brother.
His little brother who lay there way too still now. Too many machines hooked up to him. Too much…too much…
He pushed away his fears and sadness and sat down on the chair that sat close by the hospital bed. He sat quietly, watching his brother's too quiet face. He looked peaceful now…but he knew…now…only one time had his brother really felt peace. Only one time.
"Hey…"
He heard his voice shaky in the room that had too many white walls. He felt his throat catch and he didn't know what to say. He had it planned before, but now…those plans…nothing made sense.
He wasn't spontaneous like Nathan almost always was…but now he forgot what he had planned to say…now he said what he needed to say.
"Hey Nate…it's okay…all right? It's okay. You're going to be okay. You know…I'm sitting here and thinking…what were you thinking when you visited me? What were you thinking? Man you and me we're in hospitals too much…aren't we?"
He laughed. He heard it echo…a hollow echo. An empty one.
He didn't know what he was saying. It was all just tangled up in feelings because truthfully it had always been there. It was why they fought so much at first. They were brothers. You couldn't just call them enemies even back then because…they were brothers.
He moved his hand onto the bed…just near his brother's still hand. "You know…you helped me wake up somehow then. I don't know why. I didn't hear all you said…but I did some of it and…it helped me wake. I remember you came though because you were upset about Haley…that you couldn't get her to listen to you. You wanted me to wake to help her and to help you. Always looking out for yourself first, right Nate?"
He chuckled…the sound now starting to break through the winter bleakness. It was cracking it.
"Or maybe not. I hear you used to be kind. I KNOW you're kind. I know they hurt you. A lot of people hurt you before. And I know you feel she's gone, but she's still there Nathan. She still loves you. And…"
Lucas swallowed…feeling the winter fading little by little now as the tears rushed to his eyes. The winter chill was being broken. It was being broken just like it had happened when Nathan met Haley…when his little brother came back to life.
"And then after the accident you helped me see I could play again. You really helped me. I'd say that's kind. You made it about wanting to win the game. But you wanted more…didn't you? You wanted it and needed it as much as I need it now…you need-ed…"
His voice broke…rains of pain hitting it…pains that soon though would bring in the sunlight. It was coming…it was shining beyond.
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"I NEED now…my little brother to wake up. I won't let him hurt you anymore. I know he did now…and I promise you I'm doing everything I have to, to STOP HIM. He won't hurt you anymore. He won't come between us. And he won't come between you and her. He won't. I won't let him. I have protected my mom all my life…Nathan…I have looked out for my uncle…I have looked out for my best friend…and now I promise you I will protect you too."
Lucas turned away for a moment. His eyes fell upon the floor of the hospital. It was tiles of ugly scratch-like looking marks. It was what you would expect of a hospital.
But his mind was back to a night when he showed his brother how to play again and he saw the first glimpses of smiles on Nathan's face. He watched him raise his arms and hail victory and it made Lucas smile now…
And cry winter's tears.
He moved closer and reached with a shaking hand now…a hand he forced with his mind to still…
His brother's hand was unmoving. He held it in his gently, but firmly, as he looked down at that face of eyes that saw nothing now…eyes closed to the pain of his existence.
His brother wanted out it seemed…he wanted to escape…his brother was lost…
He would help him find his way again.
The hand sat still in his now as he lifted it into his slightly…gently. He wanted him to know…
He wasn't alone.
He wanted him to know…
He didn't have to be afraid.
He wanted him to know…
He could be who he was before…it…again…
He wanted him to know…
He was loved.
As he held that cold hand in his and tried to let the spring's warmth…a brother's caring…warm it.
"I told you it's okay. And I meant it. It is. I'm making you that promise now that it will be okay. I didn't want to like you at first. You knew that. But it was just stupid. You're my brother and nothing will ever change that. And that means everything to me now."
He felt the tears of winter continue as he remembered his brother being pulled out of that car…holding him in his arms. Needing him to be okay.
Needing…
"If the basketball doesn't make you happy, that's fine. Give it up. But I think it does make you happy…you just have to find the part of it that was happy…right? You still have it in you Nathan. You're still kind. And you're strong. You are. You're not what he tried to make you into. You can do this. I know you can. You just got to fight Nathan. You got to fight now, okay? You got to be strong little brother and you have to fight…and let us help you. And I know what you need. I know who you need. I know-
As he held that hand and felt his own giving it warmth the tears rushed more and he swallowed hard. He never knew before what it was like to have a brother.
Now…
He could not face the seasons without his brother.
"You made me make a promise to you. Well sorry Little Brother, but I had to break that promise. See…she loves you…and you need her. And when I made you make a promise…you annoying little brother…you broke it. But you were right to break it. You did it because you cared. And I did this because…"
He watched her come in…he saw the tears that blanketed her face. He saw the redness in it. And he moved and lifted her hand with his so they were both now holding that stilled hand. They both were giving it warmth.
He saw the pain in her face and he smiled at her, he tried…as the tears still entered his eyes.
But they were not winter tears anymore. They were lit with spring showers now. They were waking tears.
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"I did it because she loves you…and you love her…and right now…you need each other. And because…"
He felt his heart beating too fast…too rapidly as he leaned down and moved his face near his brother's still one.
His lips lightly brushing…kindly brushing…his brother's cold forehead.
It wouldn't be cold forever though. She was here now. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her sit down…as he whispered gently…
"I love you Little Brother..."
And the winter cold…
Thawed.
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The End
This story was not based on any spoilers or promos. It of course ended up differently from what the show gave us, lol. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think, feedback always adored!