Hey guys,
I am completely new to this, so it would be great if some of you could read and review my story. Of course I hope you all enjoy it.
I also have to admit that I am no native English speaker, let alone writer, so any corrections on grammar, vocabulary, idioms etc. are most welcome! I am trying to learn, so don't spare me any criticism. Thanks to all of you!
Enjoy!
1. Relic of the past
As Darth Vader entered the room, his black robes undulated behind him like the incorporation of a nightmare.
His sole presence made the room seem darker.
Buzzing instruments hung to the clinical clean walls of the room, some of them peeping, others flashing hectically or shining in a flickering red. Vader neared the scientist. Although his face was hidden behind the mask in the colour of darkest night, his wheezing, unchanging breath, created by a machine rather than his own lungs, gave an impression of impatience. The two men, dressed up in grey scrubs, bowed nervously.
"Lord Vader."
"You called for me, doctor?"
The older scientist nodded jerkily. "Excuse the disruption, Lord Vader, but you left orders that you were to be called back here on Coruscant in any case of irregularities."
"Aaaah." The Sith turned away from the man and crossed towards the electronically locked door. A wave of his hand, and it glided open hissing. White, icy damp wafted towards them. This room was furnished exactly like the other one, some tables with material for chemical or medical experiments and two huge XXXX, but its walls were kept all in black instead of white. Opposite to the door towered an onyx block of carbonite, a block of an impressing height that made even Vader himself look like a dwarf. The Sith crossed that room as well, stepping in front of the block that from afar equalled an irregular, massive black pillar. Light flashed up late, lightening the man and the carbonite monster. Out of the upper part of the block rose a chain that was secured at the room's ceiling.
"Finally." Vader touched the front of his opponent with his hands. "Twenty years are a long time, but I could wait. Now, finally, you are ready to die."
"Excuse me, Lord Vader, but she is not dying." The younger scientist came forward, before his colleague could stop him.
"Not?" Vader's voice sounded mechanically as ever, but nevertheless both men twitched anxiously, feeling his anger. "Why then have you called me here?"
"Lord Vader, her heartbeat shows certain irregularities. Well, there is no real heartbeat, of course, but there always was a sparkle of live left to scale. The last time she fluctuated this much was, according to the log files, when she was frozen. We trust the last bit of body warmth she carries in her started to melt the carbonite from the inside until it gave in. She might have reached a higher level of consciousness in her persisting sleep."
"So what?" The Sith lord did not seem to understand the meaning of that medical talk.
"We can't change anything about her state with the use of technic. The modification happens inside out. The most supposable outcome of it might be that she drifts away into madness as soon as she wakes enough to realize her own helplessness."
"And then she will die?"
"Sorry, Lord Vader, but that is not very likely. It is far more probable that she will lose consciousness forever. She then won't be a person anymore, but just a living, empty body."
Vader hesitated a moment, then turned back to fully look at the younger scientist for the first time since he had arrived. "So she won't be feeling any more pain?"
"No, presumably she won't. So shall we keep her that way?"
Darth Vader stared at the carbonite, silent until he had decided. "No, you won't escape me as easy as that." He hit the cold block with his fist. "You will live again, live and suffer, when you finally realize what you lost. Twenty years have passed; all your friends are dead now. Besides the petty little alliance there is no rebellion whatsoever remaining of your struggle. You have failed."
The young scientist of course could not tell, because technically the Sith's voice sounded the same all the time, but for an instant he might have bet to hear a malicious laughter.
"Unfreeze her, and lock her up. I wish to be called when you are ready."
With that Darth Vader swept back out, two anxious scientist shortly behind him, and the room turned as dark again as it had been before. The flashing of a myriad of small lights scampered over the glassy carbonite.