Shadow of Corruption

IMPORTANT NOTE: Usually, the first half of a chapter is the person's thoughts on their life and world. So this part you are reading would be what Hermione is thinking, as a 27 year old person. Then, the part separated by the * sign is the part where the story is telling of what Hermione is doing and her actions. Inspired by Pygmalion and Artful Facade.

Chapter 1- Hermione

I see the signs of winter pass me by, fully-fledged on a war-torn mission. For a brief second, I wonder if it is another ally Harry has gained against the war with Voldemort. Another tactic the "Saviour" of our wizarding community is using for another victorious battle over the recesses of evil...

Doesn't Harry realise? Doesn't anyone realise that with war- everything is just a battle of supplies? Nothing is won. Everything is wasted. Everyday, people report news of joy, praising Harry for another ten yards of land he has overcome. Yet I stay to listen between the lines. Another fifty casualties lost against Voldemort's eighty today.

One hundred and thirty men gone- boyfriends, or fathers, or lovers... gone. What did these one hundred and thirty men die for? Justice? Love? Hate? Or futility?

Harry is not my lover. He is merely my companion. I "belong" to Harry, because the wizarding world expects us to be together, the Ministry of Magic and the Vice- president of Cambridge University for witches and wizards. And because our relationship, if you can even call it that, is solely founded on everyone else's expectations, it resides on the platonic levels of Platonica. Don't get me wrong, Harry still has the capacity to love; it has just been swallowed and trampled by the needs of the community.

Sometimes, I think we have all deprived the world of the real Harry Potter.

Sometimes, I even think it is because of Harry that Ron went away.

Ron. Those stubborn brown eyes. The infamous shocking red hair, which always seemed to be laughing not with you, but at you. The Ron Weasley I grew to know. The Ron Weasley who joined forces with Voldemort eight years ago. I shouldn't call Ron evil, or a minion of Voldemort. Because Ron was never the type of person whose's will could be ruled by another. Is he evil? Is he a damnéd bastard who murders without even blinking? I honestly have no idea...

Ron was my best friend, Harry's best friend. Yet now, ever since that month eight years ago, even Harry has banished the thought of Ron. Mention the name in his presence now. And you see the noble disgust and hate of one of the right-hand men of Voldemort.

But, it all doesn't make sense. Nothing does, in today's world where we are the chess pieces of men's whims. Why do we live in life? It cannot be to eternally struggle against those who oppose us. Sadly it seems to be that way. They said World War II was the War to end all Wars. Yet what are we fighting in again?

Harry tells me Ron betrayed him... us... everyone. Betrayal, such a harsh and ruthless word to use on Ron. It is times like that when I want to shake Harry senseless. He is pompous now. Arrogant. The "Saviour" of our world who loves everyone. Yet no one.

Look what we've all done to him.

My "partner" Harry... is boring, dull and knows nothing except how to continue to be the "Golden Man". He lives by his daily schedule, invites from international Ministries and various other boring tête-à-têtes. The Boy Who lived is gone. The Harry who wondered around Hogwarts pulling jokes and pranks with Ron is gone. The boy we all loved... is now the Man who loves everyone.

I wish Ron was back. I wish Ron never went away. It sounds like a simple wish. If only it could be that way.

Ron.

It seems his name appears every time I reflect on the past. Not that I am surprised. my entire past practically consisted of arguing with him. Now, I am starting to wonder why. Why he abandoned me eight years ago...

No...

Those are Harry's words... But perhaps for once, I agree with him. Ron did abandon me. Not only because he is now with the "enemy", but because he let me go...

Why?

Why.

For Merlin's sake, Damn it, Why!

Once, I tried to forget Ron, by making myself the slave of everyone's expectations. But I couldn't forget the person who always managed to infuriate and annoy me. I love Ron because he is the only person who can provoke my hidden emotions. I also love him because he hates every soppy silly Romance novel ever written. No matter how I try, I can never make myself hate Ron.

Unlike Harry. He has changed. People don't think so. They call it growing up. I call it the loss of innocence, the loss of childhood.

Yet in a sense, Harry Potter had no childhood.

In that perfect "golden" world of Harry's, there are no raw emotions. Only time to save the people once again. Everything is prim and proper. "Like the way it should be, Hermione, " Harry once said.

The wizarding community looked towards Harry for salvation too soon.

What has become of the two boys that I love?

I still use the word "love", not "loved". A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. How ironic for Harry it would be to discover that I still have feelings for Ron. I smirk at this- yet smirking and irony is still reserved for Slytherins. Which reminds me of another person, Professor Snape. He has also gone over to the Dark side with Ron, not as a spy anymore. For him, I suspect things really started after the death of Albus.

"Good riddance," Harry had muttered, he never really trusted Snape again after Albus's death.

Yes, Professor Dumbledore has died. He wasn't murdered. No one in the world could ever murder him. He just died, an old man in his bed. I was there when it happened. I was also there, when he muttered his last seven words. Something to do with Lily, Harry's mother. Right now, I can't seem to remember it. But I always have them stored in the back of my mind. Because Dumbledore was a great man, and no word that came out of his mouth was needless.

Thinking back, I wonder who Lily and James really were. I wonder how two loving parents as they could ever give birth to someone now so unfeeling as Harry. James grew up only to love and adore Lily. Harry is now growing up only to care shallowly for the whole world...

Mention the word love to Harry now, and he'll give me a quick kiss, a blank stare. And then he'll go and have more meetings with the Prime Minister.

Why?

Why, Ron?

Why am I fading away here, like a statue- contented to do only what is expected from me by the general public? Why can't I do anything I want to, I feel like? I feel like I am trapped in a gilt cage. This cannot be my fate.

Why! Ron?

I sit and continue to write a letter, a dutiful one composed rightly by the Minister's soon to be wife. Another letter thanking another important guest.

Why. Ron.

Why can't I be out in the park, or the library laughing away with the sun? I can't fight everything on my own. Not forever at least. I want to see Ron again. I remember him once telling me to be strong. "For Merlin's arse, Hermione! You can't just be what every lump of poo wants you to be," he had said.

I think Harry will propose to me soon. In his normal and "proper" way. Probably one day at dinner, when we're eating. He'll probably just say something like, "Hermione, I think we should get married."

Everything in my life is so ironic. Because people used to think that me and Ron were meant to be.

But now, I am with Harry.

Why? I'll tell you why.

Because you left me, Ronald Weasley. You left me.

*

Hermione picked up her quill resignedly and looked at the piles of parchment lying on her desk. She looked down at her quill again, and something inside her made her decide to put it down. Hermione sighed. Life, each day took the form of a reprimand Harry was mentally giving her. A reprimand to do the right thing, like a proper Minister's "wife", the way Harry wanted her to behave.

Hermione stopped her wistful sighs and got up from her chair. She had had enough thinking already. It didn't help her at all. In fact, Hermione was sure that it only dragged her deeper into a pool of screaming emotions, mostly about Ron. It seemed, that even after the eight years, she could never forget how to love him. He wasn't just her best friend at school, even though they always bickered with each other. But then again, it was always through those days of bickering that Hermione found the best of herself.

Hermione frowned and shook her bushy hair, which had only tamed down ever so slightly. What she really needed was someone she could talk to and ask for advise. About everything, Harry, herself, Ron and the whole bloody war. Hermione couldn't help smiling at the word "bloody". Ron had always used it, and she had always told him to mind his language. She had never expected herself to utter the coarse word even in her head.

Like people who have never seen snow before seeing a tiny flake, Hermione was thrown off her mental balance. She couldn't explain what had happened except that somehow, she was fed up. Fed up of being coped up in a place while she knew that there was something more important she could do.

Right now, she needed a distraction from her thoughts. Hermione gathered her bags, ready to apparate to one of her friend's houses. God knew that it had been a long time before she had mindlessly chatted with any of them. Hermione listed one name after another in her head.

Not Sirius, though he was the person she usually visited with Harry. Right now, he was busy with another undercover breakthrough at Fort Adamant against the Death-Eaters. Not Remus either. He was with Sirius. The two went everywhere together and they never gave a damn to how dangerous the situations were. Not that Sirius or Remus actually enjoyed fighting in the war. Hermione suspected they only fought it for Harry's sake.

Not Remus, not Sirius, Dumbledore was gone. Professor Snape was with Ron and Voldemort. Ron was definitely out of the question, unless Hermione decided to rampage into a cave full of Voldemort's evil minions shouting for Ron and an early death.

Lavender. No. She was busy with the birth of her new baby. She and Seamus had decided not to wait. Like so many couples whose lives were affected daily by the war. Parvati. No. Hermione had already bothered her too much. Besides, she was probably busy at the Hospital anyway.

One by one, the names were ticked off. Hermione felt a growing sense of desperation as she came to the end of her list. The only people she had not thought of were Harry and Voldemort. And Hermione was not so dumb as to go to either of them for a harmless chat.

But amidst a war, desperate times did call for desperate needs. Hermione did the last thing she would have ever had the courage to do. She would see Ginny. Rather than face Ginny than to face another day of emptiness and loneliness.



Ginny...

It sounded simple. But reality was harsher. Of course, Ginny had been one of Hermione's best friend back in Hogwarts. But Ginny also happened hate Hermione's guts. Ever since the news that Ronald Weasley had gone over to the dark side, the Ministry started to distrust the Weasleys. And the Weasleys in turn distrusted Harry and Hermione.

Hermione was a smart girl by nature and she could guess why. Ginny had always liked Harry, and now Hermione was living with him. Hermione and Ron had been extremely close, and so it was natural to deduct that something in their relationship drove Ron away. There were perhaps more complex reasons, which only Ginny would know...

A strange thing fate could be, but somehow it was fate and determination that drove Hermione to take up her wand. Visiting Ginny would defeat the purpose of trying to distract her thoughts from Ron. But it would perhaps tell Hermione something more about Ron. After all, Ginny was Ron's favourite, and only, sister.

And Hermione would probably get kicked out of the Weasley house the minute after she stepped in...

The least that Hermione could do was to try. And perhaps to ask Ginny for the help she needed. A clue perhaps to uncover all the secrets of their past and the reasons that drove everything to its present consequences.

Hermione looked at her wand and then at her shaking hand. She shook her head and took a deep breath. Hermione muttered the spell under her breath. Almost immediately, a dizzy sensation went up through her spine. Not because of the actual apparating. But because of the arrival Hermione knew she would receive.

A simple apparating spell. And she would be inside the Weasley house. It was the trouble with magic. It made everything sound so easy to do. Magic made people think there were invincible. Magic took away the real meaning of being a human. A spell, and Hermione was inside the house she had not dared to step inside for eight years. God, was it fair for magic to make her decision seem so damn easy?

Hermione was inside. Inside the kitchen for the first time in eight years. She felt like a trespasser amidst all the warmth that could be sensed around the house. Still full of warmth, even though the Weasleys were now one of the most suspected families in Britain. Because of Ron.

"Good evening Hermione." The tone was resigned and flat. Hermione's hope faded, only Ginny knew how to accuse someone without sounding it.

Ginny was standing in the kitchen, where Hermione reasoned she would be.

"Hermione. How nice of you to come." Ginny said with a hint of irony in her voice. "Please sit and feel welcome." Ginny was standing by the kitchen cabinets, putting utensils neatly in their place. Ginny had been in charge of the household for two years already. Most of her time was shared dutifully between her brothers taking care of their aging Father. Molly had died two years ago. Arthur was probably following Molly's fate.

Her death. It had been out of a broken heart. For Ron. He was always his mother's favourite.

Molly's death, Arthur's fate, Ron's departure. Hermione couldn't blame the Weasleys for hating herself and Harry. How could they not? It was natural and Hermione knew that she would have done the same had she been in their shoes.

There had been rumours a while ago that the Weasleys still kept up correspondence with Ron. A precaution Harry could not and did not miss. There were Goblins now guarding The Burrow.

Yes, even Harry turned against his old family.

As much as Hermione wished to avoid Ginny's eyes, she had to look at her. "I'm sorry Ginny. Sorry for all the stupid things I've ever down in all this." Hermione pleaded desperately, not caring if she had to beg or get down on her knees. If only the world could see this now. Hermione Granger with tears in her eyes, begging the person who belonged to the most suspected family in Britain.

There was a reflex in Ginny's face. Something softened, like the rare ray of light that escapes from a burnt Nova. Ginny was not a cruel or cold girl by nature. Hermione knew that if Ginny could only forgive her, then her world would be much better off. But, as suddenly as Ginny's softened countenance appeared, it vanished.

"Sorry's just a word Hermione."

"What do you want from me then. Forgiving is another word, Ginny."

"Forgiving has to be sincere Hermione."

"So sorry's not?"

There was a lengthy pause as each woman struggled with her words. Finally, Ginny continued in a flat voice. "Hermione, please join us at dinner. We have enough room." Behind the kitchen door, Hermione could hear the clatters of dishes, jokes and laughter, still strong in amidst all the controversies. The Weasleys were strong.

Her own strength was hanging by a thread.

"I can't Ginny. You know that. Fred, George, Percy, Charlie and Bill all can't forgive me for what I've done or didn't do." Hermione replied. She didn't know what she wanted from this visit, but to hope that her life wasn't really a dead end.

And to hope that she might discover why Ron really left.

And as if to further prove the Weasley's dislike of Hermione, Percy came around the corner and into the kitchen. What had began as a merry laugh and persuasion for Ginny to join the rest of the clan ended in a cold but polite scowl. "Good evening Hermione. Nice day at the Ministry? Anymore innocent lives put to trial?" Percy muttered coldly and walked starkly back into the living room.

Hermione's heart dimmed. "This is why I can't stay, Ginny." she muttered almost to herself. "Why I can't stay..."

Again, there was that breeze, that almost warming expression. Unexpectedly, words came out, not as cold or harsh as the wintry Ginny that Hermione had seen for the past eight years. It was a shadow of what Ginny had been to Hermione back in Hogwarts. Nothing more than a shadow- but even a shadow was something.

"Hermione. How can you expect us to forgive?"

It was a start. The first time Ginny had ever considered that the word in a softer light. Forgive.

"Perhaps I don't," Hermione replied softly. "But you've got to understand, Ginny. One day, he just left me." There was a pause as Hermione hesitantly thought over her words. Ron did leave her, but it had been something that had driven him to that decision.

Hermione was no fool. She couldn't recall one particular incident where she and Ron had had an enormous fight. All there was were smidgens of conversations and other bits and bobs. But she had been Ron's closest friend. She probably had done something that had seemed so trivial years before, something that had probably been so important...

And Hermione had Ginny standing in front of her, another more precise means to find out the truth than to sort through old memories.

A shaky exhale of breath. And out blurted a Gryffindor's honesty.

"Was it me?" Hermione asked. And almost laughed at herself. It was such a rhetorical question.

"Yes. Along with the others, Hermione. But you were so close to him." Ginny replied and averted her eyes, clearly thinking of her mother and her death. "I'm sorry Hermione. I can't deal with all this. Maybe you should come back. Then we can talk."

"Tomorrow?" Hermione asked eagerly, hopefully, desperately.

Ginny saw that desperation. "Tomorrow."

*

Author's notes: Well, that was as good as I could bother to revise and get it. Was it good? What did you think about it? Tell me! *Mad chants to Tiki-torch carriers in background* Oops, wrong story- that's for Interrogate Draco to help him escape from his doom. Self- plugging, I like it!

I hope you like this new version. 1000 cookies to everyone who reviews. 1000 make-believe cookies that is!